For a while, the child strayed from the normal behavior of a Clan child. He would not eat. He no longer played with his former best friend, Grev. He would not talk to anyone, not even Uba. On his own, Durc would be found making strange sounds that had no meaning to anyone but him, even though he knew such unnecessary sound-making was looked down upon. He knew that the Clan spoke only with their hands and expressions, and few spoken words. His pain-sticken heart did not care. He would babble to himself, waiting for the sounds to be repeated to him by the one he knew never would.
The other members of the clan would shake their heads, thinking, "He was such a well behaved child before." They left him alone, though, having in their subconcious the understanding of why he acted the way he did. Only two other people in the clan, besides Durc, let themselves remember her. One was Uba, her sister. The other was the new leader, who was ever haunted by her memory. Ayla's Death Curse would never truly be legitimate. This made his rage even greater than ever before.
Durc awoke screaming! He had had the dream again, the one about the day of the earthquake. But his nightmares were not about the earthquake; they were about what happened after.
...there was a commotion among the clan members. Something very bad had happened. Durc struggled to get down from Uba's restraining arms. Where was his Mama? She came out of the cave, all dressed and packed for leaving. Durc broke free of his restraints and tried to run to her, but his baby steps were slow and he was again held back.
"Mama! Don't go!" he cried.
Ayla was hugging him. Then she was gone.
The dream ended with Durc's mournful, echoing wail, "Mamaaa! Maamaaaa!" Uba and Vorn were awake. Uba stroked the baby's hair and tried to lull him to sleep with the low, rhythmic lulluby Ayla had hummed for Uba so long ago, when Uba was a baby. Uba tried to replicate the melody, but she could not. She and the rest of the Clan lacked Ayla's specialized vocal chords that let her hum, and when she was too young to remember, to talk. The most Uba could put together were a few guttural tones. They did not have the smooth flow of Ayla's lovely hums, but were rather short and choppy, and they hurt her throat. Durc seemed to sense, though, that his adoptive mother was trying. He would listen quietly, at least appreciating the effort.
The sun was reappearing from her hiding place behind the mountain, and the rest of the clan was awakening. Uba got up to make breakfast, before it would be time to move out. Ever since their old cave had been destroyed, the clan was still traveling, searching for a new home.
Vorn busied himself by watching Durc. Uba could feel that he liked the baby, even with the "deformity." Vorn used to be loyal to Broud, and should have especially been, now, as his second-in-command. However, after Broud showed his true, destructive nature, Vorn had to question his loyalties. He now considered Uba and Durc his main priorities. He, along with Brun, would make sure the boy was protected. Though he was one of those who chose to forget, Vorn would do this for Ayla.
Uba, however, could not forget. There was not a day she did not remember the last time her sister had looked into her eyes. There was not a day Ayla's last words did not echo in her mind. "Take care of my son for me, Uba," Ayla had said. "Take care of him... my sister." Even without Brun and Vorn's help, Uba would keep the promise, to her death. I may be just a woman, she thought, but I can be strong-- strong, like Ayla was. Though she didn't show it as obviously as Durc, Uba's mind and heart were obsessed with the memory of Ayla.
Durc had the nightmare often. He usually did not remember it when he was awake, but the feeling of loss and desolation would stay with him. He would feel a chill whenever Broud walked by him, pausing slightly, as if he wanted to do something to the child... if he wasn't held back by invisible chains. Brun was not the leader anymore. Brun could not control Broud anymore. But the man could not shake the invisible chains of Brun's angry eyes... Brun's desolately disappointed eyes. Those eyes would haunt him just as much as the memory of the one he would forever believed was at fault. For this reason, Broud stayed away from her son. He acted almost as if the child did not exist... except for that slight pause in step as he walked by.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Three years time went by, and still the clan walked on. They had found several caves, each fine enough, yet not enough. Sometimes they would stay for a while, usually only for a place to winter, then move on again once it was warm enough. To Uba, it seemed they were not really searching anymore. They would never really find a true home. Though no one voiced the depressing thought, several felt that their protective, loving totem spirits had left them long ago, in the earthquake-- or at least soon after.
Uba no longer payed attention to her forward moving feet; instead, she walked as if in a permanent daze, except to stop and gather medicinal plants and such. Uba was the clan's only medicine woman now, though she was still young. Many had been sick, and Uba cared for them accordingly. Several people died, either of old age, terrible sickness, or just the fact that their hearts simply did not feel like beating for yet another endless day.
They passed by a small stream, where wildflowers grew. Uba stopped to examine some that had a light lavendar color. After deciding they were not poisonous, she picked several and stowed them in her otter skin pouch. She was about to stand up again, but stopped to look into the clear water. She gazed in at her reflection. Even now, Uba still had trouble knowing what it was that the others found so strange about Ayla's appearance. Uba had been born knowing the girl of the Others. She had never seen anything strange about her. Now she wondered... she tried to compare the memory of Ayla's face to the one she saw, now, in the water. Ayla didn't have brow ridges...her forhead had sloped upward, her golden hair was certainly different from the dark hair of the people of the Clan...and her eyes were blue, and water could come out of them when she was sad. I wonder why my eyes don't do that when I'm sad?
"Worthless woman!" Broud's sharp cry jolted Uba from her musings, but she made no sound as his hard fist knocked her to the ground. "How can you just sit there, staring into space? I will not have slackers in my clan! What were you doing?" Some of the others turned away from the scene, hiding their expressions. Uba was not a worthless woman; a medicine woman had possibly the highest status of all. But... Broud was leader. He could treat his clan however he chose.
"This woman is sorry, Broud," Uba said. "I should not have been so lazy."
Durc sat, watching the scene with glazed eyes. He hated seeing Uba treated like this. He hated seeing any woman treated that way, though it was most of the time supposed to be just proper discipline. Seeing Broud hit Uba triggered the hidden memory of how he had done the same to Durc's mother. Durc now remembered several incidents his baby mind had pushed away, of Ayla being beaten by Broud. What he could never remember, though, was why. Though much of Ayla had slipped out of his memory over the years, the one thing Durc did remember was that she was kind. Ayla was nearly always smiling and kind, and good. Yet Broud had still hit her. Why? This question now tormented young Durc's mind.
Uba brushed herself off and walked over to him. She saw his expression and said, "I am alright, Durc. You do not have to worry about me."
"But I do," Durc said. "Why do you let him treat you that way?"
Uba sighed. "Because it is the Clan way. When a man says to do something, a woman does it. You know that, Durc."
"Yes, I know." But it was still hard for Durc to accept that, though he himself was almost a man. Uba's eyes held the slightest smile; he had gotten that trait from his mother.
The women and older men were resting by a mountainside, waiting for the men to return from the hunting lesson. It was Durc's second real hunting lesson. As she was preparing dinner, Uba saw them. Durc was walking with pleasant strides, Brun on one side of him and Vorn on the other. Uba realized this was one of the first times she had seen the boy in a good mood.
"How did it go?" Uba asked, when Vorn and Durc sat down beside her.
"The boy is a natural," Vorn said with pride. "Brun said so himself."
"That is good," Uba was happy. Brun had said he would take on the job of Durc's training, at the child's naming ceremony, since no one else at Durc's old hearth could do it. Ayla's hunting privileges only extended as far as the sling, and Creb, the only man of the hearth, had been crippled. Uba looked at her small family: her mate and her adopted son. A sadness settled in her as she remembered her old hearth, her old family: Creb-- The Mog-ur, Iza--the medicine woman before Ayla, herself, and Durc. How sad it was that the family had disintigrated. First Iza had died of sickness and old age. Then Uba was mated to Vorn and they formed their own hearth. Then, when Broud became leader, he had taken Ayla as his second mate and, as an irrational revenge, had said her son was to live with Uba and Vorn. Only Creb was left. So it had begun, and so it ended. This was all too soon followed by Creb's death in the cave in, caused by the earthquake. Uba felt a deep, inner chill. The Mog-ur was gone. The greatest holy magician the Clan had ever known was dead... deep inside her subconcious, Uba had the sense of a downhill path from here. But... she was only a woman. What could she know of such things?
"Uba, would you tell me one of the legends?" Durc asked one afternoon, as the clan traveled on. It had been so long since anyone had told stories, even during the winters and the few celebrations.
Uba thought for a minute, then decided, "I will tell you the legend of Durc." That had been Ayla's favorite. "The Spirit of Light Dry Snow took the Spirit of Granular Snow as his mate and after a time she gave birth to a Mountain of Ice far to the north........
...........And what happened to Durc and those who left with him? It is said by some they were eaten by wolves and lions, and by some they were drowned in the great waters. Others say that when they reached the land of the Sun, he became angry because Durc and his people wanted his land. He sent a ball of fire down from the sky to devour them. They disappeared and no one ever saw them again."
Durc walked quietly for a while, just thinking. "Maybe Durc didn't die," he finally said. He turned this idea over in his mind, then nodded as if to confirm it.
Uba thought about this. The land of the Sun... it sounded to her like a good place. A place of happiness. A new thought came to Uba, then. Maybe Ayla was in a place like that. Maybe Ayla, like the legendary Durc, had traveled to the land of the Sun.
For the first time, Uba felt a sense of closure. Life would never be as it was when they lived in the great cave, but it was okay. She no longer minded the traveling on and on. She thought, Maybe this clan is meant to travel.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Something had happened over the course of time. Uba realized this as she watched the hunters coming back from one of their hunts. She noticed how, even though Broud was always at the head of the line, he never really seemed to be leading them. The same thing went for the rest of the people. Over the course of time, the clan had silently, in their minds, stopped thinking of Broud as their leader. In a subconcious sense, he had been impeached.
But the clan did not think of Brun as their leader, either. Brun had passed on some time ago, but even before that, the clan knew he was truly not their leader anymore. They hadn't even The Mog-ur to turn to. The clan was faced with the frightening, deep knowledge that they really no longer had a leader.
The Clan was on their own.
The other members of the clan would shake their heads, thinking, "He was such a well behaved child before." They left him alone, though, having in their subconcious the understanding of why he acted the way he did. Only two other people in the clan, besides Durc, let themselves remember her. One was Uba, her sister. The other was the new leader, who was ever haunted by her memory. Ayla's Death Curse would never truly be legitimate. This made his rage even greater than ever before.
Durc awoke screaming! He had had the dream again, the one about the day of the earthquake. But his nightmares were not about the earthquake; they were about what happened after.
...there was a commotion among the clan members. Something very bad had happened. Durc struggled to get down from Uba's restraining arms. Where was his Mama? She came out of the cave, all dressed and packed for leaving. Durc broke free of his restraints and tried to run to her, but his baby steps were slow and he was again held back.
"Mama! Don't go!" he cried.
Ayla was hugging him. Then she was gone.
The dream ended with Durc's mournful, echoing wail, "Mamaaa! Maamaaaa!" Uba and Vorn were awake. Uba stroked the baby's hair and tried to lull him to sleep with the low, rhythmic lulluby Ayla had hummed for Uba so long ago, when Uba was a baby. Uba tried to replicate the melody, but she could not. She and the rest of the Clan lacked Ayla's specialized vocal chords that let her hum, and when she was too young to remember, to talk. The most Uba could put together were a few guttural tones. They did not have the smooth flow of Ayla's lovely hums, but were rather short and choppy, and they hurt her throat. Durc seemed to sense, though, that his adoptive mother was trying. He would listen quietly, at least appreciating the effort.
The sun was reappearing from her hiding place behind the mountain, and the rest of the clan was awakening. Uba got up to make breakfast, before it would be time to move out. Ever since their old cave had been destroyed, the clan was still traveling, searching for a new home.
Vorn busied himself by watching Durc. Uba could feel that he liked the baby, even with the "deformity." Vorn used to be loyal to Broud, and should have especially been, now, as his second-in-command. However, after Broud showed his true, destructive nature, Vorn had to question his loyalties. He now considered Uba and Durc his main priorities. He, along with Brun, would make sure the boy was protected. Though he was one of those who chose to forget, Vorn would do this for Ayla.
Uba, however, could not forget. There was not a day she did not remember the last time her sister had looked into her eyes. There was not a day Ayla's last words did not echo in her mind. "Take care of my son for me, Uba," Ayla had said. "Take care of him... my sister." Even without Brun and Vorn's help, Uba would keep the promise, to her death. I may be just a woman, she thought, but I can be strong-- strong, like Ayla was. Though she didn't show it as obviously as Durc, Uba's mind and heart were obsessed with the memory of Ayla.
Durc had the nightmare often. He usually did not remember it when he was awake, but the feeling of loss and desolation would stay with him. He would feel a chill whenever Broud walked by him, pausing slightly, as if he wanted to do something to the child... if he wasn't held back by invisible chains. Brun was not the leader anymore. Brun could not control Broud anymore. But the man could not shake the invisible chains of Brun's angry eyes... Brun's desolately disappointed eyes. Those eyes would haunt him just as much as the memory of the one he would forever believed was at fault. For this reason, Broud stayed away from her son. He acted almost as if the child did not exist... except for that slight pause in step as he walked by.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Three years time went by, and still the clan walked on. They had found several caves, each fine enough, yet not enough. Sometimes they would stay for a while, usually only for a place to winter, then move on again once it was warm enough. To Uba, it seemed they were not really searching anymore. They would never really find a true home. Though no one voiced the depressing thought, several felt that their protective, loving totem spirits had left them long ago, in the earthquake-- or at least soon after.
Uba no longer payed attention to her forward moving feet; instead, she walked as if in a permanent daze, except to stop and gather medicinal plants and such. Uba was the clan's only medicine woman now, though she was still young. Many had been sick, and Uba cared for them accordingly. Several people died, either of old age, terrible sickness, or just the fact that their hearts simply did not feel like beating for yet another endless day.
They passed by a small stream, where wildflowers grew. Uba stopped to examine some that had a light lavendar color. After deciding they were not poisonous, she picked several and stowed them in her otter skin pouch. She was about to stand up again, but stopped to look into the clear water. She gazed in at her reflection. Even now, Uba still had trouble knowing what it was that the others found so strange about Ayla's appearance. Uba had been born knowing the girl of the Others. She had never seen anything strange about her. Now she wondered... she tried to compare the memory of Ayla's face to the one she saw, now, in the water. Ayla didn't have brow ridges...her forhead had sloped upward, her golden hair was certainly different from the dark hair of the people of the Clan...and her eyes were blue, and water could come out of them when she was sad. I wonder why my eyes don't do that when I'm sad?
"Worthless woman!" Broud's sharp cry jolted Uba from her musings, but she made no sound as his hard fist knocked her to the ground. "How can you just sit there, staring into space? I will not have slackers in my clan! What were you doing?" Some of the others turned away from the scene, hiding their expressions. Uba was not a worthless woman; a medicine woman had possibly the highest status of all. But... Broud was leader. He could treat his clan however he chose.
"This woman is sorry, Broud," Uba said. "I should not have been so lazy."
Durc sat, watching the scene with glazed eyes. He hated seeing Uba treated like this. He hated seeing any woman treated that way, though it was most of the time supposed to be just proper discipline. Seeing Broud hit Uba triggered the hidden memory of how he had done the same to Durc's mother. Durc now remembered several incidents his baby mind had pushed away, of Ayla being beaten by Broud. What he could never remember, though, was why. Though much of Ayla had slipped out of his memory over the years, the one thing Durc did remember was that she was kind. Ayla was nearly always smiling and kind, and good. Yet Broud had still hit her. Why? This question now tormented young Durc's mind.
Uba brushed herself off and walked over to him. She saw his expression and said, "I am alright, Durc. You do not have to worry about me."
"But I do," Durc said. "Why do you let him treat you that way?"
Uba sighed. "Because it is the Clan way. When a man says to do something, a woman does it. You know that, Durc."
"Yes, I know." But it was still hard for Durc to accept that, though he himself was almost a man. Uba's eyes held the slightest smile; he had gotten that trait from his mother.
The women and older men were resting by a mountainside, waiting for the men to return from the hunting lesson. It was Durc's second real hunting lesson. As she was preparing dinner, Uba saw them. Durc was walking with pleasant strides, Brun on one side of him and Vorn on the other. Uba realized this was one of the first times she had seen the boy in a good mood.
"How did it go?" Uba asked, when Vorn and Durc sat down beside her.
"The boy is a natural," Vorn said with pride. "Brun said so himself."
"That is good," Uba was happy. Brun had said he would take on the job of Durc's training, at the child's naming ceremony, since no one else at Durc's old hearth could do it. Ayla's hunting privileges only extended as far as the sling, and Creb, the only man of the hearth, had been crippled. Uba looked at her small family: her mate and her adopted son. A sadness settled in her as she remembered her old hearth, her old family: Creb-- The Mog-ur, Iza--the medicine woman before Ayla, herself, and Durc. How sad it was that the family had disintigrated. First Iza had died of sickness and old age. Then Uba was mated to Vorn and they formed their own hearth. Then, when Broud became leader, he had taken Ayla as his second mate and, as an irrational revenge, had said her son was to live with Uba and Vorn. Only Creb was left. So it had begun, and so it ended. This was all too soon followed by Creb's death in the cave in, caused by the earthquake. Uba felt a deep, inner chill. The Mog-ur was gone. The greatest holy magician the Clan had ever known was dead... deep inside her subconcious, Uba had the sense of a downhill path from here. But... she was only a woman. What could she know of such things?
"Uba, would you tell me one of the legends?" Durc asked one afternoon, as the clan traveled on. It had been so long since anyone had told stories, even during the winters and the few celebrations.
Uba thought for a minute, then decided, "I will tell you the legend of Durc." That had been Ayla's favorite. "The Spirit of Light Dry Snow took the Spirit of Granular Snow as his mate and after a time she gave birth to a Mountain of Ice far to the north........
...........And what happened to Durc and those who left with him? It is said by some they were eaten by wolves and lions, and by some they were drowned in the great waters. Others say that when they reached the land of the Sun, he became angry because Durc and his people wanted his land. He sent a ball of fire down from the sky to devour them. They disappeared and no one ever saw them again."
Durc walked quietly for a while, just thinking. "Maybe Durc didn't die," he finally said. He turned this idea over in his mind, then nodded as if to confirm it.
Uba thought about this. The land of the Sun... it sounded to her like a good place. A place of happiness. A new thought came to Uba, then. Maybe Ayla was in a place like that. Maybe Ayla, like the legendary Durc, had traveled to the land of the Sun.
For the first time, Uba felt a sense of closure. Life would never be as it was when they lived in the great cave, but it was okay. She no longer minded the traveling on and on. She thought, Maybe this clan is meant to travel.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Something had happened over the course of time. Uba realized this as she watched the hunters coming back from one of their hunts. She noticed how, even though Broud was always at the head of the line, he never really seemed to be leading them. The same thing went for the rest of the people. Over the course of time, the clan had silently, in their minds, stopped thinking of Broud as their leader. In a subconcious sense, he had been impeached.
But the clan did not think of Brun as their leader, either. Brun had passed on some time ago, but even before that, the clan knew he was truly not their leader anymore. They hadn't even The Mog-ur to turn to. The clan was faced with the frightening, deep knowledge that they really no longer had a leader.
The Clan was on their own.