Disclaimer: Escaflowne does not belong to me.
Millerna's Peek into the Human Body: Digestion
After a grueling battle with Zaibach, Millerna called Van, Allen and the members of the Crusade into the throne room of the Fried castle. Hitomi, Merle and Prince Chid were sitting there impatiently.
"What do you want?" Van asked crossly, sitting between Hitomi and Merle. He was exhausted.
"I thought that, after a tough battle, what would be more fun then a little studying."
Their jaws dropped. "Studying?" Hitomi repeated. "I don't exactly find that relaxing."
"Oh, it's much more fun than you think," she said, overly cheerfully. "Because today we're going to learn about the digestive system. Isn't that exciting?"
"Yeah, real exciting," they mumbled.
"Show some enthusiasm." Van raised his hand. "Yes?"
"I think I left my enthusiasm back on the battlefield. Mind if I go back and get it?"
"Yes, I do mind," she snapped. "You're going to learn something if it kills you."
Hitomi raised her hand this time. "What if you already learned about digestion?"
"Then you'll learn again. Cheer up." She took out an armful of papers. "I have diagrams!"
"How wonderful!" Merle said sarcastically.
Millerna scowled at her. "How 'bout we dissect a live specimen, perhaps a cat?"
"You know, I think I left something on the battlefield too. See ya." Merle was off like a shot.
Prince Chid raised his hand. "My stomach hurts."
"Well, maybe in this lesson you'll figure out why," she said impatiently. "After all, as we know, it's part of the digestive system."
"Oh. " His face fell. Allen patted him on the arm sympathetically.
"So, let's begin." She unrolled a diagram. "This is the human digestive system. Van, can you lend me your sword as a pointer?"
"Huh, what?" He had it pointed at his neck. "I'm using it."
Hitomi took it away from him. "Me first."
"You can use it later. " Millerna grabbed it. "Here's the mouth. We have the teeth, tongue and salivary glands. Does anyone know what they're used for?"
Allen's hand shout up. "I know what the mouth and the tongue are used for. They…"
"Allen!" Hitomi screeched. "That's disgusting."
"What? I was going to say kissing."
"Good, I thought you were going to say something else."
"Eew, Hitomi!" Van exclaimed, realizing what she was thinking about.
"Sorry, I've been reading too many American newspapers in history and I immediately thought of their soon to be former president."
"Ahem, can we continue?" No one answered her. "Okay, the salivary glands release saliva, which contains digestive enzymes that digest the food chemically. By chewing the teeth digest it mechanically. The tongue mixes the food and the saliva and helps swallow. Is everybody listening?" Once again there was silence. She continued. "Then the food goes down the esophagus which is a tube that pushes it into the stomach. Then in the stomach, acids continue to digest the food chemically with enzymes. Sometimes the acids are created due to stress, causing ulcers."
"I think I have one," said Van. Hitomi giggled.
"Then the food goes into the small intestine where the villi absorb the nutrients."
"I learned that on the Magic School Bus," Hitomi commented. (A/N: I actually did. Hee hee.)
"The villi contain capillaries which transport the nutrients throughout the blood into other parts of the body. Fatty acids, which are part of fats, hence the name, are diffused into the lacteals."
"Speaking of lact," said Mr. Mole. "I'm lactose intolerant. Is that…"
"It has absolutely nothing to do with this." Millerna interrupted. "Not much anyway. Anyhow, after the nutrients are absorbed, the remaining undigested materials go into the large intestine where excess water is reabsorbed. If too much water is absorbed, then constipation occurs. The opposite is diarrhea."
"I think I'm going to be sick," said Hitomi. She and Van were both turning green.
"Then it is stored temporarily in the rectum until it is egested through the anus." Millerna gave Van his sword back. "Next lesson is on circulation."
"I think rumors are circulating," Van whispered, "that she's a little, uh…"
"Nuts?" Hitomi supplied. "One thing's for sure, I'm never becoming a doctor. Or taking biology again."
"Me neither, I throw up at of the sight of my own blood."
"You usually throw up your blood," Hitomi reminded him. "Hey, she didn't mention vomiting."
"Uh, because it's what we're going to be doing now," Van said.
"Oh, right. " They tossed their cookies, their cakes, everything under the sun, right there and then.
The end.