Disclaimer: Escaflowne does not belong to me.
Reproduction
It had been a while since that last lesson. Hitomi was back now and Folken had joined them. They had hoped she had given up after Merle had given her a lesson of her own. But she wasn't through with them yet.
Van sat down and groaned. "You'd think she'd have learned her lesson, but no…"
"Cheer up," said Folken, sitting next to him. "It'll be a good experience. Fill your head with something other than battle strategies."
Now it was Merle's turn to groan. "Am I going to have to hit you too?"
"I can't believe I missed that," Hitomi said disappointedly.
"Well, you may get another chance," said Dryden. "So I wouldn't worry about it. "
She sighed. "It's not the same." Hitomi looked around. "Where is Millerna, anyway?"
Allen shrugged. "I hope she didn't bring us here for nothing," he started to say.
Just then, Millerna burst in; her arms once again loaded with diagrams. "Hello!" she said cheerfully.
"Hey," they mumbled.
"Oh, don't be so gloomy. We're going to have some fun today!"
"What now?" Dryden said wryly. "The absolutely fascinating foot?" They snickered.
Millerna shook her head. "No. Reproduction."
The room was immediately filled with cheers from the Crusade.
"But, if you don't want to…"
"No, we'll behave, we promise," said Gadeth.
"Yeah," the others agreed.
"Well, if that's how you feel…" She turned around and grinned triumphantly.
"Wait!" They heard someone shout. Princess Eries rushed in. "I thought you said you'd tell me when you were doing this."
"Oh, sorry, I must have forgot," Millerna said apologetically. "So, are you really sure you want to?" She directed this question to those who hadn't said anything: Van, Hitomi, Merle, Allen, Folken and Dryden.
Van shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. The only one around here who really knows about sexual reproduction is Allen."
"Hey!" Allen protested. "I just have a little more experience in that matter."
"Yes, I know and it makes me nervous," said Hitomi, who still hadn't excepted his marriage proposal. "I'm not quite up to that level yet."
"Yeah, you sure have a lot of balls, Allen," Van said.
Millerna let out a cry that made everyone jump.
"What was that?" Merle asked.
Millerna unrolled her diagram. "The male reproductive system. Testes, which Van just mentioned, are the male gonads. They produce sperm, the male sex cells. The sperm are then stored in the epididimus, where they mature."
Merle giggled. "That's a funny word. It sounds like hippopotamus."
"Anyway," Millerna continued, "when they're fully mature, and the male undergoes sexual arousal (this got another giggle from Merle and cheers from the Crusade) the sperm travel through the vas deferens to the lower part of the abdomen. They pass through the Cowper's gland, the prostate gland, and seminal vesicles, which secrete fluids that mix with the sperm to form semen. The semen provides a watery environment for the sperm to swim in, and also protect it from the acidity of the female reproductive system. Then it exits through the urethra."
Van raised his hand. "We're talking about humans, right?"
"Of course we are, dummy," Allen snapped.
"Hey, don't call my brother that," Folken jumped in.
"I can fight my own battles, thank you." Van stood up, fists clenched.
"Van, stop it!" said Hitomi.
"Yeah, listen to her. Stop being such a dick!"
Their arguing was interrupted by another scream from Millerna.
"The urethra leads out through the penis to the outside of the body. On, and I forget to mention, the scrotum holds the testes and regulates their temperature, slightly lower than the body's, or else there would be problems with the sperm. This could be if the testes are too close to the rest of the body, for example, wearing really tight pants or…"
"Yeah, you ought to stop wearing those tight leather pants, Allen," Van said scathingly. "It seems fertilization is all you're good for."
"Excellent Van!" Millerna exclaimed. "Fertilization, the joining of the sperm and the egg to make a baby. This happens in the women's body." She unrolled a diagram of the female reproductive system. "Eggs are created in the ovaries, and, when fully mature, they are released into the fallopian tube. This is the site of fertilization if any sperm are present." The reply to this was blank stares.
"How…" Gadeth started to say, but he changed his mind, unsure of how to phrase the question.
"How what? The sperm and egg both have a nucleus, which combine into one, creating a zygote, which becomes the baby."
Their expressions didn't change. They had absolutely no idea what she was saying.
Princess Eries stood up. "You need to find ways to reach these dimwits. Let me try. Allen, could you help me out a bit? You're the expert, after all."
"Uh, sure." He followed her to the door.
Folken stood up as well. "I'll help them."
"What do you know about this?" Van asked him.
"Not much," he admitted. "But my curiosity has got the better of me. Besides, I want to get my new invention." He disappeared after them.
"Well, said Millerna, "while we're waiting for them, we'll talk about menstruation."
The men grimaced. "Do we have to?" asked Dryden.
"It's really quite simple," she said, ignoring him. "The cycle goes on for twenty eight days. First, the egg matures in something called the follicle. When it's fully mature, the follicle ruptures and releases the egg into the oviduct. This is called ovulation. During this process, the uterine lining starts to thicken. It continues thickening throughout the cycle until the menstrual period where the unfertilized egg and blood leave the body. There's a bit more to it, hormones and such, but I'll keep it simple for now."
"I'm glad I don't have my period yet," said Merle.
Hitomi looked surprised. "You don't? Well, it's only a matter of time."
"Must we talk about this?" asked Van. He looked almost as green as he did when they learned about digestion.
Folken, Eries and Allen came back into the room. Folken was carrying what looked like a projector with a VCR attached and Allen and Eries had a wooden stage and a box.
"What's that?" Hitomi asked.
"A stage," Eries replied.
"Obviously. But what's in the box?"
She took something out of it. "Puppets!" she answered gleefully.
They burst out laughing. Allen blushed furiously. "I can't believe I agreed to this."
"Oh, be a good sport." Eries handed him a puppet. It looked like a sock with a long tail.
Hitomi was cracking up. "I can't believe those two are putting on a puppet show."
"Don't have a fit," said Van, slightly alarmed.
Allen poked his head out the window of the stage. "Don't laugh. It wasn't my idea." He ducked behind the small curtain Eries had just put up. She lowered Millerna's diagram, then joined him.
A moment later, two puppets popped up. One was the one she gave Allen earlier, and the other what looked like a material Easter egg with no colors.
They all had to hold back their somewhat childish giggles now. Folken, who had been pretty reserved until this point couldn't take it. He laughed so hard he nearly dropped what he was carrying and, when he went to catch it, knocked down the stage, along with Eries and Allen, leaving them in a knot on the floor. They struggled to untie themselves, but slipped on the puppets and fell backward, Eries landing right on top of him. Now everyone else started laughing. Even Millerna was smiling, even though she was a bit miffed about this. Folken stopped laughing and stepped over them to say something to Millerna. She smiled even wider and nodded, taking something out of her bag. "I have a special treat for you. With this Zaibach and Mystic Moon technology, we are going to show you something new."
Hitomi's face went white. "Oh, no!"
"What's the matter?" Merle asked.
"No, not that. Anything but that."
"Spit it out," said Dryden impatiently.
"No… not The Miracle of Life."
Their jaws dropped. Everyone screamed and ran from the room.
Millerna stood there looking puzzled. "Was it something I said?" She shrugged and put the tape it. "Whoops, forgot to rewind." Her eyes grew wide. "Oh, dear. I'm never having kids." She sat down and watched the movie.
The End.