"Spring"
*************
He sat watching her, begging her eyes to open. The longed to see the pools of brown that could warm his heart or break it in two, as it had done for the last two weeks. The surgery had been over five hours, the bullet having done extensive damage to her lungs and other vital organs. She'd lost a lot of blood and the doctors were amazed she'd even made it through the surgery. The coma that she had lapsed into wasn't a surprise, and they tried to warn Hunter that her chances weren't exactly that of a winning lottery ticket.
Charlie said that she'd knocked on the door of a suspect, identified herself as LAPD, and a bullet had shot through the door before she even had a chance to react. So he sat. And he sat, and he sat. Fearing that if he left her side for a moment, she might not be there when she got back. He blamed himself for letting her go off by herself, it didn't matter if they'd both been mad and had made this choice a joint one. If he'd been there, this wouldn't have happened - he wouldn't have let it, knowing that he'd have made sure he was the one who took the bullet instead. Charlie had tried to assure him that even if he'd been there, there was no way anyone could have known that this would happen.
How had things gotten to this point? When had he let himself forget that loving her was the most worthwhile and perfect thing he'd ever done? What had he done? He took her limp hand in hers, "Dee Dee, they always say that people in a coma can hear the voices of the people they love. I know right now that you might not think that I'm someone you love, but I do love you. I'm so sorry for the last two weeks. They've been the most miserable two weeks of my life.
After Navarro died, you told me that you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't risk it and tell me how you felt. You were right. You risked it McCall, and I've never been so happy." He struggled with the words, instead wanting to weep and beg her to wake up. "Please, Dee Dee, give me another chance. Risk it - come back from where ever you are, I promise we'll figure something out." He searched her face for sign of recognition, a sign of hope.…a sign of life. "In the movies, isn't this where you're supposed to wake up and say, 'okay, you big stud, take me to bed or lose me forever'?" He waited for her to say her line, but all he heard was the sound of her monitors reporting that her body was at least fighting for a chance. "Okay, you sleep for now, but I'm not giving up on us. I'm not."
The next three days were a blur of red bleeps, nurses and doctors for Hunter. He positively refused to budge, so they allowed him to stay there long past visiting hours, and pretended not to notice when he used the shower because he refused to go home. Charlie had told him not to worry about the vacation time, knowing that Hunter blamed himself for this. As he sat there one afternoon he noticed some magazines that a nurse or someone had left there for him to look at. Until now they'd been untouched. Cocking his head to the side, he noticed the top one was the newest Ethan Allen Home Furnishings catalog. "Hey, McCall, look, someone must think it's time for me to redecorate." He joked with her, as though they were sitting over a bowl of chowder on a lazy Sunday afternoon. He picked up the catalog and flipped through to the first pages. "Okay, they do have some nice stuff in here, I suppose. If you just open your eyes, you can look at it with me - we could pick out some decorations." He found himself talking aloud to her, thoughts running out as if they had their own mind. "You know, when you get better and we get all this 'stuff' worked out, what do you say we move in together?" He smiled to himself. "We could have a huge master bedroom with one of those dark wood, four poster beds. The kind that Ethan Allen himself would be proud of - you know with some of that lacey stuff draped all around it, like in a romance novel. It would be so tall off the ground, we'd get one of those step-stools so you could climb in - or I could just throw you in. We'd buy all the matching dressers, so everything would be coordinated just like you like." He paused, her cue to smile, but his only reaction the steady beeps of the monitors. "Then wait til you see the master bathroom. It has one of those big jacuzzi tubs, the kinds that are big enough for TWO, even when one of them has long legs. We could come home after a hard day at work, and soak in the tub with light music playing in the background, the only light would be big candles around the tub. Can you see it?" He didn't even glance at her this time, caught up in the new story he was weaving. He continued on to describe the wonderful oak staircase that he'd carry her up, the beautiful view of the beach they'd have. They'd take long walks on the beach, holding hands and watching the sun set. Room by room, he conjured up a dream home that would warm the coldest of hearts. He stopped, thinking to himself for a few minutes - and then continuing on the fantastic journey. "Oh, and Dee Dee, I almost forgot the most important part." He smiled to himself again. "We would have the most beautiful nursery for the baby. Yes, you heard me correctly. We could do it in a blue and paint clouds and stars all over the walls, so that he or she would feel all cozy and warm. I know you could pick out the most gorgeous crib and find all the things that a baby needs." He felt tears in his eyes, "Dee Dee, I realized that if you could take the risk to tell me that you love me, that I can risk anything to be with you. I still don't know if I'm cut out to be a dad, and I still have reservations about being a cop and a father at the same time, but if it means that much to you then we could do it. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't imagine the rest of my life without you in it. If you want a whole house full of kids, well, .. how about we take it one at a time? I'm serious though. I've realized that no matter what, we were meant to be together." He was so caught up in the tears edging down his cheeks, a rare occasion for him, that he didn't notice her hand move under his. He jumped when he felt the cool, smooth skin of her touch his cheek and take on the weight of his tear.
"I think you forgot about the dog." She had that 'just woke up' throaty voice that he so loved.
"What dog?" He managed to get out, now unable to stop a flow of emotion at the most beautiful sound in the world - her voice.
"Well, a big house like that wouldn't be complete without a dog for the kids to play with, now would it?" He let out a belly laugh, having been so caught off guard. She just smiled. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Big Guy." His laughter quieted down, a ten thousand pound weight having been lifted from his shoulders by her awakening.
"I thought I'd lost you. I thought we'd blown it, and done exactly what we set out to prevent. I don't know what all you heard, but I meant every word I said. I'm willing to risk anything to be with you, even being a father." Her eyes seem to be sparkling, but her face grew very serious.
"That big house on the beach, the kids, the dog - it all sounds nice, but I can't do it." The shock that came over his face was undisguisable. He thought they'd found a compromise - that they could get over anything. He couldn't even manage to get out a "why?" "You see, I simply can't consider having children with someone I'm not married to."
"Well, Sgt. McCall, we're just going to have to do something about that, now aren't we?" He said in a voice that came out barely above a whisper, but with a chesire cat grin on his face. "Just as soon as we can get you out of that flimsy hospital gown…. then again, on second thought, maybe we should take that with us too."