Jerry Springer: When Past Guests Attack!
Written by Jessie
If one wishes to talk to the author about anything, she's reached at:
MinakoX33@aol.com
Visit Senshi no Sekai at:
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/ginza/6620
NOTES:
This was written in response to the overwhelming response I got from my
"Very Special Episode of Jerry Springer" fanfic... I hope to get just as
much from this story.
This was written during the short-lived period of time in which the show was
editing out the numerous fights... I poked a slight bit of fun at that...
To understand a lot of these jokes, especially the ones at the end, it's
almost mandatory that one reads Jackie Chiang's Sailor Moon A story 6:
Insanity At a Glance. ::bows to Jackie-sama and begs forgiveness for making
light of her works::
[Mandatory Bandai Logo]
[Clips from the coming episode]
ANNOUNCER
Today, On Jerry Springer...
Full frontal nudity!!!!!
[Clips of Sailor Mars, topless and nursing]
And, of course, the mandatory fights!
[Scenes showing Sailor Venus bashing Mamoru on the head with a baseball bat]
All this and more on the next Jerry Springer!!
[Jerry Springer's theme song is played, and Jerry walks out to the crowd's
chants of, "Jerry, Jerry!!"]
JERRY
Thank you everyone. We have an exciting show planned today. In response to
the amazing response we received to our episode spotlighting the Sailor
Senshi, we've convinced them to come back to our show!
[Loud cheers from the audience]
JERRY
If you remember, last time we saw Ms. Aino Minako, AKA Sailor Venus, she was
being carted away to the nut house. Well, it appears that she's recovered.
Aino-san, could you please join us?
[Minako cheerily skips onstage and sits in the first chair]
JERRY
So, Ms. Minako, what exactly was it that drove you insane in the first place?
MINAKO
I'm not crazy.
JERRY (Scoffing)
Sure you're not.
MINAKO (angry)
Really, I'm not! That's what everyone's been telling me for these past few
months. That I'm crazy. 'Look at the nut, Minako!' They'd say. But, I don't
believe them. They're all just mistaken, deluded. They all read those Jackie
Chiang fanfiction stories and think I'm just like them.
JERRY
Um... Okay.
Anyway, in other news, the last time we saw Sailor Moon, she was pretty
peeved at her boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. She had just caught him doing some
cootchy-coo with Queen Beryl.
[Jerry gestures to a blood stain on the carpet]
JERRY
Needless to say, Beryl didn't come out of it too well.
Well, we've brought the happy couple back!
Sailor Moon, Chiba-san, come on out!
[Sailor Moon walks out, holding a taut leash. A few seconds later, Mamoru is
dragged out on the other side of the same leash]
MAMORU (gasping and choking)
Usa... Usako... It's really hard to breathe like this... I can walk by
myself, you know...
MOON
Did I say you could talk?
[Mamoru shakes his head silently and Sailor Moon smiles]
MOON
Thought not. Now, Be a good boy and shut up.
AUDIENCE
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh...............
[Sailor Moon takes out one of her many rods and points it at the audience]
MOON
And I don't want to hear anything from you. I came on this show as a favor
for one person only, and it wasn't you! Anyone who says anything about this
gets a Moon Gorgeous Meditation up their [beep]!!!!
JERRY
Ms. Moon, are you feeling all right? You seem a little violent today.
MOON
Well, it's about time for me to stop being the ditzy blond, the crybaby, and
the clutz. Besides, Minako had that market cornered long before I came along.
MINAKO
HEY!!! You piece of [beep]!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Minako jumps up and looks for her henshin stick. Sailor Moon smiles even
more as she holds up an orange stick with the sign of Venus on it]
MOON
Looking for something, Minako? Isn't it time for your medication, anyways?
MINAKO
Fine.
[Minako pops a small pink pill. Her expression immediately turns calm and
mellow]
MINAKO
Oooohhh, wow. I feel so much better now.
MOON
Just sit down, okay?
[Minako sits]
MOON
We had to take away her henshin rod just in case she got like that. It
happens a lot.
JERRY
All right...
[To himself]
Why did I agree to have another show with these nutbags?
[To Sailor Moon]
Ms. Moon, You said that there was only one person who convinced you to come
back on this show. Who was it?
MOON
Myself.
JERRY
Excuse me?
MOON
You heard me. Or, rather the incarnation of myself from one of the many
possible futures, which everyone has seemed to accept as the valid one even
though Pluto keeps telling us that if we don't watch out and stop being so
goddamn ditzy, one day we could wake up with a garnet rod stuck through our
brains, and THEN where would our future be?
JERRY
I'm not going to go anywhere NEAR that one. So, does this future you have a
name?
MOON
Neo Queen Serenity. She sent a note back with Chibiusa telling me that it
would be best for everyone if I came back on this cockamamie show. I don't
know nor do I care why at this point.
JERRY
Well, let's see if Chibimoon can help shed some light on this situation.
[A teenage Sailor Chibimoon skips out]
CHIBIMOON (cheery)
Hi, Usagi! What's up?
[Sailor Moon growls]
JERRY
So, Ms. Chibimoon, why exactly is it so important for you all to be back on
this show?
[Whispers]
Between the two of us, I wouldn't send my worst enemy up for torture like
this.
CHIBIMOON
Well, Mama Mars said it was good to make sure that Mama Usagi came on this
show 'cause there's something important that's gonna happen that I'm not
allowed to tell anyone about.
MINAKO
I'm not insane, y'know!
JERRY
Of course you're not, Minako-san. Anyway, Ms. Chibimoon, is there anything
you wish to say to anyone here?
[Chibimoon waves to Mamoru]
CHIBIMOON
Hi, Papa!! How're ya feeling?
[Mamoru looks up from his spot on the floor]
MAMORU
Chibiusa-chan, you're from the future... Please tell me she's just going
through a phase.
CHIBIMOON
She's just going through a phase.
[Mamoru sighs with relief]
Yeah, you REALLY hated the other ones.
MAMORU
Other ones??
CHIBIMOON
Oh, yeah! There was the one where you broke into the old Dark Kingdom base
and played "Queen Beryl and Endymion," and then there was where you went to
the old Dead Moon Tent and played "Neherenia and Mamoru," and then...
MAMORU
That's ENOUGH, sweetie. Thank you. I didn't really need to know that.
CHIBIMOON
You asked.
JERRY
O-Kay! This is truly an event! Four guests, and not a fight yet!! These new
guidelines are really taking effect! With that in mind, let's bring out a
familiar face. The Senshi of Fire and Passion, Sailor Mars!!
[A topless Sailor Mars walks out, with a small baby nursing on her]
[Chibimoon skips over and waves to the baby]
CHIBIMOON
Hi, little me! Are you behaving for Mama Mars? I know you are!
[Chibimoon takes the baby and begins playing with it]
JERRY
Um... Ms. Mars... This isn't a (completely) Hentai show... yet...
MARS
Are you telling me that a woman can't breastfeed wherever she pleases???
Listen, Jerry! This child has needs and I'm not going to stop whatever I'm
doing in order to find a 'private place' so I can abide by all of your
society's 'rules'! Things aren't like this is the temple, y'know! There, a
girl can go stark [beep]ing nekkid if she wants, and no one'll give a rat's
ass! And y'know why?
JERRY (Not really wanting to hear the answer)
Why?
MARS
Because my Grandpa's a Hentai old pervert who gets a kick out of the whole
[beep]ing thing!
JERRY
I see you've learned quite a few vocabulary words since we last met.
MOON
Yeah, well, that has a lot to do with the fact that she's been having an
affair with my man!!
MARS
He didn't act like 'your' [beep]ing man when I [beep]ed him last night!
MOON
You [beep]ing [beep]!!!!!!!!
[Obviously cut fight scene]
[Sailor Moon is now trying to cover herself with the few shreds that remain
of her costume]
[Sailor Mars is holding her baby and crying hysterically]
MARS (In between sniffles)
I... I'm sorry Usagi.... Can you ever forgive me?
MOON
Sure thing, Rei-chan...
MOON & MARS
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
JERRY
Wow, that was a once in a lifetime event! I've never seen such a fight on
this show! It was unbelievable! I'm speechless. Let's go to a commercial, and
when we come back, I'll have more with the Sailor Senshi!
[CM Break]
[The author doesn't feel like writing in a farce of a commercial]
[End of CM Break]
JERRY
For those just tuning in, today we're bringing back our most popular guests
to date, the Sailor Senshi. Now, last time, Sailor Mercury couldn't be with
us. But, we've got her here today! Let's welcome Sailor Mercury!
[Sailor Mercury walks out, and curtsies to the audience before taking a seat
beside Sailor Mars]
JERRY
It's great to finally meet you, Ms. Mercury. Last time, you were too busy
doing Ms. Moon's homework to come on the show.
MERCURY
Well, Jerry, I've got a confession to make...
JERRY
You've come to the right show. What is it?
MERCURY
I wasn't doing Usagi's homework that day. Although, I WAS making sure we got
better grades...
MOON
Ami-chan, what do you mean?
MERCURY
I was sleeping with Tanaka-sensei...
[Gasps from everyone]
JERRY
What? Can you explain this, Ms. Mercury?
MERCURY
Certainly. I never really bothered to study for all those tests. I've never
taken a test in my life. I sleep with the teachers in exchange for A's.
JERRY
But, isn't that a little cheap of you?
MERCURY
Compared to what some people get away with on this show...
[Glares at Mars]
I'm a nun...
MARS
Oh yeah? Well, I know nuns with a better sex lif---
[Finally gets what Ami was talking about]
Oh, nevermind.....
MOON
But, Ami-chan, what about the books you were always reading?
MINAKO
And, the way you always used to tell me, "Don't be crazy, Minako! Study!!"
[Smiles]
And, I'm not crazy, y'know. Just because I didn't study was no reason to lock
me in that big white room!! THERE WAS NO REASON!!!!!!! THERE'S NO [beep]ING
REASON!!!!!!!
[The Big Security Guards give Minako some tranquilizers]
MERCURY
...
[blinks]
...
Anyway, all that stuff was an act so no one got suspicious as to why I kept
getting those grades. The books I'd always drag around with me were really
about new positions I could try... I mean, after 12 years of screwing my
teachers, I started to get bored with the same old things... I just put a
cover on it that said something about "Environmental Chemistry" on it, and no
one dared look in it. It was the perfect system. But now that High School's
out, I don't worry about anyone knowing, since I have no plans for college.
MARS
But, I thought you wanted to be a doctor?
MERCURY
Oh, yeah. I'll probably become a psychologist. All they do is sit around on
their asses all day and give people like Minako pills. Any idiot can do that
job.
MINAKO
I'M NOT INSANE, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!
[A white cat comes running onto the stage]
ARTEMIS
Someone grab her! She's still got her--
[Minako kicks Artemis in the gut, sending him flying into the audience]
[Minako waves a pen in the air]
MINAKO
Moon Power Make Up!!!!!!
[Minako transforms into Sailor V, complete with nifty red mask]
[Minako holds up a compact]
SAILOR V
Crescent beam!!!!!!!!
[Half the audience gets taken out]
[The big Security Guards run onstage to try and stop Minako]
[Minako Crescent Beams them into nonexistence]
[Minako then looks behind a chair and finds the baseball bat Umino used in
the last episode]
SAILOR V
Must... Kill... The Lovers...
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Obviously cut scene]
[Someone in the Audience screams]
JERRY (While trying to find his glasses)
Well, that really was something. Mamoru, we'll try and get the hospital to
look at that. It can't be anything too serious...
MAMORU
Gruuuu....
MOON
I swear, if that bitch ever gets out of the looney bin again...
MARS
Baka, she can't! You killed her, remember?
[Points to the new blood stain on the run, symmetric to the one from where
Beryl died]
MOON
Oh, yeah. It feels so good, I forget sometimes...
MARS
Now, don't you start going homicidal on us, too...
MOON
I'm not insane!!!
JERRY (Wide-eyed)
Okay, [beep] the commercial break, it's really [beep]ed up of producers to
shove these [beep]ing senshi back on my nice, safe show after the [beep] they
pulled last time. I'm going back to the nice, safe, hicks after this... I'm
Jerry Springer, and this is my final thought. Until next time, take care of
yourselves, and each other...
[nothing happens]
JERRY
GOD DANM IT!!! I ENDED THE [beep]ING SHOW ALREADY!!!! I don't care if there's
still fifteen minutes in the show!!! I'm trying to stay alive at this point!!
THIS SHOW IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!
[Jerry shoves a hand into the cameras]
[Static]
[End]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, what do you think? This was shorter than my first one, but I think you
get the picture... ^.~
I was actually thinking of turning this into a sort of humor series. It'd
involve the senshi going on different talk shows and interacting with the
hosts (Well, I can't very well do another Jerry fic after this... Or can I?
Feedback Majority rules on this matter...). Next show? Probably either Jay
Leno, Conan O'Brian, or Rosie O'Donnell...
Remember my email addy: MinakoX33@aol.com
If you want to see other fanfics I've done, or just see my page, it's at
http://kawaii-jessie.virtualave.net
Written by Jessie
If one wishes to talk to the author about anything, she's reached at:
MinakoX33@aol.com
Visit Senshi no Sekai at:
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/ginza/6620
NOTES:
This was written in response to the overwhelming response I got from my
"Very Special Episode of Jerry Springer" fanfic... I hope to get just as
much from this story.
This was written during the short-lived period of time in which the show was
editing out the numerous fights... I poked a slight bit of fun at that...
To understand a lot of these jokes, especially the ones at the end, it's
almost mandatory that one reads Jackie Chiang's Sailor Moon A story 6:
Insanity At a Glance. ::bows to Jackie-sama and begs forgiveness for making
light of her works::
[Mandatory Bandai Logo]
[Clips from the coming episode]
ANNOUNCER
Today, On Jerry Springer...
Full frontal nudity!!!!!
[Clips of Sailor Mars, topless and nursing]
And, of course, the mandatory fights!
[Scenes showing Sailor Venus bashing Mamoru on the head with a baseball bat]
All this and more on the next Jerry Springer!!
[Jerry Springer's theme song is played, and Jerry walks out to the crowd's
chants of, "Jerry, Jerry!!"]
JERRY
Thank you everyone. We have an exciting show planned today. In response to
the amazing response we received to our episode spotlighting the Sailor
Senshi, we've convinced them to come back to our show!
[Loud cheers from the audience]
JERRY
If you remember, last time we saw Ms. Aino Minako, AKA Sailor Venus, she was
being carted away to the nut house. Well, it appears that she's recovered.
Aino-san, could you please join us?
[Minako cheerily skips onstage and sits in the first chair]
JERRY
So, Ms. Minako, what exactly was it that drove you insane in the first place?
MINAKO
I'm not crazy.
JERRY (Scoffing)
Sure you're not.
MINAKO (angry)
Really, I'm not! That's what everyone's been telling me for these past few
months. That I'm crazy. 'Look at the nut, Minako!' They'd say. But, I don't
believe them. They're all just mistaken, deluded. They all read those Jackie
Chiang fanfiction stories and think I'm just like them.
JERRY
Um... Okay.
Anyway, in other news, the last time we saw Sailor Moon, she was pretty
peeved at her boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. She had just caught him doing some
cootchy-coo with Queen Beryl.
[Jerry gestures to a blood stain on the carpet]
JERRY
Needless to say, Beryl didn't come out of it too well.
Well, we've brought the happy couple back!
Sailor Moon, Chiba-san, come on out!
[Sailor Moon walks out, holding a taut leash. A few seconds later, Mamoru is
dragged out on the other side of the same leash]
MAMORU (gasping and choking)
Usa... Usako... It's really hard to breathe like this... I can walk by
myself, you know...
MOON
Did I say you could talk?
[Mamoru shakes his head silently and Sailor Moon smiles]
MOON
Thought not. Now, Be a good boy and shut up.
AUDIENCE
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh...............
[Sailor Moon takes out one of her many rods and points it at the audience]
MOON
And I don't want to hear anything from you. I came on this show as a favor
for one person only, and it wasn't you! Anyone who says anything about this
gets a Moon Gorgeous Meditation up their [beep]!!!!
JERRY
Ms. Moon, are you feeling all right? You seem a little violent today.
MOON
Well, it's about time for me to stop being the ditzy blond, the crybaby, and
the clutz. Besides, Minako had that market cornered long before I came along.
MINAKO
HEY!!! You piece of [beep]!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Minako jumps up and looks for her henshin stick. Sailor Moon smiles even
more as she holds up an orange stick with the sign of Venus on it]
MOON
Looking for something, Minako? Isn't it time for your medication, anyways?
MINAKO
Fine.
[Minako pops a small pink pill. Her expression immediately turns calm and
mellow]
MINAKO
Oooohhh, wow. I feel so much better now.
MOON
Just sit down, okay?
[Minako sits]
MOON
We had to take away her henshin rod just in case she got like that. It
happens a lot.
JERRY
All right...
[To himself]
Why did I agree to have another show with these nutbags?
[To Sailor Moon]
Ms. Moon, You said that there was only one person who convinced you to come
back on this show. Who was it?
MOON
Myself.
JERRY
Excuse me?
MOON
You heard me. Or, rather the incarnation of myself from one of the many
possible futures, which everyone has seemed to accept as the valid one even
though Pluto keeps telling us that if we don't watch out and stop being so
goddamn ditzy, one day we could wake up with a garnet rod stuck through our
brains, and THEN where would our future be?
JERRY
I'm not going to go anywhere NEAR that one. So, does this future you have a
name?
MOON
Neo Queen Serenity. She sent a note back with Chibiusa telling me that it
would be best for everyone if I came back on this cockamamie show. I don't
know nor do I care why at this point.
JERRY
Well, let's see if Chibimoon can help shed some light on this situation.
[A teenage Sailor Chibimoon skips out]
CHIBIMOON (cheery)
Hi, Usagi! What's up?
[Sailor Moon growls]
JERRY
So, Ms. Chibimoon, why exactly is it so important for you all to be back on
this show?
[Whispers]
Between the two of us, I wouldn't send my worst enemy up for torture like
this.
CHIBIMOON
Well, Mama Mars said it was good to make sure that Mama Usagi came on this
show 'cause there's something important that's gonna happen that I'm not
allowed to tell anyone about.
MINAKO
I'm not insane, y'know!
JERRY
Of course you're not, Minako-san. Anyway, Ms. Chibimoon, is there anything
you wish to say to anyone here?
[Chibimoon waves to Mamoru]
CHIBIMOON
Hi, Papa!! How're ya feeling?
[Mamoru looks up from his spot on the floor]
MAMORU
Chibiusa-chan, you're from the future... Please tell me she's just going
through a phase.
CHIBIMOON
She's just going through a phase.
[Mamoru sighs with relief]
Yeah, you REALLY hated the other ones.
MAMORU
Other ones??
CHIBIMOON
Oh, yeah! There was the one where you broke into the old Dark Kingdom base
and played "Queen Beryl and Endymion," and then there was where you went to
the old Dead Moon Tent and played "Neherenia and Mamoru," and then...
MAMORU
That's ENOUGH, sweetie. Thank you. I didn't really need to know that.
CHIBIMOON
You asked.
JERRY
O-Kay! This is truly an event! Four guests, and not a fight yet!! These new
guidelines are really taking effect! With that in mind, let's bring out a
familiar face. The Senshi of Fire and Passion, Sailor Mars!!
[A topless Sailor Mars walks out, with a small baby nursing on her]
[Chibimoon skips over and waves to the baby]
CHIBIMOON
Hi, little me! Are you behaving for Mama Mars? I know you are!
[Chibimoon takes the baby and begins playing with it]
JERRY
Um... Ms. Mars... This isn't a (completely) Hentai show... yet...
MARS
Are you telling me that a woman can't breastfeed wherever she pleases???
Listen, Jerry! This child has needs and I'm not going to stop whatever I'm
doing in order to find a 'private place' so I can abide by all of your
society's 'rules'! Things aren't like this is the temple, y'know! There, a
girl can go stark [beep]ing nekkid if she wants, and no one'll give a rat's
ass! And y'know why?
JERRY (Not really wanting to hear the answer)
Why?
MARS
Because my Grandpa's a Hentai old pervert who gets a kick out of the whole
[beep]ing thing!
JERRY
I see you've learned quite a few vocabulary words since we last met.
MOON
Yeah, well, that has a lot to do with the fact that she's been having an
affair with my man!!
MARS
He didn't act like 'your' [beep]ing man when I [beep]ed him last night!
MOON
You [beep]ing [beep]!!!!!!!!
[Obviously cut fight scene]
[Sailor Moon is now trying to cover herself with the few shreds that remain
of her costume]
[Sailor Mars is holding her baby and crying hysterically]
MARS (In between sniffles)
I... I'm sorry Usagi.... Can you ever forgive me?
MOON
Sure thing, Rei-chan...
MOON & MARS
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
JERRY
Wow, that was a once in a lifetime event! I've never seen such a fight on
this show! It was unbelievable! I'm speechless. Let's go to a commercial, and
when we come back, I'll have more with the Sailor Senshi!
[CM Break]
[The author doesn't feel like writing in a farce of a commercial]
[End of CM Break]
JERRY
For those just tuning in, today we're bringing back our most popular guests
to date, the Sailor Senshi. Now, last time, Sailor Mercury couldn't be with
us. But, we've got her here today! Let's welcome Sailor Mercury!
[Sailor Mercury walks out, and curtsies to the audience before taking a seat
beside Sailor Mars]
JERRY
It's great to finally meet you, Ms. Mercury. Last time, you were too busy
doing Ms. Moon's homework to come on the show.
MERCURY
Well, Jerry, I've got a confession to make...
JERRY
You've come to the right show. What is it?
MERCURY
I wasn't doing Usagi's homework that day. Although, I WAS making sure we got
better grades...
MOON
Ami-chan, what do you mean?
MERCURY
I was sleeping with Tanaka-sensei...
[Gasps from everyone]
JERRY
What? Can you explain this, Ms. Mercury?
MERCURY
Certainly. I never really bothered to study for all those tests. I've never
taken a test in my life. I sleep with the teachers in exchange for A's.
JERRY
But, isn't that a little cheap of you?
MERCURY
Compared to what some people get away with on this show...
[Glares at Mars]
I'm a nun...
MARS
Oh yeah? Well, I know nuns with a better sex lif---
[Finally gets what Ami was talking about]
Oh, nevermind.....
MOON
But, Ami-chan, what about the books you were always reading?
MINAKO
And, the way you always used to tell me, "Don't be crazy, Minako! Study!!"
[Smiles]
And, I'm not crazy, y'know. Just because I didn't study was no reason to lock
me in that big white room!! THERE WAS NO REASON!!!!!!! THERE'S NO [beep]ING
REASON!!!!!!!
[The Big Security Guards give Minako some tranquilizers]
MERCURY
...
[blinks]
...
Anyway, all that stuff was an act so no one got suspicious as to why I kept
getting those grades. The books I'd always drag around with me were really
about new positions I could try... I mean, after 12 years of screwing my
teachers, I started to get bored with the same old things... I just put a
cover on it that said something about "Environmental Chemistry" on it, and no
one dared look in it. It was the perfect system. But now that High School's
out, I don't worry about anyone knowing, since I have no plans for college.
MARS
But, I thought you wanted to be a doctor?
MERCURY
Oh, yeah. I'll probably become a psychologist. All they do is sit around on
their asses all day and give people like Minako pills. Any idiot can do that
job.
MINAKO
I'M NOT INSANE, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!
[A white cat comes running onto the stage]
ARTEMIS
Someone grab her! She's still got her--
[Minako kicks Artemis in the gut, sending him flying into the audience]
[Minako waves a pen in the air]
MINAKO
Moon Power Make Up!!!!!!
[Minako transforms into Sailor V, complete with nifty red mask]
[Minako holds up a compact]
SAILOR V
Crescent beam!!!!!!!!
[Half the audience gets taken out]
[The big Security Guards run onstage to try and stop Minako]
[Minako Crescent Beams them into nonexistence]
[Minako then looks behind a chair and finds the baseball bat Umino used in
the last episode]
SAILOR V
Must... Kill... The Lovers...
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Obviously cut scene]
[Someone in the Audience screams]
JERRY (While trying to find his glasses)
Well, that really was something. Mamoru, we'll try and get the hospital to
look at that. It can't be anything too serious...
MAMORU
Gruuuu....
MOON
I swear, if that bitch ever gets out of the looney bin again...
MARS
Baka, she can't! You killed her, remember?
[Points to the new blood stain on the run, symmetric to the one from where
Beryl died]
MOON
Oh, yeah. It feels so good, I forget sometimes...
MARS
Now, don't you start going homicidal on us, too...
MOON
I'm not insane!!!
JERRY (Wide-eyed)
Okay, [beep] the commercial break, it's really [beep]ed up of producers to
shove these [beep]ing senshi back on my nice, safe show after the [beep] they
pulled last time. I'm going back to the nice, safe, hicks after this... I'm
Jerry Springer, and this is my final thought. Until next time, take care of
yourselves, and each other...
[nothing happens]
JERRY
GOD DANM IT!!! I ENDED THE [beep]ING SHOW ALREADY!!!! I don't care if there's
still fifteen minutes in the show!!! I'm trying to stay alive at this point!!
THIS SHOW IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!
[Jerry shoves a hand into the cameras]
[Static]
[End]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, what do you think? This was shorter than my first one, but I think you
get the picture... ^.~
I was actually thinking of turning this into a sort of humor series. It'd
involve the senshi going on different talk shows and interacting with the
hosts (Well, I can't very well do another Jerry fic after this... Or can I?
Feedback Majority rules on this matter...). Next show? Probably either Jay
Leno, Conan O'Brian, or Rosie O'Donnell...
Remember my email addy: MinakoX33@aol.com
If you want to see other fanfics I've done, or just see my page, it's at
http://kawaii-jessie.virtualave.net