Hello you…
This is kind of
a side-story to 'Blood Money'. It's
part of the series, but you don't need to read this if you're reading the
series. You do, however, need to read
the series to fully understand the reasoning behind all this nonsense. So if you haven't read it…READ IT NOW!!
We-hell, with
all that done, I can say…this is a songfic. A songfic of epic proportions!! (Jokes!)
No, really. It's a Gundam Wing songfic. (Duh)
The song is
"What Can I Do" by The Corrs…I luv Irish-y music!! ^.^
Sorry if it's a
little OOC…hey, most o' my ficcies are!! But mainly the reason for OOC-ness in
this would be…COS I'VE NEVER SEEN THE ANIME!!
All I know about
it has been derived from other fanfics. So there. That explains any
OOC-ness in the 'Blood Money' series too.
Hope it's
alright…
~ Wannon-chan ~
What Can I Do
Quatre Raberba Winner couldn't sleep. He arose from their bed…his bed, and walked over to a treasured photo frame. He stared at the man in the photo, releasing a sigh.
It's only been a couple of days…and I miss him so much… He thought.
~ I haven't slept at all in days,
It's been so long since we've talked…~
Quatre traced the outline of the man's face with his finger.
Well…its not like we haven't fought before…but this kind of thing hasn't happened before…is it me? Am I doing something wrong?
~ And I have been here many times,
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong…~
Quatre set the photo frame back down, giving it one last, long look before lying back on his bed, and replaying the scene in his mind.
* It
had been a few days, and Quatre and Trowa had been unusually 'inactive'…
Every
time Quatre went to touch Trowa, he would recoil and shudder. It hurt Quatre greatly, considering the fact
that Trowa wouldn't open up to him. He
had retracted into his shell once more, and not even Quatre could penetrate it.
It
was a bad time for this to happen, too…it was Trowa's birthday. They sat apart on the large couch in one of
Quatre's rooms, shooting nervous glances at each other.
"Happy
Birthday, Trowa…" Quatre said finally. Trowa flashed him a weak smile.
"Thankyou
Quatre…" he mumbled. Quatre presented
him with a gift, which Trowa opened, thanked him for, and then put to one
side. Trowa then made a comment about
being tired, and moved to retreat into his room. Quatre sprung to his feet, a smile on his face.
"Trowa?
Can I cuddle with you tonight?" he asked hopefully. Trowa turned his sad, emerald eyes to him, and shook his head.
"I'm
sorry, Quatre…I just want to be alone" he replied. Quatre flinched and tears began to pool in his eyes.
"That's
all you ever want! Why, Trowa? I thought you loved me! Why can't you tell me
what's going on?!" he exclaimed, beginning to sob loudly. Trowa stood still as his lover broke down.
"Quatre…"
he said softly. The little blonde
looked pleadingly at him through tear-blurred aquamarine eyes.
"I'm
sorry, Trowa but I tried! I tried to be understanding, I tried to give you your
space, I tried, I tried…but I can't do it anymore! It's too much, Trowa…too
much…" he sobbed, kneeling on the floor, wiping at his rapidly-flowing
tears. Trowa took one step towards
Quatre, before turning and walking away.
"Don't
alienate yourself from me, Trowa!…if you can't bring yourself to touch me, to
kiss me anymore…to even look at me, then you don't have to. Leave." Quatre said softly. That caught Trowa's attention. He stopped mid-step, looking back at Quatre.
"As you wish, Master Quatre" he replied sadly,
before continuing on to his room. *
~ What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there? ~
* Quatre felt a burning rage building inside him,
and he watched Trowa retreat to their room. Quatre never thought Trowa would take his advice…but when Trowa came
down with his suitcase packed, and tears streaming from his eyes, he knew he
was leaving.
Trowa left without a single word, ignoring the tears
both were shedding.
Quatre was alone. *
~ There's only so much I can take
And I just gotta let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope ~
Quatre cringed at that memory. He knew he should have been much kinder to Trowa…but he couldn't change the past.
Maybe if I let him go…he'll come back to me…Quatre thought. Another part of him wasn't so sure.
Yeah, wonderful…let him find someone else, Quatre…good idea! It chided. Quatre frowned.
Well what do I do, then? How can I bring him back to me? How can I show him how much he means to me? He thought anxiously.
~ What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there? ~
Quatre stood up once more, pacing around his spacious bedroom.
Finally he came to a stop, collapsing onto his butt and sighing in defeat.
This is it. Quatre Raberba Winner is giving up…I never thought this day would come. Looks like there are some things money really can't buy…he thought. He wiped the small tears from his eyes, and sniffled.
Trowa deserves better…I'm just a pompous rich boy…I'm nothing. He thought dejectedly, sinking deeper and deeper into the well of self-hate he had begun to dig for himself.
I give up…
~ No more waiting no more aching
No more fighting no more trying…
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly ~
He stood and took the picture frame from his nightstand once more, gazing deeply at it, as though it would give him the answers his heart so desperately needed.
But…is this really what I want? Do I really want to give up on Trowa this easily? He wondered. Trowa's eyes seemed so sad and hollow in the picture…he may have plastered on a happy face while Quatre was around, but he was hiding some deep emotions behind that smile.
He really has some issues…I never noticed!…I'm more than
willing to help him. I could help
him…oh, Trowa…come back to me…
~ What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there ~
Quatre decided that Trowa would return…with a little persuasion.
He would try anything and everything, just to have his beloved back in his arms. Nobody knew just how much that 'circus clown' meant to Quatre…he was his world, his life, and his heart. He would do anything for him.
Quatre took one more look at the photo, before placing it back on the nightstand.
Trowa Barton…you're definitely worth it…
The End.
Whaddya think?
My very first attempt at a songfic! …and a Gundam Wing one, too!
I've never even
SEEN the program!!
Oh well…I'm
kinda proud of it…not that it makes much sense.
Let me know what
y'all think, mmmkay? It's important to me to know if you liked it…or not.
Thankyou!!
~ Wannon-chan ~