Broken Hearts (part 10)
"The baby is Mark's," the doctor said. Chandler crumpled onto a chair. Monica looked shocked and not at all happy, sort of disappointed. Mark smiled. He took Daniel from Monica and sat down. "I'll leave you three to sort this out," the doctor sighed. "Please, no violence," he added wearilt, obviously used to this kind of situation.
"Mon, please, I don't care. I love you. I love Daniel. I don't care that he's not my son. i'll love him as if he was, I swear to God," chandler said. "Monica, I can't lose him. Or you."
"He's my kid!" Mark butted in.
"You don't love either of them!" Chandler shouted.
"How the fuck would you know? Monica's been so unhappy lately because of you! You hurt her Chandler!" Mark shouted back.
"How dare you tell this bastard what goes on between us?" chandler demanded, turning on Monica.
"Chandler, I needed to talk to someone. I just wanted someone who would understand how I feel," she tried to explain.
"And he wouldn't understand shit!" Chandler shouted, gesturing wildly with his fist towards Mark, although he had no intention of actually hitting him.
"He understands more than you do!" monica snapped. Chandler recoiled. how dare she get angry? What was she losing? He was the only one who was losing anything, and he was losing everything.
"Chandler, these last months, I haven't been able to talk to you. Our friends won't talk to me. They blame me and Mark for this. no one stops to think that maybe i'm hurting too," monica said. "Mark was a relief. He doesn't hate me. He listens to me. he;s good with Daniel. You hardly ever touch him!"
"Monica, I havent' known whether he was mine. My girlfriend was cheating on me. The she cheated on me again, while she was pregnant, with no thought to either me or the baby. And now, after the baby's born, she keeps cheating on me. Its like you two are magnetically attracted to each other or something! And you expect me to talk to you!" Chandler shouted.
"I expect you to help look after the baby!"
"He isn't even mine!" Chandler wailed, the realisation stabbing him deeper every time he said it.
"You thought he was! I thought he was! It was an accident Chandler!" she insisted, trying to stay calm.
"An accident that should never have happened. Would never have happened if you hadn't slept around."
"chandler, I know this is hard for you, but there's no need to take it out on Monica," Mark said.
"Shut the fuck up! You don't know anything! This is all your fault. You couldn't be content with just taking my girlfriend, you had to take my baby as well," Chandler said miserably.
"He;s my baby," Mark insisted.
"She's my girlfriend! I love her! I love her despite all this. i'm still going to marry her. I'll still get to see Daniel," Chandler said. He noticed how Monica squirmed a little in her seat, but didnt' attatch any real meaning to it.
"Not if I have anything to do with it," Mark muttered.
"What?" Chandler demanded.
"I love her too. i love MY son," Mark said.
"You don't love her. You just want to get her into bed!" Chandler accused.
"Bullshit!" Mark retorted. "I admit at first my relationship with Monica was just about sex, but I don't know. Over time I guess I started to fall in love with her. And I want to be able to see my son everyday."
"Monica would never let you have custody," Chandler said meanly.
"Who says she has to? I want to see Monica every day too," Mark said mildly.
"No fucking way!" Chandler shouted. "I'm not letting you anywhere near them!"
"Chandler, Daniel should see his father," Monica pointed out.
"I can be his father Mon. I can be the guy he thinks of as his Dad. We dont' need Mark," he said ernestly.
"Chandler, I dont' know how much of a relationship we have left. I don't want to stay with you, and have Daniel get to know you, then find out we can't make it work. I dont' want Daniel to have to go through that," Monica said carefully.
"Monica, what are you saying?" Chandler asked, feeling panic well up inside him.
"I think, I think it would be best for everyone if I stayed with Mark," she said hesitantly.
"You two have been talking about this, haven't you? You knew there was more than a minute chance that Daniel was Mark's baby. I knew he wasn't here for the fun of it," Chandler said, realising that his whole world was crashing down around his ears, and if he didn't get out, he would be crushed.
"Not really, just a kind of 'what if' scenario," Mark said.
"When? come on Monica, I'm not stupid. I know you wouldn't have just called him up out of the blue and started talking about this stuff. So when? Has he been seeing Daniel?" Chandler asked, the anger slowly draining out of him, leaving him just worn out.
"Yes," she whispered.
"And then what? Did you screw him? Did you just sit there and chat for hours, what Monica?" Chandler demanded. He was still speaking only to Monica, feeling that maybe if he didn't acknowlede Mark, he would cease to exist. Moncia glanced at Mark, but only for a second. Then she looked back at Chandler.
"I don't want to hurt you honey," she said softly.
"mon, if you didn't want to hurt me, you should have been faithful. The best was to limit that hurt right now, is to cut the crap and tell me the truth," Chandler said, sounding pained.
"Yes, we slept together. We talked about this when we were lying in bed after sex. Is that what you want to hear?" Mark remarked. moncia groaned. She hadn't really wanted to lie to Chandler, but there were better ways to break it to him that Mark's way.
"I don't care Monica. I really don't. These last few months have been hell for me, and you know why? Because I loved you too much. I had you up on some pedestal, my angel. Then you let me down, and I wanted to hate you, I really did. But I couldn't. Now I know you're human, you make mistakes, like anyone else. And you know what, that just makes me love you even more. Please don't do this to me," Chandler said desperately. Even he could hear how pathetic he sounded. Monica looked at him pityingly.
"I'm sorry Chandler," she said, starting to cry. Mark put his arm around her.
"Don't you touch her!" Chandler snapped at him. Mark withdrew his arm from round Monica's shoulders.
"Chandler, I'm so, so sorry," she whispered.
"Shut up!" Chandler said, suddenly harsh. "You've made your decision, okay! Just leave me alone. I want you and Daniel to move out by the weekend," Chandler said. It was Wednesday already. Monica's mouth dropped, but she didn't argue.
"Its okay Mon, you can stay with me," Mark offered, eager to play the knight in shining armour. Monica nodded and smiled gratefully. Chander groaned, but he knew he couldn't tell her what to do or where to live.
"Whatever, just get out. Anything of yours still in the apartment on Saturday morning, I;m gonna take to the charity shop," Chandler said. It wasn't a threat. He simply didn't want to be reminded of the one relationship he had thought would be forever. Monica nodded. Mark considered putting his arm around her, but decided against it. Chandler too longed to comfort her, despite what she had done. He wanted to pull her against his chest, envelope her in his arms and kiss her tears away. It was all he could do to keep reminded himself of what she had done.
Chandler went home alone. Monica took Daniel to Mark's apartment, and although Chandler hated the idea, he knew he had no right to say what Daniel did either. That the baby he had loved, wasn't his at all. He didn't want to tell the others. he couldn't see how it was his responsibility. Monica had cheated. It was all her fauly, she could explain to everyone else why Monica and Daniel would be leaving the apartment, and his life.
However, when he got home, Chandler was greeted by all the gang. He simply shook his head dejectedly. Their faces fell. He heard them all over condolances, tell him how sorry they were, even a few murmers about what a bitch Monica was, but he didn't really hear them.
"If you guys don't mind, I just want to be left alone, okay?" Chandler said. They all nodded and quietly got up to leave. Ross patted his shoulder comfortingly, Joey pulled him into a man-hug, Rachel stroked his arm, Phoebe hugged him.
When they were all gone, Chandler went into the bedroom he and Moncia used to share. He lay face down on the bed, and hugged the pillow. It still smelled faintly of Monica. He thought he was going to cry, but he didnt'. He didn't want to cry, because normally whenever he crued, Monica was there to comfort him. He didn't want to cry, even now, if she wasn't there to put her arms around him and wipe away his tears. He still couldn't really believe that everything he had loved for the last three years was gone. Monica, the woman he thought would never let him down, had cheated on him and destroyed his life. And she had kept the baby, and foudn someone else to love. She was happy, when she had done so much to deserve misery, although Chandler would never wish it on her, he still loved her. Probably always would love her, no matter what. Yet he, who had done nothing except fall in love, was doomed to a life of misery. he knew he would never love anyone even half as much as he had loved Monica.
At Mark's apartment, Monica was rocking Daniel, who was crying. If he had been a little older, she would have thought he was missing his Daddy. no, she reminded herself, because his Daddy was Mark, and Mark was here. Maybe Daniel didnt' miss Chandler, but Monica sure did. She knew it was all her own fault. But she didn't know what to do. She regretted saying she wanted to stay with Mark, she knew she and Chandler might have been able to work things out if they hadn't given up, if she hadn't given up.
Chandler moped around the apartment for the next few days. Moncia came back several times for her stuff. On the Friday afternoon, she brought Daniel with her. Chandler was surprised to see the baby, and he wondered briefly if it was some cruel trick she was playing on him.
"I just thought you might want to see him. It won't happen often, Mark hates the idea," Monica said when she saw the suspicious look Chandler gave her.
"Does Mark know you're here now?" Chandler asked quietly. He wouldn't look at Monica, afraid that her blue eyes would work their usual magic on him.
"no," she admitted. "He's visiting his parents. Telling them about all this, I supposed."
"So you sneaked out so I could see how happy you are now?" Chandler asked calmly, in some way, wanting her to hurt as much as he had been hurt.
"I'm not happy Chandler. not at all. I know I brought this all on myself, so I won't try and persuade you to forgive me. I know I don't deserve you," Monica said, quietly.
"Mon, don't torture me by waving everything I could have had in my face, okay. Please, just leave," he pleaded. She nodded sadly.
"If that;s what you want."
"It is. Thank you. But first, there's something you might want. I dont' want it, you might as well have it, I don't care what you do with it. Keep it if you want, throw it out if you don't, whatever," Chandler said. He went into the bedroom and returned a few seconds later with a big cardboard box. Inside were some phot albums and a lot of loose photographs. Monica sighed. Chandler obviously didnt' want any memories of her, or their relationship. Silently, she took the box. Chandler looked longingly at Monica and Daniel as they walked out of the door and out of his life.
He went into the bedroom and reached under the pillow, where he had hidden, from himself as mucha s anyone else, the few photographs he had decided to keep. A picture of him and Monica in London, looking awkward, since it was the day after their first night togeter. Monica holding Daniel they day he was born, smiling proudly. One of them as friends, before they even knew Joey and Phoebe and before Chandler knew Rachel, he didn't even rememeber when or where this picture had been taken. The two of them smiling, with their arms around each other when they had gone away from a weekend not long after they got engaged. And finally, a picture of Monica naked, that she had given him when they were still dating in secret.
Chandler looked closely at each picture in turn, Monica's eyes, her hair, her face, most of all her smile, staring up at him, making him realise why he loved her so much. chandler missed the Monica in all the picture except the one with Daniel. The Monica he had known and loved for so long. but he would never think of her like that again. Now she was just the woman who had hurt him more than anyone else ever had before in his whole life.
Chandler lay on the bed, the photos still clutched in his hand. He cried for the Monica he had loved. For the baby that should have been his. For everything he had lost.
:)THE END :)
Well, since you've now read all 10 parts, you must have an opinion, so please share it. :)
"The baby is Mark's," the doctor said. Chandler crumpled onto a chair. Monica looked shocked and not at all happy, sort of disappointed. Mark smiled. He took Daniel from Monica and sat down. "I'll leave you three to sort this out," the doctor sighed. "Please, no violence," he added wearilt, obviously used to this kind of situation.
"Mon, please, I don't care. I love you. I love Daniel. I don't care that he's not my son. i'll love him as if he was, I swear to God," chandler said. "Monica, I can't lose him. Or you."
"He's my kid!" Mark butted in.
"You don't love either of them!" Chandler shouted.
"How the fuck would you know? Monica's been so unhappy lately because of you! You hurt her Chandler!" Mark shouted back.
"How dare you tell this bastard what goes on between us?" chandler demanded, turning on Monica.
"Chandler, I needed to talk to someone. I just wanted someone who would understand how I feel," she tried to explain.
"And he wouldn't understand shit!" Chandler shouted, gesturing wildly with his fist towards Mark, although he had no intention of actually hitting him.
"He understands more than you do!" monica snapped. Chandler recoiled. how dare she get angry? What was she losing? He was the only one who was losing anything, and he was losing everything.
"Chandler, these last months, I haven't been able to talk to you. Our friends won't talk to me. They blame me and Mark for this. no one stops to think that maybe i'm hurting too," monica said. "Mark was a relief. He doesn't hate me. He listens to me. he;s good with Daniel. You hardly ever touch him!"
"Monica, I havent' known whether he was mine. My girlfriend was cheating on me. The she cheated on me again, while she was pregnant, with no thought to either me or the baby. And now, after the baby's born, she keeps cheating on me. Its like you two are magnetically attracted to each other or something! And you expect me to talk to you!" Chandler shouted.
"I expect you to help look after the baby!"
"He isn't even mine!" Chandler wailed, the realisation stabbing him deeper every time he said it.
"You thought he was! I thought he was! It was an accident Chandler!" she insisted, trying to stay calm.
"An accident that should never have happened. Would never have happened if you hadn't slept around."
"chandler, I know this is hard for you, but there's no need to take it out on Monica," Mark said.
"Shut the fuck up! You don't know anything! This is all your fault. You couldn't be content with just taking my girlfriend, you had to take my baby as well," Chandler said miserably.
"He;s my baby," Mark insisted.
"She's my girlfriend! I love her! I love her despite all this. i'm still going to marry her. I'll still get to see Daniel," Chandler said. He noticed how Monica squirmed a little in her seat, but didnt' attatch any real meaning to it.
"Not if I have anything to do with it," Mark muttered.
"What?" Chandler demanded.
"I love her too. i love MY son," Mark said.
"You don't love her. You just want to get her into bed!" Chandler accused.
"Bullshit!" Mark retorted. "I admit at first my relationship with Monica was just about sex, but I don't know. Over time I guess I started to fall in love with her. And I want to be able to see my son everyday."
"Monica would never let you have custody," Chandler said meanly.
"Who says she has to? I want to see Monica every day too," Mark said mildly.
"No fucking way!" Chandler shouted. "I'm not letting you anywhere near them!"
"Chandler, Daniel should see his father," Monica pointed out.
"I can be his father Mon. I can be the guy he thinks of as his Dad. We dont' need Mark," he said ernestly.
"Chandler, I dont' know how much of a relationship we have left. I don't want to stay with you, and have Daniel get to know you, then find out we can't make it work. I dont' want Daniel to have to go through that," Monica said carefully.
"Monica, what are you saying?" Chandler asked, feeling panic well up inside him.
"I think, I think it would be best for everyone if I stayed with Mark," she said hesitantly.
"You two have been talking about this, haven't you? You knew there was more than a minute chance that Daniel was Mark's baby. I knew he wasn't here for the fun of it," Chandler said, realising that his whole world was crashing down around his ears, and if he didn't get out, he would be crushed.
"Not really, just a kind of 'what if' scenario," Mark said.
"When? come on Monica, I'm not stupid. I know you wouldn't have just called him up out of the blue and started talking about this stuff. So when? Has he been seeing Daniel?" Chandler asked, the anger slowly draining out of him, leaving him just worn out.
"Yes," she whispered.
"And then what? Did you screw him? Did you just sit there and chat for hours, what Monica?" Chandler demanded. He was still speaking only to Monica, feeling that maybe if he didn't acknowlede Mark, he would cease to exist. Moncia glanced at Mark, but only for a second. Then she looked back at Chandler.
"I don't want to hurt you honey," she said softly.
"mon, if you didn't want to hurt me, you should have been faithful. The best was to limit that hurt right now, is to cut the crap and tell me the truth," Chandler said, sounding pained.
"Yes, we slept together. We talked about this when we were lying in bed after sex. Is that what you want to hear?" Mark remarked. moncia groaned. She hadn't really wanted to lie to Chandler, but there were better ways to break it to him that Mark's way.
"I don't care Monica. I really don't. These last few months have been hell for me, and you know why? Because I loved you too much. I had you up on some pedestal, my angel. Then you let me down, and I wanted to hate you, I really did. But I couldn't. Now I know you're human, you make mistakes, like anyone else. And you know what, that just makes me love you even more. Please don't do this to me," Chandler said desperately. Even he could hear how pathetic he sounded. Monica looked at him pityingly.
"I'm sorry Chandler," she said, starting to cry. Mark put his arm around her.
"Don't you touch her!" Chandler snapped at him. Mark withdrew his arm from round Monica's shoulders.
"Chandler, I'm so, so sorry," she whispered.
"Shut up!" Chandler said, suddenly harsh. "You've made your decision, okay! Just leave me alone. I want you and Daniel to move out by the weekend," Chandler said. It was Wednesday already. Monica's mouth dropped, but she didn't argue.
"Its okay Mon, you can stay with me," Mark offered, eager to play the knight in shining armour. Monica nodded and smiled gratefully. Chander groaned, but he knew he couldn't tell her what to do or where to live.
"Whatever, just get out. Anything of yours still in the apartment on Saturday morning, I;m gonna take to the charity shop," Chandler said. It wasn't a threat. He simply didn't want to be reminded of the one relationship he had thought would be forever. Monica nodded. Mark considered putting his arm around her, but decided against it. Chandler too longed to comfort her, despite what she had done. He wanted to pull her against his chest, envelope her in his arms and kiss her tears away. It was all he could do to keep reminded himself of what she had done.
Chandler went home alone. Monica took Daniel to Mark's apartment, and although Chandler hated the idea, he knew he had no right to say what Daniel did either. That the baby he had loved, wasn't his at all. He didn't want to tell the others. he couldn't see how it was his responsibility. Monica had cheated. It was all her fauly, she could explain to everyone else why Monica and Daniel would be leaving the apartment, and his life.
However, when he got home, Chandler was greeted by all the gang. He simply shook his head dejectedly. Their faces fell. He heard them all over condolances, tell him how sorry they were, even a few murmers about what a bitch Monica was, but he didn't really hear them.
"If you guys don't mind, I just want to be left alone, okay?" Chandler said. They all nodded and quietly got up to leave. Ross patted his shoulder comfortingly, Joey pulled him into a man-hug, Rachel stroked his arm, Phoebe hugged him.
When they were all gone, Chandler went into the bedroom he and Moncia used to share. He lay face down on the bed, and hugged the pillow. It still smelled faintly of Monica. He thought he was going to cry, but he didnt'. He didn't want to cry, because normally whenever he crued, Monica was there to comfort him. He didn't want to cry, even now, if she wasn't there to put her arms around him and wipe away his tears. He still couldn't really believe that everything he had loved for the last three years was gone. Monica, the woman he thought would never let him down, had cheated on him and destroyed his life. And she had kept the baby, and foudn someone else to love. She was happy, when she had done so much to deserve misery, although Chandler would never wish it on her, he still loved her. Probably always would love her, no matter what. Yet he, who had done nothing except fall in love, was doomed to a life of misery. he knew he would never love anyone even half as much as he had loved Monica.
At Mark's apartment, Monica was rocking Daniel, who was crying. If he had been a little older, she would have thought he was missing his Daddy. no, she reminded herself, because his Daddy was Mark, and Mark was here. Maybe Daniel didnt' miss Chandler, but Monica sure did. She knew it was all her own fault. But she didn't know what to do. She regretted saying she wanted to stay with Mark, she knew she and Chandler might have been able to work things out if they hadn't given up, if she hadn't given up.
Chandler moped around the apartment for the next few days. Moncia came back several times for her stuff. On the Friday afternoon, she brought Daniel with her. Chandler was surprised to see the baby, and he wondered briefly if it was some cruel trick she was playing on him.
"I just thought you might want to see him. It won't happen often, Mark hates the idea," Monica said when she saw the suspicious look Chandler gave her.
"Does Mark know you're here now?" Chandler asked quietly. He wouldn't look at Monica, afraid that her blue eyes would work their usual magic on him.
"no," she admitted. "He's visiting his parents. Telling them about all this, I supposed."
"So you sneaked out so I could see how happy you are now?" Chandler asked calmly, in some way, wanting her to hurt as much as he had been hurt.
"I'm not happy Chandler. not at all. I know I brought this all on myself, so I won't try and persuade you to forgive me. I know I don't deserve you," Monica said, quietly.
"Mon, don't torture me by waving everything I could have had in my face, okay. Please, just leave," he pleaded. She nodded sadly.
"If that;s what you want."
"It is. Thank you. But first, there's something you might want. I dont' want it, you might as well have it, I don't care what you do with it. Keep it if you want, throw it out if you don't, whatever," Chandler said. He went into the bedroom and returned a few seconds later with a big cardboard box. Inside were some phot albums and a lot of loose photographs. Monica sighed. Chandler obviously didnt' want any memories of her, or their relationship. Silently, she took the box. Chandler looked longingly at Monica and Daniel as they walked out of the door and out of his life.
He went into the bedroom and reached under the pillow, where he had hidden, from himself as mucha s anyone else, the few photographs he had decided to keep. A picture of him and Monica in London, looking awkward, since it was the day after their first night togeter. Monica holding Daniel they day he was born, smiling proudly. One of them as friends, before they even knew Joey and Phoebe and before Chandler knew Rachel, he didn't even rememeber when or where this picture had been taken. The two of them smiling, with their arms around each other when they had gone away from a weekend not long after they got engaged. And finally, a picture of Monica naked, that she had given him when they were still dating in secret.
Chandler looked closely at each picture in turn, Monica's eyes, her hair, her face, most of all her smile, staring up at him, making him realise why he loved her so much. chandler missed the Monica in all the picture except the one with Daniel. The Monica he had known and loved for so long. but he would never think of her like that again. Now she was just the woman who had hurt him more than anyone else ever had before in his whole life.
Chandler lay on the bed, the photos still clutched in his hand. He cried for the Monica he had loved. For the baby that should have been his. For everything he had lost.
:)THE END :)
Well, since you've now read all 10 parts, you must have an opinion, so please share it. :)