OPEN ARMS TO HOLD HER WITH "2"
BY
MELINDA G. LIGHT
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DISCLAIMER: Lee and Amanda belong to WB and Shoot the Moon Productions. How I wished they were mine though. I'm only borrowing them to provide some entertainment in the hum drum life of ours.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a warning. The following story might cause you to be angry, sad, fearful, and then happy. I'd like to thank Ashley (SerendipityAEY) and Maria (gmaran) for the excellent help they gave me with this story.
TIMEFRAME: Third season before Amanda and Lee started dating and their first kiss.
RATING: PG-13 for brief description of nonconsensual sex
FEEDBACK: Yes.
ARCHIVE: Yes, I would like to see it archived. Just let me know where.
SUMMARY: A continuation of "Open Arms to Hold Her With". Amanda and Lee admit they are best friends.
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Lee's apartment, 5:00 p.m. on Monday:
"Billy, I don't know what to do. She's not acting like Amanda. I've never seen her break down like this. There is more to this than what happened this morning. There has to be," Lee told Billy over the telephone. Lee listened for just a minute, "No, she is still asleep."
All of a sudden, Lee heard a scream from his bedroom. He dropped the telephone and ran to Amanda. She was sitting back against the headboard, staring in front of her.
"Please no, no! Not again! Help me, please! NO!" Amanda went on saying this repeatedly.
Lee crossed the room and tried to wake her up but she started screaming and hitting him. Now, Lee became more worried because he'd never known Amanda to be violent.
"No! Please don't do this to me! Please let me go! Help me!" Amanda yelled at him.
"Amanda, you need to wake up. You're alright. I won't let anything happen to you. Wake up." Lee shook her gently.
Amanda started waking up and seemed slightly disoriented as she looked around her. She finally noticed Lee and realized where she was.
Lee watched Amanda as she slowly started to relax. He suddenly recalled what Amanda had said when she was screaming. "I've a feeling that I just discovered a piece of the puzzle."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lee asked. While he waited for her answer, he studied her eyes. Finding pain and fear he moved a little closer to her, offering her a shoulder if she needed it.
Slowly Amanda said, "I don't know if I can. It hurts to even think about it."
"Just take your time. I'm here if you need me." Lee said. "Would you like some coffee and something to eat?"
"That would be nice." Amanda whispered as she got out of bed.
Lee had stood up when Amanda started to move. He took her hand and led her to the bathroom. He found her a towel and washcloth, and said, "While you get cleaned up I'll go see about fixing us some dinner. Would you like me to see if I can find you something to wear?"
Amanda just nodded and smiled meekly at him.
Lee left her in the bathroom, and searched through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt and pants that he thought might work. Laying them on the bed, he went to the door of the bathroom, and yelled through the door, "I left you some clothes on the bed." He headed to the kitchen, and as he stepped through the door of the bedroom, he saw the telephone off the hook. Going to hang it up, he wondered how much of what happened, Billy heard. "I'll call him back later."
Thirty minutes later:
Lee was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches to dinner when he realized he wasn't alone. He turned around, and saw Amanda standing at the door. She looked so tiny in his clothes.
Smiling at her he asked, "Are you ready to eat? I hope you don't mind peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I also heated up some tomato soup. It was all I had that was eatable."
Amanda smiled sweetly at him and answered, "I don't mind a bit. In fact, I'm so hungry right now, I could probably eat some of the penicillin you used to have growing here."
Lee picked up the tray he'd put everything on and headed to the living room. He sat it down on the coffee table and said, "I thought we would be more comfortable sitting here."
"That's fine, Lee." Amanda said as she joined him on the couch.
They quietly started eating. Hardly saying anything during the meal, Lee took the opportunity to study Amanda. She was still a little upset and he wished that she would let him help her. However, he knew he couldn't rush her, besides, how did he know he could help her? All he knew was that he had to try.
As they finished eating, Lee noticed Amanda had peanut butter on the side of her mouth. He slowly reached up his hand and, with his napkin, wiped it away. All of a sudden, Lee felt this urge so powerful that it scared him. Realizing he wanted to kiss her, he stood up and started picking up the dishes.
Just as Lee reached out to take Amanda's plate, she grabbed his hand. Lee looked down into her eyes, and saw tears. Slowly he sat down and pulled her to him.
"Amanda, are you sure you don't want to talk? I consider you my best friend and I want to help if I can." Lee whispered in her ear.
Amanda pulled back and looked in Lee's eyes. She saw that Lee was serious in wanting to help her.
"Lee, you're my best friend, too. I just don't know how to tell you." Amanda said.
"Just start at the beginning. Take it one step at a time." Lee answered. He watched as Amanda pulled away and sat back against the couch.
Amanda closed her eyes as she started speaking.
"It happened when I was 15 years old. I was a cheerleader in high school." She took a deep breath, "Well, one night, after an away game, I'd discovered that Debbie Ann hadn't shown up for the game, and she was supposed to have been my ride. I discovered the next day that she and her mother ended up going out of town for the weekend, on a family emergency. There wasn't any way of getting a hold of my parents, because they had gone out to dinner with my aunt and didn't tell me where they had planned on eating." Amanda laid her head on the back of the couch, "I was talking to one of the other cheerleaders, when a guy from the football team, named Billy Winston, offered to take me home. Now, he'd given Debbie Ann and I a ride home several times before, so, I didn't think it unusual when he'd offered. He also lived just down the street from me at the time." Amanda paused as she felt Lee move closer to her. "As he was walking me to the car, all of a sudden he grabbed me, and pulled me into the janitorial closet that was located behind the refreshment stand. It was hidden away so none of the kids would be tempted to go in there." Amanda paused again and shivered. Still keeping her eyes closed, she continued when she felt Lee take her hand in both of his. "There was a crowd outside, but unless the door was open or you were in there, no one would have been able to here us. The walls were made out of brick and had a thick insulation. He started grabbing me and tearing my clothes. When I screamed and slapped him, he slapped me back so hard that it caused me to hit my head against the wall. The next thing I knew I was coming to and he was gone. I got up, slowly made my way out of the closet and to the front of the refreshment stand. That was when I realized I was alone in the stadium."
Amanda opened her eyes and stared ahead for a few minutes. "I made it to the pay phone, and called my mother. I remember the first words out of her mouth were "Why aren't you home It's 12:30 in the morning." "She and Daddy came, picked me up, and told me that they were taking me to the hospital. All the way there, she kept trying to calm me down. It was at the hospital that we discovered all he had done to me. He'd left nothing untouched. My dad hardly said two words the whole time, but I knew he was upset." Tears started falling down her face, as she said, "They were able to lift some DNA samples, from my body, but it was still my word against his. Billy kept saying that I came on to him. Then there was another girl, Stephanie Minx, that was attacked by him. She came forward, also."
Looking at Lee, she whispered, "When he found out that he had been caught, he hung himself. We found out later, by way of the suicide letter, that he had done what he had done, because his father constantly did the same thing to his mother. He thought that was how he was supposed to act."
Pulling her hand away, she stood up, and moved to look out the window. "When I was attacked this morning, the memory of his face and what had happened came to the surface. Seeing it made me feel like I was 15 again, and I didn't know what to do. The only thing that kept me from freezing up was Francine. She reminded me that I didn't have to be the victim that I could fight back. When it was all over, I just lost it. The memory hit me full force. I didn't want to break down, but I couldn't stop myself." Amanda finished. She just stood there, staring outside. "Back then I refused to go for counseling, because I thought that meant that I was weak. For quite a while, I blamed myself for what he did, both the attack and his death. After a while, I pushed it back inside me and went on with living. I refused to let it defeat me, but I've just realized today, when I was thinking in the shower, that I had never really dealt with it. That's the reason for what happened this morning. Tomorrow morning I'm going to go see the agency doctor. As for going to see the medical doctor this morning, there was nothing he could have done. I just have a few bruises. The guy ended up with worse injuries." She smiled weakly at this last sentence.
Lee slowly got up and moved to stand behind her. He realized Amanda was watching him by way of the window. As he softly and hesitantly placed his hands on her shoulders he said, "Amanda, after what you've told me, you had every right to break down. No one can be strong all the time. You were the one that taught me that. I'd be the first to tell you that memories can be very painful. For example, when you helped me with Dorothy. Remember? It doesn't mean that you're less than what you are." Slowly he turned her around to face him. "The best thing you can do is remember not to let the bad memories defeat you, but let the good ones help you become a better person. What happened back then and this morning were not your fault."
Amanda looked up at him as he said this. She slowly laid her hand on his cheek. "What did I do to deserve a friend like you?" she asked.
"By just being you. And as I said last night, these arms are always open to you." Lee smiled at her and thought, "Amanda, I hope someday you want more."
"As are mine for you." Amanda said as she gave Lee a hug.
Amanda turned back around to the window, and leaned back against Lee as he wrapped his arms around her. They stood that way as they thought about the future.
The end.