"Fall"
*****
When I look back, I know the day all of this started. It was a day like any other…. we chase the bad guys, try to follow the rules to build a case and hope that in the end it's enough for a conviction. There have been several times in the course of our partnership that one of us has been hit, shot or in some way injured. It's part of the risk of the job, one that all cops know well. We've both seen friends on the force killed in meaningless shoot outs, I mean, Dee Dee lost her own husband because of a scumbag criminal who didn't want to go to jail.
This day ended differently because we watched our lives seem to play out in front of us. Kitty O'Hearn lay sobbing over the body of her partner, Brad Navarro. He lay, already pronounced dead, surrounded in a pool of blood. McCall stood watching her, reading the scene as though she were engrossed in a Danielle Steele novel, recognizing something in O'Hearn's eyes. Regret. Plain and simple. Kitty had confided more than once in McCall that she was in love with Navarro, but just couldn't risk their friendship to tell him. Ever since he and Kathy had divorced three years before, she'd longed to be honest with him, tell him she loved him… Now, she'd never have the chance.
*****
"Calling All Units, a robbery in progress at 1470 E. Ridgeview. Handon's Jewelry Store - two suspects armed and dangerous. Proceed with caution" We're not robbery, but of course we took the call. We were only about ten blocks away and were to the jewelry store within two minutes. O'Hearn and Navarro had arrived there only seconds before. McCall radioed in that we were responding, and we knew backup would be there soon. We saw the two guys running out the side exit, so Navarro and I took off after them. They got a head start, but I could run fast and soon had caught up with one of them, Brad heading east after the younger one. I jumped the older one, and had him on the ground reading him his rights, when I heard the shot. By the time I got my guy cuffed and back to the store, someone had already shouted, "Officer down" and called the EMT's. My first thought was of McCall, and no amount of words can describe the relief I felt when I saw her standing there with a look of worry. "It's Navarro, he's down," she said grimly.
The sight is one that will always be imprinted in my memory, I don't think you ever forget the sight of a friend dying. I threw my suspect towards a uniformed officer and ran to the scene. McCall looked over at me with these eyes filled with pain and something else… terror. She had her hands over her mouth, watching O'Hearn beg and plead with Brad to not leave her, to not go.
They said later that when they got to the hospital, they almost couldn't tell which of them was shot - they were both covered in his blood. I saw another officer die, a friend lose his life for no reason, but McCall saw so much more.
*******
At the funeral, we stood side by side, watching Kitty try to keep her composure as much as possible. She knew half the force thought they were sleeping together, even though they weren't, but right then she could care less. Her grief was so strong, so open, that it radiated from her. The funeral of an officer was always hard, it brought back the realization of the risk we faced everyday, but I noticed McCall seemed to be struggling. I caught myself watching her, sensing that somehow this was affecting her more than usual, though I wasn't sure why.
We rode in the car to her house afterwards, a comfortable silence having settled between us in the car like an extra passenger. She made coffee, as I discarded my jacket to the chair and watched her fish swimming back and forth. She handed me a cup of coffee and patted the couch next to her, for me to sit. "McCall, are you okay?" I questioned. Her usual answer "I'm fine," came back, but I sensed she wasn't finished yet.
"I've just been thinking."
"About what?" She bit her lip, as she did so often when thinking and letting a drawn out pause speak for itself. She looked out in the distance when she started talking, as though she was talking to herself and I was simply being allowed to listen in, "I watched Kitty when she was there with Brad. She was begging him not to die, begging him to stay with her… and I saw us. I guess, more than that, I saw her regrets. She'd confided in me more than once that she loved him. Not like two friends love each other, but the kind of love that a man and woman share when they are in love. But, she never told him. She was too afraid of losing his friendship or screwing up what they had and she didn't think she could handle it if he didn't feel the same way." She continued to stare off in space as she continued, "Hunter, I don't want something to happen and to feel the same way." My heart started beating faster as I digested what she was saying. She finally allowed her eyes to focus on mine, letting me in on the conversation, but more importantly letting me in on her heart. "Rick, I love you. I think I've been in love with you almost as long as we've been partners, but I've never been able to tell you. For all the same reasons that Kitty never told Brad. I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way, and may still not, but I just can't see what she's going through and live with myself without telling you. Even if it means risking it all, I have to let you know that I'm in love with you." The words had tumbled out of her mouth, even though I knew she'd probably been rehearsing them for the last two days. I couldn't help the smile that was flowing across my face. How long had I dreamed of this moment? Known that I felt the same way, and yet been afraid of telling her for the exact reasons she'd just said? I realized that I'd sat there for a few moments, saying nothing, simply enjoying the moment of when Dee Dee McCall first told me she loved me. I carefully sat my untouched coffee down, and removed hers from her hand as well. As I leaned in to give her the first of a lifetime of kisses, I watched her eyes slowly close and willed myself to keep a snapshot of this moment in my head. This was the first moment of the rest of my life.