Cynic's
Guide to Life:
1. Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at
work in your underwear during a fire drill.
2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and
sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me
alone.
4. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
5. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're
going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
6. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay
on your land.