Author's notes: Look! I'm back after my loooong hiatus! ^_^; Hop on Napster and get this song- it's funny. It's called Gay and it's by Stephen Lynch, and I can definitely see A disgruntled Wufei or Heero singing it while Duo hits on him.
(The scene opens with Duo and Wufei sitting in a karaoke bar. Both are more than a little drunk. Wufei's giggling like a six-year-old, and Duo's draped over him in a fashion that's a little past friendly.)
Wufei: *still giggling* Uh…Duo? Get off me, I'm ticklish.
Duo: *sweatdrops and starts giggling as well* You're ticklish? That's funny! *starts tickling Wufei*
Wufei: Hee hee, Max- *gasp* well, stappit! *giggle*
Duo: *grinning* OK! *licks Wufei's ear*
Wufei: *big eyes* D- Maxwell- what are you *choke* doing?
Duo: Whaddya think?
*suddenly music starts playing from the karaoke machine for no apparent reason*
Wufei: Here we are, dear old friend
You and I, drunk again
(Duo giggles some more, and holds up his whiskey bottle)
Wufei: Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head
(The other Gundam pilots, through a random plothole the size of Texas- please do not step in the plotholes- appear in the background)
Heero: *nodding* Yeah, I think it has gone to your head. You're giggling and not killing Duo when he tries to hit on you.
(Quatre and Trowa are busy making out for no particular reason and don't comment.)
Wufei: But if I were gay, I would give you my heart
And if I were gay you'd be my work of art
And if I were gay we would swim in romance
But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants
(Duo blinks and chooses not to move his hand from its current location. Between Quatre and Trowa on one side, and Duo hitting on Wufei on the other, Heero now has a nosebleed and is desperately trying to pretend otherwise.)
Wufei: It's not that I don't care (I do)
Heero: *blink blink* *stuffs a Kleenex up his nose* You do?
Quatre: *pauses for just long enough to comment* Awwwww…
Wufei: I just don't see myself in you
Another time, another scene
I'd be right behind you, if you know what I mean
(Heero's Kleenex is now saturated, and he desperately pulls another one from spandex space. Duo is not the slightest bit discouraged and is continuing to come on to Wufei.)
Wufei: And if I were gay, I would give you my soul
And if I were gay, I would give you my (w)hole…being
And if I were gay, we would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay, so please stop cupping my…hand
(There is a definite crack in Wufei's voice now, and his breathing sounds a little strained. Heero looks like he's pondering, but what comes out of his mouth next is somewhat unexpected.)
Heero: Dammit, Wufei, if you don't screw him, I will!
(Duo looks pretty pleased with himself)
Wufei: We've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate, with your fist
(Quatre and Trowa pause to give Wufei strange looks. He shrugs, as if to say, "It's in the lyrics, and I didn't write them.")
Wufei: But you have opened brand new doors
Get over here and drop your drawers!!!
(Wufei proceeds to drag Duo by his braid in the direction of the door. He hears a thump behind him, and turns around to find Heero passed out, bleeding all over the floor. He shrugs, turning around and heading towards Heero. He slings Heero over his shoulder and drags Duo back the other way, heading, presumably, to his car.)
~Owari~
Well, was that not silly. ^^; Comments, please!
(The scene opens with Duo and Wufei sitting in a karaoke bar. Both are more than a little drunk. Wufei's giggling like a six-year-old, and Duo's draped over him in a fashion that's a little past friendly.)
Wufei: *still giggling* Uh…Duo? Get off me, I'm ticklish.
Duo: *sweatdrops and starts giggling as well* You're ticklish? That's funny! *starts tickling Wufei*
Wufei: Hee hee, Max- *gasp* well, stappit! *giggle*
Duo: *grinning* OK! *licks Wufei's ear*
Wufei: *big eyes* D- Maxwell- what are you *choke* doing?
Duo: Whaddya think?
*suddenly music starts playing from the karaoke machine for no apparent reason*
Wufei: Here we are, dear old friend
You and I, drunk again
(Duo giggles some more, and holds up his whiskey bottle)
Wufei: Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head
(The other Gundam pilots, through a random plothole the size of Texas- please do not step in the plotholes- appear in the background)
Heero: *nodding* Yeah, I think it has gone to your head. You're giggling and not killing Duo when he tries to hit on you.
(Quatre and Trowa are busy making out for no particular reason and don't comment.)
Wufei: But if I were gay, I would give you my heart
And if I were gay you'd be my work of art
And if I were gay we would swim in romance
But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants
(Duo blinks and chooses not to move his hand from its current location. Between Quatre and Trowa on one side, and Duo hitting on Wufei on the other, Heero now has a nosebleed and is desperately trying to pretend otherwise.)
Wufei: It's not that I don't care (I do)
Heero: *blink blink* *stuffs a Kleenex up his nose* You do?
Quatre: *pauses for just long enough to comment* Awwwww…
Wufei: I just don't see myself in you
Another time, another scene
I'd be right behind you, if you know what I mean
(Heero's Kleenex is now saturated, and he desperately pulls another one from spandex space. Duo is not the slightest bit discouraged and is continuing to come on to Wufei.)
Wufei: And if I were gay, I would give you my soul
And if I were gay, I would give you my (w)hole…being
And if I were gay, we would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay, so please stop cupping my…hand
(There is a definite crack in Wufei's voice now, and his breathing sounds a little strained. Heero looks like he's pondering, but what comes out of his mouth next is somewhat unexpected.)
Heero: Dammit, Wufei, if you don't screw him, I will!
(Duo looks pretty pleased with himself)
Wufei: We've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate, with your fist
(Quatre and Trowa pause to give Wufei strange looks. He shrugs, as if to say, "It's in the lyrics, and I didn't write them.")
Wufei: But you have opened brand new doors
Get over here and drop your drawers!!!
(Wufei proceeds to drag Duo by his braid in the direction of the door. He hears a thump behind him, and turns around to find Heero passed out, bleeding all over the floor. He shrugs, turning around and heading towards Heero. He slings Heero over his shoulder and drags Duo back the other way, heading, presumably, to his car.)
~Owari~
Well, was that not silly. ^^; Comments, please!