F***
You Duo Maxwell – A GW fanfiction
Author:
masamune
Warnings:
Obviously foul language, Relena being a bitch, angst and some darkness. Slight
yaoi base.
Disclaimer:
If I owned Gundam Wing I wouldn't have to write fanfics about it, I'd just
produce new episodes ne? So guess what? I don't own Gundam Wing. Bandai and
Sunrise and Sotsu agency do.
Archive:
I don't know why anyone would want to archive this but if you really really
want to go right ahead.
I
hate you more than I hate anybody in the world. I know, I know, I'm not
supposed to hate anyone. I'm supposedly Ms. Warm Hearted, Sugar Coated
Peacecraft. Well, I guess I don't live up to that expectation. I'm not
completely naïve like everyone thinks I am.
Hate
is something that everyone has. And even though I try to look at the best
things in life I really have one hindrance.
Duo
Maxwell. Fuck you Duo Maxwell.
I
don't care if little kids are reading this, I don't care if my mother, Mrs.
Darlian finds this. To Hell with you all! Let the delegates at the World Nation
get a hold of this if they can. Kick me off the board and talk about my 'anger
problems' behind my back! I don't care! Oh gomen nasai, for my foul language,
but I couldn't give a shitting bitch's cunt in Hell about your opinion.
I've
suppressed my emotions long enough. Never have I told anyone how much I hate
you or why I hate you so much. I would be strong. I'd carry my pain silently. I
would not let the world know how much it hurts, how hot the anger burns inside
of me.
I
thought you were a girl the first time I really saw you. The first time was at
that port near St. Gabriel's Institute, but I couldn't get a good look since
you damn near blinded me with that stupid light you had. There you were
Flirting, shamelessly, with Heero in those ridiculously short shorts (though
Heero looked amazing in them) like a hussy. I thought to myself, "Why its
natural for a man like Heero to attract the attention of ladies." But take a
few steps closer and your features come closer into focus. Long beautiful
chestnut hair and bangs, deep violet eyes that shimmer like pools, slender, but
slightly muscular form and your damned smile.
Naturally
my joy at finally finding Heero again overshadowed the dark, evil anger that
you summoned inside of me. But later that night I couldn't sleep because the
only thing I could think of was you smiling like the baka you are and
whispering something to Heero and looking at me. How dumb do you think I am?
I
hate you, Duo Maxwell, because Heero loves you. Hai, without a doubt in the
world he does love you. The noble, brave, daring soldier falling in love for a
louse like you Maxwell. I couldn't believe it at first.
But
the signs where everywhere. You were always with him, your arm draped around
his shoulder, saying small comments only to him, flashing him your most devious
smile. I should have caught on to what you were doing, but… it wasn't the best
of times.
The
war threw the world apart. Heero was traveling all over the world and into the
infinite depths of space, but I wouldn't give up. I followed him, I followed
him because I love him with all my heart and soul and I knew that his right
place was with me. I waited for him to come back to me, and time and time again
he did. I saw him on the balcony while I was delivering my first speech to the
world leaders. He was going to shoot me, finally going to kill me, like he
first promised. He couldn't do it, he couldn't bear to spill my blood and I'm
convinced that it's because he knows his feelings for me too.
Feelings
don't mean love. Iie, Heero doesn't love me. He loves you, Maxwell, kisama. I
don't know how you managed to ever delude someone as smart and I don't know how
you could have the heart to corrupt him with your tainted presence.
Hai,
that's it. You pulled Heero in when he least expected it. When I discovered you
were a Gundam pilot like he was I could hardly control my rage. Slinking to his
side like the snake you are you made him think you were "just friends"… well
you sure changed that as fast as you could didn't you?
That's
why I hate you. The only thing I ever wanted in this world was and still is
Heero Yuy. Just to have him by my side, in my arms, in my life would satisfy. I
would tear the Earth asunder if that were what it would take to make him love
me. Peacecraft morals or not I would kill everyone and anyone if I could be
with him. And you know how much I'd love to start by blowing out the back of
your head, Maxwell.
But
I also know that actions like those won't get me anywhere. There really isn't
anything I can do except sit and write this stupid letter, which I'll probably
burn in an incinerator after I'm done. The frustration is so unbearable that I
think I'm going to pop a vein in my forehead just thinking about this. Knowing
that the one thing you want most in life is out of your reach is the most
infuriating, crazing pains in existence.
All
of it mixes and jumbles in my head. It's almost like this garbled writing,
angry, sad, envious and downright impossible to make any sense out of. Hate,
love, want, need, strife, everything tears around my head like a tornado and I
think that I'll explode if I don't do something to remedy myself soon. I can't
even express myself clearly anymore. I'm seeing red and I'm wishing with all my
might that it'd be your blood Duo Maxwell. If I take a gun to my head and kill
myself your name will appear under the cause of death. All of my emotions and
feelings and bitter hatred and undying love mix together and I can't think of
anything to describe it except,
Fuck
you Duo Maxwell.
~owari
Notes:
If anybody actually read this you must be thinking, "Who wrote this and what is
wrong with them?" Well, I'm Masamune, and although I've been around on MLs and
websites for a while now I haven't been too active lately, ok, inactive for a
long while. This little shot in the
dark was just my way of trying to bounce back. I needed it to be short and
morose, but I'm not at all satisfied with this fic at all. I just feel like if
I don't write something NOW, I'll never write again, so if you're out there
reading this crappy thing just maybe drop me a line if you've got the time. MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com
masamune