"Duo?" Quatre was puzzled by his friend's appearance.
"Tell me, Quatre! What did you mean?" Duo's voice demanded an immediate response. "What were you talking about?"
Quatre turned to face Duo. "Well, you seem rather eager to talk to me about a subject you just discarded me for bringing up." He smiled softly.
"Man, Quatre, you've gotta tell me what you meant!"
"Duo…" Quatre sighed. "It's not as simple as you're probably hoping." He turned to look out his balcony window again.
"Damn it, Quatre…talk to me!"
Quatre sighed deeply again. "I shouldn't have said anything." Duo stepped brusquely toward Quatre, clearly becoming more than little fractious.
Quatre turned back around and put his hands up in surrender, smiling kindly again. "Just relax, Duo. Take a seat." Duo sat down gruffly, but his attitude didn't take any visible turn for the better yet.
"Alright," Quatre began. "I'll try to make this brief." Duo grunted. "Relena's been…well, under some really heavy tension lately. You know for yourself what's going on. Anyway, it's ruining her, Duo. I mean, you know Relena. She is, I suppose, a considerably strong-willed girl. You wouldn't normally expect a person like that to cry in public. But she's being torn apart by this, Duo. For the past five months this wedding has been in the works, and the public has known about it for just over a month. She's put any extra energy and time she has into this wedding. She's given the past five months of her life to it, Duo.
"Then Christmas came. Christmas is intended to be a cheerful time. But Relena's was ruined. Duo, if you could have seen her after she left the table…when I followed her to her room and saw her weeping into her pillow, I was very angry with Heero. He had no right to treat her like that. I thought that maybe he was just under a lot of stress lately too. I talked with Relena a little bit, and I explained to her that Heero probably didn't mean what he said.
"But even though he tried to act sorry, he didn't make any attempt to rectify his gaffe. He avoided her the rest of Christmas, and even though she tried to act like she was all right, I could tell she was really hurt by his cold-shoulder treatment."
"Damn, Quatre, get on with it!"
"Fine. Later in the night I went to visit her again, and she was crying to herself. When I came in the room she tried to stop and cover it up, of course. I told her she cou…"
Duo advanced toward Quatre.
"Alright, alright!" Quatre continued. "She told me everything. She said it wasn't the first time that Heero had talked to her about being sick of the wedding. She told me she was quite frightened that she just wasn't good enough for him anymore. She said she was afraid that he might choose not to marry her."
"Damn!" Duo slammed his fist against Quatre's floor. "She's a hundred times what that bastard deserves! If he ever says anything to her about that again, I swear I'll put him in the hospital!"
"Duo! You shouldn't be so violent!"
"You said it yourself, Quatre! He's tearing her apart! I can't let him do that!"
"That's what I mean, Duo."
"Huh?"
"She's going to need you if he does." Quatre once again averted his face.
"Oh…Quatre…you know I can't." Quatre didn't respond. He simply turned toward the window again and collapsed back into thought. Duo got up and walked out of the room, finding his way toward a kitchen. He was really thirsty.
I can't, there's no way, especially not after this…but I hate Heero! Man, if I could…
"Been a long day, huh?"
Duo turned toward the voice that had addressed him. "Oh, hey Milliardo. Yeah, It's been kind of crazy, I guess." Having reached the kitchen, Duo grabbed a glass and filled it with ice water.
"I'll bet. This probably hasn't ever happened to you before. Relena has to put up with this often. Well, nothing this bad, you know, but crap from the media, or whatever."
Duo turned toward Milliardo with a knowing glance. Finally, there was something he could understand in all this chaos. "You're worried about her, huh?" Duo had felt the same feeling many times before with the kids back at the church on L2. Kids with no living parents were naturally rougher and tougher, and sometimes even calloused from tragedies in their past. But the kids back on L2 were good kids, and Relena was perfect. Duo knew that fraternal safeguarding instinct that Milliardo was feeling right now, and he didn't blame him one bit.
"What can I say?" Milliardo shrugged. "She's all I've got, Duo, and sometimes it's not easy seeing her miserable."
"Why the hell do you let Heero do what he does to her?" Duo spat the question out in contempt of Heero, but the tone was dangerously near sounding accusatory.
"I'm going to let her make her own decisions," Milliardo answered.
"Hey, what the hell? She's screwing herself over – I'll bet Heero's having his fun doing that too – and you should damn well do something about it! How can you just stand around while some arrogant son-of-a-bitch is blowing your sister's life to hell? Damnit, Milliardo! I expect more than that of you!"
Milliardo put up his hands in defence. "I can't do anything about it. I've tried, and I just can't do it. I don't want to do something that'll make her any worse. Losing Heero would do that to her."
"You're such a wuss. You've gotta do something." An awkward silence followed Duo's indictment. Duo recalled he had a glass of water in his hand and took a drink from it, all the time his eyes fixed on Milliardo's in a glare full of blame.
Finally, Milliardo surprisingly averted his eyes from Duo's and broke the silence. "If you're so sure it can be fixed, why don't you fix it?"
"Er…" Milliardo walked away before Duo could finish, but he gave Duo one final piece of advice.
"Think about it, Duo. You may be able to fill the void."
Fill the void…? Her void? Me? Hell no. I'll never be able to fill her void. And she couldn't fill mine, either. Duo repeated his last assertion to himself, making himself believe it, even though he knew she would be able to ease his emotional pain in an instant and bring him joyful contentment for the rest of his life.
Duo tossed the remaining contents of his cup down the drain and retired to his room. The rest of the day, he stayed in his room. He did not come out for dinner. He did not come out to say good night. He remained in his room, musing over the terrible events of the day. Already, just after one day, he was feeling like crap. He wordlessly praised Relena's doggedness, wondering what kind of a toll life was extorting from her.
He did not sleep well that night. He stared at the dark ceiling and the shadows periodically cast upon it by late-night commuters in their automobiles. He noiselessly chucked to himself, wondering if they were as tired as he wished to be. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not sleep, could not dream. He could only think. And he was doing quite a bit of it.
First, he thought of what life for him might be like with Relena. He imagined her lying on his bed, snuggled up next to him. He knew then he would sleep peacefully. He knew when he woke up in the morning and the first thing he saw was her radiant face, he would at last be able to start his day pleasantly. And even though he tried not too, he imagined himself, as her husband, being able to enjoy everything that perfect body had to offer.
But then, as must always follow fancies of such impossible pleasantries, distressing thoughts came to his mind as he thought of the many reasons why he could never hope to have Relena as his own.
The primary reason was a cruel-hearted man that he would once have called friend. She was this man's, not his own, and he could never change that. No matter how hurtful he was, no matter how awkward he made her feel, no matter how awful he made her out to be, she would keep coming back to him. Because she needed him. She needed someone to love her. But Heero Yuy didn't seem to anymore. And that's why she wanted him all the more.
And of course, there was the media. Duo realised that, if he were to marry Relena, it would only substantiate rumours of her fictitious extramarital affair with him. The media would surreptitiously make her out to be a shameless whore, and put the character of a betrayed, faithful lover on Heero. And Duo would never live to see that.
But even as he was beginning to picture her rejecting him if he were to offer, saying that he was too poor, not good-looking enough, manner-less, and whatnot, the peaceful lull of the night finally began to invite sleep, and his lids grew heavy. His last thought was a simple one: tomorrow, he would confront Heero. He would never hurt Relena again.