Matt dreaded school more than usual. At least most of the time he could fade back into the crowd. But having a broken wrist didn't exactly help when you didn't want to be noticed. There would be the inevitable curious people, inquiring minds, nosy busybodies, etc. He wasn't expecting anyone to want ot be around him, especially considering how rude he had been the day before. So he was really shocked when he arrived at school to find Mimi, Sora, Izzy, Joe, and a tired but determined Tai waiting for him.
"Hey Matt! How's the wrist?" Matt stared at him for a moment, speechless, then recovered.
"Fine," he answered curtly. Tai didn't seem daunted by his surly behavior though.
"Can I see your schedule?" Matt took it from his pocket where he had put it for safekeeping and handed it to him without a word. Tai examined it for a moment, then handed it back grinning. "Great! It's almost identical to mine. There's only one difference, and we can fix that easily enough. You'll just have to join chorus."
"Why?" asked Matt uncomprehendingly.
Tai gave him an exasperated look that seemed to say 'Have you turned your brain on this morning?' and sighed. "So our schedules will be the same and you won't have to be alone with a bunch of people you don't know."
"I don't know you that well either."
"But at least you know me partially. That's better than not at all."
"Whatever."
Tai put his hands on his hips and glared at Matt. "What is your problem? I'm just trying to be nice!" Matt looked away pointedly, obviously not going to answer. Tai narrowed his eyes, then grinned. From Joe's reaction when he found out that Matt had introduced himself he knew that he had some sort of hold over Matt. He'd just have to use that to his advantage.
The others watched in amusement as Tai stepped directly in front of Matt and went all pleading and chibi-ish. He locked gazes with Matt and tried again. "Please tell me? Pretty please?"
Tai leaned closer and closer to Matt until he could feel Matt's breath on his face speeding up as he got so close that they were almost touching. Matt found himself frozen by Tai's nearness. He desperately wanted to pull away but his body didn't seem to be responding. Before he knew what he was doing his mouth was speaking, seemingly unconnected to the rest of his brain.
"The psychologist at my last school gave me a whole list of my 'problems.' The ones I remember are problems at home, lack of self-confidence and belief that the whole world is out to get me."
"What happened to the list?"
"Was supposed to give it to my parents. Threw it away instead and swore at the psychologist next time I saw her. Got in trouble but it was worth it."
"So, the emperor has no clothes," said Tai softly (AN: Um, don't mind that comment. It's from a book I read by L. E. Modesitt Jr. called The Magic of Recluce and it just popped into my head at this particular point so I put it there. What can I say? ^_^0)
Matt blinked since his eyelids were all he could seem to move. "Huh?"
"Nevermind."
And Tai backed away, then stood there nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened. Matt found he had suddenly regained the ability to move and took a step backward. He glanced around for an escape route but could find none. The others had formed a semi-circle around him and there was a wall directly behind him.
"So, are you going to join chorus?" asked Tai.
Matt didn't answer for a moment, then hastily answered "yes" as Tai took a step closer to him. He wasn't scared of Tai, not at all. All his instincts were screaming that he could trust Tai, and he honestly didn't think Tai was a threat to him. He just hated losing control, and something about Tai made him do just that. Tai was going to have to be avoided at all costs if he could take away his control as easily as he had.
"Great. We better get to class though. We'll go get you schedule changed during second period study hall." Tai started off, expecting Matt to follow, but he didn't. So Tai stalked back, grabbed Matt's right hand, and pulled him along reluctantly behind him with the others flanking them, Joe and Izzy to the left and Mimi and Sora to the right. They drew quite a few weird looks as they walked down the hall to their lockers, but they ignored them and forged on.
And that was how Matt's entire day went. Tai made all decisions and got all answers he wanted and basically ended up exercising an almost total control over Matt. And the funny thing was that after a while Matt found himself not minding and, strangely enough, relaxing. It was as if something deep inside him was telling him that everything was going to be all right. Tai even insisted on walking him home that night and not a single bully dared to show his face.
Matt was almost happy when he got home that evening. It was nice not having to worry about everything for once. And then he got home and it all flew out the window.
His parents were packing up only recently unpacked clothing and other essential items into bags. For one heart-stopping moment he thought it was some sort of nightmare, and that they were moving again. Time slowed as his parents looked up and his mother's mouth opened to speak.
"Get packing boys," their mother said cheerfully. "We're going away for the weekend."
"But we just got here," complained TK.
"Fine," relented their mother. "You can stay with a friend if you want. Your father and I are going to visit some old acquaintances."
"What about Matt?"
"He can too I suppose. If anyone'll let him. Got anyone in mind Matt?"
Matt was silent for a moment as he weighed his options. He could stay Tai's, completely in the other boy's control, or he could go and be tortured by his parents. No choice really. "I'm sure Tai wouldn't mind."
"Who's that?"
"The boy you saw at the hospital last night."
"Oh. He seemed awfully...I don't know."
"I was gonna go there too. Tai's little sister Kari and I are friends," TK put in.
She gave in gracefully. "All right, as long as it's all right with their parents."
"I'll call right now," said TK as he set of for their newly connected phone. Matt also left, heading for his room to pack his clothes. He didn't want to be in that house a minute longer then necessary. TK stuck his head in just as he was finishing.
"They'll be here to pick up in a minute. We'll be staying all weekend, until Monday morning."
"'K. I'm gonna go outside and wait for them."
"I'll be out n a minute. Send Kari in if they get here before I'm ready."
"Will do."
Matt walked out, bid a short farewell to his parents, and went out front to wait. Tai arrived shortly after with Kari on his motorcycle. "TK's still getting ready," he announced. Both hopped off, Kari removing her helmet expertly.
"I'll go get him."
She then headed for the front door, knocked politely and gained admittance. Matt stood there awkwardly until Tai finally spoke. "Hop on. Kari was planning on walking with TK. It's not really that far. I just thought you could drop your stuff off at home and then I could show you around town. You know, since you're new here and everything."
"Whatever." Matt put on the helmet and sat down on the cycle behind Tai without touching him. Tai waited a moment for him to hold on, but when it seemed evident he wasn't going to, Tai turned around.
"Hold on," he instructed and Matt, once again captivated by his deep brown eyes, obeyed.
They were at Tai's house within minutes. Tai parked his bike outside while they went in and dropped off Matt's stuff. Tai entered the apartment confidently, with Matt trailing along behind. Tai's parents looked up as they entered the room and smiled greetings. "Is this your friend Tai?" his mother asked. Tai nodded.
"Yup, this is Yamato Ishida. We all call him Matt though."
"Nice to meet you Matt." Matt shot Tai a wry look and nodded politely.
"We were just gonna drop off Matt's stuff and then take a ride around town since Matt's new here. Any objections? Speak now or forever hold your peace."
"Go right ahead. Just be back before dark."
"Sure thing. See you later!"
Tai showed Matt where to put his stuff, then ushered him back to the motorcycle. They were gone less than five minutes after they arrived. Tai drove them all over the town, pointing out the coffee shop, pizza parlor, various fast food restaurants, the movie theater, Eastside Mall, and the park.
They stopped to take a short walk at the last. Tai mentioned in passing that it was named for some guy that gave money in order for it to be built, but confessed sheepishly that he never could remember it. Matt had to smile at that. It was so typical of the boy he'd come to know in the time they'd spent together, short as that was.
The park itself was nothing special. It was situated next to the river that ran through the center of Santa Monica. There was a playground with swings and other amusements for young children. Trees, flowers, benches and paths made up the rest of it small area. It was pretty and peaceful to be sure, but nothing special at all. Matt liked it though. It reminded him of another park he'd played in as a small child, before the first move.
By the time they reached the park though, the sun was rapidly approaching the horizon and darkness creeping up slowly but surely and they didn't have time to linger. They barely made it back to Tai's house before darkness.
Matt had no clue what to expect from Tai's parents. At first glance they looked like one of those families you see on TV, all cheerful and bubbly and sickeningly happy. As the night progressed however he began to notice little things that made them not quite so perfect, like Mrs. Kamiya's cooking with fungus obsession, or how Tai's father would always put his feet on the end table in front of him instead of bothering to put up the chair.
Their house wasn't as scrupulously clean as one on TV would have been either. There were two rows of lines with dates as marks of Tai and Kari's growth over the years, and a clutter of magazines on the end table. Miko, their pet cat, tipped over the garbage can once looking for something to lay with, much to Mrs. Kamiya's disapproval. No, their house was far from perfect, but it was comfortable and happy, which seemed more important to Matt in the long run.
TK and Kari disappeared into Kari's room soon after they ate supper to surf the Internet and hang out. Matt and Tai stayed in the living room to watch a movie with Tai's parents. After it was over they headed for Tai's room to play video games. Tai beat Matt numerous times, but Matt kept trying and improved with each game, even managing to defeat Tai a couple times, just enough to keep it interesting.
As the night grew old they began to get tired however and a little after midnight they determined that it was time to get some sleep, or at least relax a little. It was decided that they both would sleep on the floor and sleeping bags were pulled out of the closet, which they gratefully crawled into, as the night was growing chill. They stayed up a couple hours after that, talking. Tai regaled Matt with stories about this and that, and Matt even ventured to tell Tai a little about the friends he had left behind at his old home.
Tai dropped off to sleep at around 2:30 in the morning and Matt didn't wake him, remembering he had been sick. Matt stayed awake for a short while longer, pondering how it was that Tai could make him feel so safe and wanted with such apparent ease. But after a while he dismissed the mystery and followed Tai to the land of the dreams where they met up again, finding each other with an ease that belied their short acquaintance. And once they were together again they joined hands and laughed until they cried at everything: life, death, and in between.
Saturday passed in a blur of happiness for Matt. They went to the movies and afterwards ate at the pizza parlor where they met up with the rest of the gang. They walked in talking and laughing soon after Kari and TK arrived with a disparate bunch of friends.
There was bouncy and loud Davis, enthusiastic and geeky Yolei, quiet and observant Cody, and silent but smiling Ken with a sensible older brother called Sam being pulled along behind. Sam was objecting rather fiercely too.
"Ken, I have to study! I have an important test coming up soon!" Sam was saying as the seven of them entered. Ken just shook his head in denial and smiled a little bit more. Davis spoke for him.
"Studying all the time isn't good for you. I never study, and look at me!" The others burst out laughing at that.
"Bad example!" crowed Yolei. Davis grinned and shrugged. Apparently he was used to that sort of thing. They settled in at a table next to Matt and Tai, youthful exuberance in every gesture.
Matt smiled to see TK so happy. Maybe this move wasn't such a bad thing after all. Tai noticed his smile and sighed. I wish he'd smile like that about me, he though wistfully. Then he shook himself. I'm not giving up that easily though. Not by a long shot.
He looked up just in time to see everyone in the group he would usually hang out with enter. Joe and Izzy were carrying on an animated conversation about something that was probably so technical that Tai would only understand one word in ten. Mimi was complaining about something or other while Sora nodded her head sympathetically.
When they spotted Matt and Tai they immediately made themselves right at home, Joe and Izzy dragging over chairs from other tables to sit at either end and Mimi and Sora claiming the seats beside Matt and Tai, respectively. They expressed surprise at finding them together *alone* and were going to elaborate but Tai shot them each a specially crafted 'if you don't shut up now I'm going to kill you later' glare and they hastily shut up.
Matt noticed the exchange and raised an eyebrow inquisitively, but kept silent. A waitress soon came over and took their order, speaking to them in a friendly manner that spoke plainly of their frequent patronage of the restaurant. Tai introduced her easily as Nina, and then told her the usual would be fine. She nodded, understanding perfectly.
The others filled the fifteen minutes or so until the food arrived with playful banter, even managing to draw Matt into the fun a couple times as he became more accustomed to them and more comfortable in their presence.
Matt discovered when the food arrived that 'the usual' was three pizzas with all different types of toppings. One was half pepperoni, and half pepperoni and sausage, another had anchovies on one half and onions, peppers, and sun dried tomatoes on the other half, and one half of one was covered by toppings that Matt couldn't see the cheese underneath while the other half had only extra cheese.
Nina quickly gave a slice to each teen, making sure each got the right kind. Matt watched with interest as she gave Joe a slice of pepperoni, Sora the one with anchovies, Mimi the pepper/onion/sun-dried tomato type, Tai the topping covered one, and Izzy the pepperoni and sausage. Nina then paused and glanced at Matt inquiringly.
"What do you want dear?"
"The plain cheese will be fine thank you"
She nodded, dished out one last slice, set it down in front of him and said "Enjoy yourselves dears," before bustling off to serve some other customers.
They ate in silence for several minutes, the only sounds the hum of conversation from the other customers and an occasional slurp from Tai which earned him several sharp glances and a kick in the shins from Sora and Mimi.
Tai finished first, leaning back in his seat with a sigh and belching loudly enough to draw stares from the entire restaurant until he sheepishly said, "Excuse me please." Sora and Mimi looked horrified, and even Izzy and Joe looked slightly embarrassed but they let it pass without comment. Matt grinned.
"You'll have to excuse him folks," he announced in loud voice. "He has some mental issues." Tai nodded.
"Yup, I'm a smart one all right."
"Sure thing Tai. You're right up there with the pizza you just ate and the doorknob on my parent's door."
"You're insulting the doorknob," sniffed Mimi. The people of the restaurant laughed and shook their heads.
The others finished eating quickly after that, sighing contentedly to have their stomachs full of warm food.
"That worked rather well," observed Izzy as he surveyed the three empty pizza platters on the table.
"Yeah. Guess Matt fits just about perfectly," added Tai in an inordinately pleased sounding voice. The others nodded and smiled at Matt, understanding what Tai was trying to do.
"We'd really like to be your friends Matt," said Sora for all of them. Matt blinked suddenly blurry eyes. These people that he didn't even know very well, were telling him they liked and accepted him. He hadn't been expecting anything like this when he learned he was moving. He'd never suspected that something so wonderful could happen to him.
At his old school he'd been pretty much a loner, never really getting involved in others his age. He'd had only one true friend; a girl named Tani, and one of the nicest people he'd ever known. She'd pulled him willingly into her circle of friends and did her best to make him feel welcome. That had only happened in the last two months though. Before then he'd drifted from one group to another, never really fitting in.
He didn't even really fit in with Tani and her friends. They had made him feel as welcome as humanly possible but he still felt uncomfortable. Then he'd completely alienated them before he left. They most likely never wanted to see him again. The others noticed the tears in his eyes and exchanged glances.
"He must have been very isolated in his old school," said Izzy in a whisper that carried to their ears and nowhere else. Joe laid a sympathetic hand on Matt's shoulder.
"We understand," he merely said, but at those simple words Matt felt himself slipping closer and closer to breaking down and crying right tin the middle of the pizza parlor.
"You guys...thank you," he said, doing his best to hold on to what was left of his dignity. Matt felt Tai take his hand under the table and smiled at the reassuring gesture. The others noticed and exchanged knowing looks.
Nina startled them all by slapping the bill down on the table as she walked by, breaking the mood as they all burst out laughing at the expressions on each other's faces. Joe, Sora and Tai split the bill since they were the only ones who had money with them. Matt, Izzy and Mimi agreed to pick up the tab next time. No one protested.
Everyone parted after that, each heading for his or her separate home. Matt and Tai went back to Tai's house to find Tai's parents just finishing their own supper. After a couple minutes of meaningless small talk they excused themselves and retired to Tai's room to watch TV. There was a Farscape marathon on the Sci-fi Channel which they watched several hours of before going to bed and promptly falling asleep.
The next day passed in a more relaxed way. They slept late, went to church at ten, ate lunch. After lunch Tai dug out a couple pairs of inline skates and coaxed Matt into letting himself be taught. They spent the afternoon laughing and falling down since Tai got pulled down many times by a falling Matt. They enjoyed themselves thoroughly though, despite the numerous strange looks they received from others in the park.
Supper was some sandwiches Tai had packed from home. The sun set soon after that and Matt used his newly acquired skill at inline skating to get back to Tai's as quickly as possible in the fading light. They arrived flushed and out of breath but laughing again.
As they passed through the living room Tai's parents exchanged glances. They weren't blind, despite what their children might think. They saw quite clearly what was going on and approved whole-heartedly. They had seen what a grim and silent creature Yamato Ishida had been when he arrived on Friday night. It was a far cry from the laughing and joyful boy they saw now. If it took their son to make that happen, then so be it. As long as Tai was happy, and he quite obviously was. He literally glowed every time Matt showed the slightest hint of happiness at being in his presence. And they trusted Tai.
Nevertheless, they decided silently as they watched Tai casually brush up against Matt with smoldering eyes; they'd keep an ear open tonight for any strange sounds...they didn't want anything untoward happening. And nothing did. Their faith in Tai was justified, at least in their opinions.
Morning and a return to the boring monotony of school came too soon for Matt and Tai. They kept themselves occupied though by making snide remarks about various things, often bursting out laughing at seemingly nothing and earning glares from sourpuss teachers and suspicious fellow students. In this way school became more fun than it had been in years.
After school had ended, Matt took a chance and accepted Tai's invitation to roller blade in the park for a short while. After they had sufficiently wore themselves out they plopped, exhausted, onto the ground where they'd had their picnic the previous day.
Matt laid back contentedly. For what seemed like the first time in his life he was truly happy. It felt like heaven. He wished it would never end.
Tai gazed ahead of him pensively, occasionally stealing glances at the blonde boy beside him. He hadn't been quite sure before, but after the past two days his doubts had faded away to be replaced by calm certainty. He was truly, madly, deeply in love with Yamato Ishida. And he had quite reasonably come to the conclusion that he only had one option from this point on; he had to confess. He just wasn't quite sure how to approach the task without having the other boy slip from his grasp like an elusive wisp of fog. He just couldn't allow that to happen, because while coming to terms with his love for Matt he had reached another conclusion.
Now that he had found him, life without him would be nigh unto impossible. It simply wasn't an option; he had to have Matt in his life, no matter what. Which presented the real problem. It seemed inevitable. Tai would confess, Matt would bolt, Tai would corner him and try to talk sense in him, Matt would bolt, Tai would follow him, Matt would bolt...you get the picture.
Unless I'm the one who leaves, thought Tai in a sudden flash of inspiration. If Matt had been looking at Tai he would have seen a devilish grin upon his face that would have had him instantly on edge. As it was however, he had his eyes closed and so had no inkling of the dangerous emotional territory coming up.
"Matt? I think we need to talk." The serious note to Tai's voice had Matt sitting up and alert almost immediately, but it gave him no real indication of what was coming next.
He looked at Tai and found himself captivated by the strange look in Tai's eyes. His mind came to a dead standstill, so the only answer he could manage was "huh?"
Tai felt the impulse to immediately burst out laughing at the undignified way that Matt had responded in and restrained himself. Insulting Matt was not going to help any here, and anyway, he knew that the only reason he wanted to laugh was because he was nervous. This had to be the most nerve-wracking experience in his life.
"Um, well, I'm not too sure how to say this and I never was too good at beating around the bush, but ...well, here it is. I know we haven't known each other for a very long time but, at the risk of sounding corny, I love you with all my heart and soul."
Then, not giving Matt a chance to respond, Tai leaned in and kissed Matt on the lips. It had to have been the most amazing experience in his entire life, at least up until this particular point in time. It was Christmas, and the first snow of the season, and scoring a goal at the biggest game of the year, and getting something right after many failed attempts all rolled into one. He was hot and cold at the same time, he was dreaming yet the world had never seemed so real.
He deepened the kiss, wanting more, wanting to taste every inch of the sweetness that was Yamato Ishida. Tongues met and whirled in an intricate dance of passion. Tai felt his control slipping. He almost couldn't bring himself to care...almost. But no, he had to stop. He wasn't ready for the alternative. And so he pulled back, reluctantly relinquishing the eager mouth beneath his.
Matt opened passion-filled eyes and gazed at Tai in confusion. His brain was malfunctioning badly. Why had he stopped? It felt so nice...Then something clicked. Another guy had just kissed him! Even worse, another guy had just frenched him. Worse yet, all this had happened and he hadn't even stopped it. Instead, he'd enjoyed it! A lot.
Then he looked at Tai and his thought processes once again slowed. His mind fumbled briefly after the anger he should have felt then stopped, trying to grasp what it was he should be angry about. Some tiny part of him that he identified as something called "prejudices" finally whispered what it was he was searching for and he grabbed hold of it eagerly, examining it from all angels.
Guys are supposed to kiss girls, not other guys. Guys kissing guys is just wrong. But how could something wrong feel so right? He just didn't understand...
Tai watched Matt's confused eyes for any hint of what he was feeling but found only confusion. It was as he thought. Matt wasn't ready.
"I understand Matt. You're not ready. That's okay. I can wait while you decided what you want. I want you to be completely sure of your feelings before you give me your answer. So you think about it, and search your heart for the answers. You'll find them there. Until then, I'll see you tomorrow."
Matt watched through still dazed eyes as Tai got to his feet and walked off, heading in the direction of his home. He just didn't know what to do. He sat where he was, stunned, for about ten minutes before he gathered his wits enough to think to return home.
As soon as he walked in the door his parents were upon him, scolding and chiding and shaking disapproving fingers in his face. His eyes didn't see them though. Instead, he saw in his mind's eye the sincere expression on Tai's face as he confessed his feelings to him. His parents finally gave up on yelling at him and let him go to his room.
He flopped on his bed and stared unseeingly at the wall. Matt closed his eyes to go over the entire scene in the park. He was vaguely aware of TK entering the room and hesitantly saying his name but couldn't bring himself to care. A hand shook his shoulder and he opened his eyes briefly to see his brother's concerned face hovering in front of him.
TK seemed to be asking a question but Matt was having trouble concentrating so it took a couple of attempts before he understood that he was asking, "Where were you?"
Matt made what seemed to him an incredible effort to answer and replied, "With Tai. At the park. Now go away. Wanna be alone." TK looked about ready to protest but then apparently thought better of it and left for places unknown.
Matt sat up after he was gone. His eyes fell immediately on the guitar case propped up against the wall across the room. Without thinking he got up, grabbed the case, and exited his room. His parents and TK were nowhere in sight so he escaped without annoying and distracting questions from all quarters.
Once he got outside, he just chose a direction and started walking with no real destination in mind except to find a quiet place to play some music and sort out his feelings. He couldn't have said how long he walked but he eventually ended up at what he had come to think of as his and Tai's spot, the park. He settled down at a bench by a blooming rosebush and took out his guitar, caressing its strings and checking to be sure it was in tune with loving care.
After making some minor adjustments he was ready to play. One song in particular seemed to come to mind. Without any decision involving conscious thought he began to play, then to sing, his voice full of longing. He knew the song so well that as he sang his eyes drifted shut.
"In Santa Monica, in the winter time,
The lazy streets so undemanding,
I walk into the crowd
In Santa Monica, you get your
coffee from
The coolest places on the
promenade
Where people dress just so
Beauty so unavoidable, everywhere
you turn
It's there
I sit and wonder what am I
doing here?
But on the telephone line I
am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I could be a super model or
Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the
difference
Or would you?
In Santa Monica, all the people got
modern names
Like Jake or Mandy
And modern bodies too
In Santa Monica, on the boulevard,
You'll have to dodge those
in-line skaters
Or they'll knock you down
I never felt so lonely,
Never felt so out of place
I never wanted something more
than this
But on the telephone line I
am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I could be a super model or
Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know
the difference
On the telephone line,I am
any height
I am any age I want to be
I could be a caped crusader, or
space invader
And you wouldn't know the difference
Or would you?"
As the last strains of the music faded into silence, loud applause cut through the reverie singing put Matt into. He opened his eyes to find that he had attracted quite a crowd, which was now causing all the racket. He blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment. He'd had no idea he had an audience.
e efficiently returned his guitar to its case, praying for the crowd to leave. His prayers were granted as, seeing there would be no more music forthcoming, the crowd began to disperse until all but one person had left. Matt looked up, expecting to find his solitude restored. Instead he met a familiar pair of blue-green eyes.
T-tani?" he stammered out. (A/N: This isn't intended to be a self-insert. I'm just too lazy to think up a new name. ^_^0)
In the flesh," her cheerful voice answered.
What are you doing here?" Matt asked, focusing intensely on the ground so as to avoid meeting her knowing eyes.
I came to see you Matt. We need to talk. And don't you even think about saying no. I'm not giving up until I get what I want and you know how stubborn I am." Matt nodded assent, still not meeting her eyes. Tani sighed. "You're not gonna make this easy for me are you?" Tani settled on the bench beside Matt. "I understand why you did it, why you were so cruel. The others thought you were just showing your true colors or something. I wasn't sure, but then I heard you moved and I understood. You just didn't want to say good-bye so you pushed us all away.
I know you were trying to do the right thing, but ultimately you just made it worse. Now our last memories of you are bad ones...well I've got news for you! I'm not letting that happen. We're still friends. Everyone else was busy and couldn't come this time but we're all gonna visit. We miss you. That wasn't my only reason for coming though. I also wanted to make sure you were happy in your new home." Matt looked up and met her eyes.
"I'm happy."
Tani grinned. "Now that's more like it! Of course, you're using the 'butt out, it's none of your business' look but at least you're talking. Moving on, you're lying. That's a problem. Talk to me Matt. Tell me what's wrong."
Matt looked down again. He was silent for a long moment and Tani was afraid he wasn't going to tell her. But then, "I'm so confused. I don't know what to do."
"What's the problem?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"You'll hate me."
Tani's forehead wrinkled in thought. She had a feeling she was missing something here, but she couldn't quite grasp what. She looked into Matt's eyes and saw a sadness there that made a vision flash before her of brown eyes with that same look. "Does it have anything to do with that boy I saw?" Matt looked at her sharply when she said this so she continued to act on her hunch. "With the wild brown hair and beautiful brown eyes?"
"You always were a sucker for eyes," commented Matt flippantly. He avoided her eyes though, and that was enough answer for her. She decided to hazard a guess.
"Are you in love with him?" Then, in a burst of inspiration, "Or is he in love with you and you don't know what you feel? Makes sense. Explains that look he had and why you're so confused."
"How'd you do that?" asked Matt in amazement before he could stop himself. Tani shrugged.
"Played it by ear. So now will you tell me about it?" Matt hesitated for several seconds but she wasn't worried. She knew she had him exactly where she wanted him.
"I suppose it doesn't matter," he muttered, then continued reluctantly. "His name is Taichi Kamiya, Tai for short. I met him on my first day here."
"At school?" Tani prompted.
"No, we- Sora, Mimi, Joe, Izzy, TK, Kari and I- were walking home from school when these bullies surrounded us, just being jerks like all their type. Anyway, one pushed me, I broke my wrist."
"I see."
"Tai comes running in, scares off the bullies, and takes me to the hospital. He was really nice about everything too from what I remember. I went into shock for a little, but anyway, he seemed genuinely concerned. Then him and his group spent the next day protecting me from the rest of the school. That night my parents give me a choice, go with them to visit some friends of theirs or spend the weekend at Tai's. I chose the latter. We had fun, went inline skating, movies, pizza parlor...I laughed the most I have in a long time."
"Then what?"
Matt jumped. He had momentarily forgotten she was there. Then he sighed. He wasn't having fun. It was really hard for him to speak so openly about things he considered private. "We decided to go inline skating for a little while after school today. We sat down to rest and then he...he told me that h...he l..loved me, then he...well, for lack of a more delicate phrase, he frenched me."
Tani grimaced at the indelicate phrasing, then decided to let it pass without comment. "And?"
"Then he stood up, said something about me not being ready, and left."
"Well what are you going to do?"
"I, uh..."
"And don't tell me you don't know. Just follow you heart. What is it telling you to do?" She got no response. "Fine. Let's try something different. Since this situation is really getting to you, and you're totally obsessing here, I'm gonna assume that you love Tai also. So I guess my task is to convince you of how much better your life will be if he's in it. All I want you to do is answer my questions and listen to what I'm saying. Can you handle that?"
Matt almost nodded, then seemed to think better of it and stopped himself.
"I'll take that for a we'll see. This is all purely hypothetical, so just play along. Let's pretend you're a girl for a minute. What would you say about Tai's looks? Just the first thing that pops into your head."
"Cute I guess."
"Right. And on the same note, what kind of boyfriend would he make?"
"Loving and devoted. Fun."
"Then- if you were a girl- would you go out with him?"
"In a heartbeat."
"Now you're back to your normal guy self. So tell me, are you gay?"
"Y-Possibly."
"Yes then. So what would be wrong with not going out with Tai?"
"Everybody would hate me."
"Do you have any friends here beside Tai?"
"Yeah."
"Are they friends with Tai too?"
"Yeah."
"Do they seem open minded to you?"
"Yeah. They're some of the nicest people I've ever known."
"What does the rest of the school think of you?"
"Probably hate me or just don't know me and don't care."
"Do you think they'd be any different if they knew you were gay?"
"More hateful."
"And your friends? How would they react? Hate you?"
"Probably nothing would change."
"So if you told Tai and things worked out nothing would change too much. Your relationship with the rest of the world would be pretty much the same."
"Guess so."
"But on the upside, you'd have Tai, who you admit would make a loving, devoted and fun boyfriend. You'd probably be very happy."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because you're miserable right now without him. Now the way I see it, you have two options. What do you think they are?"
"I'm alone and miserable because everyone hates me, or I'm happy with Tai and we make our own little world where no one else's opinion matters."
"Couldn't have said it better myself," said Tani in a tone of voice that suggested she was tutoring a somewhat dense student who had finally gotten a very simple problem correct. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"
Matt looked at her and she saw his decision in his eyes. "I think you're making the right choice."
"I hope so. I don't think I could stand it if I was wrong."
"You want me to come with you?"
"No, that's okay. You probably should be going."
"K. Don't be a stranger. Friendships don't have to end just because there's a little space between you."
"I think I know that now."
"Goodbye Matt. See you around sometime," Tani said as she headed for her car, waving at him cheerfully.
"Bye." Matt waved back and smiled, conveying with that one facial expression the thanks he couldn't express in words. Then, as she rapidly became a small figure indistinguishable from those around her he dismissed her from his mind.
Turning in the opposite direction he resolutely began walking toward Tai's house. Time passed with excruciating slowness. Every step seemed to take months, years, decades even. So agonizingly slow was the journey to Tai's house that by the time Matt actually arrived there he almost felt ready for what would come next. Almost being the key word. Still, it was now or never. Matt knew he'd never again work up the courage to do this, not if he waited a million years.
He knocked softly, then waited a few moments. When no answer seemed forthcoming he almost lost all his nerve then and there but Tai's face floated in front of his eyes and instead he steeled himself and knocked harder. The door opened this time and Mrs. Kamiya's face appeared from behind it.
"Oh hello Matt. Come right in. Tai's in his room, hopefully doing his homework."
Matt smiled nervously and followed Tai's mother into the apartment. In the living room Tai's father looked up briefly from the day's paper to smile, then returned his gaze to the sports article he was reading. Kari, doing dishes in the kitchen, also smiled at him but didn't comment.
"Go right in, I'm sure Tai won't mind," encouraged Mrs. Kamiya. Matt gulped but forced himself on. He paused slightly before the door, pondering what to do, then knocked lightly as a form of warning and without waiting for a reply, entered the room.
As Matt walked in Tai lifted his head from the desk where it had fallen and looked at Matt groggily. It took Matt a moment to realize that Tai had fallen asleep while doing his homework, but when it finally sunk in, he laughed. Tai looked indignant for a second, then reluctantly joined in. The laughter didn't last long though and when it died down both boys looked serious.
Uncomfortable silence fell over them for several minutes. The boys just looked at each other solemnly, neither prepared to make the first move. Tai cleared his throat and broke the awkward silence. "Have you decided?"
Matt nodded speechlessly, struggling to find the right words for what he wanted to say. The silence stretched again. Hope and despair fought for control in Tai's eyes. Hope argued that the very fact that Matt was there so soon indicated that he loved Tai back. But despair turned that around by countering that perhaps it merely meant that Tai wasn't even important enough to consider.
As the agonizing silence grew longer Matt finally took a deep breath and spoke. "I suppose you've already guessed that I don't get along well with my parents and haven't had any read friends for a while. I've always had problems getting close to people, and it's just gotten worse as I've got older. In fact, people seemed to find it very amusing to gang up on me and beat me up. It was a common occurrence at my last school for years. Happened at least once a month. The only reason I had any friends at all at my old school was because a girl named Tani moved there a month or two ago and she helped me out. That's beside the point though. What I'm trying to say is I don't make friends easily, and love? It's always been some unattainable goal I would never reach. Sure TK loves me, but in a brotherly way, not a loverly one. I thought that even if I did fall in love with someone, they'd never love me back. I was pretty well convinced I was worthless.
Then I came here and met you, and I found myself slipping, losing my loner attitude that I'd cultivated so long. I didn't want to be alone anymore. And you were the reason for that. I found myself caring more and more for you. I tried to ignore it, tried to make it stop, but it was too late.
Earlier this afternoon you said you weren't very good at beating around the bush. Well, I think it's time for me to stop doing just that. I don't know how or why, but I love you Tai Kamiya. And that's all there is to it. No matter how much I may try to deny it, it's still right there. I love you."
Matt anxiously scanned Tai's face for any sign of what he was thinking, praying to anything that was listening that it all hadn't been some kind of cruel joke. Then Tai's face lit up with joy and Matt felt a heavy weight lift from his soul. It was the most amazing feeling, even better than when Tai had kissed him earlier. It was like he had been watching everyone else fly around all his life, longing to soar overhead like they did but unable to because he was chained to the ground and every time he began to rise into the air his shackles would bring him down. But now he was free and unchained, flying through the air. And it was even better than he had imagined because he wasn't alone.
Tai caught the gist of this in his face and felt his joy increase at having made his loved one happy. Silence pervaded the room once again as they both just basked in the joy of being young and in love, no matter what hardships may come. Faint noises from the living room TV drifted in.
"This feels good," said a somewhat distorted voice. The boys exchanged glances and then burst out laughing.
"What...hehe...was...haha...that?" gasped out Matt as he regained a little control over himself.
"Dr. Dolittle I think," answered Tai, shaking with suppressed mirth. "Sums it up pretty good huh?"
"Sure does. I never knew I could be this happy," Matt said, serious to the core all at once.
Tai inched closer to Matt, then wrapped an arm round Matt, pulling him close. "Well I'm glad I could be the one to make you feel that way." Matt leaned contentedly against him and sighed.
"I wish this would never end."
"It doesn't have to."
"But we can't be open about this. I know that if my parents ever found out they'd do something drastic. Probably like move to another country or something. I think they already have something against you. They weren't too happy about me spending the weekend here."
"I think I have the perfect solution to that. But first...you don't have any objections to telling the others do you? I think- know- that they already have their suspicions about us. And I also know that they'll honestly be happy for us."
"I don't know..."
"Plus, they could help us out. You know, get Sora or Mimi to pretend to go out with you to keep your parents happy." Matt perked up a little at this suggestion.
"That might work-"
"It will work. You shouldn't worry so much. Relax a little."
"But-"
"No buts."
"So what if-"
"No ifs either!"
"And maybe-"
"No and maybes! Honestly! Do you never shut up?!"
"Nope. Guess you're just gonna have to shut me up!" Matt lifted his head from Tai's shoulder where he had let it fall and smiled slyly as Tai finally got what he'd been driving at. Tai shook his head at Matt's clever ploy to get what he wanted.
Their lips met in a searing expression of their love for each other and the world around them faded away. Why should they hear something so inconsequential as someone knocking on the door?
Mrs. Kamiya waited as patiently as she possibly could for an answer, knocking repeatedly louder and louder until she was practically pounding on the door. Minutes passed and still no one answered. Finally, with a fatalistic shrug she gave up and just walked right in. What she saw shocked her, but not as much as you might expect. Nevertheless her quiet gasp was more effective at gaining the two boy's attention than any other amount of racket.
They pulled apart so quickly that she almost didn't see them move. Just one second they were in one place, clinging together like there was no tomorrow and the next they were at opposite ends of the bed from each other. She stood there a moment, attempting to gather her scattered thoughts and deal with this in a diplomatic fashion.
"I think we need to talk," she stated calmly. Tai was on his feet in an instant, puppy eyes turned on full.
"You're not going to tell Matt's parents are you?"
Two pairs of pleading eyes, one brown and one blue, turned on her, making her feel like she should just wither away for any unhappiness she had caused. She took an involuntary step backward, then masked it by continuing on out the door and into the kitchen, glancing back every step or two to make sure they were following. And follow they did, trading apprehensive looks.
Matt looked especially scared until finally Tai took his hand to reassure him and he calmed down a little. After seeing the boys safely seated in the kitchen she went to fetch Tai's father, explaining the situation to him in a discreet whisper.
Kari trailed along behind them, caught in a fit of boredom and curiosity. She thought about pretending to be making herself a snack while eavesdropping, but discarded that idea in favor of a more direct approach. Since there was currently only four chairs at the table, all taken, she dropped to the floor and positioned herself comfortably. This better be interesting or I'm going to go call TK instead, she thought unhappily.
An uncomfortable silence stretched and she was almost ready to give up when Tai took the initiative.
"Let's just be blunt about this shall we? Matt and I are in love with each other and plan on staying that way. Any objections?"
"None dear. We just wanted to tell you that we support the two of you wholeheartedly. I guess we were just having a little trouble getting it out. We didn't mean to make you nervous."
"You aren't telling my parents are you?" asked Matt fearfully. He had finally found a place where he felt he belonged and he didn't want to lose it so soon.
"That's your decision. However, we would like to know your reasons behind not telling them," stated Mr. Kamiya sensibly.
Matt looked relieved and answered in a grateful tone of voice. "They hate me, they really do. Their only purpose in life seems to be making my life miserable. And I'm not making it up out of some childish pique. They're so cold and disapproving toward me...they act like I'm some annoying relative that's overstayed his welcome but won't leave. I always feel so unwanted that I try to avoid any contact at all. And i just know they'd ruin this for me."
Tai nodded agreement, then added his own two cents. "They acted like they didn't even care when Matt was at the hospital."
"Yeah, I saw them. They just stalked in, not a bit of worry on their faces, then got out as quickly as possible. TK was really steamed because they acted like they didn't even care," Kari piped up from the floor.
The Kamiyas considered the evidence, then sighed. They didn't want to believe anyone could be so cruel and uncaring but they knew their children well enough to know that they weren't lying. "Anyway, we just wanted to let you know that you could come to us for anything, no matter what."
"Thank you," Matt whispered, feeling his eyes fill up with tears.
"You guys are the greatest," reinforced Tai, squeezing Matt's hand happily.
"Are you guys gonna tell the others?" Kari asked Matt and Tai.
"Of course," they said in unison, then grinned at each other.
"So is this little family conference type thing officially over?" continued Tai energetically. "Cause if it is then I wouldn't mind getting back to what I was doing before. Did I mention I was enjoying myself quite thoroughly? Well, for your information, I was. Matt's got quite a mouth and he sure does know how to use it!"
"Tai!" exclaimed Kari. "That was just a little too much information there!"
Tai's parents had started out looking a little uncomfortable but at Kari's indignant squawk the humor of the situation hit them and they burst out laughing, exactly the effect Kari had been going for.
Matt blushed beet red. Tai's eyes lit on him and he made a decision righ then and there. He was going to have to embarrass Matt at least once a day, just to see that kawaii look on his face.
Tai's parents got up and staggered out of the room, still laughing.
Kari climbed to her feet, boredom abolished, and turned to go, then turned back around and winked. "Have fun playing tonsil hockey you two!" Matt glared at her and she bounded out of the room, full of new energy.
The boys also stood up after she had left and headed once again to Tai's room, arms companionably around each other's waists. Once they were in the room, Matt fell backward onto Tai's bed with a relieved sigh.
"There's actually a chance that this whole thing might someday work out, isn't there?" he asked with more than a hint of wonder in his voice.
"Of course," replied Tai, settling on the bed also, albeit a little more carefully. Matt pulled Tai down beside him and cuddled closer. Tai obliged by putting his arms around him, then continuing his thought. "As long as we're together, nothing is ever as bad as it seems. What's a year or two of waiting compared to the prospect of having you with me for the rest of our lives?"
"Do you promise?"
"I swear by all that I hold dear, yourself at the top of that particular list, that we're going to be together forever and beyond."
"You know, a week ago I would have said stuff like that can never happen, especially not to me. But you know what? I believe you now. Forever and beyond almost doesn't seem enough now, but it'll have to do."