Battle
Harry looked around wildy and saw Death Eaters on every side-- no way of escape. They would have to fight. And the odds were bad. "Stupefy!" roared twelve voices-- the Death Eaters'.
Harry hit the dirt and heard the others do the same. Red flashes of light filled the clearing. Harry raised his wand and Stunned a Death Eater. He brought his head up to see what was going on. Sophie was doggedly defending herself with a Shield Charm against two Death Eaters. As Harry watched, she stunned one and clouted the other on the head with a handy tree branch. He went down like a stone.
Hermione ducked behind a Death Eater and stunned him. Three Death Eaters started for Harry, but never got any farther. Two red-haired and one black-haired figures popped out of nowhere, throwing off an Invisibility Cloak and stunning one of them. One of the red-haired figures charged another, grappling for the wand and snapping it with the force of impact.
Nicole White, apparently trained not only in magical defense, jammed an elbow into the remaining Death-Eater's gut, and administered an uncerimonial kick to the solar plexus, stunning him after he fell to the ground, winded. Nicole, Fred and George joined in a circle with Harry, moving around to fend off further attacks from the seven Death Eaters remaining.
Remus had stunned Pettigrew and was desperately trying to hold off four of the remaining enemy, who were attempting to take Peter back. Nicole and Hermione vaulted over simultaneously and took on two of them. Remus broke free as Sirius arrived at the run, having heard the yells from his position on the edge of the forest. He glanced around, took in the situation, and calmly clubbed a Death Eater over the head.
The Hogwartians rallied into a line, and when the few enemies left saw their opponents in an orderly mob (if there is such a thing), they took to the hills, fleeing through the forest and leaving Pettigrew to Remus.
Harry looked around. None of the remaining Death Eaters were concious.
"Are you all right?" asked Sophia with concern. "It was a jolly fight, except for us being out-numbered and not knowing if we would die, and all...."
Harry shook his head. He didn't see how anyone could call violence "Jolly".
"Is anyone hurt?" inquired Hermione, sounding just like Madam Pomfrey.
"Uh, me," said Nicole. She was indeed; a long bloody gash across her thigh.
"So'm I," voiced Fred. He too was injured, a deep short slash that cut across his chest.
"Me too," volunteered Harry. The gash above his ear had opened again, mainly from a convient scratch from a handry tree limb.
"Here," said Sophie, fishing for her hankerchief. She tossed it to Fred. "Keep that on your chest-- it should hold until we get back to the castle."
Remus pulled out another square of white cloth and handed it to Harry. "That looks deep."
"It's not, really," said Harry gratefully, holding the linen to his freely bleeding injury. "Why were there at all, George?"
"Just couldn't resist-- and I thought you might need a little extra help."
"I'll just limp along here," said Nicole, trying a few steps on her cut leg.
"No need." George swooped down and picked her up easily. "I've done this before, remember?"
"Don't remind me-- you'll depress me."
The teachers, George and Hermione were not hurt beyond a few extra bruises and burns from the Stunners, so they all limped back up to the castle, Sirius, who was the least injured, carrying Pettigrew. They were met in the entrance hall by a worried Ron and an anxious Professor Dumbledore. Once he had the full story, the headmaster made them all go up to the hospital wing, where Madam Pomfrey could treat the full range of their injuries as Professors McGonagall and Snape took charge of Pettigrew.
Later that night, the Minister of Magic came into the hospital wing. "Mr. Black, your name is cleared; Pettigrew has confessed," he said officiously. In an undertone he added, "And I'm terribly sorry about Azkaban. It sure looked like you did it."
Sirius cracked a grin. "Peter had it set up that way to do just what it did. But I'm glad my name's cleared."
"WAIT A MOMENT!!" yelled Snape, charging through the double doors like a maddened bulldog. "MINISTER! I have proof that Harry Potter has been conspiring with Sirius Black!"
"Yes, but he DID happen to know I was innocent," snapped Sirius, starting up off the edge of the bed where he was sitting.
"Professor Snape!" Madam Pomfrey came out of her office, red in the face. "I must ask you to be quiet! I only just got Mr. Weasley, and Miss White to rest! They lost a lot of blood in that fight with those Death Eaters."
"Lost a lot of blood my--" Snape seemed to think the better of what he was saying. "Very well Poppy," he said grudgingly. "Minister?"
"Well, Snape," said Fudge, "I'm afraid that... uh, well, we can't get Potter arrested even if he WAS in contact with Mr. Black, because section 7 of the Law Enforcement document clearly states that you cannot apprehend someone for concealing the whereabouts of an innocent man, even if he was convicted. Since Mr. Black is most obviously innocent--"
"Mr. Blue here almost got me killed once!" shrieked Snape.
"Now, Severus," said Fudge, looking quite alarmed at Snape's unbalanced manner, "there is no evidence of that at all, no, no evidence."
Dumbledore came in. "Ah, Sirius," he said, smiling. "Good to see you awake. Minister, I'm glad you're here. I'm offering a job to Sirius as a teacher and I need you to witness it."
Snape's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "What?!?" he screeched. "But--"
He fell silent when Madam Pomfrey strode over, pointing at the ward door. "OUT!" she ordered. "And don't come back until you can be QUIET!" She blushed suddenly and looked startlingly coy. To everyone's suprise, Snape flushed fiercely and strode from the hospital wing, looking back over his shoulder at Madam Pomfrey.
"Of course, of course," said Fudge, hastily signing the parchment Dumbledore presented. "Must be going-- see you in a few days, I expect, Professor, Mr. Black." Seconds later he was gone.
"What will this class I'm teaching be on?" asked Sirius with great interest.
Dumbledore looked around furtively. "Well," he whispered, "it depends. You're pretty well rounded, Sirius, and so I thought this would be an optional class (for all those who want to take it) on just about anything they'd like."
"All right!" exclaimed Sirius. "We can have some real fun with this."
********
That Saturday Harry went down to breakfast early: he had been warned by Sirius, Remus and Sophie to come in early and watch the fun. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was a prank and that Fred and George had had a hand in it too. No one was there but himself, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Nicole, Sirius, Remus and Sophie.
Soon he saw Snape slowly coming down the stairs fresh robes-- Sophie almost spewed orange juice across the table when she saw him, so great was her anticipating laughter.
"A hint," whispered George. "We decided dear old Severus needed a shower."
"Oh, so that's what that bucket of water hanging from thin air above the door frame is for," remarked Nicole innocently.
"You'll see," said Fred mysteriously. As soon as Snape was inches away from coming in, Sirius called, "Severus, your hair looks remarkably like a charred sausage. Greasy-- don't you ever wash it?" It was-- it HAD to be --the signal. The bucket emptied, its contents landing squarely on Snape's head. But it wasn't water--
Orange juice was dripping out of Snape's hair and robes. The Marauders were falling over the table with laughter as Snape shook his head, sending the sticky liquid flying everywhere. A small pool collected at his feet.
"What is that smell?" asked Harry.
"Shampoo," Ron choked out. He was rolling on the floor in laughter at the sight of Snape, his hair dripping and the smell of strong shampoo coming off him in waves.
"You little-" Snape started angrily toward the Marauders.
"It wasn't us!" Remus gasped. "Look!"
Peeves was floating near the ceiling in his wheelchair, another bucket in hand. "Peevesy weevesy's a naughty boy," he cackled. "See?"
He scooped something from the bucket and threw it. It burst on Snape's head; a water balloon. "Old Snapie stunk, so Peevesy gave him a shower," squealed Peeves. He ducked under the doorframe and wheeled away through the air, still throwing balloons at Snape as he chased after Peeves. The sound of splattering water, water balloons bursting, and Snape's angry voice, shouting obscenities that would have had a student expelled, echoed throughout the castle.
Colin Creevy came in. "Hey, did you guys get a load of Snape in the hall?" he asked. "That was brillant! What's he wearing, colonge?"
Sirius looked musingly at Sophie. "You know, there's some possiblities there."
And the entire table cracked up again.
*********
As it turned out, they didn't have to trick Snape into wearing colonge. In a desperate attempt to make himself more appealing to the opposite sex, Severus Snape had not only washed his hair, he was wearing aftershave. A few people said that this was not the worst of it, Hermione among them. Unfortunately for the entire school, they were right.
Snape actually brushed his hair, his robes were suddenly sparkling clean, and he-- according to some, the final straw-- had actually shaved. The slightly-too long stubble was now smooth and short.
Nothing could change his disposition, though. At classes, he was as uptight as ever, and at mealtimes he would hardly eat, mostly because glaring at the Marauders, (who were at the other end of the table,) left him little time for insignificant tasks like the basic nature of the human race-- survival.
The reason for Snape's sudden change of personal hygiene became suddenly and drastically clear at dinner one night, a week before Christmas. After dinner, Dumbledore raised his hand, and the room fell slowly silent.
"As you all know," he began, "Christmas is not very far away. Due to the many enthusiastic requests, we are going to continue the Yule Ball tradition, which usually only comes with the Triwizard Tournament. It will be on Christmas Night, as usual. I suggest you all have dancing partners before then, as it can be very awkward to go dancing alone." A few people chuckled.
Later that week, Harry tried to think about who he could invite to come to the Ball. He had lost his taste for Cho Chang; Hermione had already asked someone (she had said so yesterday); Nicole was going with George, of course; Parvati Patil was going with Seamus Finnigan, so she was out. Harry cast his mind around desperately and it landed on Ginny. He thought it over carefully. He knew she'd be happy to go, and he didn't mind... at least, not really. Ginny had improved a lot since last year, and she was really very pretty now.
But what would Ron say?
Ron didn't seem to mind when he saw Harry in the entrance hall with Ginny the night of the Yule Ball. He even gave Harry a wink and muttered, "You did better than me," as he walked past with Padma Patil.
Upon entering the Great Hall, Harry saw the setup was the same as last year; the house tables had been moved against the wall and about a hundred smaller tables were scattered around the room, each seating about twelve people. Harry managed to reserve a table for all his friends and their dates, and it was full by the time all of them had arrived. It was quite a mixed group, ranging from Hermione and Draco Malfoy to Sophie Willow and Remus Lupin. Harry was curious about the latter.
"Are you guys hooked up, as Nicole would say?" he asked, "not to pry, or anything...."
"Uh, not really..." said Sophie.
"We both went stag, and ended up sitting next to each other," added Remus.
"Stag?" inquired Harry blankly.
"Neither of us actually went with anyone.... we'll just dance with whoever we feel like," explained Remus.
"You're braver than me," laughed Harry. Sophie tisked at his lack of proper grammar. At last it was time to dance. Even the teachers got up onto the dance floor, and nearly every one of the students went out. Harry and Ginny went up as well; Harry feeling nervous. But it wasn't nearly as bad as he had remembered, he thought as he waltzed slowly around the room, Ginny leading. Finally he felt comfortable enough to look around at the other couples. Sirius and Trina were kicking their heels up in best American fashion nearby; both shot him identical evil grins as they saw him dancing awkwardly with Ginny.
"I swear you did better than I did," muttered Sirius out of the corner of his mouth in passing. "Trina's a horrible-- ow!"
Trina looked smug. "I heard that!"
"Well, there was no call to go and step on my foot," said Sirius indignantly, rubbing the bruised appendage.
"That's what you think," retorted Trina.
Harry shook his head and steered himself gradually away. He didn't want to be around when they got to point of throwing the proverbial (or not so) water balloon.
The evening passed in a pleasant blur of laughing, dancing and talking. Harry had more fun with Ginny than he'd ever had with any other girls besides Hermione and Nicole and by the end of the evening had a genuine affection for her. Ron's younger sister's quick wit, sarcasm and sense of a good time could make anyone laugh.
Before Harry knew it, it was time to leave. Out in the entrance hall, dozens of couples were saying goodbye for the night, Hermione and Draco among them. Harry looked away quickly and saw Ron heading back up to the Gryffindor tower. He and Ginny jogged to catch up. "Did you get a load of Hermione?" asked Ron gleefully.
"Whoa yeah," replied Ginny, adopting Nicole's slang for a moment. "Hermione and Malfoy-- how strange is that?"
Nicole, Fred and George joined them. "No stranger than Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley," George grinned. Ginny blushed scarlet and gave him an elbow in the ribs, saying, "Hey, Harry asked me!"
"Thanks, Ginny," Harry mumbled.
"Guess he just loved the wild side of our little sister," said Fred, also showing his teeth wickedly.
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room," quipped Nicole.
"As you are proof of."
Harry and Ron were passing by the library a few weeks later when Sirius poked his head out and hissed, "Harry! Ron! Come in for a moment, won't you?"
Harry followed Sirius through a bewildering maze of shelves to the very back of the library, where, tucked into a small rescess with several chairs, were several people.
"Hello, Harry, Ron," said Remus casually, leaning back into his chair. "Take a seat, before they're all gone." There was a tiny couch at the back of the niche, and Harry and Ron sat down, feeling puzzled.Sophie came in, leading Fred and George, Hermione and Nicole.
"Found 'em," she said, and let go of their ears. "Have a seat." She motioned toward the couch. Fred and George squeezed on to the pillows while Hermione and Nicole plunked into chairs and Sophie sat down. Sirius was left to sprawl on the floor.
"Well you may be wondering why we dragged you all here," said Remus with a grand sweep of his hand.
"To put it midly," interjected Fred.
"Well, we have set a goal this New Year's," explained Sirius. "And we need your help."
"Oh?" Nicole was skeptical. "And what goal would that be?"
"To thoroughly ruin Snape's life by the end of January," said Sophie solemnly.
Fred began to laugh. "And what made you set this-- goal?" he inquired.
"Our reputation as Marauders must be revived."
"No use in dishonoring James when we're all here."
George, too, began to snigger. "And have we got just the thing," he snickered, pulling something from the inside of his robes. "Gentlemen, ladies, I present to you this photograph, taken by one Natilie McDonald, aspiring wizard photographer."
It was a small, wizarding color picture, of Snape. The odd thing was, he had a wistful expression on his face and seemed to be gazing at something in his palm. As Harry watched, the figure blinked and displayed the object-- a small green sequin.
Fred now produced another photograph. "Sibyl Trelawnrey, Divination teacher; photograph also taken by N. McDonald."
Sure enough, it was Trelawnrey in her favorite green sequin dress, gazing into her crystal ball. Her face eerily reflected the glowing light.
"And lastly, our informant N. McDonald managed to get a picture of a certain Poppy Pomfrey." Madam Pomfrey smiled for the camera and blushed a little. Her feather duster flicked up and down. "So?" asked Hermione.
Fred toyed with them on the coffee table. "Aha! See if you can figure it out now. Give you a hint: it's something you would NOT expect from Snape." But he didn't get half finished before someone caught on. "Jesus Christ!" exclaimed Sophie. "You are NOT implying what I think you are...."
"Yup!" Fred nodded vigorously.
"If old Snapey's hormones are finally hitting him at thirty-two, that's pretty sad," mumbled Sirius.
"Aaaah!" whispered Ron. "I'm only sixteen! Don't subject me to this!"
"I've got to admit, it is pretty horrific," confessed Remus wryly.
"But the big question is.... how can we mess it up?" asked Harry.
"The big question is, do we want to demote Snape in Trelawnrey's eyes or do we want to get them in to the most awkward and embarrassing situations possible," Nicole corrected.
"Get them in the most awkward and embarrassing situations possible," chorused Hermione and Ron together.
"And the perfect place to do so would be--"
"Sirius's class!" said Sophie, her eyes gleaming evilly.
"We can have them as guests," suggested Remus.
"And make them talk about their opinions about changing the lives of people!" added Hermione. Everyone looked at her.
"Some people would say that Divination can change people's lives. Snape doesn't think much of Divination, so we could have him talk about potions that could change people's lives!"
"Like love potions?" asked Sophie slyly.
"Exactly. Or--" Samantha Killos came into sight, carrying a large book, and Hermione quickly shut up as Samantha headed towards the next niche over. Ron coughed loudly as she passed, and Samantha looked up. "Ron!" she said, backtracking quickly to the shelves and hiding the hand with the book behind her back. "What are you doing here?"
"Studying?" suggested Harry innocently.
"Right, well, I'll be going, then," said Samantha, and ducked out. Ron stared after her for a moment, puzzled.
"Weird bloke," he said, frowning.
"Yeah, well, it got rid of her," said Harry, trying desperately to hid his laughter.
Sirius's first class was in a little over a week, and Harry watched with trepidation as it drew nearer. But on the afternoon before the big event, something horrible occured to him. He mentioned it to Nicole as they tramped through the freezing castle to Potions. "How in the world is Sirius going to get Snape to come?" wondered Harry.
"Just wait and see... the Marauders have their little ways." Nicole grinned. "Remember, I know-- I lived with Sirius over the summer."
"If you say so," said Harry.
They arrived at an unused classroom that was soon to be Sirius's a little before eight o'clock. The place was filthy; dust and dirt adorned the floor and desktops. Sirius stood in the middle of it all, looking with dismay around a very large crate.
"I've dropped my wand," he said, annoyed. Nicole spotted the wand immediately. "It's on the teacher's desk," she said, blinking.
"Oh. Thank you."
"What IS that, Sirius?" asked Harry curiously.
"This? Oh, this is the Mirror of Erised," said Sirius innocently.
"WHAT? How did you get Dumbledore to lend that to you?" Nicole was incredulous. Sirius waved his wand casually and the dust and dirt disappeared. "Oh, I just said I was curious as to how it worked," he answered, a little too confidently.
"Sirius," said Harry, beginning to laugh, "what do you want with that mirror?"
"I'm going to use it as an example of how things can change your life." Sirius flicked a speck of dust off the crate and began to unpack. "I figured it'd be good to have Snape know his true heart's desire."
"Better leave a window open, so he can jump out of it," said Ron, poking his head into the doorway, "or not. If he wants to commit suicide, he can break the window himself. It's too cold out there."
"But he'd be much more inclined to leap if the window were open," argued Hermione, shouldering past Ron into the room. She began to help Sirius uncover the Mirror, and before long they had it standing up against one wall.
"Forget Snape," muttered Harry, "I wanna know what Trelawnrey sees."
"My powers of prediction tell me she will see herself with a huge pet Grim next to her predicting death omens in a gaudy shop." Hermione cracked the evillest grin Harry had even seen on her. "And a blue china cup of tea convienently placed so she can knock it over in shock when her customer storms out."
Sirius laughed. "I was in school with her, did you know? The Divination teacher back then was a nice old lady named Eliza Grant. Nothing like Sibyl-- hated her, in fact. Professor Grant had a strong mystical side, but didn't like the dramatic. I've never seen a person more dramatic than Sibyl."
"Sibyl sounds like a cat's name," commented Nicole.
"Or a batty old Divination teacher's," sniggered Hermione.
Snape came in. "How very touching," he remarked, his eyes roving over the scene. "Enjoying a little family troublemakers' reunion, are we?" He took a seat.
Sophie stormed in. "Sirius, Sibyl's refusing to come in until the class does--" she stopped short when she saw Snape.
"Fine," sighed Sirius. "Let her wait. Put her in the cold drafty corridor beside Flitwick's room, two over, and leave her there until we're ready."
"Throwing around colleagues like dolls?" sneered Snape. "How very touching."
"You've said that already," Remus pointed out, entering. He carried a large stack of books. "Here you are, Sirius."
"Thank you," said Sirius, glaring at Snape. "Put them over there, on the cabinet, please."
"What are those for?" asked Hermione, interested.
"To make him look more offical, of course," spat Snape.
"Snape, you have two options. You may either leave, or get out," barked Remus irritably, turning. Harry noticed his normally green eyes were glowing a sharp bluish color. Harry looked out the window-- the full moon!
"I will accept neither, werewolf," hissed Snape.
Remus pulled the side of one lip up to show the slightly too long canine in an act of suprisingly wolf-like disdain. "Fine then, but shut up."
Fred and George entered, taking seats on either side of Snape. More people began to filter in slowly. A group of Ravenclaws fell into seats in the back row, shivering. A herd of Hufflepuffs eyed Sirius warily and bunched at one end of the desks. Nearly all the Gryffindors entered and occupied the front row; comfortable around Sirius only because of having priorly met him. Trina came in, dragging Sibyl with her; Trelawnrey took a seat at the teacher's desk, much to everyone's displeasure. Last to come were a few surly Slytherins, including Malfoy. He took a seat next to Hermione as Harry himself sat at one of the few empty desks.
Sirius, apparently ignoring the quiet mutterings around the room, explained the premisis of the class. "And so, we have today my colleagues Severus Snape and Sibyl Trelawney. Sibyl, Severus, please stand up," he concluded. Fred looked up hastily as Snape stood. George glanced guiltily at Sirius. "Please come up here," said Sirius politely. Snape began to walk forward--
And he was falling, tripping over the cleverly disguised thread barrier that the Weasley twins had rigged at about ankle height.
"Oh no!" exclaimed Sirius, almost unbearably courteous. "Let me help you up!"
"Get away from me, Black," spat Snape. He levered himself to his feet, blushing fiercely when Trelawney looked at him with disgust.
"Now, I understand you two both major in areas of magic people would classify as life-changing," continued Sirius. "How would you say it affected your life?"
Snape realized he had to put on a good show, and gave some B.S. answer. "Uh, I think-- I think it has really helped me to understand and to-- to communicate with people." Harry tried valiantly to keep his rib-breaking laughter under control. The Weasley twins' faces turned an odd shade of red as they fought desperately against the ineviteble snickers.
"To me, it has helped me reach my inner self," said Trelawney haughtily. Hermione's face contorted strangely as she attempted to hold in giggles. "Very nice," said Sirius, not paying the slightest bit of attention. "Now, I would like you both to look into this mirror, here, one at a time, very good..." Trelawney blushed bright red and looked more like an insect than ever as she did so. Snape, on the other hand, paled, his eyes bugged, and he looked unspeakably angry.
"Thank you," said Sirius, pulling them both away from the mirror. "Now, would either one of you describe what you saw as life-changing?"
Trelawney's eyelashes fluttered. "Oh, yes, insights are always life-changing." Nicole snorted. Snape's turn. "Oh, well, I wouldn't call it life-changing, but it certainly was interesting..." Harry doubled over, ducking beneath the table as Colin Creevy turned a laugh into a hacking cough. "Now, Professor Snape, if someone put a Love Potion in your pumpkin juice that made you fall in love with Sibyl here, would you be angry?"
"Yes I'd be angry!" snarled Snape, losing his composure for a moment.
"Why, Severus, you of all people should know that this was a trick question! Very few can detect a Love Potion-- why, one might almost think you had real feelings for her." Sirius was obviously trying to be as annoying as possible; he laughed heartily and his voice was animated. The entire class found this hilarious as well. There was a loud thump as Natalie McDonald's chair fell over backwards onto the stone floor.
Trelawney laughed as well, saying, "That's the best joke I've heard in a while, Sirius." Snape's face twisted with fury.
That was pretty much it for the night. Peeves popped up unannounced and started singing, "Snape and Trelawney, sittin' in a tree". Professor Trelawney found this extremely amusing, but when Peeves declared they had to kiss or he wouldn't stop, ever, the smile was wiped from her face. Snape flatly refused, of course, and when the class had left, Harry asked him about it.
"That wasn't me, either," chuckled Sirius. "And knowing Peeves, he really won't stop until they kiss."
Sophie covered her face with her hand. "This should be horrific," she told them.
"Maybe she'd find Snape more attractive in a green dress with a fox fur scarf and a stuffed vulture hat," suggested Ron innocently.
Harry nearly fell over laughing.
Sirius let Harry try out the Mirror of Erised before they left. This time, Harry was prepared, and told himself harshly that his mum and dad were dead and looking at images wouldn't bring them back. But this time, he got a suprise.
Lily, James, a small, elven-faced, pointy-eared, green eyed, black haired woman and one of Harry's grandfathers weren't the only people.
Surrounding him were people he really knew. Fred, George, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Nicole, Sophia Willow, Sirius, and Remus stood around him, smiling. They all had a part to play in his family. Harry blinked and looked away.
"Thanks, Sirius," he mumbled, and left, still laughing over Snape; still happy to see some people he really knew as part of his family.
Harry climbed into his bed and fell asleep.
A/N: Good Lord, that was a long chapter. GRR! I don' like formatting! Waaaanhaaa! Anyhoozle, I can't believe I said I like this piece of.... dusty old dry vaguely literate tripe. (How can tripe be literate? Don't ask... I'm strange...)
A Lizyrd Who Has Been On the Computer WAY TOO LONG!