========================================
Role Reversal
By Sefilin
========================================
Disclaimers: Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing copyright Sunrise,
Bandai, Sotsu Agency
Dedicated, as always, to Kellryn.
==========
Chapter Four
==========
JULIAN'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
Duo, once more, found himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling,
trying to sleep. And once more, he was unable to, though with more
reason this time.
He was currently lying in Julian's large, soft bed, covered in
fine linen sheets and tracing the gilt edges of the panelling on the
ceiling. He decided they were more interesting than the plain tiles
on the other ceiling, but were bound to get boring as the night
progressed.
And there was less likely to be escape from this room.
He'd run an eye over the mansion's security earlier and
sneaking out would almost be more trouble than it was worth,
requiring either jimmying open the window without setting off an
alarm or making it outside without waking anyone else. And with
Heero in the next room, he was unlikely to make it very far.
Everyone had decided earlier, that Duo had to be Julian, no
matter how much he objected and that would require him learning more
of politics, diplomacy, absolute pacifism and manners than he'd ever
wanted. Unlike Relena though, he wouldn't have to everything by
himself as Milliard had as much to do with the peace process as he
himself did. Which was good as far as it went, but everyone was
going to do their best to keep him from blowing things up in the
meantime.
They probably wouldn't even let him carry his knife around...
well a substitute for his knife anyway. The charade had to be
perfect.
Like that would be possible, given his propensity for cheerful
violence and street-wise-ness.
So, starting tomorrow he was being left in his brother's
capable hands and the training would begin; deportment, articulation,
society manners, hierarchies of various kinds, wine tasting, food
recognition (which he might enjoy) and formal dancing. He had a
feeling this was going to be worse than the time the Professor had
made him learn each and every part that went in to making up various
mobile suits in 48 hours.
At least they didn't expect him to do anything until after a
few days training, when he'd know the basics at the very least and
had a chance of pulling this off. Until then, he was officially sick
and confined to his bed.
Which was going to be hell... particularly if he couldn't
sleep.
Sighing to himself at the circular path his thoughts were
beginning to take, Duo tried to drop into a fantasy involving his
Heero, chocolate sauce and silk scarves.
It worked for quite some time.
==========
DUO'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
Heero pulled the car to a stop in front of the hospital Relena
had given him directions to and applied the brake, pausing with his
hand on the door handle before opening it and heading towards the
entrance.
He didn't show it, he never did, but he was worried. More so
than if Duo had just been injured because Relena's report had
indicated mental trauma as well as physical.
For Duo to pretend to be a Peacecraft was one of those
situations he had never been prepared for and he feared that it was
his fault for not letting Duo know how much he cared for him. And
how little he cared for Relena.
So it was up to him to remedy that as far as he could. Maybe
if he showed Duo that he _did_ care a _lot_ he'd snap out of it and
they could head off on their next mission together. Because if he
didn't, Heero didn't know what he'd do.
The nurse at reception pointed him in the right direction and
he headed off down the hallway in search of an elevator, which he
took to the third floor.
The first person he saw when the door opened was Relena,
getting herself a drink from the vending machine a few metres away.
He considered sneaking past the annoying female then decided he owed
her. Unfortunately.
"Relena."
The blonde spun around and smiled widely, "Heero!" she breathed
and moved closer, almost breaching the invisible barriers he always
had set about himself.
Strange, that only two people had ever been beyond them,
ignoring the warning signs, though his reaction to them were as far
apart as possible. Relena he barely kept from strangling most of the
time and Duo he'd welcomed in with open arms, metaphorically
speaking. Though he'd never let the baka know exactly how welcome
he'd been.
Heero paused. Then again maybe he would, after all, that was
likely what the problem with his fellow pilot was.
"You came to see Duo, right? I'll show you to his room,"
Relena beckoned him along the corridor and Heero followed, watching
the numbers on the doors they walked past.
"He still thinks he's Julian Peacecraft and, well, he does seem
different. Why do you think this happened?"
Heero blinked and once more decided he had the ability to kill
this female. Intellectually he knew Duo talked far more, but it
always seemed as though it was Relena who couldn't shut up, and now
she was asking questions he himself was ill equipped to deal with,
even if he thought he knew the answers.
So he shrugged, ignoring the fact that Relena couldn't see the
action and willed her to move faster. He wanted, needed, to see Duo.
They finally turned in at a door guarded by the man Heero
recognised as Relena's chauffeur and he received his first glimpse of
the boy currently calling himself Julian Peacecraft.
He was lying with his eyes closed, chestnut braid draping over
the edge of the bed and the slightest of frowns between his brows.
He was in pain and Heero buried the urge to smooth the wrinkle from
his brow, knowing that its disappearance didn't do anything for the
pain itself.
He walked towards the bed, his eyes trained on Duo's face to
the exclusion of all else.
Then, as he reached out to touch the other pilot, violet-blue
eyes opened and looked at him through a vague blurring of pain. Then
recognition dawned and a forever-sweet smile dawned on the braided
boy's face, his eyes glowing.
"Heero... you came."
"Aa," Heero replied, a little breathless. He'd never seen
_that_ smile on Duo's face before and it made him want to protect the
other person, made him seem more vulnerable than usual, as though,
maybe, he _needed_ Heero. So different from the normal Duo, who was
as changeable as the wind, but self-reliant no matter who he was at
the time.
Relena took a position next to Heero, placing her hand on his
arm and smiling reassuringly down at Duo, "I told you I'd find him."
But Duo's eyes clouded and darkened, his gaze lingering on
Relena's hand where it lay against Heero's arm. A flash of pain
moved through the indigo orbs then his lashes were dropping once more
and lay, a dark shadow on pale skin.
"You did, I suppose, Relena. Thank you," Duo's voice had
dropped to a whisper. "It wasn't something I expected."
Relena frowned, and Heero wondered about what was going on as
he continued to watch his bedridden lover. So far there had been no
indication of her reports that Duo was claiming to be someone he was
not, though there were definitely changes in the boy lying before
him. The smile, the pain, the... Heero blinked. Duo had all of a
sudden become articulate as well as talkative; his accent had changed
a little and now contained something he would describe as 'breeding'.
So maybe this was the evidence he was looking for.
"He's your friend, Duo, why wouldn't I ask him to come?"
A bitter smile touched Duo's mouth and he moved his head back
and forth across the pillow, "Julian, remember? I don't know why you
keep on calling me Duo, but I'm not."
His eyes opened again and looked directly into Heero's eyes,
"I'm _not_ Duo Maxwell. I don't care who you think I am, but I'm
_not_. My name is Julian Peacecraft, my older brother is Milliard
Peacecraft and I live in a mansion in the county of Berlin, Germany,
next door to General Treize Khushrenada..." Duo broke off, his eyes
fracturing. "You don't believe me." It was a statement and Duo
sighed.
"Go away. I have no idea what's going on, but I can't deal
with this right now, so just go away."
Heero reluctantly nodded his agreement, brushing his fingertips
across Duo's knuckles before turning and walking out of the room,
Relena close on his tail.
==========
Relena glanced into Duo's room later on that afternoon, noting
the downcast expression on his rounded face. It was so strange not
to see a smile on the face, she mused, quietly stepping through the
door. She walked closer to the bed, smiling tentatively at the
braided boy when he turned towards her.
Instead of returning it, he turned away, staring unseeing out
the window and Relena sighed.
"Um, Duo, don't you think you're being a little unfair to
Heero?" she asked softly, holding his gaze when he whipped his head
around to stare at her incredulously. "He's your friend, he spent so
much time looking for you and he's worried about you. The least you
can do is let him see you're okay before throwing him out."
Duo frowned and shook his head, "You really think he'd believe
I'm okay when he doesn't believe I'm Julian? Not that you believe
either, but at least I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt
when you say you're Relena Peacecraft, not Relena Maxwell... Which,
by the way, would make you my sister if it were the truth... You and
Heero _could_ pretend to believe me - humour me, call me Julian -
until I've seen a psychologist, psychiatrist or whatever."
"Duo...there's no proof that you're Julian Peacecraft, but
quite a lot that says otherwise. You were badly hurt falling down
the cliff and it _is_ conceivable, to us, that you're projecting,"
Relena stated sympathetically.
She had considered humouring him, but until she had
professional advice to the contrary, she was going to try to bring
back his true memories, by talking to him as if he was Duo.
Violet-blue eyes turned back to the window, "I realise that,
but there's _nothing_ _at_ _all_ that makes me think that's all it
is, except what you and Heero believe. And I'm sorry to say, but at
this point in time, it's not enough, especially given that, according
to my memories, the two of you don't even _like_ me."
Relena sighed, "Okay then, if I pretend you're actually Julian,
can you please pretend I'm Relena _Peacecraft_? You haven't exactly
been very nice to me since you woke up and I'm not used to being
treated like your worst enemy, because I'm _not_. If I do you the
favour of respecting you, will you promise to do the same?"
Duo looked back at her and tilted his head to one side
considering before nodding, "Okay. You have a deal. You don't try
to convince me I'm someone I'm not and I won't try to convince you."
Relena nodded and the two looked at each other for a few
moments until Relena smiled and held out her hand, "Hi, I'm Relena
Peacecraft. Pleased to meet you."
Julian glanced from her smiling blue eyes to her hand and
slowly reached out to take it, "Julian Peacecraft. It's a pleasure."
==========
Over the next week, each of the pilots visited Julian, though
the boy refused to speak to any of them as soon as it became apparent
that they didn't believe him whatever he said. And they weren't
going to follow Relena's example and pretend. Each day he became
more withdrawn, his skin became paler and his recuperation slowed.
Then came the day when Quatre visited to let him know another
mission had come in and they were leaving. Heero would have gone,
still wondering if guilt was the correct emotion for the situation,
but he was needed for the last of the preparations.
The blonde walked into the room, finding Duo sitting up against
the pillows, reading. He looked up from his page and watched as
Quatre moved to stand next to his bed, his sky-blue eyes almost
nervous.
"Duo..." he paused for a second before continuing. "We, myself
and the others, have to go. We have a mission but we'll be back in a
day or two."
Reigning in whatever outburst was trying to make it out of his
throat, Julian nodded graciously and immediately turned back to his
book, ignoring the blonde's presence. He didn't want to know; it was
hard enough that no one believed him. Of everyone Relena was being
the nicest, which, even after their tentative understanding earlier
in the week, made him wonder if maybe they _were_ right and he wasn't
who he thought he was.
But, if they ever _did_ make him believe that, he would be
lost.
So, whenever they visited, he would greet them politely, say
goodbye to them and remain silent for the remainder. That way he
couldn't get into pointless discussions with them regarding who he
was and exactly what had happened to make him that way...
"Look, Duo, you fell down a fifty foot cliff, I'm _sure_ you
knocked your head on a rock or something. It's nothing to be ashamed
of, you couldn't help it, but there's no need to pretend to be like
Relena. Regardless of the way I act, I don't like her and I thought
you knew that. To pretend to be her is stupid, _especially_ if you
think I'll lo-like you more that way," Heero had said the first time
he'd visited Julian alone, getting every word out as quickly as
possible and almost falling over the words in the process. Julian
had come close to laughing at the impassioned, though less than
eloquent speech, until he'd remembered what the topic was.
Julian _did_ allow them to talk when they came, never
interrupting, and found what they had to say endlessly fascinating.
The gundam pilots he knew would never have tolerated him for long
enough to begin talking about some of the things they spoke of. Nor
would they have trusted him enough.
They'd gone over their last mission, originally hoping to help
him remember who he really was. But they had become caught in the
discussion, forgetting he wasn't Duo.
They'd described various last minute changes to the plans and
gone over the tactics they'd each used, throwing ideas around as to
what would have been better. It was a debriefing, Julian noted, and
would help with future situations should they find themselves in
similar difficulties.
Then they'd gone on to talk of the current political situation
and the ramifications of things, both as they stood and how they
would stand, given certain changes being made. Occasionally
digressing, they would turn to more personal conversations, such as
their favourite foods or certain childhood habits, for short periods
of time.
It surprised Julian to note that, once they got started, Heero
and Trowa could talk as much as anyone. He'd never heard them string
more than a few words together before and enjoyed listening to both
boys' voices as he drifted. This also helped disguise the fact that
Julian wasn't as talkative as they claimed Duo was, and had given up
talking all together after Heero's third visit.
Quatre sighed heavily when Julian didn't reply and left with a
quiet goodbye. Julian watched him go with a shadow of sadness in his
eyes.
He turned his book face down across his knees and stared
blindly at the wall, his hand stroking the braid that had been part
of him since he woke up. The heavy mass, more than anything else,
convinced him that he _was_ Julian Peacecraft, not this Duo Maxwell
everyone wanted him to be. Why, if he had selective amnesia and had
convinced himself that he was someone he wasn't, would he not
remember what he _looked_ like, at the very least? He couldn't see
why it would make a difference what he looked like and at no stage
had he ever had hair longer than his shoulders.
And then there was Wufei, the Chinese pilot. Why wouldn't he
remember the other boy when he remembered everyone else? And why did
he have memories of a different, _female_ Chinese pilot instead?
The way things were going though, he was going to be miserable
for however long he was with these doppelgangers of the Gundam pilots
he knew. He blinked as it struck him that he had already allowed
these people to change him and his eyes narrowed.
Maybe that was the point of this entire exercise?
Someone wanted him out of the way, so was going to convince him
he was someone he wasn't, and if that didn't work they would likely
kill him. Thoughts of Treize and Milliard intruded and he wondered
where they were, if they were worrying about him or if they were in
the same position.
A determined gleam entered Julian's eye and a grin teased at
his lips, baring white teeth as he tossed the braid over his shoulder
and sat up straighter.
==========
JULIAN'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
"No!" Duo yelled, slamming the door in Milliard's face and
wedging his foot against it to prevent it being opened. He looked
around for something else to bar entry and made a quick rush for the
desk chair, tucking it firmly under the door handle.
"Duo..." the blonde spoke from beyond the door, menace and
understanding mixed equally in his smooth voice.
"No! I'm sick of this and I refuse to do anything else for the
rest of the day. Go bug someone else."
Silence from behind the door, then: "Duo, I understand that
this is hard, but you need to know this or no one's going to believe
you're Julian. We need you to be there for the talks next week."
Duo refused to answer, glaring at the painted white door,
wishing he could blast it to smithereens with his stare alone. But
he had a way to go to equal Heero's glares yet, let alone develop one
powerful enough to warp wood.
If things carried on as they were, he wasn't going to make it
home, which would be absolutely the worst thing that could happen to
him. Yeah, the pilots were nice and it was great having a brother,
but everyone still had a habit of treating him like Julian when they
weren't thinking, which drove him nuts.
And all he wanted to do just now was to get right away from the
politics and manners he'd been drilled with over the past few days
and cut loose. Steal a mobile suit for a joyride or find himself a
gun and target range, anything that was noisy and _normal_. He'd
even kill for a decent piece of music, something that didn't include
violins and a full orchestra.
"Duo!"
Realising his teeth were tightly clenched and his hands had
formed into something halfway between a fist and a claw, Duo stared
at the door some more, trying to get a hold of his frustration
without success.
"AAAaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!" he tipped his head back a screamed
then stopped, breathing heavily, hands flexing. "I swear..." he
spoke loudly enough to be heard on the other side of the door, "I
swear, if I don't get out of here for a while, I'm going to explode."
He removed the chair from underneath the doorhandle and flung
it open, staring into Milliard's startled blue eyes, "And you _don't_
want to be around if that happens."
From various directions, the five gundam pilots converged,
tense in anticipation of a threat.
"What's going on?" Meiran asked quietly, eyes fully alert.
"Who screamed?"
Everyone looked at Duo who glared at all of them, "You guys got
back from that mission?"
"Well, obviously," Relena stated, not unkindly.
Duo continued glaring, "You get to have fun, while I'm stuck
here learning stuff I _don't_ want to know. Life is _not_ fair."
Then his eyes lit up, glowing with an unholy light. He fixed them on
Relena who shifted uncomfortably, fully aware that something was
going to happen and she wasn't going to like it.
"Relena, _please_ can I borrow Deathscythe for an hour or two?
_Please_."
"Don't be stupid, baka," Heero snorted, "You can't drive a car,
let alone pilot a gundam."
Duo ignored him, as he had in general since he'd arrived,
finding it too painful to see the loathing in the Prussian eyes,
"Relena..."
The blonde stared back at him, noting the manic gleam in blue-
violet eyes and the shadows that belonged only to Duo and, knowing
she would regret it, nodded slowly.
Everyone looked at her as though she was crazy.
"What!? If you do that you'll never see Deathscythe again,"
Meiran said, conveying everyone's thoughts in a somewhat more
coherent manner than Heero and Milliard who were both in the process
of vehemently objecting.
Duo was too busy throwing his arms around Relena to notice, and
she was trying to breathe. Then Duo stepped back, grinning widely.
"Whooohoooo!" he exclaimed, the bounce Milliard had been
training him out of back in his step as he entered his room like a
whirlwind. He returned a minute later wearing the only black clothes
Julian owned and grabbed Relena's wrist, pulling her in the direction
of the forest where the gundam's were hidden. "Let's go!"
Everyone followed at a run, trying to keep up with the ecstatic
boy as he dragged Relena past the guards with a flash of a smile,
waving brightly at the limousine that was turning in through the
gates. He arrived shortly afterwards at the resting place of
Deathscythe, having been directed by Relena and let go of her to go
hug this version of his gundam.
"Hey, baby," he whispered lovingly, rubbing his cheek along the
cold metal of the Gundam's hand where it lay beside the body. "You
mind flying with me a bit? Just until I find Shinigami again?"
Relena, a little startled at Duo's actions moved closer and
caught some of his whispers and smiled. She clambered up the body of
the Gundam unit until she reached the chest and keyed the cockpit
open, swinging into the pilot's seat to reconfigure it for a second
pilot.
The other pilots, Milliard and Treize, who had seen everyone
leaving as he arrived and followed, remained on the ground, watching
Duo run a check of the Gundam, searching for similarities and
differences. Once satisfied, he went grinning on his way towards the
cockpit and watched Relena as she finished up and emerged.
"Okay, she'd all your's for an hour. Make sure she's back, in
one piece, or I will come after you and I will kill you."
Duo nodded happily, "Sure thing, Relena. No problem, see ya
later!" And he jumped in, closing the cockpit with a casual flick of
the wrist against the release and settled back until he was sure
Relena would be clear before running through a pre-flight check and
starting her up.
==========
DUO'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
Relena smiled widely when Heero walked down the hallway towards
her with the other pilots, relieved they were back from their
mission. Regardless of how strange things had been with Duo when
he'd first woken up, things had managed to get much worse while
they'd been gone. Apart from being able to walk around, Duo had also
started to talk to people.
She'd known he had the ability to talk a lot, but she'd never
heard him speak on the subjects he'd been focusing on. She was
actually a little put out by his eloquence and charisma, especially
when he began speaking about Absolute Pacifism, the way he had been
doing.
That was _her_ job and to have Duo Maxwell stand up and start
doing it, at least as well as her. And when he broke in on her
conversations to do it... Relena was beginning to feel rather
redundant.
Yes, she was very glad that Heero and the others were back;
maybe they'd be able to figure out what was wrong and make him go
back to being what he was. It was harder than she'd thought, to
pretend he was Julian and she realised she wanted Duo back.
Then she reconsidered. It wasn't that it was hard to believe
he was actually Julian, it was that it was too _easy_. This boy,
with his more refined movements and completely different way of
speaking, _couldn't_ be Duo. Now she was in danger of forgetting
that he was more likely to be Duo than Julian.
"Heero!" she called, standing and walking across to him,
smiling up at him. "You're back."
"A statement of the obvious, Relena," Wufei said, eyeing her
with misgiving. "Why do you sound so relieved?"
Relena sent a look Wufei's way and shrugged, "It's Duo, he's,
well, acting strange."
The pilots all looked at each other.
Wufei spoke again, "Since when has he ever acted differently?"
"More strange! He's being me."
Quatre frowned and absently commented, "He thinks he's female
now, too? That's not good."
Relena glared at the blonde, "No! He's taking over my job."
She waved a hand vaguely in the air; "He's talking to everyone about
Absolute Pacifism."
A brief moment of silence was followed by a stampede into the
braided boy's room where they drew to an abrupt halt. The boy was
sitting up in bed, gesturing gracefully with his hands as he talked
to the doctor by his bedside.
"So, you see Dr. Rossini, even though it may seem like a
ridiculous dream, Absolute Pacifism is important as an example of
what people can strive for. The more people who practise it, the
greater the impact of the example and the more people will follow the
ideal. And, yes, it is an ideal, but many things are and still
people work towards them. Why not in this too?" He smiled
brilliantly at the doctor as the dark haired man nodded in agreement.
"I see what you mean, Julian. It's like the legends of King
Arthur and Camelot where he lived a life based on an ideal, though in
the end things went wrong."
"Exactly. Just like that. You understand, don't you?"
Rossini smiled down at the boy, "I believe I do and I must say,
I'd never thought of it like that before. To tell you the truth, I
thought it was a little stupid when Miss Peacecraft first started
speaking of it, but the way you explain it, it makes me think that
she may be the bravest person on the planet."
Relena felt like crying. Now it seemed like Duo was doing a
better job than she had, convincing those who didn't see the
possibility of her philosophy that it was something brilliant.
Duo chose that moment to turn his head towards the door. Then
something strange happened; he flung the covers back and jumped out
of bed, almost skipping across the room where he glomped Heero.
"Heero!" he said in a strangely familiar tone of voice, though
Relena couldn't quite place where she'd heard it before, being in
shock the way she was.
Not that she was the only one. Heero was staring down at the
top of the braided boy's head and everyone watched incredulously as
he nuzzled Heero's chest and curled his arms around the pilot's neck.
There was something not quite right going on here, Relena
thought to herself, staring at the entwined pilots. Maybe this
wasn't Duo after all; maybe he was Julian, the way he claimed. She
sure hoped so anyway.
Dr. Rossini gave an indulgent smile and decided to leave the
kids alone to play.
==Owari, Chapter Four==
http://www.geocities.com/sefilin/
sefilin@yahoo.com
Role Reversal
By Sefilin
========================================
Disclaimers: Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing copyright Sunrise,
Bandai, Sotsu Agency
Dedicated, as always, to Kellryn.
==========
Chapter Four
==========
JULIAN'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
Duo, once more, found himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling,
trying to sleep. And once more, he was unable to, though with more
reason this time.
He was currently lying in Julian's large, soft bed, covered in
fine linen sheets and tracing the gilt edges of the panelling on the
ceiling. He decided they were more interesting than the plain tiles
on the other ceiling, but were bound to get boring as the night
progressed.
And there was less likely to be escape from this room.
He'd run an eye over the mansion's security earlier and
sneaking out would almost be more trouble than it was worth,
requiring either jimmying open the window without setting off an
alarm or making it outside without waking anyone else. And with
Heero in the next room, he was unlikely to make it very far.
Everyone had decided earlier, that Duo had to be Julian, no
matter how much he objected and that would require him learning more
of politics, diplomacy, absolute pacifism and manners than he'd ever
wanted. Unlike Relena though, he wouldn't have to everything by
himself as Milliard had as much to do with the peace process as he
himself did. Which was good as far as it went, but everyone was
going to do their best to keep him from blowing things up in the
meantime.
They probably wouldn't even let him carry his knife around...
well a substitute for his knife anyway. The charade had to be
perfect.
Like that would be possible, given his propensity for cheerful
violence and street-wise-ness.
So, starting tomorrow he was being left in his brother's
capable hands and the training would begin; deportment, articulation,
society manners, hierarchies of various kinds, wine tasting, food
recognition (which he might enjoy) and formal dancing. He had a
feeling this was going to be worse than the time the Professor had
made him learn each and every part that went in to making up various
mobile suits in 48 hours.
At least they didn't expect him to do anything until after a
few days training, when he'd know the basics at the very least and
had a chance of pulling this off. Until then, he was officially sick
and confined to his bed.
Which was going to be hell... particularly if he couldn't
sleep.
Sighing to himself at the circular path his thoughts were
beginning to take, Duo tried to drop into a fantasy involving his
Heero, chocolate sauce and silk scarves.
It worked for quite some time.
==========
DUO'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
Heero pulled the car to a stop in front of the hospital Relena
had given him directions to and applied the brake, pausing with his
hand on the door handle before opening it and heading towards the
entrance.
He didn't show it, he never did, but he was worried. More so
than if Duo had just been injured because Relena's report had
indicated mental trauma as well as physical.
For Duo to pretend to be a Peacecraft was one of those
situations he had never been prepared for and he feared that it was
his fault for not letting Duo know how much he cared for him. And
how little he cared for Relena.
So it was up to him to remedy that as far as he could. Maybe
if he showed Duo that he _did_ care a _lot_ he'd snap out of it and
they could head off on their next mission together. Because if he
didn't, Heero didn't know what he'd do.
The nurse at reception pointed him in the right direction and
he headed off down the hallway in search of an elevator, which he
took to the third floor.
The first person he saw when the door opened was Relena,
getting herself a drink from the vending machine a few metres away.
He considered sneaking past the annoying female then decided he owed
her. Unfortunately.
"Relena."
The blonde spun around and smiled widely, "Heero!" she breathed
and moved closer, almost breaching the invisible barriers he always
had set about himself.
Strange, that only two people had ever been beyond them,
ignoring the warning signs, though his reaction to them were as far
apart as possible. Relena he barely kept from strangling most of the
time and Duo he'd welcomed in with open arms, metaphorically
speaking. Though he'd never let the baka know exactly how welcome
he'd been.
Heero paused. Then again maybe he would, after all, that was
likely what the problem with his fellow pilot was.
"You came to see Duo, right? I'll show you to his room,"
Relena beckoned him along the corridor and Heero followed, watching
the numbers on the doors they walked past.
"He still thinks he's Julian Peacecraft and, well, he does seem
different. Why do you think this happened?"
Heero blinked and once more decided he had the ability to kill
this female. Intellectually he knew Duo talked far more, but it
always seemed as though it was Relena who couldn't shut up, and now
she was asking questions he himself was ill equipped to deal with,
even if he thought he knew the answers.
So he shrugged, ignoring the fact that Relena couldn't see the
action and willed her to move faster. He wanted, needed, to see Duo.
They finally turned in at a door guarded by the man Heero
recognised as Relena's chauffeur and he received his first glimpse of
the boy currently calling himself Julian Peacecraft.
He was lying with his eyes closed, chestnut braid draping over
the edge of the bed and the slightest of frowns between his brows.
He was in pain and Heero buried the urge to smooth the wrinkle from
his brow, knowing that its disappearance didn't do anything for the
pain itself.
He walked towards the bed, his eyes trained on Duo's face to
the exclusion of all else.
Then, as he reached out to touch the other pilot, violet-blue
eyes opened and looked at him through a vague blurring of pain. Then
recognition dawned and a forever-sweet smile dawned on the braided
boy's face, his eyes glowing.
"Heero... you came."
"Aa," Heero replied, a little breathless. He'd never seen
_that_ smile on Duo's face before and it made him want to protect the
other person, made him seem more vulnerable than usual, as though,
maybe, he _needed_ Heero. So different from the normal Duo, who was
as changeable as the wind, but self-reliant no matter who he was at
the time.
Relena took a position next to Heero, placing her hand on his
arm and smiling reassuringly down at Duo, "I told you I'd find him."
But Duo's eyes clouded and darkened, his gaze lingering on
Relena's hand where it lay against Heero's arm. A flash of pain
moved through the indigo orbs then his lashes were dropping once more
and lay, a dark shadow on pale skin.
"You did, I suppose, Relena. Thank you," Duo's voice had
dropped to a whisper. "It wasn't something I expected."
Relena frowned, and Heero wondered about what was going on as
he continued to watch his bedridden lover. So far there had been no
indication of her reports that Duo was claiming to be someone he was
not, though there were definitely changes in the boy lying before
him. The smile, the pain, the... Heero blinked. Duo had all of a
sudden become articulate as well as talkative; his accent had changed
a little and now contained something he would describe as 'breeding'.
So maybe this was the evidence he was looking for.
"He's your friend, Duo, why wouldn't I ask him to come?"
A bitter smile touched Duo's mouth and he moved his head back
and forth across the pillow, "Julian, remember? I don't know why you
keep on calling me Duo, but I'm not."
His eyes opened again and looked directly into Heero's eyes,
"I'm _not_ Duo Maxwell. I don't care who you think I am, but I'm
_not_. My name is Julian Peacecraft, my older brother is Milliard
Peacecraft and I live in a mansion in the county of Berlin, Germany,
next door to General Treize Khushrenada..." Duo broke off, his eyes
fracturing. "You don't believe me." It was a statement and Duo
sighed.
"Go away. I have no idea what's going on, but I can't deal
with this right now, so just go away."
Heero reluctantly nodded his agreement, brushing his fingertips
across Duo's knuckles before turning and walking out of the room,
Relena close on his tail.
==========
Relena glanced into Duo's room later on that afternoon, noting
the downcast expression on his rounded face. It was so strange not
to see a smile on the face, she mused, quietly stepping through the
door. She walked closer to the bed, smiling tentatively at the
braided boy when he turned towards her.
Instead of returning it, he turned away, staring unseeing out
the window and Relena sighed.
"Um, Duo, don't you think you're being a little unfair to
Heero?" she asked softly, holding his gaze when he whipped his head
around to stare at her incredulously. "He's your friend, he spent so
much time looking for you and he's worried about you. The least you
can do is let him see you're okay before throwing him out."
Duo frowned and shook his head, "You really think he'd believe
I'm okay when he doesn't believe I'm Julian? Not that you believe
either, but at least I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt
when you say you're Relena Peacecraft, not Relena Maxwell... Which,
by the way, would make you my sister if it were the truth... You and
Heero _could_ pretend to believe me - humour me, call me Julian -
until I've seen a psychologist, psychiatrist or whatever."
"Duo...there's no proof that you're Julian Peacecraft, but
quite a lot that says otherwise. You were badly hurt falling down
the cliff and it _is_ conceivable, to us, that you're projecting,"
Relena stated sympathetically.
She had considered humouring him, but until she had
professional advice to the contrary, she was going to try to bring
back his true memories, by talking to him as if he was Duo.
Violet-blue eyes turned back to the window, "I realise that,
but there's _nothing_ _at_ _all_ that makes me think that's all it
is, except what you and Heero believe. And I'm sorry to say, but at
this point in time, it's not enough, especially given that, according
to my memories, the two of you don't even _like_ me."
Relena sighed, "Okay then, if I pretend you're actually Julian,
can you please pretend I'm Relena _Peacecraft_? You haven't exactly
been very nice to me since you woke up and I'm not used to being
treated like your worst enemy, because I'm _not_. If I do you the
favour of respecting you, will you promise to do the same?"
Duo looked back at her and tilted his head to one side
considering before nodding, "Okay. You have a deal. You don't try
to convince me I'm someone I'm not and I won't try to convince you."
Relena nodded and the two looked at each other for a few
moments until Relena smiled and held out her hand, "Hi, I'm Relena
Peacecraft. Pleased to meet you."
Julian glanced from her smiling blue eyes to her hand and
slowly reached out to take it, "Julian Peacecraft. It's a pleasure."
==========
Over the next week, each of the pilots visited Julian, though
the boy refused to speak to any of them as soon as it became apparent
that they didn't believe him whatever he said. And they weren't
going to follow Relena's example and pretend. Each day he became
more withdrawn, his skin became paler and his recuperation slowed.
Then came the day when Quatre visited to let him know another
mission had come in and they were leaving. Heero would have gone,
still wondering if guilt was the correct emotion for the situation,
but he was needed for the last of the preparations.
The blonde walked into the room, finding Duo sitting up against
the pillows, reading. He looked up from his page and watched as
Quatre moved to stand next to his bed, his sky-blue eyes almost
nervous.
"Duo..." he paused for a second before continuing. "We, myself
and the others, have to go. We have a mission but we'll be back in a
day or two."
Reigning in whatever outburst was trying to make it out of his
throat, Julian nodded graciously and immediately turned back to his
book, ignoring the blonde's presence. He didn't want to know; it was
hard enough that no one believed him. Of everyone Relena was being
the nicest, which, even after their tentative understanding earlier
in the week, made him wonder if maybe they _were_ right and he wasn't
who he thought he was.
But, if they ever _did_ make him believe that, he would be
lost.
So, whenever they visited, he would greet them politely, say
goodbye to them and remain silent for the remainder. That way he
couldn't get into pointless discussions with them regarding who he
was and exactly what had happened to make him that way...
"Look, Duo, you fell down a fifty foot cliff, I'm _sure_ you
knocked your head on a rock or something. It's nothing to be ashamed
of, you couldn't help it, but there's no need to pretend to be like
Relena. Regardless of the way I act, I don't like her and I thought
you knew that. To pretend to be her is stupid, _especially_ if you
think I'll lo-like you more that way," Heero had said the first time
he'd visited Julian alone, getting every word out as quickly as
possible and almost falling over the words in the process. Julian
had come close to laughing at the impassioned, though less than
eloquent speech, until he'd remembered what the topic was.
Julian _did_ allow them to talk when they came, never
interrupting, and found what they had to say endlessly fascinating.
The gundam pilots he knew would never have tolerated him for long
enough to begin talking about some of the things they spoke of. Nor
would they have trusted him enough.
They'd gone over their last mission, originally hoping to help
him remember who he really was. But they had become caught in the
discussion, forgetting he wasn't Duo.
They'd described various last minute changes to the plans and
gone over the tactics they'd each used, throwing ideas around as to
what would have been better. It was a debriefing, Julian noted, and
would help with future situations should they find themselves in
similar difficulties.
Then they'd gone on to talk of the current political situation
and the ramifications of things, both as they stood and how they
would stand, given certain changes being made. Occasionally
digressing, they would turn to more personal conversations, such as
their favourite foods or certain childhood habits, for short periods
of time.
It surprised Julian to note that, once they got started, Heero
and Trowa could talk as much as anyone. He'd never heard them string
more than a few words together before and enjoyed listening to both
boys' voices as he drifted. This also helped disguise the fact that
Julian wasn't as talkative as they claimed Duo was, and had given up
talking all together after Heero's third visit.
Quatre sighed heavily when Julian didn't reply and left with a
quiet goodbye. Julian watched him go with a shadow of sadness in his
eyes.
He turned his book face down across his knees and stared
blindly at the wall, his hand stroking the braid that had been part
of him since he woke up. The heavy mass, more than anything else,
convinced him that he _was_ Julian Peacecraft, not this Duo Maxwell
everyone wanted him to be. Why, if he had selective amnesia and had
convinced himself that he was someone he wasn't, would he not
remember what he _looked_ like, at the very least? He couldn't see
why it would make a difference what he looked like and at no stage
had he ever had hair longer than his shoulders.
And then there was Wufei, the Chinese pilot. Why wouldn't he
remember the other boy when he remembered everyone else? And why did
he have memories of a different, _female_ Chinese pilot instead?
The way things were going though, he was going to be miserable
for however long he was with these doppelgangers of the Gundam pilots
he knew. He blinked as it struck him that he had already allowed
these people to change him and his eyes narrowed.
Maybe that was the point of this entire exercise?
Someone wanted him out of the way, so was going to convince him
he was someone he wasn't, and if that didn't work they would likely
kill him. Thoughts of Treize and Milliard intruded and he wondered
where they were, if they were worrying about him or if they were in
the same position.
A determined gleam entered Julian's eye and a grin teased at
his lips, baring white teeth as he tossed the braid over his shoulder
and sat up straighter.
==========
JULIAN'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
"No!" Duo yelled, slamming the door in Milliard's face and
wedging his foot against it to prevent it being opened. He looked
around for something else to bar entry and made a quick rush for the
desk chair, tucking it firmly under the door handle.
"Duo..." the blonde spoke from beyond the door, menace and
understanding mixed equally in his smooth voice.
"No! I'm sick of this and I refuse to do anything else for the
rest of the day. Go bug someone else."
Silence from behind the door, then: "Duo, I understand that
this is hard, but you need to know this or no one's going to believe
you're Julian. We need you to be there for the talks next week."
Duo refused to answer, glaring at the painted white door,
wishing he could blast it to smithereens with his stare alone. But
he had a way to go to equal Heero's glares yet, let alone develop one
powerful enough to warp wood.
If things carried on as they were, he wasn't going to make it
home, which would be absolutely the worst thing that could happen to
him. Yeah, the pilots were nice and it was great having a brother,
but everyone still had a habit of treating him like Julian when they
weren't thinking, which drove him nuts.
And all he wanted to do just now was to get right away from the
politics and manners he'd been drilled with over the past few days
and cut loose. Steal a mobile suit for a joyride or find himself a
gun and target range, anything that was noisy and _normal_. He'd
even kill for a decent piece of music, something that didn't include
violins and a full orchestra.
"Duo!"
Realising his teeth were tightly clenched and his hands had
formed into something halfway between a fist and a claw, Duo stared
at the door some more, trying to get a hold of his frustration
without success.
"AAAaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!" he tipped his head back a screamed
then stopped, breathing heavily, hands flexing. "I swear..." he
spoke loudly enough to be heard on the other side of the door, "I
swear, if I don't get out of here for a while, I'm going to explode."
He removed the chair from underneath the doorhandle and flung
it open, staring into Milliard's startled blue eyes, "And you _don't_
want to be around if that happens."
From various directions, the five gundam pilots converged,
tense in anticipation of a threat.
"What's going on?" Meiran asked quietly, eyes fully alert.
"Who screamed?"
Everyone looked at Duo who glared at all of them, "You guys got
back from that mission?"
"Well, obviously," Relena stated, not unkindly.
Duo continued glaring, "You get to have fun, while I'm stuck
here learning stuff I _don't_ want to know. Life is _not_ fair."
Then his eyes lit up, glowing with an unholy light. He fixed them on
Relena who shifted uncomfortably, fully aware that something was
going to happen and she wasn't going to like it.
"Relena, _please_ can I borrow Deathscythe for an hour or two?
_Please_."
"Don't be stupid, baka," Heero snorted, "You can't drive a car,
let alone pilot a gundam."
Duo ignored him, as he had in general since he'd arrived,
finding it too painful to see the loathing in the Prussian eyes,
"Relena..."
The blonde stared back at him, noting the manic gleam in blue-
violet eyes and the shadows that belonged only to Duo and, knowing
she would regret it, nodded slowly.
Everyone looked at her as though she was crazy.
"What!? If you do that you'll never see Deathscythe again,"
Meiran said, conveying everyone's thoughts in a somewhat more
coherent manner than Heero and Milliard who were both in the process
of vehemently objecting.
Duo was too busy throwing his arms around Relena to notice, and
she was trying to breathe. Then Duo stepped back, grinning widely.
"Whooohoooo!" he exclaimed, the bounce Milliard had been
training him out of back in his step as he entered his room like a
whirlwind. He returned a minute later wearing the only black clothes
Julian owned and grabbed Relena's wrist, pulling her in the direction
of the forest where the gundam's were hidden. "Let's go!"
Everyone followed at a run, trying to keep up with the ecstatic
boy as he dragged Relena past the guards with a flash of a smile,
waving brightly at the limousine that was turning in through the
gates. He arrived shortly afterwards at the resting place of
Deathscythe, having been directed by Relena and let go of her to go
hug this version of his gundam.
"Hey, baby," he whispered lovingly, rubbing his cheek along the
cold metal of the Gundam's hand where it lay beside the body. "You
mind flying with me a bit? Just until I find Shinigami again?"
Relena, a little startled at Duo's actions moved closer and
caught some of his whispers and smiled. She clambered up the body of
the Gundam unit until she reached the chest and keyed the cockpit
open, swinging into the pilot's seat to reconfigure it for a second
pilot.
The other pilots, Milliard and Treize, who had seen everyone
leaving as he arrived and followed, remained on the ground, watching
Duo run a check of the Gundam, searching for similarities and
differences. Once satisfied, he went grinning on his way towards the
cockpit and watched Relena as she finished up and emerged.
"Okay, she'd all your's for an hour. Make sure she's back, in
one piece, or I will come after you and I will kill you."
Duo nodded happily, "Sure thing, Relena. No problem, see ya
later!" And he jumped in, closing the cockpit with a casual flick of
the wrist against the release and settled back until he was sure
Relena would be clear before running through a pre-flight check and
starting her up.
==========
DUO'S HOME UNIVERSE:
----------
Relena smiled widely when Heero walked down the hallway towards
her with the other pilots, relieved they were back from their
mission. Regardless of how strange things had been with Duo when
he'd first woken up, things had managed to get much worse while
they'd been gone. Apart from being able to walk around, Duo had also
started to talk to people.
She'd known he had the ability to talk a lot, but she'd never
heard him speak on the subjects he'd been focusing on. She was
actually a little put out by his eloquence and charisma, especially
when he began speaking about Absolute Pacifism, the way he had been
doing.
That was _her_ job and to have Duo Maxwell stand up and start
doing it, at least as well as her. And when he broke in on her
conversations to do it... Relena was beginning to feel rather
redundant.
Yes, she was very glad that Heero and the others were back;
maybe they'd be able to figure out what was wrong and make him go
back to being what he was. It was harder than she'd thought, to
pretend he was Julian and she realised she wanted Duo back.
Then she reconsidered. It wasn't that it was hard to believe
he was actually Julian, it was that it was too _easy_. This boy,
with his more refined movements and completely different way of
speaking, _couldn't_ be Duo. Now she was in danger of forgetting
that he was more likely to be Duo than Julian.
"Heero!" she called, standing and walking across to him,
smiling up at him. "You're back."
"A statement of the obvious, Relena," Wufei said, eyeing her
with misgiving. "Why do you sound so relieved?"
Relena sent a look Wufei's way and shrugged, "It's Duo, he's,
well, acting strange."
The pilots all looked at each other.
Wufei spoke again, "Since when has he ever acted differently?"
"More strange! He's being me."
Quatre frowned and absently commented, "He thinks he's female
now, too? That's not good."
Relena glared at the blonde, "No! He's taking over my job."
She waved a hand vaguely in the air; "He's talking to everyone about
Absolute Pacifism."
A brief moment of silence was followed by a stampede into the
braided boy's room where they drew to an abrupt halt. The boy was
sitting up in bed, gesturing gracefully with his hands as he talked
to the doctor by his bedside.
"So, you see Dr. Rossini, even though it may seem like a
ridiculous dream, Absolute Pacifism is important as an example of
what people can strive for. The more people who practise it, the
greater the impact of the example and the more people will follow the
ideal. And, yes, it is an ideal, but many things are and still
people work towards them. Why not in this too?" He smiled
brilliantly at the doctor as the dark haired man nodded in agreement.
"I see what you mean, Julian. It's like the legends of King
Arthur and Camelot where he lived a life based on an ideal, though in
the end things went wrong."
"Exactly. Just like that. You understand, don't you?"
Rossini smiled down at the boy, "I believe I do and I must say,
I'd never thought of it like that before. To tell you the truth, I
thought it was a little stupid when Miss Peacecraft first started
speaking of it, but the way you explain it, it makes me think that
she may be the bravest person on the planet."
Relena felt like crying. Now it seemed like Duo was doing a
better job than she had, convincing those who didn't see the
possibility of her philosophy that it was something brilliant.
Duo chose that moment to turn his head towards the door. Then
something strange happened; he flung the covers back and jumped out
of bed, almost skipping across the room where he glomped Heero.
"Heero!" he said in a strangely familiar tone of voice, though
Relena couldn't quite place where she'd heard it before, being in
shock the way she was.
Not that she was the only one. Heero was staring down at the
top of the braided boy's head and everyone watched incredulously as
he nuzzled Heero's chest and curled his arms around the pilot's neck.
There was something not quite right going on here, Relena
thought to herself, staring at the entwined pilots. Maybe this
wasn't Duo after all; maybe he was Julian, the way he claimed. She
sure hoped so anyway.
Dr. Rossini gave an indulgent smile and decided to leave the
kids alone to play.
==Owari, Chapter Four==
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