Movie Mischeif #2: Buffy the Empire Slayer
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy (though I'd like to own Sarah Michelle Geller) or Star Wars (Lucas can keep it)
What 's movie mischeif, you say ? refer to WALKER TEXAS POWER RANGER !
Princess Leia and Han Solo sat at their positions in the Hoth base.
"Princess," said Han, in a tender, loving voice. "I've always wanted to ask you something."
"Oh, Han ! Yes I will marry you !"
"Uh, no, I was gonna ask why you have donuts in your hair."
Luke walked in to the room with a big frown on his face.
"What's a matter, fly boy?" said Han.
"So you think a pretty for a Jedi?" said Luke.
"Give it to me Luke," said Leia
"Uh-huh, uh-huh." said Luke handing her a computer layout of the deathstar.
"What's this?" said Leia, pointing at a green dot.
"That's Vader's inner sanctum, where he keeps all his secret stuff.
"Vader gets porno mags?" said Han.
"What's this?" Leia inquires, pointing at a red dot.
"That's ketchup, from my lunch."
"So what's this I hear about Vader being a vampire?"
"I am already on it." said a familiar face. Buffy in Bounty Hunter Outfit.
In the Inner Sanctum of Darth Vader, he sits atop his throne,
puffing a breathalizer.
"Blah-blah-blah, I (inhales) vant to suck your (inhales) b..."
"Not thanks, Master Vader." said the Capatain.
"E-hem. (inhales) call me Count Vadula. (inhales)
"Destroy them (inhales)...the rebels (inhales) now !
"Not on my watch !" said Buffy, scaring the stuffing out of you with that oh-so-sudden
jump outta nowhere type attack stuff.
"Vat, chusay?" said Count Vadula
"I said, 'Not on my watch !'"
"No (inhales) Buffy (inhales) I am your...."
"Nope. Not my father, or my mother, or anything in relation to me. "
"Accually (inhales) I am your chiropracter 's diatiction 's stepson 's uncle 's
pet cat 's nephew 's lawyer 's uncle, twice removed."
"That's scary." she replied. She drew a wooden stake.
"This may be a long, long time ago, but use a real weapon." said Vader.
"I don't get that at all." said the captain. "If it's a long time ago, why do we have
lasers, space ships, lightsabers, and interstellar teleportation gigaflux equailibrium!!!!!"
Buffy throws the stake and nails the captain in the heart.
"Good shot." said Vader.
Buffy drew a lightsaber and went head to head with Vader, er, Vadula.
Finally, Vader stopped. He became a bat and flew out the window.
He quickly realized that their is no oxygen in outerspace, and died.
All of the sudden an evil cackle of a demon-vampire-creature came echoing through the halls.
"Mesa called Jarjar Binks !" it screamed.
"But you aren't in The Empire Strikes Back" said Buffy.
"Sosa-what. Kees me fuzzy brown gungan butt."
Jarjar's eyes turned red, and wings bursted from his back. He sprouted fangs and
flew at Buffy. She took her lightsaber and gave him the worst darn enema ever, as if they
didn't sting like heck at first, with a lightsaber. OUCH !
Afterwards, Buffy went to Dagobah to find Yoda and learn more of the Jedi way.
THE END
Next Time: What will happen if Terrence and Phillip get shot?
Will the kids' counciling under the Old Batman help out? It's up to
Cartman to stop Satan and The Joker from destroying earth in
the newest thriller, CART-MAN BEYOND ! (na na na na na na na na Cartman)
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy (though I'd like to own Sarah Michelle Geller) or Star Wars (Lucas can keep it)
What 's movie mischeif, you say ? refer to WALKER TEXAS POWER RANGER !
Princess Leia and Han Solo sat at their positions in the Hoth base.
"Princess," said Han, in a tender, loving voice. "I've always wanted to ask you something."
"Oh, Han ! Yes I will marry you !"
"Uh, no, I was gonna ask why you have donuts in your hair."
Luke walked in to the room with a big frown on his face.
"What's a matter, fly boy?" said Han.
"So you think a pretty for a Jedi?" said Luke.
"Give it to me Luke," said Leia
"Uh-huh, uh-huh." said Luke handing her a computer layout of the deathstar.
"What's this?" said Leia, pointing at a green dot.
"That's Vader's inner sanctum, where he keeps all his secret stuff.
"Vader gets porno mags?" said Han.
"What's this?" Leia inquires, pointing at a red dot.
"That's ketchup, from my lunch."
"So what's this I hear about Vader being a vampire?"
"I am already on it." said a familiar face. Buffy in Bounty Hunter Outfit.
In the Inner Sanctum of Darth Vader, he sits atop his throne,
puffing a breathalizer.
"Blah-blah-blah, I (inhales) vant to suck your (inhales) b..."
"Not thanks, Master Vader." said the Capatain.
"E-hem. (inhales) call me Count Vadula. (inhales)
"Destroy them (inhales)...the rebels (inhales) now !
"Not on my watch !" said Buffy, scaring the stuffing out of you with that oh-so-sudden
jump outta nowhere type attack stuff.
"Vat, chusay?" said Count Vadula
"I said, 'Not on my watch !'"
"No (inhales) Buffy (inhales) I am your...."
"Nope. Not my father, or my mother, or anything in relation to me. "
"Accually (inhales) I am your chiropracter 's diatiction 's stepson 's uncle 's
pet cat 's nephew 's lawyer 's uncle, twice removed."
"That's scary." she replied. She drew a wooden stake.
"This may be a long, long time ago, but use a real weapon." said Vader.
"I don't get that at all." said the captain. "If it's a long time ago, why do we have
lasers, space ships, lightsabers, and interstellar teleportation gigaflux equailibrium!!!!!"
Buffy throws the stake and nails the captain in the heart.
"Good shot." said Vader.
Buffy drew a lightsaber and went head to head with Vader, er, Vadula.
Finally, Vader stopped. He became a bat and flew out the window.
He quickly realized that their is no oxygen in outerspace, and died.
All of the sudden an evil cackle of a demon-vampire-creature came echoing through the halls.
"Mesa called Jarjar Binks !" it screamed.
"But you aren't in The Empire Strikes Back" said Buffy.
"Sosa-what. Kees me fuzzy brown gungan butt."
Jarjar's eyes turned red, and wings bursted from his back. He sprouted fangs and
flew at Buffy. She took her lightsaber and gave him the worst darn enema ever, as if they
didn't sting like heck at first, with a lightsaber. OUCH !
Afterwards, Buffy went to Dagobah to find Yoda and learn more of the Jedi way.
THE END
Next Time: What will happen if Terrence and Phillip get shot?
Will the kids' counciling under the Old Batman help out? It's up to
Cartman to stop Satan and The Joker from destroying earth in
the newest thriller, CART-MAN BEYOND ! (na na na na na na na na Cartman)