Tenchi Muyo! Out of Order

by EmpressGalaxia

A new series of Tenchi Muyo! However, expect the unexpected as family ties, relationships, and professions are traded.

Tenchi Muyo! Out of Order

A Fanfic by EmpressGalaxia

Episode 01: A Normal Life

I own the ideas of this series. That's it. Dammit. But you have to admit, it's an original idea. Well, no you don't have to. But I'd appreciate it. Tenchi and Co. are owned by Pioneer/AIC I believe. Not me. Poo.

This fic was spawned after a discussion with my boyfriend about the various Tenchi series, and the differences therein. So, thankee, Rob, and maybe I'll bake (buy at the store) cookies for you.

The young officer was out of breath when he reached the commissioner's office. He burst through the door and ran to his boss' desk. "Sir...they caught her," he gasped.

"Collins, sit down and tell me that again, please," the policewoman calmly replied. "And don't call me 'Sir'."

Collins did as he was told and repeated, "S-Ma'am, they have caught her."

"I heard that much, Collins. Who have they caught?"

Collins' eyes flashed left and right. "Her, ma'am. The number one criminal in the galaxy. She was caught for a traffic ticket."

"A traffic citation?" the commissioner laughed loudly. "They're bringing her to holding, I assume?"

Collins nodded. "They're in the elevator now."

The commissioner lifted her tall frame from her chair. "This I have to see!"

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The prisoner was flanked by two guards. She stood quietly, cuffs around her wrists and ankles. The officers smiled smugly, proud that they had been the rookies to capture this elusive woman. She had refused to speak to them, and didn't even look either in the eyes. She stared at her feet, her face shrouded by her bangs and hair. Her first wish was that this damned elevator music would stop.

"You sure have been quiet, sweetheart," one of them said to her. She refused to say anything back. "You know, you're a cute little thing," he continued, running one of his fingers down her cheek and pulling on one of the long hairs that hung down the side of her face. "I bet you could get off lightly if you did us some favours..."

"Lay off it, Johnson," the other guard said. "You can't trust her not to bite your face off, you know."

"Keep outta this, Jenkins," the first replied. "So, sweet stuff, whaddya say, huh?"

The pirate looked at the floor, but now her mouth was moving.

"What are you sayin'?" Johnson bent down to try to hear her.

She whispered, "5...4...3...2.." she took a step backwards, "1!"

The elevator screeched to a halt and the guards looked jarred. The pirate did not. A blond woman burst through the roof, wielding a bag, and landing at the exact spot the prisoner had been. She threw something to the captive, then put on a mask before throwing down a smoke bomb. Moments later, both women were on the roof of the elevator, scaling the shaft.

When they reached the roof of the police headquarters, the two women removed their gas masks. The space pirate spoke first. "Well, Mihoshi, you were right on time. How odd."

Mihoshi blushed and smiled brightly. "Thanks, Aeka! I'm glad I finally did something right!"

"Well, we shan't stand here all day and discuss this; where's our escape ship?"

Mihoshi was confused. "'Escape ship'?"

The pirate's eyes widened. "Mihoshi, you did arrive in a ship that would take us away from here, am I correct?"

The blond blushed again. "Um, actually, I sort of stowed away on another ship. I didn't think about flying something here. I guess that's why you're the famous one!"

Aeka just stared. After a pause, she spoke. "All right, then..." she said, turning her attention to the lot of Galaxy Police ships, "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo!" She pointed to a large red ship, and the two women made their way to the craft.

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"So let me get this straight," the Princess said to the image on the screen before her, "not only did that criminal escape, but she stole one of your most powerful crafts, too?"

The young GP officer on the other end gulped, making her blue pigtails bounce. "Well, Princess Kiyone, you see, um, her partner got two of our guards, and while we searched the building for them, that'swhentheywereintheparkinglotstealingaship."

Kiyone shook her head. "You people are incompetent. I am going to search for the pirate Aeka myself, and trust me when I say that if I catch her, she will be killed on the spot!" Kiyone ended the communication.

"What's the matter, sis?" the younger princess asked, stepping out from the shadows on the Juraian ship.

Kiyone shook her head and sighed. "Washu..."

"Little Washu."

"I will not call you that."

"Then I won't help you catch Aeka."

"Little Washu, how are you going to help me catch Aeka, hm?"

"Why, dear sister, you have on your side the greatest scientific mind in the galaxy!"

"You keep telling me things like that, Washu, but the only thing you seem to invent are those little dolls of yours."

The red head pouted. "Fine. You just wait and see." She opened a large pink star behind her and strode through it.

Kiyone shook her head. "I'll catch her before those idiot police do. No one robs the Jurai Royal Bank and gets away with it. I'm coming for you, Aeka."

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"Main screen turn on," Princess Washu announced in her room, summoning a holo-keyboard. "Let's see..." she muttered to herself, fingers flying across the keys. "If the ship was found stolen ten minutes ago, and they are trying to escape as quickly as they can, the radius of any possible location is..."

She studied the screen. "If they go in that direction, they'll be headed directly for the Logi galaxy, but if they head that way, they'll be in the Sol system." Washu turned up her nose. What a dismal, backward place. Why would anyone want to hide out there? She smiled when she answered her own question. "...because who would want to follow you? I am a genius! Washu A, Washu B!" Two miniature dolls resembling their creator appeared at her sides. "Direct the ship towards the Sol system! We'll catch them, and then I'll show my sister who's smarter!" Washu laughed maniacally as the Jurai ship lurched, spun around, and charged at full speed toward the Sol system.

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"Follow the snotty little princess," Ryoko ordered. The police commissioner hadn't gotten her job by letting others invade on her territory, and this kid wasn't about to take the glory of Aeka's arrest away from her.

Sasami looked up at her boss. "Why follow her, Ryoko?"

Ryoko smiled at her young apprentice. She may have always asked too many questions, but it was because she was so eager to do everything perfectly. "Well, Sasami, because her ship just changed course. She knows something, and we should follow to find out what that is."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Sasami saluted and changed the GP ship to follow the Juraians.

Ryoko leaned back into her seat. The ship she had taken was cramped, but it was necessary for stealth against Aeka and Mihoshi. They were smart enough to elude anything else. The last thing the pair would expect was a tiny, two-woman craft.

Aeka had been a thorn in Ryoko's side ever since she had done her first crime. She was the last person anyone would expect to be a criminal: a beautiful, graceful young woman with purple hair framing a sweet face. This was why Aeka was so deadly. She could walk up to a bank window, wink at the male teller, then lean in and poke a small gun in his ribs asking nicely for all their money. Her partner was the same. Mihoshi was tall, blonde, tan, and dangerous. However, she was more dangerous due to her mishaps than her criminal exploits, but most of these mishaps worked in Aeka's favour, hence their partnership.

Ryoko had "almost caught" Aeka so many times, she had lost count. The space pirate had continually eluded the commissioner, and had become the cause of frustration, stress, a stomach ulcer, and many failed relationships. Ryoko's obsession with catching Aeka had ruined any chances for a normal life for the tall, turquoise-haired beauty.

Sasami had few memories of her past, and that one memory was of Aeka. The pirate had almost massacred the planet, pillaging cities everywhere. She couldn't find her family, and she sat crying in the city square. She had heard a noise behind her, and turned to see Aeka holding a pistol in her face. Her eyes were almost inhuman, as if they didn't fit the rest of her. Sasami gulped and closed her eyes, preparing for the shot that would end her life, and it never came.

She opened her eyes to see a Galaxy Policeman shooting at Aeka, battling with her. Sasami ran for cover and watched the fight. At that moment, she decided she wanted to join the GP. She didn't want anyone else to go through this. She would stop it.

The policeman found Sasami on his ship when he returned to headquarters. He didn't have a clue as to what to do with a crying orphan, so he handed her over to the commissioner. When Sasami told Ryoko that she wanted to join the police to stop Aeka from hurting anyone else, Ryoko realised that she had found a perfect apprentice.

Ryoko briefed the girl on everything Aeka: her tragic childhood, her juvenile delinquency, her former partnership with Kagato (another first-class criminal), and her current partnership with Mihoshi. Exploit after exploit had been memorised by both women. Sasami had been with the GP for three years, and living with her adopted mother, Ryoko.

"I just know we'll find her this time, Ryoko!" Sasami exclaimed.

"I know we will, Sasami. Where is she headed?"

Sasami paused, then furrowed her brow. "Well, the Juraian ship that's following them is headed toward...the Sol system."

Ryoko bit her thumbnail. "Then she must know something if she's going there. Hardly a place for a princess. Continue at full speed, Sasami, but don't let them see us."

Sasami nodded and pushed the appropriate buttons.

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"Mihoshi, where exactly are we headed?" Aeka asked, peering out the window of the stolen craft.

"Um, I'm not sure! I pushed a few of these buttons and it took off! It's okay, though, I don't think anyone's followed us out here."

Aeka grimaced. Mihoshi had gotten them lost, but she did have a point. If you were still with Kagato, you wouldn't be lost, she thought. Another voice retorted, If you were still with Kagato, he would have killed you for getting caught. Actually, no. He wouldn't have killed you; he would have almost killed you, just letting you feel the pain. Asshole.

Aeka didn't realise she had tears in her eyes until Mihoshi came in and pointed them out. "Nothing, Mihoshi. I was just looking at that star too much. I assume we're in a system, correct?"

"Why do you think that?"

Aeka shot a look at her partner before pointing out the window. "There's a star, and it obviously has quite a pull if it has all these satellites. Even the satellites have satellites. I wonder where we are..." Aeka's pink orbs drifted over the planets, taking in their beauty. She found herself fixated on a blue-green planet, which appeared to get bigger as she continued to stare. She realised that it wasn't getting bigger, just closer. "Mihoshi..."

"What?"

"If you're standing here with me, who is driving the craft, if I may ask?"

Mihoshi's eyes rolled upwards as she thought about the answer. "I'm driving the ship."

"Not right now; you're here."

Her blue eyes widened. "Oh!" She ran back to the front of the ship, but it was too late. The vessel shook as it was drawn into the atmosphere of the blue sphere. Aeka sped into the control room, to find a confused, crying Mihoshi. "I don't know what to do!"

Aeka pushed her partner out of the way and took the controls. Water. The blue was the presence of water. Aeka scanned through the controls to see where the least populated, water-filled areas of their crash site were. It directed her to a lake in the middle of the mountains. "That will do nicely. Mihoshi, take cover!"

Aeka pushed in landing coordinates, and the women jumped under their seats, waiting to feel the collision.

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"This is horrible. My life is over. Just kill me now."

"Tenchi, it isn't that bad."

"Easy for you to say, Amagasaki. Today, I failed a test, I woke up with a pimple in the middle of my forehead, and when I asked Rei to the dance, she laughed at me. Not just a 'no.' She laughed." Tenchi Masaki, a brown-haired, slightly attractive Japanese teenager picked at the aforementioned spot on his forehead as he anguished the day's events to his friend. He ran his fingers through the hair over his eyes as Amagasaki exited a bathroom stall and washed his hands.

"Look at it this way, buddy. Can the day possibly get any worse?"

Tenchi shot him a sideways glance. "Don't jinx it for me."

"Oh, come on. We have one more class left in the day, and then you can go home and relax. Everything will be fine for the rest of the day. Right?"

He sighed. "I suppose. Nothing else bad can happen today."

Amagasaki threw a burly arm over Tenchi's shoulders as they left the bathroom. "Think this: the same thing is happening to thousands of other guys all over the world. It's all part of being an average teenage guy."

Tenchi nodded. "Right. It means I'm just an average teenage guy. Okay, I can deal with that."

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Amagasaki was right; nothing else bad had happened to Tenchi the remainder of the school day. He walked home a bit happier than he had been before their talk, convinced that things had to get better. He turned his head to the sky, listening to the birds and watching leaves sway in the breeze. A shiny object in the sky got his attention.

"A shooting star? Wow..." He watched it move over the horizon, expecting it to sail past. Instead, it seemed to come straight for him.

"Look out, please!" a voice on a loudspeaker said.

"Mihoshi, stop! Do you want to give us away? Oops!" was also heard before the speaker was turned off.

Tenchi, seeing that a spaceship was about to hit the lake near his home, did what any unsuspecting earthling would have done: he screamed and ran away.

The craft bounced across the water like a skipping stone before stopping at the shoreline. Tenchi had not run fast enough, and was drenched by water. "Dammit..." he muttered, wringing out his clothes. His eyes scanned over the ship. It seemed harmless now that it wasn't moving.

"Hello?" he cautiously asked, taking small steps towards the vessel. "Anyone in there? I come in peace? I'll take you to my leader?"

Gulping, he reached a hand out and touched the metal, pulling back at the temperature. "Right, Masaki, it just crashed, burning, through the atmosphere. The best thing to do is touch it."

A door popped open at the top, and a voice said, "At least we can breathe here. I suppose we could stay a short while."

Tenchi ducked and hid in the knee-deep water, afraid of what strange-looking creature would emerge. He gasped upon seeing what came out.

A beautiful woman with long purple hair tied up into a bun pushed herself out. She wore large black pants with numerous pockets, and a halter-top made of leathery material. Her bangs partially hid eyes the colour of rose petals. She stood up and stretched out her thin frame, accentuating what curves she did have. She closed her eyes peacefully as the breeze blew over her face. "It's okay, Mihoshi, come on out."

"Mihoshi" pushed herself out, fell back in, and then had the other woman help her up. Mihoshi had darker skin, and was much taller than her friend. She had blond hair and blue eyes, and looked more like a human than the purple-haired, pink-eyed beauty. Mihoshi's face carried an innocence, while the former's looked jaded. "Wow, Aeka! This place is great! Let's stay here forever!"

"Aeka" smiled at Mihoshi. "No, we cannot stay here forever, but it will make a good hide out for a few days. A vacation, I suppose."

"Yay!"

Tenchi smiled. They seemed friendly enough. No tentacles, no large heads, everything looked humanoid enough. He cleared his throat and got out of his hiding place.

Before he could say a word, Aeka was behind him, holding a gun in the small of his back. "Who are you? Who sent you? Try anything and you're dead."

Tenchi threw his hands into the air. "I'm Tenchi Masaki! School sent me home! And I won't try anything, I swear, I'm not that kind of guy!"

Aeka lessened her guard a little. "You're not with the police?"

"Police?! I haven't even graduated high school!"

"You're not from Jurai?"

"From where? No, I'm from Okayama, well, I live near the Masaki shrine. My house is over there. I lived in Japan all my life, please don't kill me!"

Aeka lowered her gun, and Tenchi was too scared to move. Mihoshi jumped in front of him and took his hand. "Hi! I'm Mihoshi, and this is Aeka, and we're space pirates on the run from the Galaxy Police, so if you could help us out and find us a place to stay, that would be great, okay?" She was all smiles.

"Mihoshi!"

Mihoshi jumped back. "Sorry. I said too much again."

Tenchi didn't know whether he could laugh, or if that would constitute "trying something." He slowly lowered his arms and turned so he could see both of them. "Do you need any help?"

Aeka smiled and brushed back her bangs. Tenchi gasped at how pretty the alien was. "If you don't mind, we could use a place to clean up, and some help in getting this thing out of the water."

Tenchi noticed that both were covered with bruises and scratches. They both bled red. He cocked his head to the side, thinking about this. Are they really aliens? They look like us...

"Excuse me, Tenchi? Can you help us?"

"Uh, sure. Please, come with me. Can you make it to my house?" He pointed towards a home deep within a group of trees, near the edge of the water.

Mihoshi nodded, and began walking. Aeka took two steps and almost fell before Tenchi caught her. "Your ankle's swollen, Miss Aeka."

She looked down at her purpled, swelling joint. "It's okay, I've walked on worse." She took another few painful steps before tripping. Tenchi reached down to the pirate, and helped her up. He turned his back to her and kneeled.

"Here, climb on my back. I can carry you."

Aeka swallowed. She was prideful, but she was also in pain. "I'm only doing this because I wouldn't give up a free ride," she said, putting her arms around his neck. "I could walk there all by myself if I wanted, I just don't feel like it."

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Mihoshi breathed in the soap bubbles. She felt much better now that she was cleaned off, and wanted to stay in the bath forever. However, a rapping on the door from her partner told her that she should hurry up.

"Mihoshi! I am severely injured, and need to use the bathroom! Please, would you hurry up!"

Mihoshi climbed out and wrapped a towel around her, letting Aeka in. When Tenchi saw her, he spun around and blushed. "Uh, I've put some of my mother's things in that room. You can get changed there."

Mihoshi peeked into the guestroom to see a kimono lying on the bed. "Won't she mind that I'm wearing your clothes?"

Tenchi shook his head. "She's at work, and she'll understand your situation, anyway." Hey, Mom, some aliens crash-landed in the backyard, and they seemed nice enough after we got past that gun phase, so they borrowed your clothes, is that okay? Tenchi could picture telling her.

Mihoshi smiled. "Thanks!" She went into the bedroom, dropping her towel, and not closing the door. Tenchi took a quick look before getting a nosebleed and running to the other bathroom.

"She certainly doesn't look like an alien," he muttered, putting tissues up his nose.

Mihoshi came back out of the room, dried and dressed, her hair dripping around her. She sat down on the couch in the living room, and picked up what looked like, to her, a strange contraption. She hit the top button, and a picture came onto the large box in front of the couch. She jumped back, screaming, then became engrossed with the cartoon onscreen.

"Space Police Policeman?" She sat down, chin on hand, and watched the "plot" unfold.

Tenchi rushed into the living room. "Miss Mihoshi! What happened? Are you all right?"

Mihoshi nodded, not looking away. "I'm fine." Tenchi noticed that some of her cuts were still bleeding, and he brought down some antiseptic and Band-Aids. "What are those?"

"This will stop any infection you might get here." If the antiseptic doesn't give you an infection...he thought. "Miss Mihoshi, do you know if you're allergic to anything?"

"Benzeldens."

"What? I--" Tenchi shook his head. Whatever it was, it wasn't something found here. He dabbed antiseptic on her cuts, eliciting squeals from Mihoshi ("It burns!"). He put bandages on her arms and legs, shaking his head vigorously when she tried to untie the kimono ("But I've got more!" "You can do those yourself later!"). She giggled when he put a bandage on the bottom of her foot. "You're ticklish?"

She nodded.

"Miss Mihoshi, where do you come from? You and Miss Aeka? Mars? Venus? Pluto?"

Mihoshi shook her head, idly poking at the band-aids. "No, I've never heard of those places. And Aeka and I aren't from the same place. But now we're best friends!" She smiled at Tenchi, and he noticed how pretty she was. Her hair was beginning to dry, and her blond locks were curling up around her face. She reached up and pointed to the pimple in the center of his forehead. "What's that?"

His shoulders slumped. It seemed girls would never find him attractive. "It's a zit."

Mihoshi leaned her head to the side. "What's that? Is it like a wound?"

"Uh, no, it's, uh, dirt under my skin."

She tsk-tsked. "I can fix it, come here." She motioned for him to move closer. He expected that she would use some sort of alien magic to cure him of acne.

Mihoshi placed her hands on his forehead and squeezed until his pimple popped. Then she put a band-aid on it. "There, now it should be all better," she smiled.

Tenchi rolled his eyes up to the large bandage on his forehead. "Yes, this is certainly less noticeable."

The blonde picked up the remote and flipped through channels. "So where does your mom work?"

"She's a teacher at the elementary school. She gets home around four, after staying after school to tutor some of her kids."

"Oh. Where does your dad work?"

Tenchi put on a fake smile. "My dad hasn't done much work since he died when I was ten."

"Oh, that's too bad." Mihoshi turned her attention away from the television. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, it's just Mom, Grandpa, and me. He's at the shrine right now. He's the preist, and he's training me to take over for him one day."

Upstairs, someone was heard clearing their throat. Tenchi and Mihoshi turned to see Aeka at the top of the stairs, wrapped in a towel. "Um, Tenchi, where are my clothes?"

"Well, they were really dirty, so I put them by the washing machine. You can borrow some of my mother's clothes. They're laid out on the bed." He ran upstairs to show her to the same guestroom.

"Thank you." She walked inside and closed the door.

Tenchi rubbed the back of his neck. "And Amagasaki promised that this would be a normal, happy day."

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Aeka and Mihoshi, fascinated by the TV, sat in front of it for the rest of the afternoon while Tenchi did his chores at the shrine. He was wary of leaving them there, but they seemed too enthralled with afternoon soap operas to do anything dangerous.

Achika Masaki came in through the door, carrying a stack of notebooks. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed two strangers in her clothes, watching television. "Hello?"

"Hi," the girls said, not taking their eyes away from a toothbrush commercial.

"Um, may I ask who you are and why you're in my home?"

"Tenchi."

"Oh, you're friends of Tenchi!" she smiled. She ran her eyes over both of them. She knew he had had some problems with girls at school recently, and she grinned at the idea that one of these girls might be his girlfriend. She set her things down in her room, changed out of her work clothes, and scurried back downstairs. Achika sat down on the couch between them. "So, how long have you known Tenchi?"

"A day. He saved us and we took baths," Mihoshi replied.

Achika hoped that her words were part of some extensive slang vocabulary that she knew nothing about. "Well, I'm Achika Masaki, his mother." She shook hands with both girls, still watching TV. "And, ahem, why are you wearing my dress clothes?"

"This is what Tenchi laid out for us after our baths," Aeka said.

Tenchi and his grandfather came in at that moment, and Tenchi exclaimed, "Mom!"

Achika turned around. "Dear, could you tell me--" she was cut off when Tenchi grabbed her by the wrist.

"I can explain. At least, I think I can," he said, taking her into the kitchen.

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At dinner, Achika, Tenchi, and Katsuhito, Tenchi's grandfather, watched the aliens, expecting them to eat with lizard tongues, or something equally as strange. The conversation jumped from Achika's day at work, Tenchi's day at school, and Katsuhito's shrine work to the crash landing of the pirates, and how Aeka had broken out of prison.

Reaching for rice, Tenchi's hand bumped against Aeka's. They blushed, and both pulled back, Aeka taking a clump first. She took a glance at Tenchi when he wasn't looking. For someone used to eye colours ranging from orange to purple, brown eyes seemed so exotic to her. The fact that his hair seemed to match his irises made him more attractive in her eyes. She grinned and blushed, remembering how easily scared he was by her at first. Perhaps this little vacation would last longer than she had thought. She could get used to the quiet life at the Masaki home.

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"Washu, where are we going?" Kiyone burst into her younger sister's room, which looked more like a sophisticated lab than the quarters of a 13-year-old princess.

Washu sat at her computer. "We're headed for Earth, the third planet from Sol in its system. That's where Aeka and Mihoshi landed. I told you I'd find them before you."

Washus A and B appeared on their owner's shoulders. "Yeah! She told you so, you fathead!" A exclaimed.

B added, "Oh, Little Washu, you are so much smarter than your older sister!"

"We'll be landing roughly in the same area as the pirates, so prepare to hit the planet's atmosphere in 3 hours," the redhead smiled.

Kiyone left her sister's room and made her way back to her own, taking her hair down. You won't get away with this, Aeka. I'll get you before those bufoons at the Galaxy Police do. And when I do catch you, you'll wish you had never escaped them.