But right when Kelly, Dylan, Donna, Steve
and David were getting used to life without the Walsh twins someone comes
back that brings old feelings of love and friendship back up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever had one of
those days where you wish you could start all over again? Dylan McKay was
having one of those ever since the beginning of last week. It was like
an ongoing nightmare, he couldn't stop the images, the voices, the memories.
He had no control what so ever over the images that flew through his mind,
it was like it was his body but he couldn't control what happened to it;
it was like something more stronger then him was controlling it. Dylan
laid still in bed trying to wash out the images that were flying through
his head but he had no such luck. He closed his eyes and tried to shut
them out but the minute he closed his eyes his head was flooded with visions…
more like flashbacks of his former love Brenda. He couldn't zone her out
she was just there, he didn't get it, why in the world was he thinking
about her 24/7 when he was steady with Gina? He thought to himself how
he had the worst timing in the world. He opened his eyes and closed them
again but when he closed his eyes he saw nothing but darkness… no Brenda,
no painful images of his past. He was about to go to sleep when the image
of a beautiful burnette with an angelic face flew through his head, he
already knew who it was… Brenda. He couldn't get her out of his head.
"Just like old times"
Gina rolled over next to
him, she kissed his neck and wrapped her arms around him.
"What's just like old times?"
Dylan winced in discomfort
but didn't have the courage to tell her what was on his mind, he could
never really tell any girl what exactly was on his mind not even Kelly,
there was only one girl that he could open up to…truly open up to… there
he went again, he could never stop thinking of her.
"Nothing"
Gina shrugged and held on
tighter to him.
"Okay"
Gina drifted off to sleep.
Dylan who had became very
uncomfortable wiggled his way out of Gina's grip and walked into the bathroom,
he shut and locked the door. He tried to recollect himself, he felt something
for Gina and he knew he wanted to be with her and that is why he could
never tell her what had been going on with him the past week but he also
knew the feelings he felt for Gina were nothing like the feelings he felt
for Brenda, and when he decided he wanted to be with Brenda he was happy
because that's what he wanted, but when he decided to be with Gina he felt
obligated because the way he treated her in the past. Dylan sat down on
the ground and shut his eyes trying to shut out all the noises and voices
of his dysfunctional love life but alas Brenda flew through his mind again
but this time he didn't open up his eyes. It began with Brenda walking
into Dylan's old house and her telling him about how she felt when she
saw Brandon on the television with the president, he was there to comfort
her like all the times she comforted him when he needed it. Dylan smiled
as he saw him and Brenda sitting on the couch together, it reminded him
of old times, before he made the biggest mistake in his life. Then Dylan
looked down and saw luggage and asked Brenda what was up and she told him
that she had to go to prove to herself that she could make something of
herself. Then he felt Brenda touch his face with her warm hands and then
she said "I won't be gone forever Dylan, give me something to come back
to."
Dylan forced his eyes open
and realized that he was crying, he wiped the tears away and winced in
pain as Brenda's voice echoed through his mind. I won't be gone forever…
give me something to come back to… Dylan got up and stared at himself in
the mirror trying to figure out the missing puzzle in his life, some puzzle
piece he had but lost and never found again, would he ever find it? As
he stared at himself in the mirror he asked himself why. Why now? Why all
of a sudden after being away from her for 3 years he can't get her out
of his mind? Why now? Dylan shook his head and rubbed his eyes until they
were red and splashed some cold water on his face and walked back to bed.
Dylan opened up his eyes
to find Gina glaring at him and he couldn't help but wonder what he had
done.
"What did I do wrong?"
Dylan asked as he sat up
in bed, he rubbed his eyes while he yawned and looked back at Gina.
"Why don't you tell me?"
Dylan stared at her and
thought, did she know? Did she know about Brenda? Is that why she's so
mad?
"I have no idea what you're
talking about Gina. What did I do?"
"Well I woke up and you
were asleep so I went into the kitchen to make me a cup of coffee and while
I waited for the water to boil, I went into the attic and tripped over
some box and all these pictures fell out… all kinds of pictures of this
girl. Who is she Dylan?"
Dylan let his mind wander
off, he let his mind think about Brenda and all the good times they shared
and could have shared if it wasn't for all the mistakes he made but quickly
came back to reality where Gina was.
"What girl?"
"I don't know, but on the
back of the pictures they all said me and Brenda at some place and the
year"
"Oh"
The word "oh" had
just popped out of his mouth, he knew he was going to pay for that "oh."
"Oh? What does that mean?"
"Nothing"
"Is she someone I need to
be worried about? Who is she Dylan?"
"She's nobody you need to
be worried about. She's just some girl I knew in High School."
Dylan lied right through
his teeth. He knew Brenda was more than that but he couldn't let Gina know
that.
"Just some girl? Is that
why you have tons of pictures of her lying around or should I say hiding
around?"
"She is no one you need
to be worried about. She was a very close friend of mine, but that's all"
Dylan lied again, but he
didn't want to hurt Gina but he was sure hurting himself when he lied about
Brenda, the feeling he felt was like the feeling he felt when he told Brenda
about him and Kelly. Him and Kelly… Kelly Taylor… the biggest mistake in
his life. Would Brenda still be here if he hadn't been so stupid?
"Really?"
Gina calmed down.
"Yes, really"
"I'm sorry Dylan, it's just
that things are so perfect between us and I don't want anything to ruin
it"
Gina smiled and hugged Dylan,
he smiled at her but he felt like crying but not for Gina, for himself,
he need his true love, his soulmate, his Brenda.
Gina pulled away and looked
at her watch and jumped up.
"Oh look at the time, I
have to go"
Dylan got up and rubbed
his eyes.
"Where are you going?"
"Didn't I tell you? I got
a job interview, isn't that great?"
"Yep, best news I've heard
all day"
Dylan lied again, he was
tired of all the lying.
Gina smiled and kissed him
on the lips and ran out the door. Dylan waved and watched her leave and
when she was out of sight Dylan fell down to the ground moaning in discomfort
and filth. He was sick and tired of lying to Gina, but what was he to do?
He couldn't tell her the truth… she would never understand. Never. He had
to talk to someone about this and there was only one person he could talk
to, but she was the last person he wanted to go to about his problems with
Brenda, but she was the only one. Desperate times comes with desperate
measures, but how desperate was he?
"Desperate"
Dylan mumbled to himself
as he grabbed his car keys and drove off.
Kelly and Donna sat on the
couch next to each other watching "House On Haunted Hill."
Kelly got up and was about to make some more popcorn when there was a knock
on the door. Kelly stared at Donna as Donna closed her eyes and put a pillow
over head.
"Don't get up, I'll get
it"
"Okay"
Kelly stared at Donna and
threw a pillow her way but it didn't affect Donna what so ever. Kelly laughed
and opened the door and to her surprise Dylan was on the other side. She
hadn't seen Dylan in days and the last time they saw each other wasn't
a good one to remember. Dylan and Kelly had been back together for a few
weeks and they were walking on the beach hand in hand with the moon shining
up above, it was the most romantic night ever and they were having a great
time but that was about to come to a halt. Dylan sat down while Kelly snuggled
up next to him, the night was going perfectly, right up until he called
her Brenda. They had a huge argument about it and it ended with him confessing
that he still loved Brenda and while he still loved Brenda he had no room
for her so they went their separate ways. Kelly already knew that Dylan
still loved Brenda, she knew the minute they ever got together back in
High School but she did her best to deny the fact that he had always loved
her and would never stop. That night they had decided to stop seeing each
other, she tried to stop him and make him change his mind but she had no
such luck, she knew that his heart belonged to someone else, perhaps a
burnette in London.
"Dylan? What are you doing
here?"
Dylan bit down on his lip,
he knew that coming to Kelly for advice about him and Brenda was a mistake
but he had no where else to go.
"Can I come in? I need to
talk to you"
Kelly hesitated but let
him in.
"What's wrong Dylan? You
look like shit"
Dylan cracked a smile and
pushed down his hair.
"Well thanks Kel. I have
this problem and I was wondering if you could help me with it"
Kelly stared at Dylan scared.
She resisted asking him about Brenda, because he hadn't mentioned Brenda
in days and she just thought it could be more serious.
"What's wrong Dylan? Is
it drugs?"
"No"
"What then?"
"Dreams"
The minute the word came
out of his mouth he regretted it, the whole topic seemed foolish to ask
Kelly about.
"Dreams? How can I help
you with that?"
"Well didn't you take that
class on dreams? Or the inner mind or something back in college?"
Dylan stared at Kelly but
the whole time he was thinking of Brenda. Brenda... why couldn't he get
her off his mind? He never used to be this lovesick puppy dog that would
do anything for the girl he wanted, but Brenda Walsh had turned him into
that and he didn't know if that was good or bad.
"Psychology?"
"Yea, so can you help me?"
Dylan looked over to see
Donna eat some popcorn, close her eyes, throw a pillow at the tv and go
back to watching the movie. After watching her for a few minutes he saw
that she did that over and over every few seconds, he looked back at Kelly.
"Sure, we can go in my room"
Dylan walked into her room.
The minute Kelly said sure she knew it was a mistake. She hesitated, she
hated the fact that he came to her especially after he had called her Brenda.
She just knew this had something to do with Brenda. She had no doubt in
her head that this was about Brenda. But she knew that if she went to him
with a problem that he would be there for her in a second, she owed him.
She walked into her room to find Dylan sitting on her bed. Dylan sat there
in silence as he stroked the red velvet bedspread that was neatly on her
bed, he stroke the bedspread, it felt so nice and he gazed off into wonderland
and thought about Brenda, he hated the fact that all he had was memories
of her and not the real thing. Wonderland... that wasn't a place Dylan
ever went to but now when he was alone, when he was finally alone, he realized
that wonderland was a place a person in love went to, it was just too late
when he finally realized it.
"So Dylan what's your problem?"
Dylan came back to reality
and noted to himself that Kelly looked so professional, like she had been
doing this for years.
"Dylan?"
"I keep having these dreams
over and over and they won't stop and they won't go away and it's driving
me insane"
"What are the dreams about?"
She desperately wanted to
ask who they were about, but didn't.
"Does that really matter?
Do you really need to know that?"
Dylan tried to squirm his
way out of telling Kelly who the dreams were about.
"Yes Dylan I do need to
know and yes they do matter. In the case of reoccurring dreams they are
mostly based on something that you need to repent on or something you blame
yourself for."
Or someone you love
Kelly thought to herself.
An odd silence filled the
room.
Kelly tried to find an answer
from Dylan, she tried to figure out what was bothering him. Was it the
fact that he was with a woman he didn't love? Or maybe the fact that him
and David weren't talking? What was it? Kelly searched his eyes
for an answer but she couldn't find anything, only Brenda could do that…
look into his eyes and see and feel what he was thinking and feeling. There
was a lot of things only Brenda could do for Dylan… like see straight into
his soul or make him smile or have him tell everything that is on his mind
or make him breakdown or make him whole… he would only do that for her,
she was the only one. He had never broke down and cried and told her what
was on his mind but it just came natural when it came to Brenda.
"Dylan?"
Dylan looked up at Kelly
and nodded.
"What are the dreams about?"
Dylan hesitated.
"Brenda"
"What?"
"The dreams, they're about
Brenda. Everytime I close my eyes these images fly through my head and
I can't shut them out, I can't make them go away, I can't make her go away"
Kelly stood there listening
to Dylan and she knew at that exact minute that he was madly in love with
Brenda and whatever her and Dylan had was a fluke and nothing compared
to what he felt… feels for Brenda.
Dylan moaned and placed his
head in his hands. Kelly was bewildered by his act of emotion. She had
never seen him like this, but of course it was about Brenda, so she understood.
"Dylan, I know what the
dreams are about"
Dylan popped his head up.
"What? What are they about?"
"Well it's easy… you love
her or you love her"
Dylan stared at Kelly and
moaned once again.
"You call that easy? Easy
my ass"
"Dylan the signs are so
clear, you are head in the clouds, head over heels in love with Brenda
Walsh. You have always been in love with her, you can't deny that Dylan…
you don't control love, love controls you."
"But I'm with Gina"
"Gina? She's a distraction.
You don't love her, you once told me that. You told me the only reason
you're with her is because of the way you treated her in the past. You're
not happy, the only time I've seen you happy is when you're with Brenda,
your face lights up, you smile and laugh… that's love, but what you have
with Gina is sympathy, you stay with her because you have no where else
to go, but you do Dylan, you have your heart."
"But you don't get it Brenda
I'm with Gina and I don't want to hurt her but Brenda, oh god Brenda, my
beautiful Brenda… she won't go away."
Kelly stared at Dylan wondering
if he even knew that he had called her Brenda but the way he sat in silence
she knew that he didn't even notice that he called her Brenda once again.
Dylan looked up at Kelly and noticed that Kelly was staring at him the
weirdest way, like he had committed a crime.
"What? What's wrong?"
"You don't even know do
you?"
"Know what?"
"Know that you just called
me Brenda. You didn't even notice"
Dylan lowered his eyes.
"I…I'm sorry. See what I
mean Kel? She just won't go away. She's always there, no matter how hard
I try, she's there"
Kelly totally understood
what Dylan meant the way he feels for Brenda is the way she feels about
Brandon.
What is it with these
Walsh people? She thought to herself.
"Dylan you love her, you
have always loved her and you will always love her."
"No, it's too late. Me and
Bren… we're over."
"As I said before you don't
control love… love controls you. It takes over and you can't think straight,
you can't eat, you can't sleep… hell Dylan you can't do anything. So don't
fool yourself… you love her… it ain't ever over. You pushed her away Dylan,
you were scared, afraid… horrified of the way you feel about her, so you
left… thinking that it was the best thing to do but it wasn't Dylan, it
wasn't good for you…. It wasn't good for her. You pushed her away because
you were afraid of losing her the way you lost Toni and your dad. You think
that everything you touch is shit and you didn't want to hurt her"
"Right"
"But god Dylan… how blind
can you be? By pushing her away you accomplished the one thing you didn't
want to do, Dylan you hurt her… you hurt her bad"
Dylan sat there in silence
realizing that everything that Kelly had said had been true, he never wanted
to hurt her but it was the first thing he did and he hated himself for
it.
"You're right, but what
can I do? She's in London and she never wants to see me again. The last
time I saw her, she was crying and she told me that she hated me and never
wanted to see me again. God Kel, the way she looked wasn't what hurt me,
it was the words… those words hurt me more than anything, those words hurt
me more than the alcohol and the drugs. It's not easy, love is supposed
to make you happy but I'm not happy, not with Gina. But when I'm with Brenda
it's so different. Different good."
Kelly and Dylan stared at
each other in silence. Kelly stared at Dylan and for once in her life she
saw all the emotions by just glancing at him, she saw the anger, the frustration,
the pain, the love, the madness of it all and for once she understood.
She understood how love felt and how it could destroy one man and make
his whole life like hell and they both knew that the only person that could
make things right was miles and miles away and had no intention on returning.
Dylan sat there trying to recollect himself and keep from screaming after
a few minutes he got and walked towards the door. Kelly came running behind
him.
"Dylan?"
"Yea?"
Dylan turned around and
saw the face that Kelly was giving him, he knew there was a lecture coming
on.
"She loves you, you love
her…. How can something so simple be so hard? It's a simple question Dylan…
you should think about it"
Dylan stood there in silence
and in awe and walked out the door without saying a word. Donna peeped
her head up and caught Dylan leaving.
"What was that about?"
Donna twirled her hair with
her finger waiting for Kelly's answer.
"Who else? Brenda Walsh"
Donna nodded and walked into
the back room. Donna closed the door and pulled out a box that was in the
closet and pulled out a picture of her and Brenda and stroked the
picture and one single silent tear hit the picture as Donna thought about
old times. Donna wiped the tears away from her eyes and took out her phone
book and dialed a number.
"Hello?"
Donna jumped when she heard
the voice but when she tried to say something nothing came out.
"Hello?"
The voice repeated.
"Bren? Hey it's me, Donna"
Dylan laid on the couch in
silence as he watched Jerry Springer but not even the most dysfunctional
family ties made his life seem any more simple or normal. Dylan looked
up when he heard a slight knocking on the door but he didn't get up and
a few seconds later David walked in and walked into the kitchen without
saying a word to Dylan. David sat down at the kitchen table and dug into
his bowl of cereal, David looked down and saw a picture of Brenda and Dylan
from their prom. Dylan looked over at David and back at the tv, meanwhile
David was still staring at the picture.
"You're an idiot Dylan"
Dylan looked up at David.
"Excuse me?"
"You know I love you D but
you are a complete idiot"
"Well thank you David, I
love being called an idiot"
Dylan looked back at the
tv trying to avoid whatever conversation David was trying to strike up.
"You had the best, you and
Brenda were the best couple and you gave her up, you just let her go, haven't
you ever heard of fighting for what you want?"
Dylan rubbed his forehead
hoping that David would just go away.
"Look we haven't talked
like since forever and this is the topic you want to chat about? I don't
think so. Look I am already in a bad mood so if you can leave me the hell
alone and stop butting in, that would be great"
David got up from the kitchen
table and sat down next to Dylan giving him the picture. Dylan picked up
the picture and stared at it and knew that David was only trying to help.
"You and Bren, you guys
were like soulmates, destined to be together and then one day you're not.
You just wake up one morning and you're with Kelly? I don't get it. You
and Brenda had fate or whatever it was, knowing what you and Brenda had
you can honestly give it up and don't care? How can you do that?"
"Who said I ever fell out
of love with her? Who said that I don't care?"
"You did, sure the words
weren't there but the actions were man, by giving her up you showed us
that you didn't care"
"I do care. Don't you think
I know that I made a mistake? For the past week I have being trying to
shut out these images of her that fly through my head everytime I close
my eyes. For the past week I have been denying the fact that I don't love
Gina. For the past week I have been hurting and hating myself for letting
her go, she was the best thing in my life but I let her go and I'm never
gonna have the chance to get her back, to make amends for hurting her.
Shit Dave, things are so complicated."
"Yea especially on Dylan's
Creek!"
Gina burst in screaming
at Dylan. David knowing that there was going to be a huge confrontation
tip-toed past Dylan and Gina and sneaked out the house.
"Gina, how long have you
been there?"
"Long enough… you told me
she was no one to be worried about, you told me that earlier this morning
and now I come back to hear you saying that she is your soulmate and you
don't love me! What happened?"
"Gina, I couldn't tell you.
You wouldn't understand"
"How dare you Dylan! How
dare you underestimate me. First you tell David that you don't love me
and now you're saying that I wouldn't understand! You bastard. Who is she?
Do you still love her?"
"Gina…"
"No answer my question now"
"You want the real truth?
Is that what you want?"
"Yes it is"
Dylan sighed.
"Her name is Brenda Walsh
and yes I still love her. She is my true love, my soulmate. When I'm not
with her all my days are fucked up but when I'm with her all my days are
perfect. When I'm with her it's like all the fireworks go off and I'm not
in a bad mood anymore. She is my key that unlocks all the locked and mysterious
doors in my life, she is my light and without her I would be lost. She
is the only one that I have ever opened up to and Gina I love her, more
then I could ever love you. But don't worry I am never going to see her
again because I messed up, I gave up the only person I've ever loved and
I don't think that I could ever love anyone the way I love her"
Gina and Dylan stood there
staring at each in silence. Nothing could be heard except the heavy breathing
between Dylan and Gina and the rain pattering against the windows outside.
A knock on the door broke the odd silence.
"I'll get it"
"No Dylan, I'll get it you
royal asshole"
Gina ran for the door and
opened it up and stood there.
"Speaking of the little
princess"
Dylan looked over at Gina
curious.
"What? Who is it?"
When Gina didn't answer
Dylan walked over next to her and pushed her out of his way to see who
it was. Dylan pushed Gina aside and who he saw on the other side of the
door made his jaw drop in awe. The girl he never expected to see again,
the girl that he was madly in love with, the woman he would want to marry
if he had the chance… was standing on the other side of his door… She was
back. Brenda was back.
Could she be his missing
puzzle piece? And if so, can he get her back?
[To Be Continued... Read
Reunion to find out what happens]
