Illusions
Summary: On his least favorite day of the year, Carter sees someone he thought he'd never see again. But is she real?
A/N: Look, this may be in the category of "out there" but it's interesting none-the-less. It's my first fic for ER so be nice about it please and I love constructive criticism;)
Disclaimer: I don't own these people, yada yada yada and all that. Just the story's mine.
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Valentines Day. It was raining hard. It was a very quiet day in the hospital with not many patients. Sure, there was the occasional flue, here and there and one boy needed his tonsils out but nothing very serious. There was a boy with a bullet wound, but the life-threatening moment was over and he was slowly recovering. No one was speaking much. John Carter hadn't expected them to today. Today was an anniversary. But it wasn't an anniversary of love and joy. It was an anniversary of sorrow, death, and... guilt. Already a year had past since Lucy had died. Carter had dreaded this day. When people past him in the ER, they would give Carter sympathetic smiles and greet him warmly. Carter looked at them blankly. He didn't know how to respond to them. He was so sad that he barely noticed sometimes.
"Carter, are you sure you don't want any time off today?" Kerry asked him.
"I'm fine, Weaver," replied Carter, though he knew he wasn't. But he didn't want time off. It was the last thing he wanted. It was the last thing he wanted to be sitting at home or in the park or at Lucy's grave thinking about her and what he could have done to save her. No, it was better he stayed here, among people, with his job to keep his mind off things. He walked into an exam room where he met a teenage boy.
"How are we today, Kyle?"
"Fine. Can I go home now?" Carter laughed at the boy's insistence. It was almost a forced laugh as if he hadn't laughed for a long time and was trying to find something to laugh at. If only he could get those horrible memories out of his mind...
Though he tried to sound fine, Carter could tell that Kyle was weak. It showed in his body language and his voice.
"We still need to work on you a bit more. Your lungs haven't recovered well."
"Sure they have!" but Carter gave him a stern look. Kyle's voice was soft and raspy, but still had a harsh tone to it. The boy paused and continued, "But I hate hospitals!"
"I know, but we have to make sure that your body has fully recovered. That was some shot you took."
"Yeah, well..." he trailed off and looked away. He gave a little cough.
"By the way, that was very brave of you, trying to save your brother from that gangster, but next time, don't let the bullet hit *you* instead, alright?" the boy began to cough again, and Carter watched, slightly concerned. But then, the boy stopped and saw the worried look on Carter's face.
"Look, I'm not a baby, I don't need you guys worrying about m-" but he cut himself off with another cough.
"You see? Your lungs haven't fully recovered! It's a miracle you survived at all! I don't know how you're even alive today,"
"Yeah, well it just proves how good you doctors are," Kyle smiled, hopefully.
"HA! Flattery won't work, young man!" Carter chuckled again and the boy began to laugh too. But Kyle's laugh soon turned to a dry, hard cough. At first, Carter thought it was just another one of his coughs, but he continued without signs of stopping. Soon, he began to cough up blood and Carter found this odd, but tried to help. Kyle fell back on the bed, eyes screwed tight. As Carter worked on him, he turned his head to the door behind him.
"Somebody get in here, now!" he turned back to Kyle and saw someone's hands trying to help Kyle with Carter.
"That was fa-" Carter stopped. The words caught in his throat. As he followed the hands to their owners face, he saw that he was staring straight into the eyes of Lucy Knight. Her face as expressionless and for a second which seemed like an hour, they stared at each other.
"Carter, what's happening?" Carter turned as he saw Mark Green rushing up to him. When he turned back to Lucy, she was gone.
"I... I..."
"Carter, what are you doing?! Help this kid!" Carter looked at Kyle, blankly, then at Dr. Green, who was trying to help the boy. He shook his head, brought himself back to reality and got back to work. When the boy was stable again, Carter requested some time off.
"Carter, something's wrong, I know it. Why are you so distant today? Wait, don't answer that. It's because of Lucy, isn't it? You're thinking of her?" Elizabeth Corday's English accent broke into Carter's thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Carter, look at me..." but Carter continued to look down at the table in the coffee shop, "Look at me!" Corday shouted and Carter looked up, "Abby is feeling really wor-"
"Please, Lizzy, I don't really feel like talking now..."
"Carter, you will hear her out!" Abby just appeared at the table. But Carter took no notice. Seeing this, Corday took the time to talk to Abby.
"I can see why you're worried. I'm worried, too,"
"He was fine this morning! It started when he went to see that boy with the gun shot wound..." Abby shook her head.
"Really, I've said it before and I'll say it again, why did this have to happen? Poor Carter..." Poor Carter. Carter heard those words even if he didn't hear anything else. *Yeah, poor me,* he thought, sarcastically, *does anyone ever stop to think 'poor Lucy?' She had her whole life ahead of her and I can't help feeling like I took that away from her. Oh Lucy, I'm so sorry! Was it really you I saw in there?* Carter felt a warm hand on his.
"Lizzy, that isn't necessary, really!" he muttered. Corday stopped talking to Abby and turned to Carter.
"What's unnecessary, John?" she asked, half confused, half concerned. Carter opened his eyes and blinked. He looked up at Corday. Her hand was on her cup of coffee and the other was out of sight. He looked at Abby. Her arms were crossed. Then, slowly, he turned his head to the seat next to him. For the second time that day, Lucy was right in front of him, but this time she was smiling, warmly, comfortingly. Carter pulled his hand away and stood up abruptly. Abby and Lizzy were looking at him as if concerned for his sanity.
"Maybe we should go somewhere else..." Abby suggested, but Carter shook his head slowly, not wanting to take his eyes off of Lucy; not wanting to loose her again. She stood up, too, and she seemed to be glowing, slightly, yet radiantly. In Carter's mind, she lit up the room. She walked over to him, leaned close to him, and whispered in his ear.
"Soon...Tonight..." she said, and smiled. Carter was confused.
"John! Please, you're scaring me!" Abby said, pulling John to face her. He turned, unwillingly and frantically turned his head again to see if Lucy was still there, but she wasn't.
"I... I have to go for a walk..." and he pushed past Abby and went onto the street.
"He shouldn't be out there in his condition," Corday said, watching at the door he had exited.
"What do you mean, 'in his condition?' You're acting as if he's some crazy psycho who just escaped from the insane asylum!" Abby burst out, "I'm going after him!" and she seized her umbrella and went out the door before Corday could reply.
"Carter... John!" Abby cried, racing up to him. His pace was swift and steady and the colossal drops of rain saturated him. Abby offered to share her umbrella but Carter declined.
"Carter, you know you can talk to me whenever you need to," Abby told him, comfortingly, "I've never seen you so isolated! Why won't you let anyone help you? Why won't you talk to anyone?"
"I just don't feel like talking today, OK?" Carter picked up his pace. He began to cross the street when.
"Carter, wait!" Abby screamed, her voice so full of passion and concern that Carter turned. Only then did he realize she really *was* scared for him. He could see it in her eyes. For a minute, the whole world froze. It was just Carter and Abby and no one else. However, Carter stood still for too long because soon, he felt something hit him hard and his head soon came in contact with the solid, cold pavement.
To be contintued... Most Likely...
Summary: On his least favorite day of the year, Carter sees someone he thought he'd never see again. But is she real?
A/N: Look, this may be in the category of "out there" but it's interesting none-the-less. It's my first fic for ER so be nice about it please and I love constructive criticism;)
Disclaimer: I don't own these people, yada yada yada and all that. Just the story's mine.
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Valentines Day. It was raining hard. It was a very quiet day in the hospital with not many patients. Sure, there was the occasional flue, here and there and one boy needed his tonsils out but nothing very serious. There was a boy with a bullet wound, but the life-threatening moment was over and he was slowly recovering. No one was speaking much. John Carter hadn't expected them to today. Today was an anniversary. But it wasn't an anniversary of love and joy. It was an anniversary of sorrow, death, and... guilt. Already a year had past since Lucy had died. Carter had dreaded this day. When people past him in the ER, they would give Carter sympathetic smiles and greet him warmly. Carter looked at them blankly. He didn't know how to respond to them. He was so sad that he barely noticed sometimes.
"Carter, are you sure you don't want any time off today?" Kerry asked him.
"I'm fine, Weaver," replied Carter, though he knew he wasn't. But he didn't want time off. It was the last thing he wanted. It was the last thing he wanted to be sitting at home or in the park or at Lucy's grave thinking about her and what he could have done to save her. No, it was better he stayed here, among people, with his job to keep his mind off things. He walked into an exam room where he met a teenage boy.
"How are we today, Kyle?"
"Fine. Can I go home now?" Carter laughed at the boy's insistence. It was almost a forced laugh as if he hadn't laughed for a long time and was trying to find something to laugh at. If only he could get those horrible memories out of his mind...
Though he tried to sound fine, Carter could tell that Kyle was weak. It showed in his body language and his voice.
"We still need to work on you a bit more. Your lungs haven't recovered well."
"Sure they have!" but Carter gave him a stern look. Kyle's voice was soft and raspy, but still had a harsh tone to it. The boy paused and continued, "But I hate hospitals!"
"I know, but we have to make sure that your body has fully recovered. That was some shot you took."
"Yeah, well..." he trailed off and looked away. He gave a little cough.
"By the way, that was very brave of you, trying to save your brother from that gangster, but next time, don't let the bullet hit *you* instead, alright?" the boy began to cough again, and Carter watched, slightly concerned. But then, the boy stopped and saw the worried look on Carter's face.
"Look, I'm not a baby, I don't need you guys worrying about m-" but he cut himself off with another cough.
"You see? Your lungs haven't fully recovered! It's a miracle you survived at all! I don't know how you're even alive today,"
"Yeah, well it just proves how good you doctors are," Kyle smiled, hopefully.
"HA! Flattery won't work, young man!" Carter chuckled again and the boy began to laugh too. But Kyle's laugh soon turned to a dry, hard cough. At first, Carter thought it was just another one of his coughs, but he continued without signs of stopping. Soon, he began to cough up blood and Carter found this odd, but tried to help. Kyle fell back on the bed, eyes screwed tight. As Carter worked on him, he turned his head to the door behind him.
"Somebody get in here, now!" he turned back to Kyle and saw someone's hands trying to help Kyle with Carter.
"That was fa-" Carter stopped. The words caught in his throat. As he followed the hands to their owners face, he saw that he was staring straight into the eyes of Lucy Knight. Her face as expressionless and for a second which seemed like an hour, they stared at each other.
"Carter, what's happening?" Carter turned as he saw Mark Green rushing up to him. When he turned back to Lucy, she was gone.
"I... I..."
"Carter, what are you doing?! Help this kid!" Carter looked at Kyle, blankly, then at Dr. Green, who was trying to help the boy. He shook his head, brought himself back to reality and got back to work. When the boy was stable again, Carter requested some time off.
"Carter, something's wrong, I know it. Why are you so distant today? Wait, don't answer that. It's because of Lucy, isn't it? You're thinking of her?" Elizabeth Corday's English accent broke into Carter's thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Carter, look at me..." but Carter continued to look down at the table in the coffee shop, "Look at me!" Corday shouted and Carter looked up, "Abby is feeling really wor-"
"Please, Lizzy, I don't really feel like talking now..."
"Carter, you will hear her out!" Abby just appeared at the table. But Carter took no notice. Seeing this, Corday took the time to talk to Abby.
"I can see why you're worried. I'm worried, too,"
"He was fine this morning! It started when he went to see that boy with the gun shot wound..." Abby shook her head.
"Really, I've said it before and I'll say it again, why did this have to happen? Poor Carter..." Poor Carter. Carter heard those words even if he didn't hear anything else. *Yeah, poor me,* he thought, sarcastically, *does anyone ever stop to think 'poor Lucy?' She had her whole life ahead of her and I can't help feeling like I took that away from her. Oh Lucy, I'm so sorry! Was it really you I saw in there?* Carter felt a warm hand on his.
"Lizzy, that isn't necessary, really!" he muttered. Corday stopped talking to Abby and turned to Carter.
"What's unnecessary, John?" she asked, half confused, half concerned. Carter opened his eyes and blinked. He looked up at Corday. Her hand was on her cup of coffee and the other was out of sight. He looked at Abby. Her arms were crossed. Then, slowly, he turned his head to the seat next to him. For the second time that day, Lucy was right in front of him, but this time she was smiling, warmly, comfortingly. Carter pulled his hand away and stood up abruptly. Abby and Lizzy were looking at him as if concerned for his sanity.
"Maybe we should go somewhere else..." Abby suggested, but Carter shook his head slowly, not wanting to take his eyes off of Lucy; not wanting to loose her again. She stood up, too, and she seemed to be glowing, slightly, yet radiantly. In Carter's mind, she lit up the room. She walked over to him, leaned close to him, and whispered in his ear.
"Soon...Tonight..." she said, and smiled. Carter was confused.
"John! Please, you're scaring me!" Abby said, pulling John to face her. He turned, unwillingly and frantically turned his head again to see if Lucy was still there, but she wasn't.
"I... I have to go for a walk..." and he pushed past Abby and went onto the street.
"He shouldn't be out there in his condition," Corday said, watching at the door he had exited.
"What do you mean, 'in his condition?' You're acting as if he's some crazy psycho who just escaped from the insane asylum!" Abby burst out, "I'm going after him!" and she seized her umbrella and went out the door before Corday could reply.
"Carter... John!" Abby cried, racing up to him. His pace was swift and steady and the colossal drops of rain saturated him. Abby offered to share her umbrella but Carter declined.
"Carter, you know you can talk to me whenever you need to," Abby told him, comfortingly, "I've never seen you so isolated! Why won't you let anyone help you? Why won't you talk to anyone?"
"I just don't feel like talking today, OK?" Carter picked up his pace. He began to cross the street when.
"Carter, wait!" Abby screamed, her voice so full of passion and concern that Carter turned. Only then did he realize she really *was* scared for him. He could see it in her eyes. For a minute, the whole world froze. It was just Carter and Abby and no one else. However, Carter stood still for too long because soon, he felt something hit him hard and his head soon came in contact with the solid, cold pavement.
To be contintued... Most Likely...