What can I give her? What do I hope to mean to her? I'm going to lose her. But I won't. I won't lose her. I can't lose her. Because I never had her.
Duo was lying on the grass. Relena was lying beside him. Maybe he was holding her. But he didn't know. All he knew was that he saw Heero's face in the clouds. And he should never have blinked.
Heero Yuy's indignant face appeared above his. "Having fun?" is asked. But the voice was not normal.
It was a mixture of rancour, vengeance, castigation, and reality. And the intent to kill. But maybe that was just appropriated by the circumstances.
Duo blinked again. A gun had spontaneously materialised in Heero's hands.
"Mine."
I know!
Duo sat up abruptly. Relena did the same. But it was too bad for her. She fell back down on the grass, her blood
staining it red. Does blood kill the
grass? Or does it nurture it?
Duo tried to shut his eyes, block out the terror, but they were already shut. He heard another gunshot. It might have been aimed anywhere – the target's significance was lost in a final passionate instant of dread before Duo awoke, covered in sweat.
This had been his second nightmare of the night. And I damn well deserve it. He thought it must have been God's punishment, or perhaps a direct consequence of his well-deserved guilt.
But no one knows! No one but me, and Relena. And God too. Duo hopped out of bed and walked toward the bathroom adjacent to his quarters. Never in his life could he recall a time that he had felt guiltier than he did now. He had confessed romantic feelings for his friend's fiancée, and she, in a passionate amalgamation of the many different emotions she was exposed to, had told him that he loved him too. But it couldn't be true. Now he was on the verge of ruining his a particularly important wedding too long in the making.
But maybe it wasn't entirely his fault. Heero, too, had precipitated the inevitable confrontation (that had, in turned, caused the exchange of emotions between Duo and Relena) with his unacceptable treatment of his fiancée. His behaviour indeed must also have contributed to the possible, and even plausible, termination of the engagement.
Yes, it was Heero's fault!
Duo opened the water faucet and filled a cup with the cold stuff. Who am I kidding? I took advantage of her when she needed some comfort. It's simple, and it's my fault. He emptied the cup, set it back down on the counter, and returned to his bed, his mind teeming with thoughts and questions. He would try to get some sleep that night, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully. Too much had happened in one week. Anyway, I've got to fix this whole mess…
Sometime later, Duo woke up to the unusual feeling of hands running through his hair. Startled, he sat up abruptly, still only half-awake, only to be greeted with a tender "Good morning, sweetie" from his violator. She then leaned forward, brushed the bangs out of his eyes, and kissed him softly.
"Oh, morning, Relena," he replied, smiling.
"I never got a chance to thank you for yesterday. I just thought I would now."
Man, I've gotta stop this before it goes any further! Come on, Maxwell, you're gonna have to fix this. He opened his mouth with the intent of saying, "Well, I shouldn't have done it. You're Heero's. I think it'd be best if we pretend the whole thing never happened," but instead, he said, "Hey, no problem! That's what friends are for, right? Anytime you need someone to talk to, just come and find me."
He was privately a bit disappointed at acknowledging that he was simply a second choice, a rebound opportunity, but he was even more upset that he had not said what he had wanted.
Relena looked slightly upset herself. "Drop the act, Duo."
Eh? How can she know? But maybe it's better this way.
She held his gaze with her eyes. "It was more than that. We both know it was more than that. Please don't take that away from me."
Aw. Damn. "Yeah, I guess it was."
A big smile lit Relena's face, and she kissed Duo again. "Thanks again. Let's go get some breakfast."
Duo hopped out of his bed. "Sure, go on down," he replied. "I'll be right there after I get tidied up."
Relena nodded and walked out of Duo's room. Duo spent the next few minutes running through his daily morning routine: washing his face, brushing his teeth, doing his hair, getting dressed, and then he followed out of his room.
"She seems awfully chipper this morning."
Duo froze. Heero. He turned to see Heero leaning against the wall, staring at him.
"Is there a particular reason that my fiancée is paying you visits early in the morning?" Duo really couldn't blame him for being mad. Hell, he'd be mad himself if his fiancée was going to see some other guy early in the morning. Of course, he'd never treat his fiancée like Heero treats Relena. "Or," Heero continued, "Was she there all night?"
Duo was furious. "I'm not taking that crap."
Heero turned his face away from Duo's and chuckled. "So you want a repeat? I'll be glad to indulge."
"Screw you."
"Hn. I wish she would. But you'll have to tell me how she was." Heero looked up with a wicked smile.
Fine. Be like that. "I respect her, Heero. Don't know about you."
"You're losing, Maxwell. If I were you, I'd lay off. I mean…what if the public found out Relena was sleeping around with a crooked priest from the colonies? That would be a disaster. And…what would her brother think?"
Duo smiled. "You don't wanna know the answer to that, Heero."
"Hn. Just warning you, sweetie." Heero hissed out that last word, but slowly, as if savouring the taste, wanting to feel it for every lasting moment. He stood up and walked past Duo, brushing his shoulder with his own in a gesture of contempt.
Duo remained in the hall for a few
more moments, deliberating on Heero's words, and despising him all the
more. He would stoop so low as to publicly humiliate his fiancée? And how can he suggest that we're sleeping
together?
So with those questions in mind, he headed down toward the dining room.
Reaching his destination, Duo saw that he was, again, the last one to the table. Making sure to avoid eye contact with Relena, he quietly took a seat.
The breakfast was lively. Wu Fei was having a great time telling lame groaners at the table and acting as though they were absolute side-splitters. But it was no good time for Duo. I guess I just get one forbidden day. But she isn't mine anyway. What can I say?
After breakfast, the group broke up to do their separate things.
Wu Fei took it upon himself to challenge Quatre to a tennis rematch. Quatre, knowing he had nothing to fear from his friend, gladly accepted. Trowa tagged along. Duo couldn't blame him; it looked to be one hell of a good laugh. Milliardo and Ms. Noin retired to begin a day's work. That left Duo, Heero, and Relena.
Duo noticed Relena get up from her chair and advance toward him. Well, I guess I'd better tell her. Duo was reluctant to put such a sudden end to his prospective relationship with Relena, but he knew he had to do so before Heero did something drastic. He readied himself as she was on her way over. But she was intercepted by Heero.
"Relena." He said. Nothing more than said. There was no emotion in his voice. None positive, none negative. Just a word uttered, impassive.
She turned to him, clearly surprised when he placed his hand on her shoulder. She had been essentially oblivious of him all morning. "What, Heero?" she asked urgently, plainly wanting to be rid of him.
"Why don't you spend today with me?" There was no love in Heero's voice, nor was there any affection. Duo thought, however, he could trace a sort or a devious undertone.
"Heero! No way, not after what you did! You can't just expect me to forget that! You humiliated me in front of the entire world!"
"Relena, look. It's been tough lately, and I've been saying some things I don't mean."
You lying bastard…
"Heero!" Relena turned away. "You really hurt me. And you didn't even apologise."
"Alright. If it's what you want, I'm sorry. But come on. Maybe all we need to do is spend some time together. We've fought in the past, and it's all gone over. Spend today with me, and we'll see how everything turns out." Heero's voice was falsely patient.
"I don't know," she replied rather timidly. "Maybe not today, Heero. I don't know if I'm ready yet. Maybe tomorrow. I need to spend today alone."
"Is that really what you're planning to do?" Heero's voice was slightly irritated now, and Relena cringed a little. "You've been acting pretty weird lately. Maybe there's something you need to tell me."
"No!" she nearly yelled back. Her voice calmed down, and she repeated: "No." Here she turned back toward him. "There's nothing."
Heero sneered. "You can't keep anything from me, Relena. It pains me that you even try. After everything that I do for you…"
"What do you do for me?" Relena interrupted, on the verge of tears. "Talk about breaking off our engagement? Make me look like a fool on national television? Treat me like your whore? No, you don't do much for me at all, Heero! There are other people who can treat me a whole lot better!" She at once realised her mistake, but she was so entirely upset at this point that she didn't care.
"Really?" Heero asked, feigning surprise. "Like who?"
Relena was crying now. "What do you care? What do you care about me?"
He ignored her question. "How about…" he pointed an accusatory finger in Duo's direction "…Duo?"
Duo jumped out of his seat. "You son-of-a-bitch!" He wanted to run over to Relena and warn her to stop, but he knew what she was going to do.
"Yes! Yeah, I guess so, Heero!" She had admitted it.
"Hn. Just wondering, that's all. Well, good day to you both then. Duo?" He stared at Duo with odious eyes. "Have fun with my fiancée. I guess today she's your whore."
And he walked out, leaving Duo with a million thoughts in his head.