Years later in FF7 after Sephiroth died and stuff: Tifa found herself unemployed, and she was so fat and ugly by that time, so the only job she could get was a Phone Sex operator job, so she took it and started, she was good at her new job, she figured it was better than giving blow jobs for 5 gil per minute, But one day a costomer called...
Tifa: *in a soft-low-sweet-sexy-phone-sex-operator-type-voice* Hello... You've reached 1-800-I'm-a-loser-who-can't-get-any, We cost only 5000 gil per hour, we accept Visa, Masturbater card, And we accept the I'm-a-loser-who-can't-get-any Gift certificates also, Please select how You would like to pay for this call..
Cid: *in a weird voice since he has a cold* Well, I got this here Gift certificate.
Tifa: Alright, please give Me the Code number on the back sir.
Cid: 6-9-0-2-1-0
Tifa: Oh, Alright, You get 3 hours with, either Me, Juanita, or Billy-bob-jo-bob-joey.
Cid: Ummm *laughs* I choose You!.
Tifa: Okay, Now let's get started..
Cid: Mmm, alright.. *koff-ahem* Yes let's get started.
Tifa: *sitting there all fat-like with half her ass hanging off the sides of her chair, lifting her fat leg up onto a table as she leans over and paints her toenails* Now just imagine Me, all hot wet and sweaty, lying naked on a bed, being covered by only a black silk sheet with little white stains all over it, *giggles*
Cid: Oohhh *drools Homer Simpson-style with his tongue hangin' outta his mouth and drools* Yeah baby, Yeah!.
Tifa: Now imagine Me, slowly spreading My legs and sliding a hand down My stomach and inbetween My thig-...
Cid: ACK?!, *static noises over the phone* Hey, Let go!, I'm on the phone dammit!, C'mon!, This is an -IMPORTANT- call!..
Cloud: C'mon Cid, lemme use da ppphhhoooonnnneee, I gotta call Barret to see how My crack is coming along!, I need more Godammit!.
Tifa: ?!... CLOUD?!
Cloud: *hears Tifa's voice coming from the phone* TIF-?-AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Cid: TIFA?!.. @^(*$^&#($@&$&(*#?!
Tifa: CLOUD?!!!..
Cloud: CID WHAT ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO TIFA!.
Cid: I finally decided to use that "I'm-a-loser-who-can't-get-any Gift certificate" You gave Me for Christmas Cloud!.
Tifa: OMFG?! CID?!
Cloud: TIFA'S A PHONE SEX OPERATOR?!..
Cid: Of course, she's too fat and ugly now to be hired for any other job.
Tifa: *hangs up*
Cloud: My god, I knew she changed since the battle with Sephiroth, but I didn't know how much!.
Cid: Tif?.. Tif?!... Damn.. She hung up! Godammit and I still have 2 hours left on this thing and a &*$#-on.. Dammit!, This is all Your fault You Blond-spikey-headed-Sephiroth-wannabe~white-trailer-trash! (!&*$^%&#!
Cloud: Well scuuuse Me and My crack needs!.
Cid: Just go snort some ajax or something!
Cloud: Barret snorted it all already -.-;
Cid: Well dammit, You can kill anyone, You killed Sephiroth man!, Just go find a drug dealer and beat them up for Your Crack
Cloud: Okay!..
Cid: Heh.. I bet'cha Tifa's got alotta 'Crack' now.
Cloud: Oh?.. Okay!, To Tifa's I go!.
Cid: !($&*%^#&$(*!#&.. *sweatdrops*
Tifa: *in a soft-low-sweet-sexy-phone-sex-operator-type-voice* Hello... You've reached 1-800-I'm-a-loser-who-can't-get-any, We cost only 5000 gil per hour, we accept Visa, Masturbater card, And we accept the I'm-a-loser-who-can't-get-any Gift certificates also, Please select how You would like to pay for this call..
Cid: *in a weird voice since he has a cold* Well, I got this here Gift certificate.
Tifa: Alright, please give Me the Code number on the back sir.
Cid: 6-9-0-2-1-0
Tifa: Oh, Alright, You get 3 hours with, either Me, Juanita, or Billy-bob-jo-bob-joey.
Cid: Ummm *laughs* I choose You!.
Tifa: Okay, Now let's get started..
Cid: Mmm, alright.. *koff-ahem* Yes let's get started.
Tifa: *sitting there all fat-like with half her ass hanging off the sides of her chair, lifting her fat leg up onto a table as she leans over and paints her toenails* Now just imagine Me, all hot wet and sweaty, lying naked on a bed, being covered by only a black silk sheet with little white stains all over it, *giggles*
Cid: Oohhh *drools Homer Simpson-style with his tongue hangin' outta his mouth and drools* Yeah baby, Yeah!.
Tifa: Now imagine Me, slowly spreading My legs and sliding a hand down My stomach and inbetween My thig-...
Cid: ACK?!, *static noises over the phone* Hey, Let go!, I'm on the phone dammit!, C'mon!, This is an -IMPORTANT- call!..
Cloud: C'mon Cid, lemme use da ppphhhoooonnnneee, I gotta call Barret to see how My crack is coming along!, I need more Godammit!.
Tifa: ?!... CLOUD?!
Cloud: *hears Tifa's voice coming from the phone* TIF-?-AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Cid: TIFA?!.. @^(*$^&#($@&$&(*#?!
Tifa: CLOUD?!!!..
Cloud: CID WHAT ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO TIFA!.
Cid: I finally decided to use that "I'm-a-loser-who-can't-get-any Gift certificate" You gave Me for Christmas Cloud!.
Tifa: OMFG?! CID?!
Cloud: TIFA'S A PHONE SEX OPERATOR?!..
Cid: Of course, she's too fat and ugly now to be hired for any other job.
Tifa: *hangs up*
Cloud: My god, I knew she changed since the battle with Sephiroth, but I didn't know how much!.
Cid: Tif?.. Tif?!... Damn.. She hung up! Godammit and I still have 2 hours left on this thing and a &*$#-on.. Dammit!, This is all Your fault You Blond-spikey-headed-Sephiroth-wannabe~white-trailer-trash! (!&*$^%&#!
Cloud: Well scuuuse Me and My crack needs!.
Cid: Just go snort some ajax or something!
Cloud: Barret snorted it all already -.-;
Cid: Well dammit, You can kill anyone, You killed Sephiroth man!, Just go find a drug dealer and beat them up for Your Crack
Cloud: Okay!..
Cid: Heh.. I bet'cha Tifa's got alotta 'Crack' now.
Cloud: Oh?.. Okay!, To Tifa's I go!.
Cid: !($&*%^#&$(*!#&.. *sweatdrops*