INT. KENNEDY HIGH - VICE PRINCIPAL KRUPPS'S OFFICE - DAY
The "GUNS N' ROSES" magazine slaps down on V. P. Krupps's desk. He straightens it out in front of him.
LILY
This could be a warning sign of
what's to come!
LILY stands in front of V. P. CALVIN KRUPPS. He casually flips through the pages.
LILY
If we don't react to this now, something
really bad could happen.
KRUPPS
Mm, like what exactly, Ms. Esposito?
LILY
I don't know. But I'm willing to bet that
none of the students here at Kennedy
Cherry High want to find out first hand.
KRUPPS
Well...I admire your anti-violence sentiment...
and your activism. However, there's nothing
I can really do, short of violating this student's
rights.
LILY
We've got to do something --
KRUPPS
Have you actually seen this -- or any other
student, in possession of a firearm on or off
campus?
LILY
No. But --
KRUPPS
But nothing, Ms. Esposito. This here is just
a magazine --
LILY
Yes, but it's a magazine glorifying the use,
sale and possession of guns -- it promotes
gun violence, Sir. You wouldn't allow a
student to possess a magazine that exploits
images of women or minorities...why allow
this to slip through the cracks?
KRUPPS
Honestly -- my hands are literally tied.
He holds up his wrist -- it seems to have a large, blinking plastic bracelet on it.
LILY
What is that?
KRUPPS
(clears throat)
It's an electronic device similar to those
used on dogs for the purpose of training or
curbing unsavory behavior.
All of a sudden, it crackles and his eyes widen as his body jolts. A voice comes over the intercom.
MARY CHERRY'S VOICE
Sorry -- jest testin' again!
KRUPPS
Thank you...Miss Cherry.
He regains his composure.
KRUPPS (cont'd)
Sadly, I have to admit that I'm walking a
fine line with the new owners of this school...
if I'm found to be hindering a student's
rights, whatever the case may be, I could
be out of a job...as well as a few nerve
endings.
LILY
You could be out more than that if you
allow this kind of message to possibly
materialize into something real and
positively deadly.
KRUPPS
I'm sorry, Ms. Esposito...unless you can
prove to me that the students and faculty
are in imminent danger, I cannot sanction
any actions that would cause unnecessary
panic among our idyllic high school
community...though I can issue a warning if
that would ease some of your concern.
Lily's face lights up.
INT. KENNEDY HIGH - HALLWAY - LATER
FOCUS ON LOUDSPEAKER:
KRUPPS'S VOICE
A reminder for those who aren't already
aware, the auditorium will be closed to
all traffic as manic construction continues
on the 50-foot replica of the Eiffel Tower in
preparation for the Junior Prom.
(pauses)
On a different note, any student or
faculty member caught in possession of
a weapon -- be it a firearm, a knife, or
unsanctioned gardening tool -- will be
dealt with in accordance with our
zero-tolerance policy here at Kennedy
High.
A loud, crackling sound radiates through the speaker.
KRUPPS'S VOICE
Kennedy Cherry High. Thank you and
have a good weekend.
LILY and SAM walk through the hall. Lily throws her head back.
LILY
Man!
SAM
What?
LILY
I went to him with that gun rag and all I get
is a stupid, unintelligible 12 second warning.
SAM
Well, if you feel that strongly about it -- and
I have a feeling you do -- why don't you
do something about it?
LILY
Like what?
SAM
Oh, I dunno...like form a club?
LILY
You remember the last time that happened, Sam.
SAM
Yeah, but this is different...I'm sure you can
get lots of students to sign up for your Stop
the Violence campaign. Besides, Harrison is
the president now...I'm sure you can get him
to consider it.
LILY
You're right...but how would I bring it up?
SAM
How 'bout at the meeting?
LILY
What meeting?
SAM
Haven't you seen the flyers?
(sighs)
I guess it'd be kinda hard to see with the
Cherrification of the whole school. I've got
one --
She digs it out of her bag and hands it to Lily.
SAM (cont'd)
-- here.
LILY
He's calling an emergency meeting of the clubs?
SAM
Yeah, I guess he's gonna undo all the damage
Nicole did during her ten-second tenure. I'm
actually on my way over there...wanna come?
LILY
How's he gonna do that with her as his
viper -- V.P.?
SAM
Something tells me that Harrison's a little bit
wiser to the ways of Nicole than April Tuna was.
LILY
That remains to be seen.
They continue on. At the other end of the hall, EMORY strives to catch up to HARRISON.
EMORY
Harrison, my good friend and
confidante...allow me a moment
of your time.
HARRISON
What's up, Emory?
EMORY
I wanted to congratulate you
on your successful usurpation of
power from the sharpened talons
of your wretched younger sibling.
Harrison stops.
EMORY
I also would like to put in a preemptive
strike to forge for the reconsideration
of my...Stayin' Alive Club.
HARRISON
Okay, first -- I'd watch the biting remarks
about my sister. Second, I know you have
alot of time on your hands since you
most likely don't have a date for the prom --
EMORY
Au contraire, my friend. My lovely jaybird
jailbird, April Tuna will certainly be escorting me
to the prom.
(pauses)
We've mended our barbed wire fences and I
promised to make the most of her weekend
pass by recording the events of the evening
on tape...for posterity.
HARRISON
Okay, whatever, just -- save the plea for
the meeting, o.k.?
EMORY
Aye aye, Captain.
They continue on.
EMORY (cont'd)
I hear further congratulations are in order.
HARRISON
For what?
EMORY
Your...office.
HARRISON
Huh?
EMORY
You haven't been to your office yet?
HARRISON
No, why?
They enter
INT. KENNEDY CHERRY HIGH - PRESIDENT'S OFFICE
where a gavel bangs the noise down. NICOLE stands behind the desk, gavel in hand. Harrison's eyes widen as he sees that the office looks just like the White House Oval Office, save for the Mary Cherry colors. LILY, JOSH, and SAM are amongst the attendees.
NICOLE
Listen up, people -- since your newly
appointed head seems to be stuck in
the sandbox, I will now start this insane
meeting --
HARRISON
Nicole???
Nicole's head whips around as she surreptitiously drops the gavel.
NICOLE
(sweetly)
Hi.
She turns back as Harrison approaches.
NICOLE (cont'd)
(to the attendees)
As I was saying, I will start this meeting...
(brightly)
with a greeting. Let's give it up for Mr.
President.
HARRISON
What're you doing?
NICOLE
(sitting down next to him)
Just getting the gavel warmed up for you, hon.
Harrison hesitantly sits down.
NICOLE (cont'd)
I take it you've read your Robert's Rules?
Harrison nods.
HARRISON
Hey everybody...I've uh...I've brought you
all here today to remedy some of the mistakes
that my predecessor made --
Nicole lifts her chin in defiance.
HARRISON (cont'd)
-- and perhaps reassess the status of some
of the current and defunct clubs...and make
some compromises.
EMORY
(standing up)
Motion to revive Stayin' Alive!
JOSH nods his head.
NICOLE
Fat chance, freak. There's no way in hell
we'd ever bring your loser club back.
(pauses)
Right...brother?
She winks at Harrison.
EMORY
Nepotism! Impeach! Impeach!!!
HARRISON
Okay, hold on...Emory, sit. Everybody will
get their turn.
(pauses)
Um...it's my understanding that the Glamazons
have been reinstated and are practicing right now,
right?
NICOLE
Much to my chagrin.
HARRISON
O.k....just making sure. O.k....
He pages through a large packet of papers.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Okay...uh...hmm....
Nicole reaches over and stops him from paging...she points to the top of the first page.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Oh...okay...first item on my list here is
a request to reconsider the Junior NRA
Youth Club.
His eyebrows tilt in question and he turns to Nicole, whispering.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Wait, NRA? We have an rifle club here?
NICOLE
(nods)
Mmhm.
Harrison gulps.
HARRISON
Hu...how many members?
NICOLE
Well, ever since Mary Cherry was banned for
killing off the entire squirrel population of
Kennedy High, there hasn't been any other
gun toting maniac...that I know of.
Harrison nods, but looks hesitant.
NICOLE (cont'd)
(hisses)
Look, if you're going to give your disco dancing
freakbuddy his stupid John Travolta club back-- and I
have no doubt that that's what you're going to do --
I suggest you make your cuts quick...and painful.
HARRISON
Uhm...o.k.
(turns back)
Uh....
Before he can say anything, Lily raises her hand.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Yes, Lily?
LILY
(stands up)
Mr. President...Madame Vice President -- I have
a proposal for a new club.
NICOLE
Funny, I thought we already had PETA
at this school.
LILY
I'm not talking about animal rights this time.
I'm talking about the basic human right to
live peacefully in a non-violent society.
NICOLE
(scoffs)
And attacking fur-wearing women in Bev
Hills isn't in the least non-violent? Correct
me if I'm wrong, but isn't that considered
assault?
Lily frowns as Sam reluctantly nods.
JOSH
(whispers)
She does have a point, Lil.
LILY
(shaken)
O.k., you're right, but still...this isn't about reaching
people about the cruelty of fur, this is about
reaching out to students about --
NICOLE
Yeah, hi, hon -- if you wanna reach out and touch
someone, go form a nudist colony in Montana.
Nuthin' like the cool mountain air breezing through
the sticks that are your legs. Buck up and put on
the Paul Simon, 'cuz we're never gonna fund your
latest peace mission.
HARRISON
Nicole --
LILY
All I want to do, Nicole, is to send the message out
that we, as students, don't have to subscribe to the
violent images in the media --
HARRISON
Lily --
NICOLE
Take another puff on your love bong Little Lily,
'cuz I got news for ya -- in case you haven't noticed,
this school doesn't have the time or the money
to invest in your make-love-not-war message.
This isn't the 60's -- we live in an age where
violence is as much a part of our culture as
is ABC Daytime and Brittney.
HARRISON
Nicole --
LILY
Doesn't that soap opera scenario scare you at all?
Or are you too desensitized from the lobotomy you
got when you went in for your last Spears-sized
implant upgrade?
HARRISON
OKAY, ENOUGH!!!
He composes himself.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Lily, sit. Nicole...chill.
NICOLE
Back on point. What've you decided about
the Junior Charlton Heston worshippers?
HARRISON
Yeah...well, considering that there seems to be
no faculty advisor...and no members --
JEREMY
There's a member.
Harrison looks up. JEREMY peeks up from the crowd.
HARRISON
Uh, eeyeah...that's the point. The school doesn't
have the
funds to support a club with only one member,
so...I'm sorry, but unless there are any other
objections, the club's gotta go.
He waits. No one objects, and Lily looks at a spaced out Josh.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Okay then, no more Junior NRA.
Jeremy gets up and leaves.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Moving on to other business...Lily, I think
we can work to get your club started.
Lily smiles. Nicole's eyes widen and she yanks Harrison towards her.
NICOLE
(whispers)
WHAT are you doing? You just said that we
don't have the money to fund one club and yet
you're about to green light Lily's lovefest?
HARRISON
(whispers)
Look, I know what I'm doing. Info costs less
that bullets, and I know that Lily will be able to
get people to join up. It's about support, Nicole...
it's be nice if I had some right now.
He turns back to the attendees.
HARRISON
Um, just go ahead and draw up the plans. And
as for Emory...well, I think it's time to break out the
polyester, 'cuz as of now, the Stayin' Alive
club is back on the dance floor.
EMORY
YES !
Josh nods with a smile. Nicole looks livid, but a little disheartened.
INT. KENNEDY CHERRY HIGH - HALLWAY - A LITTLE LATER
Nicole struts down the hall as Harrison catches up.
HARRISON
Nicole...Nicole, wait.
He cuts in front of her.
NICOLE
Didn't you get enough power tripping
for the day?
HARRISON
It wasn't a power trip...look, I just wanted
you to know that I didn't do any of that to
spite you.
NICOLE
No, you just gave your little tree-lovin' buddy
what she wanted above all other considerations.
In case you've forgotten who writes the checks
for these hideous hallways, I highly doubt that
Mary Cherry will fund Lily's latest crusade.
HARRISON
You are completely wrong, Nicole. You see,
Mary Cherry's still letting me be class president despite
my choice of appointing you as my Vice Pres because
she has faith in me...and my decisions.
(pauses)
Hey, didn't I make my decision to cut the gun club
based on your advice?
Nicole's eyes wander from his.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Yeah. Don't be too hard on yourself.
(pauses)
A little faith goes a long way. You should try it
some
time.
(pauses)
Why do you care about whether or not Lily gets
her way, anyway?
NICOLE
I don't. It's...it's nothing. I'm just a little
stressed
about everything, that's all.
HARRISON
Oh.
(pauses)
Oh...you aren't...you aren't having second thoughts
about my last-minute invite to the dance, are you?
NICOLE
No --
HARRISON
Well, I promise that it'll be worth every
second. Mary Cherry's rented this wicked
20-seater truckmousine from Dallas,
I already have my tux, and...oh sh...it isn't
about a dress, is it? 'Cuz I'm sure I could get
Mary Cherry to zap one over from Milan --
NICOLE
No, I have several.
HARRISON
Then...what is it? Why so glum?
NICOLE
It's nothing...I guess I'm just trying to get used to
the fact that I'm always going to be second in
command. First it was with Brookie and the
Glamazons...now with you.
HARRISON
Oh.
(pauses)
Well, I can assure you that you will be the center
of everyone's attention at the prom.
NICOLE
Why's that? Don't tell me you and the little Dick
have more footage of our sweaty bump n' grind
to show.
HARRISON
No, what I was going to say that you will at
the forefront because you will be there with
me...and I know that I'm going to this thing
with the prettiest girl in school.
Just then, Jeremy walks by and glares at them, allowing for Nicole to recompose.
NICOLE
Pick me up at 6:30?
HARRISON
I'm there.
He smiles and leans to kiss her, but realizes what he's doing and stops -- he quickly gives her a peck on the forehead and hugs her. He waves as he leaves her standing in the hall.
He runs into SAM at the other end of the hall. They try to move out of each other's way, but they end up moving the same way each time.
HARRISON & SAM
Sorry.
Harrison finally maneuvers around her.
SAM
Um -- that was a great first assembly.
HARRISON
Think so?
SAM
Yeah. Lily's really excited about her
new club.
HARRISON
Yeah, well, when is she not excited about
her push to bring the civil back into civilization?
Sam laughs.
SAM
Um...so where are you off to?
HARRISON
I'm...I'm going to get my haircut.
SAM
Since when have you cared what your hair
looks like on a weekend?
HARRISON
Since...I'm going to be going to the prom?
SAM
You're going?
HARRISON
Yeah, aren't you?
SAM
Uh, yeah...yeah, I am. Josh and Lily asked
if I wanted to go...I think they just took
pity on me since I don't have a date, so I'm
going on their cab pool.
HARRISON
You...don't have a date?
Sam shakes her head.
HARRISON (cont'd)
So this Josh n' Lil thing is kinda like a
non-committal threesome?
SAM
(laughs)
Kinda.
HARRISON
Hey...why don't you ride with me and my date?
Sam hedges.
HARRISON (cont'd)
Yeah! Bring Josh and Lil, too.
SAM
I...I don't wanna be the fifth wheel.
HARRISON
And you were willing to feel like a third
wheel? Tricycles were fun when we were
like..five, but...
(pauses)
Come on, you know you want to. And it's
not like we don't have the room. The more
the merrier, right? So...what d'you say?
SAM
(sighs)
O.k., I'll tag along with you and your date.
(pauses)
So...care to share who this mystery woman is?
Harrison's eyes widen as he winces.
INT. BROOKE & SAM'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
BROOKE
What??? He can't go with her!
BROOKE and Sam stand at the sink as they do the dishes.
SAM
Why not? I think it'd be good for
the both of them...you know, give
them time to bond.
BROOKE
The Junior Prom wouldn't be the place
to do that sorta thing.
SAM
Brooke, chill! It's not like they're still
sleeping together -- are they?
BROOKE
No, of course not...at least, I don't think
so.
Sam shudders.
SAM
Ugh, just the thought of that gives me the
creeps...even I can't imagine Harrison
being so desperate.
BROOKE
I dunno, I just think...I just don't think it's
right for them to be going together, that's
all.
SAM
What is up with you and your obsession
with everybody else's lives but your own?
It's no wonder I haven't seen Jamie around.
BROOKE
Jamie and I are fine.
SAM
Oh yeah? Then how come I hear you haven't
got a limo yet?
BROOKE
It's a high school dance, Sam. We don't need
a limo for that.
SAM
Ooo, excuuuse me. I hadn't realized that you
deemed yourself too deep to wade in the
shallow waters of high school rituals.
BROOKE
I don't see you going in a limo.
SAM
I am...Harrison invited me to join him in
his.
BROOKE
I thought you were going with Josh and Lily.
SAM
I talked to Lily before dinner and they've bagged
their cab plans in favor of fragrant leather seats
and the TV/VCR combo. And believe me, it wasn't
an easy feat, considering the claws that came
out at the club meeting.
BROOKE
Why, what happened?
SAM
Well, while you were outside tossing around
shredded mylar, Lily and Nicole were tossing
verbal knives at eachother over Lily's idea for an
anti-violence club.
BROOKE
Oh.
SAM
It all worked itself out, though, and Harrison's
proving to be a great leader, despite Nicole's
presence.
(pauses)
Anyway...Harrison also asked if you and Jamie
wanted to come too, seeing that Mary Cherry's
truckmousine could carry a small army.
(pauses)
But if you don't want to...
Brooke spaces out for a moment.
SAM
...Brooke? Did you hear me?
BROOKE
Uh, yeah, I heard you. Sure...we'll go
with you guys.
She wrings the towel around her hands and she steps away.
BROOKE (cont'd)
Um...I'll go call Jamie about it right now...let him
know about the change in plans.
SAM
Okay.
Brooke pads out of the kitchen and Sam leans over to the broken dishwasher to open it...there are still tons of dishes left and she sighs.
INT. BROOKE & SAM'S HOUSE - BROOKE'S ROOM
FOCUS on BROOKE'S HAND pressing the speed dial on her phone. She hooks a blond strand of hair around her ear as she listens to the dialing....
NICOLE'S VOICE
Nicole Julian's House of Style, what's
your pleasure tonight?
BROOKE
Nicole? It's me, Brooke.
INTERCUT BETWEEN BROOKE'S ROOM/NICOLE'S ROOM
NICOLE reclines in her chair as her private manicurist/pedicurist works on her toenails.
NICOLE
Brookie? You know my private line
is reserved for emergencies only.
BROOKE
Well, this is kind of an emergency.
NICOLE
Don't tell me -- you need shoes. No
problem, I bought out the last of the
Blahniks at Niemann's and --
BROOKE
It's not about shoes...it's about you.
(pauses)
You can't go to the dance with Harrison.
NICOLE
Why the hell not?
BROOKE
Because!
(frustrated, whispers)
Because you're lying to him!
NICOLE
So? Since when has my lying been an
issue?
BROOKE
Oh, I dunno -- maybe when you found
out that he's not really your brother?
NICOLE
He'll find out soon enough.
BROOKE
When? When you start showing off that
other secret you're hiding from him?
NICOLE
I told you before that I'd take care of it.
BROOKE
Oh my...you didn't get --
NICOLE
Relax Brookie, I didn't.
(pauses)
But you really should start focusing on your
own life instead of worrying about mine.
BROOKE
I can't help it, I feel...I feel bad about not
being able to tell him what I know.
NICOLE
Don't feel bad then --
BROOKE
It's not that easy --
NICOLE
And you think it's easy for me, knowing that
in a few months I'll be looking like Alicia
Silverstone in her batsuit?
(pauses)
I told you. Harrison will find out that he's not
my brother...probably sooner than you think.
BROOKE
And what about the other thing he needs to
know?
NICOLE
Maybe I've got a couple of surprises planned,
o.k.?
BROOKE
Wait...you're not going to tell him at the prom,
are you?
NICOLE
Maybe...maybe not.
(pauses)
Now, if you don't have anything else to say to
me, I'm going to ask you nicely to let me get
back to enjoying my pre-prom peddy, mmkay?
BROOKE
Nicole --
Nicole clicks off her cell.
Brooke sighs in frustration as she lies on her bed, staring at the ceiling...she reaches for the phone and dials again.
HARRISON'S VOICE
Yello.
BROOKE
Harrison.
HARRISON'S VOICE
Brooke? What brings you to call this
late? Hey...get thee to thine window!
Brooke climbs off the bed and goes to the window. She sees Harrison holding his phone and waving, and she smiles -- he's already trying on his tux.
INTERCUT BETWEEN HARRISON and BROOKE at their windows.
HARRISON
How do I look?
BROOKE
Well, from what I can see, you look
great...and happy.
HARRISON
I am, I'm like, sooooo psyched I'm bordering
on psycho. I'd sleep in this thing if I didn't think
it'd wrinkle.
(pauses)
So you getting ready for the big night?
Gonna get down with the ol' college
stud?
He does the cabbage patch and she laughs.
BROOKE
I...I actually have something to tell you.
HARRISON
Oh? What's the matter, you and Jamie
call it quits?
BROOKE
No, it's...
She hesistates and watches Harrison from afar. He exaggerates a shrug so she can see.
HARRISON
Well? What is it?
Brooke hesistates again.
BROOKE
I called to tell you that...
(pauses)
...that me and Jamie would love to
join you and your posse for the limo
ride.
HARRISON
COOL!
He gives her a thumbs up signal.
BROOKE
I hear you've got lots of room, so...
HARRISON
Yeah, we do! It's gonna be a blast,
Brooke. Hey, thanks for calling and
making this even more exciting!
BROOKE
Sure.
HARRISON
How 'bout we come get you at around...6:45?
BROOKE
Yeah, we'll be ready and waiting.
HARRISON
Hey look, I hate to cut this short but I've got to
take this thing off before I leave a permanent
style-squashing ring around the collar.
BROOKE
Oh, no problem.
Harrison waves bye excitedly and shuts his curtains.
BACK TO BROOKE'S as she turns from the window, distressed.
BROOKE
Huh...no problem at all, really.
END OF ACT 2