by Corran |
| Dear Mulder, I never thought I could write you a letter. But since you managed to wrap up your thoughts in words I should be able to do so, too. I´ve never told you how proud I am to have you as a friend, haven´t I? And you should know by now that I´ll never ever blame you for anything that´s happened to me in the last years. Besides that horrible stuff it were the best years of my life. Mostly because I had you by my side - when you weren´t again running off to some place without telling me. Everytime you did that it was scaring me to death. I thought I would never see you again. And there´s still so much I want to tell you. You know, your little trip to Bermuda gave me the rest. When you were gone I felt lost. I was afraid, afraid that we won´t find you. But we did. And you never knew how happy I was then. I should have told you. But though you were exhausted you managed to shock me with three little words. I was sort of stunned then. And I think my reaction must have hurt you. I didn´t meant it to look like a rejection. I just needed to get out of your room - needed to think. But these three words repeated themselves in my mind - over and over again. I couldn´t think of something else. I wished it to be true so much. But you were delirious. How could I know if you´d remember what you said? And afterwards you never really mentioned it again. But I´ve never forgotten your words - I couldn´t. They got stuck in my heart and my soul. Now I know you meant what you said. These three words came straight from your heart. And though you never again spoke them aloud I could feel them underlying each of your looks, each smile, each touch. You know, it´s kind of hard for me to express my feelings. But writing it down seems to be a lot easier. Mulder, I love you too. And I want to be with you. Please, promise me that you´ll never leave me behind again. `Cause I don´ know if I could handle it. Love, Scully |