Woman Trouble 3

Title:- see above
Rating:- PG13
Distribution:- have it if you want it but ask first.
Ownership:- Joss is God etc...
Feedback:- or may Spike spill your guts in the market place.



"I just saw the Buffster."
"She okay?"
Xander glared at the blonde vampire,
"As if you'd care."
"Ouch, hot temper, but you're right. I don't."
"I was you wasn't it?"
"What do you think?"
Xander sighed,
"I don't know."
"The truth is in the teller, as my beloved mother used to say.... just a couple of weeks before I ate her."
"I was you. Wasn't it?"
Spike shrugged nonchalantly but didn't answer.
"And after all she's done for you!"
"What? Kicking my arse every time I make a mistake? Embarrassing me infront of demons I used to call "mate"? You'll find no sympathy in this vampire, Harris. She deserved everything she got.... besides, one punch doesn't give a Slayer concussion. If you ask me that tall thing is to blame for the rest of it."
The vampire circled the human once then retired to his sofa and turned off the TV. Xander sat in the armchair across the room,
"Woah, deja-vu."
"So, how'd it go with that chick?"
"Great. More than great, and I have you to thank for that."
"Don't mention it." He looked more serious as he cast his eyes to Xander's face, "Ever."
"Point taken."
"You're sitting that way again."
"What way?..oh, sorry."


"No."
"But Buff - "
"I said no. It was a flat refusal."
"Come on, Buffy!"
Willow then saw the feral light in her friend's eyes and withdrew the cup of fresh coffee. Buffy pouted,
"I wanted *proper* coffee! Not decaf. I need the caffeine."
Willow turned imploringly to the Ripper as he entered the room and desperately tried to change the subject,
"So, any...uh..further developments?"
"Not as such."
Buffy sighed,
"What's that mean?"
"Um, Spike admitted to punching you but not hard enough to send you into the gate and give you concussion."
"And you believe him?!" She bit off.
"Ish."
"Ish? Ish isn't a Giles word."
"I'm adaptable...so to speak."
"And a de-chipped William the Bloody is on the large. Y'think he'll forget all those times I whupped his ass?"
"I will if you will, Luv."
All heads turned to the vampire in the doorway. Behind him stood a slightly guilty looking Alexander Harris. He looked around the room avoiding eye contact with Willow, while the demon smiled in mock sympathy,
"How's the head?"
Xander allowed himself a quick glance at his ex and she glared at him. Anya knew where he'd been the night before, although not who he'd been *with*.
Buffy explained how she had woken up in the cemetery and what may have happened. Spike nodded his head knowingly,
"That thing was huge. How much y'wanna bet it was him?"
"Nothing, I say it was you."
"Me? As if I would want to bother wasting what little energy pigs' blood has to offer on you."
The conversation went on like this, each trying to wind the other up, until the doctor came in. He wasn't impressed,
"Miss. Summers. I told you not to get excited."
"I wasn't excited. I was simply trying to make a point."
The doctor wasn't convinced,
"Which was?"
"I was...uh, I was..."
Spike chipped in by using the old "Buffy's the drummer in our high-school band" excuse that he had used on Joyce a couple of years earlier,
"We were just saying that there should be more vocal and less bass in our latest song. She's the drummer."
The vampire excelled as usual, he believed every word of it. As the doctor left, Spike laughed,
"Humans are so gullible."
He realised all surrounding humans were looking at him. He shrugged half-apologetically,
"Well, you are."
He smiled slightly then walked out. Spike-style.

Buffy lay in bed at home under strict orders from Mom, Giles and the doctor not to move. She didn't. She lay there watching the 9 o'clock news. High mortality rates as usual. Nuh-uh, * higher * than usual. Great, just what Sunnydale needed when she had concussion. Bummer.
She switched off for a moment and her mind wandered till she was thinking of Angel. Realising where her thoughts were heading, she woke up again. Why did she always think of Cryptic Guy when she was injured? She focussed on the TV just in time to catch details on the increase in fatalities around Sunnydale. Big surprise. All had two puncture wounds in the neck and were almost completely drained of blood. The whole news report screamed "VAMPIRE!!!!!" but did the cops notice? Noooo. They just sat around eating their doh-nuts and talking about the game last night.

Spike stood outside the Summers' threshold smoking. He leant against a tree and grinned. He was full. Make that very full. His work was plastered all over the news. Sudden increase in mortalities equalled sudden increase in Spike's appetite. He was so right. Humans are gullible. Especially these ones. A tall, curvaceous blonde caught his eye. She saw him and he flashed his sexiest smile at her. She approached and Spike smiled, saying to himself,
"I love my job."