Disclaimer: I don't own Scott or Shelby, or Elaine, or Martin. I don't own Higher Ground. HOWEVER the Fox Family Channel DOES own them!!!!!!!
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This is written in a different form. It's kind of like a biography. You can interpret it any way you want. It could be like...a journal entry or something he's writing for a newspaper or a magazine or whatever. I used my imagination to write it, so use your imagination for what he's writing it for. I was going to write one for Juliet and Auggie next..but I like know NOTHING about them except the basics and when I tried to write Juliet's I was strugglin so.......I dunno. I probably won't write one for anybody else b/c I don't understand them......Oh well....here it is....I've had like 10 people email me wanting it and so......Scott must be everybody's fave. PLEASE review...!!!!!! If Scott is your fave you WILL review...right???
The Way Home
Scott
Someone once told me that to be a good writer you have to write what you know. This is what I know.
My whole life I have been running. Running from my life, running from my thoughts, running from my family and friends. Running from myself.
The road to self discovery was a long one for me. Long and rocky and covered with potholes, and sometimes it felt as though I was weathering it alone.
As a small child I had the ideal family. I had a mother and a father, I had happiness. But somewhere down the line something went terribly wrong. My parents divorced and my whole world came crashing down. The only explanation they offered was that they had simply fallen out of love with each other. I didn't understand it then, and looking at my wife now, I still don't understand how you can fall out of love with someone because every time I look in Shelby's eyes I fall in love all over again.
The divorce brought so many changes in to my life. I n longer had one home and one family, but two of each, and my parents traded me off every weekend. That was one of the things I hated the most. Being passed around like that. I didn't care about custody or visitation rights, all I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before. When things were okay. When I was okay. I knew they wouldn't deep down inside, but there was always that little hope in the pit of my stomach.
Time went on and I grew into a young man. My father had full custody of me, and it seemed as though my mother had dropped off the face of the earth. She didn't answer my letters, and she didn't return my phone calls. Looking back now I understand that she was scared and didn't know exactly how to handle me. But at the same time, when I watch my two baby girls sleep, I just don't understand how she could abandon her own child like that. I couldn't.
I tried to forget about my mother. I had my dad and he was doing the best job with me he knew how to do..
When I started high school at age 14 I tried out for the freshman football team and I actually made it. Instant popularity. I felt accepted and loved and that was so precious to me at that age. That age where you have no idea who you are and where you belong, so you go on a seemingly endless quest to find yourself, and I've learned that some people never finish searching.
My life was beginning to shape itself back together again, very slowly. Eventually I stopped writing my mother. I stopped calling. I knew I was only prolonging the pain. She wanted nothing to do with me, and I was beginning to realize that.
My father took my lead and started dating again. This didn't hurt me so much, because unlike other kids, I knew my mom wasn't coming back. She was gone and I was beginning to accept it. Dad went out with so many women it was ridiculous. It was Sharon one night and Allison the next. Never the same girl until one night when he brought the same girl home for the third time. Her name was Elaine, and she was a 25 year old law student at the local university undergraduate school.
She was young enough to be my sister, and I think all three of us knew it. I didn't say anything though. I has pleased because I had never seen my dad smile so much in years until he found her.
I was 15 years old when my father announced their engagement, and just starting my sophomore year in high school. I was happy for my dad, but there was just something about the way she looked at me that creeped me out. I brushed it off thinking that I still wasn't quite over the fact that my dad was going to be married to someone that wasn't my mom. Especially a someone that was only 10 years older than me.
The nightmare started as soon as they got back from their honeymoon. Elaine would constantly "accidentally" touch me when she walked by, and they way she looked at me was not at all motherly. I stopped swimming in our backyard pool when she was home because she would watch me the whole time, and sometimes when my father wasn't home, she would put on the skimpiest bathing suits and parade around the house in them.
She did look good in them. She had laughing dark eyes, flirty dark hair, and a killer body, but there was nothing but a physical attraction between us in the beginning. Soon I began to like the attention she was giving me and I developed a crush on her. She fed on that crush. She would flirt with me, and me....a 15 year old bad of hormones, flirted back. I didn't know how lethal it could be.
Soon she started treating me differently. The first time she ever kissed me...I mean really kissed me was when I had just failed a midterm. I was so upset about it. She sat me down on the couch and told me that it would all work out okay in the end. Then...she kissed me. And I liked it. I really did and it made me feel so guilty. I didn't want to like it. I really didn't.
That night she came into my room. That was the first time it ever happened, and I liked that too.
It went on for several months, and I saw nothing wrong with it, except for the fact that it would eventually hurt everybody involved. I thought I was falling in love with her, so I decided to break it off before everyone got too attached.
That night when she came to my room I told her no. She wouldn't hear of it, and she wouldn't stop. I explained to her it was wrong and I didn't want to anymore, but she threatened to take away football if I couldn't deliver. I was so torn. I didn't want Elaine anymore, but I was so afraid if I pushed her away that she would take away everything I had worked for. I didn't want to hurt my dad, so I gave in. I let her continue.
Later that year I slipped into a depression. I started using drugs to ease the pain and to help me forget, but soon the effect on me wasn't the same, so I started using stronger drugs. By the end of the term, my grades had dropped so low, I was no longer eligible to play football. The coach regrettably had to let his star player go. The only thing I had to hold onto was now gone. My dad was so disappointed in me, and I guess that's what hurt the most.
From that point on I spent most of my time in large groups simply because of the fact that I was afraid to be alone with myself. Afraid of what I would do. I stayed out partying till all hours of the night with no explanation whatsoever to give my father except that I was out doing 'stuff ' . He was worried about me, I knew, but I didn't care. Everything that I ever had to hold onto was gone. My mother, my football, my dad believing in me, my innocence.
I went on like that for weeks, and one morning I was tacked upon entering my home, cuffed, and taken to a school called Horizon. I was scared there at first, but not as scared as I would have been at home getting high and then waiting for Elaine to come to my room each night.
I had many relationships while I was at Horizon, and I don't regret any of them. Horizon wouldn't be the same without them. I wouldn't be the same without them. But the one I'll never forget, the one I am still living, was with Shelby. She had long, soft, blonde hair and these deep blue eyes you could lose yourself in in an instant. She had a unique personality and she certainly wasn't the type I had dated before. I initially thought my type was the constantly happy, bubbly cheerleader, but Shelby proved me so wrong. You know that person who'll always tell you what you want to hear? Shelby is as FAR from that as you can get. She was sarcastic, rude, crass, and not at all afraid to tell you what was on her mind. I would always wonder why I loved her, and now as I watch her sitting in that chair, twirling her hair and reading I know. She wasn't perfect when I met her, and she isn't perfect now, not by a long shot....but she completes me. And that's why I love her. I could tell her anything ad she would still love me, that I know. Whatever it was.....it was true....Shelby was one of a kind. She broke the mold and they scattered the pieces for everyone to trip and hurt themselves on. As funny as that may sound, that's who she was. Who she is. And I love her.
Shelby was the first person I ever told about my stepmother. Eventually, when they came to visit, I couldn't handle it anymore. The truth happened that day. I told my father everything that had went on. He didn't believe me. I didn't expect him to. That didn't matter anymore. What mattered was that when I told him, when I exposed myself..and Elaine....it felt as though the weight of the whole world had been lifted from my shoulders, and for the first time in so long I felt like I could breathe.
I finished my years at Horizon. Shelby was always by my side, and now as we raise our two 1 year old twin daughters, we are still together.
I haven't heard from many of my friends since we graduated from Horizon three years ago. I hear through the grapevine that Daisy's in med school, Ezra is a screen play writer, Juliet a fashion designer, Auggie a painter for a local museum, Kat a teacher, and David is in law school. I expect Peter and Sophie are still at Horizon helping even more kids just like I was.
Someday I would like to go back to Horizon. Just to remember all the good times I had there. I think it would be good for me. Horizon helped me find myself. If I could give one line of advice to everyone right now it would be: Find out who you are....and TRY not to be afraid of it. Horizon taught me that. Shelby taught me that. I found the way home.
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Okay...guys...I know..it was sooo weird. Can I ask a question? Am I the only one who has trouble uploading fics at night?? I usually finish at like 9 and when I try to upload it it says it has to be in html whatever junk even though it is, so I get on the next day, do nothing differently and it uploads.....WHATEVER!!! I'm so confused and FRUSTRATED!! Is anyone having the same trouble uploading at night????? PLEASE REVIEW!!!