The four
days until the start of a new school year passed by Cassie faster than a
Firebolt. It seemed like only moments had passed since Sirius' nocturnal
visit…Cassie hastily shoved the memory towards the back of her mind as she felt
the heat rising in her cheeks. She attempted to return her attention to the
Sorting, but found her eyes wandering towards the other teachers seated at the table.
Ever since that first evening meal, an unspoken agreement seemed to have been
made in regards to seating: no matter where the rest were seated, they all made
sure that as much space as possible was kept between Snape and Cassie. She had
a faint suspicion, judging from the ease with which they slipped into this
pattern, that her predecessors had shared her distaste for the greasy haired
potions master.
Glancing
down at the last First Years awaiting Sorting, she watched as 'Wilcox, George!'
was made a Gryffindor. Her eyes followed the small boy to his new House Table.
He hesitated, unsure where to sit, when three of the older students shifted to
give him room. One was a girl, rather plain looking, with bushy brown hair. The
second looked like one of Arthur Weasley's kids—the flaming red hair and
freckles made an unmistakable combination—and the third…
Cassie
sucked in a sharp breath as a powerful rush of déjà vu washed over her. He
looked exactly like James—right down to the unkempt black hair and small, round
glasses. It had to be Harry Potter…Sirius' godson. Her throat constricted
slightly, as she remembered the conversation she'd had with Lily after Harry
had been born…
"So,
Cassie…going back to California?"
Cassie
shook her head. "No…even if I am sick of the food here," she grinned. "Benjy's
staying, so I figure it won't hurt to hang around a while just to annoy him."
Lily shook
her head. She wasn't fooled by the light tone: it was common knowledge that
Cassie would block the Avada Kedavra for her cousin. "If you're staying…Cassie,
you know we've named Sirius as Harry's godfather. I was wondering…if you
would…do us the honor of being his godmother?"
Cassie's
jaw slacked. "I—Lily, I'm honored. Really…but…" she hesitated, and grinned.
"Sounds a little too old-womanish for me. Besides, people might start thinking
Sirius and I were married, God forbid."
Lily
laughed. "There're days when I think you should be—you know how well you get
along."
"You're
forgetting the minor fact that we've barely spoken since we graduated from
Hogwarts."
Shrugging,
Lily replied, "So go talk to him—it's not like your time's run out."
Drawing in
a long breath, Cassie turned her gaze away from the boy at the Gryffindor
table. Lily had been wrong—time had run out, much quicker than any of them
could have guessed. How long until time ran out again? She could kill herself
for not being there when Benjy had needed her most—she didn't want the same
thing to happen with Sirius.
The next
day, Cassie held her first class—and what a class it was. A wary, open-mouthed
gaggle of first-years filled the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, and
as she began to explain what the class was all about, she felt the little
confidence she'd had in her teaching abilities slowly begin to drain away. By
lunch, she felt like she'd been through the wringer, and was dreading her next
class: fifth year Gryffindors.
In they
filed, and her spirits lifted somewhat: these, at least, looked like they might
have an inkling of what was going on. A few, notably the red-haired boy she'd
noticed the night before, looked oddly wary. No surprise there—this class had
been playing musical teachers for the last four years.
Once
everyone was seated, she began a role call. Having already seen Harry, she
managed not to give in to another rush of déjà vu, but she couldn't help
pausing over his name. She'd barely believed Sirius when he'd told her what the
boy had been through, but as she glanced up from the register to his face, she decided
that she might have underestimated—that is, if he'd inherited more from his
father than his appearance.
"Ok…" she
muttered as she reached the end of the scroll. Tossing it onto her desk, she
decided to take a slightly different approach with this class—before she died
of boredom. Ignoring the chair she'd been sitting in all morning, she perched
herself on the edge of the broad wooden desk and surveyed the class.
"I'd
rather not have to drag you through something you already know, so can anyone tell
me, just briefly, what exactly you've covered?"
There was
the usual pause for most students, but one girl near the front—Cassie
recognized her as the one with the bushy brown hair from the Great Hall—nearly
jumped out of her seat as her hand shot into the air. No one seemed surprised
by this.
"All
right, Ms…" Cassie paused, trying to recall the girl's name.
"Granger,
Professor Crichton," the girl supplied eagerly.
Cassie
gestured with one hand for her to continue.
Sounding
as though she was reading a script, the girl began: "Professor, in our third
year we covered hinkypunks, grindylows, werewolves—"
Cassie
raised an eyebrow at that. Remus Lupin had been their third year teacher—she
was surprised he'd allowed them to cover such a topic, considering
his…condition. As she slowly tuned back in, she realized the girl was still
reciting.
"…and in
fourth year, we covered curses—all three of the Unforgivable curses, and the—"
"Thank
you, Ms. Granger," Cassie interrupted dryly, "but when I asked for a summary,
the key word was 'brief'." She got a faint chuckle out of the class at this.
"Now…can anyone else give me a run-down of what you learned fourth year?"
Eventually, she managed to coax a timid-looking girl in the back into
giving her the information she needed. With a satisfied nod, she hopped off the
desk and began to pace the front of the class.
"Ok…sounds
pretty thorough. This year, we'll be getting into the more theoretical side of
things, and at some point I want to go over the more prominent Dark Wizards of
this age." Noting several crestfallen expressions, she added, "I'll try and
leave the more boring details to Professor Binns." A few more muted laughs ran
through the room. "So…first things first…" pulling out her wand, she scribbled
on the blackboard in large letters: "Locations".
"Can
anyone guess where I'm going with this?"
Granger's
hand popped up again.
"Yes, Ms.
Granger?"
"You're
referring to those magical sites which have been used in the past by Dark Wizards?"
Cassie
nodded. "Right—most are known, but we're always discovering a few more. About
three months ago, my team and I were sent out to explore one—the entire place
was littered with booby traps."
A stocky
looking boy in the second to last row queried tentatively, "Your…team,
Professor?"
"I used to
work for the Ministry of Magic—a cross between the Archeology—that's a Muggle
profession that involves studying ancient ruins and artifacts--and the Aurors.
Our job was studying the Dark Arts in all countries—we never actually engaged
Dark Wizards, though."
Slightly
encouraged by the rising interest in their faces, she plowed ahead. "Now…first
I want to talk about one of the most infamous Dark sites in England
today…Stonehenge. Can anyone give us some information on that?"
Cassie was
not surprised when Granger's hand went up again. Seeing no one else had
volunteered, she halted her pacing briefly. "Let me re-phrase the question—can
anyone besides Ms. Granger give us some information on that?"
The girl
blushed and lowered her hand. Cassie felt no remorse though, as a few people
tentatively decided to give it a shot, now that Hermione was no longer in the
running.
The rest
of the class ran smoothly from then on, as did the ones that followed it. When
dinner finally rolled around, Cassie was in a much better frame of mind than
she'd been that morning. This teaching gig was turning out easier than she'd
thought. She stepped cheerily into the Great Hall…and the first thing that met
her gaze was the cold glare of Severus Snape.
Ok…so
there was a downside after all.
The months
flew by for Cassie. Her favorites classes were by far the Gryffindor fifth
years, and from what she'd heard, they were just as enthusiastic. The only
shadow over the next two months was Sirius—or rather, his absence.
Only three
letters, and all of them brief, since the night he'd come to see her. She was
beginning to regret her demand that he stay away, even if she knew it was best
for him—though it certainly wasn't the most pleasant thing for her. Her
insomnia was slowly fading, but she still lay awake some nights, tossing and
turning with the unpleasant company of unwelcome memories. On such nights, she
had taken to wandering the castle halls, perhaps hoping to outrun the guilt
that tailed her every step.
It was a
few hours before dawn, on one of her frequent nocturnal strolls, when she
suddenly found herself in an unfamiliar part of the castle. This wasn't
entirely unusual, but curiosity pushed her feet forward anyway. Finally, she
reached the end of the dusty, darkened hall, and found herself standing before
a nondescript wooden door. Reaching for the handle, she found it unlocked.
Without hesitation, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.
She wasn't
sure what she'd expected to find, but it was not what stood before her now. An
abandoned classroom, with few desks and no chairs…and a mirror. Wondering what
on earth this fancily framed thing was doing here in the dark, she moved
tentatively towards it. There was an inscription on it…the word 'Erised' stood
out in her mind, for some reason. She peered closer to the glass.
Suddenly,
she leapt back, a scream threatening to tear its way out of her throat.
Trembling uncontrollably, she felt her erratic heartbeat hammering an insane
rhythm against her ribcage. Half sobbing, she crept forward and dropped to her
knees in front of the mirror—face to face with Benjy.
Her cousin
looked exactly like her last mental image of him—an image that now seared
itself across her memory like a white-hot iron. He was smiling at her—why?
She'd betrayed him, hadn't been there in time—and he had an arm around her
shoulder. Nervously, Cassie glanced behind her. Turning back to the mirror, she
stared longingly at her cousin.
"I'm
sorry." Words began to tumble from her lips before she had chance to stop them.
"I wanted to be there. We were…hell; I wasn't that busy…if I'd only…" she
paused. "Screw it," she finally announced. "Benjy, I'm beating myself over the
head here," she whispered, tentatively reaching out to touch the mirror-hand on
her shoulder. "I need advice. You were the one always hanging out with James
and Sirius…where would he go? I have to see him; I don't care how screwy that
sounds. God, I never thought…when you see other people in love, you're like,
'That's not gonna happen to me'. And then it does happen to you, and I'm going
crazy, because whenever I see him I know I'd let him do anything to me. It
scares me…I'm not in control." She laughed harshly. "I'm also around the bend,
if I'm talking to a reflection."
Again, she
reached out to touch the mirror, where her cousin's hand rested on her
shoulder. She blinked in surprise. Why was she wearing a ring on her left han—
It took a
split second for her to realize whose wedding ring her mirror image was
wearing. Angrily she dashed a hand across her face, trying to clear her vision
of the tears. Then, she realized she wasn't alone.
Pushing
herself to her feet, she spun around. Blinking at the shadowy figure—the only
light source came from the hallway—she was about to speak, when he saved her
the trouble
"Sleepless
night?"
Snape. Oh
God…Cassie felt, at that moment, that she'd rather endure the Cruciatus Curse
until it killed her than stand there holding back tears in front of what she
considered the lowest piece of scum the earth could concoct. Her embarrassment
and anger made her tone ever more harsh as she snarled, "What the fuck are you
doing here?"
It was
only when he stepped into the room and away from the door that she could see
his face, which she realized was devoid of it's usual sneer. In fact, he looked
strangely calm.
"Despite
what you obviously believe, I'm not here to mock you."
"Yeah,
right," Cassie said bitterly. "So what are you doing here?" As she spoke, she
abruptly remembered where she knew the word 'Erised' from. "Come to have a look
in the mirror so you can see the Dark Lord rise to power again?"
He
stiffened at her implication that his deepest desire was to see Voldemort rise
again. "I'm not one of his followers anymore."
He sounded
sincere, and for an instant she was tempted by the insane desire to accept his
words. Then, her perception of reality reasserted itself. "Yes, and I'm sure we
can all see what a fabulous effect it's had on your personality." The words
were hollow even to her ears. All she wanted was to be left in peace, in the
dark, alone with her grief.
Snape
simply stared her down in silence. Ineffectual rage heated her blood to fever
pitch as she searched in vain for some sort of sarcasm, a barb to tear away his
infuriatingly calm mask. No inspiration came, and each continued to watch the
other for a moment.
"Sleep
well, Cassie."
Cassie
blinked, and opened her mouth to reply—but he was already gone, and she could
barely hear the swish of his cloak and the sound of his footsteps as he
disappeared down the hall. Silently she contemplated the sympathetic, smiling
image of her cousin. When the silence became so heavy she thought her sanity
might be crushed by it, she stood and walked out without a backward glance.
Hand
frozen, halfway towards the door to the small country home, Cassie reflected on
the wisdom of being here. The Christmas exams were over, and school was finally
out for both teachers and students. Not a single word from Sirius the entire
time. So she had come here, instead: to Remus Lupin's house. It was logical,
actually…if anyone knew where to find Sirius, Remus would. Yet…he hadn't
written her, hadn't contacted her. Did he even want to see her?
Cassie
frowned. She hated this insecurity. So she knocked on the door and held her
breath, hoping she'd been right and that Remus could tell her where Sirius was.
Warily,
the familiar head of salt-and-pepper hair peered out around the doorframe.
Remus narrowed his eyes as he recognized her, and Cassie flinched. Then, he
smiled—she started to breath again.
"Cassie…come in, please." He opened the door wider, and she stepped
inside. It was a small, modest place, which didn't surprise Cassie in the
least. Gesturing her to a seat on the rather battered couch, he settled into
the armchair across.
"Can I get
you anything?"
She shook
her head. "No…I'm fine, thanks."
"He's
here."
She
momentarily stopped breathing again. "Wha—where—here?" She didn't even try to
stop her eyes from widening, and she was fully aware that her mouth was
slightly agape. Remus smiled.
"The man's
been impossible to talk to—when he isn't worrying about Harry, he's thinking of
you. It makes for a rather absent minded conversation." Grinning, he added, "He
wouldn't say anything, but I knew something was on his mind…one day I caught
him writing a letter to you. He was agonizing over whether he'd said too much
or too little, and he finally decided it'd be better to wait and visit you over
the holidays in person."
Lupin's
eyes suddenly focused on something just behind her, and his expression sobered
slightly. Turning, Cassie found herself face to face with Sirius. For an
instant, she simply sat there, and he simply stood, both impassive and
seemingly blank. Then—
--he was
kissing her. How the hell did he get me off the couch so fast?, she
thought dizzily. All she knew was that one moment, she'd been sitting, and the
next she was in his arms, being kissed breathless. The world spun, melted, and
reformed itself in that brief stretch of eternity—it was like she'd taken a
shot of pure ecstasy. She was on a world-class high, and she wasn't coming down
any time soon.
Slowly, he
pulled away. Breathing heavily, feeling as though she'd just had life support
cut off, she stood helplessly for a second. Staring up into his incredibly
deep, dark eyes, she wondered vaguely how idiotic she must look.
Remus
cleared his throat. "Padfoot, if you're going to romance her, perhaps I should
leave?"
Cassie
jerked away from Sirius guiltily, realizing what a show they'd been putting on.
Sirius, however, grinned unabashedly. "I don't mind an audience, but for the
sake of the lady…" he rested a hand on her arm. "We'll leave."
She didn't even ask where he was taking
her; she simply accepted the fact that wherever it was, she would follow. It was
puppyish, simpering, and in some logical part of her mind, pathetic—it was also
an undeniable fact.
