Living With Love

by Solarcite

FINISHED!! AT LAST!! okay, Melissa and Marie are two girl living in New York and are very happy on their own until they meet Spot and everything changes, and um, uh, yeah, just read it!!

"What's taking you so long, Marie? It's not that hard to just buy a newspaper, these newsies are everywhere," said Melissa impatiently. She was never one for waiting, but that was one of the reasons her sister, Marie, was so against taking her to talk to her friends. However, Melissa refused to stay at home, as she was only doing a little sister's duty. Marie never told Melissa about her friends, the newsies, giving Melissa the impression that she was going to buy a newspaper. But who would took so long to buy a paper? She never told Marie about how she knew about Marie's friend, because their aunt in Ohio was against talking to people of a lower level in society. However, Melissa was not the one to take away her sister's friends; she knew that without the newsies, Marie would be lonely. Therefore, the aunt never found out, and she never would.

"Marie, it's almost time for lunch, can we go home now?" Melissa pretended to be oblivious of Marie's friendship with the newsies, and it was a good thing she was such a good actor.

"Well, I was going to eat with, uh, some of my friends, so why don't you go home? It's not very far, you know the way, and you're old enough to travel on your own, so I'll meet you soon!" cried Marie, waving her summer hat at her sister. Then she turned around, and walked into a restaurant nearby.

"Very funny, thinking she can just ditch me to be with those newsies. She's my sister for goodness sake! The least she could do is come home for lunch. It's almost like I'm the older one, taking on all the responsibilities, and I made lunch today too, well, I make lunch everyday, but it actually tasted good today, and she didn't even think about cleaning her room. Keep it up, and Aunt Josie will come up from Ohio and send us to an orphanage! And it's gonna be all my fault! And she's gonna get herself sick again, just watch her get herself sick," Melissa rambled on her way home. She was the one who took the most responsibility for their small, but comfortable house. She cooked, cleaned, and washed, while trying to prevent Marie from getting sick again. But she was mostly worried about her aunt coming up from Ohio. Their Aunt Josie had been the one who gave them the house when they had no place to stay, and sent them money every month because they couldn't work. It was beneath her dignity to have the girls do someone else's work, and Melissa was too young.

"The least she could do was remember that today was my birthday," said finished Melissa sadly. "She didn't even think about that, it was just her friends. And she's gonna get sick, you know it's gonna happen, and there won't be anything I can do to stop it, but the blame's gonna be on me." She sighed softly before opening the door to their small apartment, and then she burst into tears. Anyone would cry if their only close relative forgot about their 16th birthday.

Still teary-eyed, Melissa went into the kitchen to set the table, and forced herself to keep hoping that Marie would come home for lunch, but she did not. And Melissa kept sobbing as she allowed herself to accept the truth, that Marie had forgotten about her birthday. Although Marie was a little absent minded at times, she had never forgotten about her sister. In fact, for the last couple of days, she had been talking about how she had to do something special for her littler sister's birthday. But Melissa knew Marie had blown her off for her newsie friends.

How long she cried there, Melissa didn't know, but she was sitting and weeping for a while before there was a knock on the door.

Her head popped up off her arms and she stood up wondering why anyone would visit her in the middle of the day. Not only that, but why anyone would visit her. She wasn't anyone special, and if there were any visitors, they would come later at night, and they would come for Marie. Marie with her beautiful brown hair that seemed to glow, and her fair complexion, every one loved Marie. There was no doubt about it that Marie had a nice attitude, and was friendly, and never had anything mean to say, but no one ever saw the Marie that Melissa knew. The Marie who was hidden under a carefree shell, the Marie who was delicate and fragile, the Marie who was weak, but put on a strong cover. Nobody ever wanted to talk to Melissa; she was just the little sister.

Wondering who could possibly visit, she got up and walked to the door, and paused to wipe the tears off her face.

"Bout time. Are ya Marie's little sis? She told me ta come take ya ta Tibby's." The person at the door was pretty short, with big blue eyes. Or were they gray? His eyes were grayish-bluish, but he was obviously one of Marie's newsies.

"Excuse me, but do I know you? And where is Tibby's? And why would Marie want me to go there?" asked Melissa, baffled.

"Well, she told me not to tell you. So I supposes you ain't gonna know till ya get dere. Oh, and I ain't introduced meself yet, have I? Me name's Spot Conlon. Of da Brooklyn Newsies," he said.

"Pleasure to meet you," replied Melissa. "Now please tell me where we're going and why."

"Well, like I sayed, I ain't gonna tell ye why, except that ye sista wants ye te be dere," he answered, slightly annoyed.

"Alright then, I suppose we can leave now," said Melissa finally. And then she left with her sister's Newsie friend.

"Are we there yet? Hey, this is where Marie said she was gonna have lunch. Is this the place?" asked Melissa anxiously.

"Can't ye wait till we get dere?" answered an annoyed Spot.

"Well, the least you can do is tell me when we are there," retorted Melissa.

"Alright, we're dere. Ye gotta close yer eyes now," Spot replied.

So, Melissa closed her eyes and let Spot take her hand and lead her into the restaurant, but she was a bit clumsy, and constantly bumped into things.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" she asked impatiently.

"No not yet. We ain't even at de door yet. So youse gotta calm down before youse hoit yeself again."

"Now are we here? Ouch! What was that?"

"Geez, dis ain't workin'. Ye keep on bumping into things. Dis might work," and with that, Spot put his arm around Melissa's waist to support her, and steered her towards their destination. All of a sudden, Melissa felt strange. Being in his arms felt so right, and she felt so at home, but she didn't even know him. Why was she thinking that way? What was wrong with her? Was she falling for him? But she didn't even know him! She thought about this over and over and was so caught up in her musing that she didn't even notice that they were inside the restaurant.

"We're dere! Ye can open yer eyes now!" yelled Spot for the third time.

"What!? Already? Okay, my eyes are open. What's so special about this place, anyway?" asked Melissa finally.

"Well, youse gotta look an' see," Spot replied smugly.

Before Melissa had a chance to reply, because suddenly, out of the booths and from under the tables, a bunch of people popped out. Not only popped out, but also jumped out and yelled, "Surprise!"

She didn't recognize them, not any of them, except for one. One girl who had beautiful brown hair that seemed to glow. And when Melissa realized who she was, she burst out crying.

"Happy Birthday, Missy!" she cried.

"Marie! I thought you forgot! I was so stupid, I should have known. But I really thought you forgot, and I didn't know, you made me so upset. And I was afraid you'd go and get sick again and on top of that, I thought you forgot about me! Oh, Marie!" Melissa cried.

"Did you honestly think I would do that to you? Oh, c'mere, you know I would never forget you!"

"I didn't know, it was your Newsie friends, and I didn't know and," and Melissa choked on her tears.

"It's alright Missy. I thought you knew me better, but it's alright, nobody's blaming you. Now let's just forget about it, and let me sing you happy birthday," Marie said, soothing her sister.

"Oh, thanks Marie! But don't sing that, sing that one song that Mother used to sing to us."

"Which one?" asked Marie.

"You know, the one she used to sing to us when we were little, the nighttime one," replied Marie.

"That one," her face became dark. "I haven't sang that since- well, not since-"

"I understand. But please do this for me! Besides, I think Mother would be happy if you started singing again," said Melissa, comforting her sister.

"Yes, your right. I can do this, just for you," finished Marie as she looked at her sister fondly.

"I could have lived a thousand lives, or I could have lived this one,

I could have told a thousand lies, but I did not tell one,

I tell you this, so you can know

How much you should have fun.

I want to make life easy for you,

But I know that can't be done,"

Marie sang loud and clear in sweet voice. Although she had not been singing in years, she had not missed a note. Her voice continued on strong and sure.

"I don't want you to feel the pain I know, when loved has left my way,

I want the thoughts of happy times, to stick in your mind, and stay,

I want all people to be nice,

To not have swears to say,

Sometimes I'd live your life for you,

But it's your life anyway,"

"I can't go on, I can't remember the rest," choked out Marie over her tears. "I forgot it. I cannot believe I forgot it, I forgot mother!" she cried, and burst into sobs.

"It's alright now. You have not forgotten her; you're just out of practice because you haven't been singing in a long time. It's okay, we're here for each other," Melissa said, her face streamed with tears as well.

"Ain't dis supposed te be a happy day? Yer not supposdah be cryin!" said Spot suddenly.

"I'm sorry, I am happy it's just that-"

"It's a sister thing," finished Marie.

"Well den, ain't we gonna celebrate?" said another Newsie.

"Well, then, lets celebrate!" cried Marie, laughing.

"Happy Birthday, Melissa!"

"Yeah, Happeh Buhddeh!"

Even though Melissa didn't know many of the newsies, it was because of their friendship with her sister that brought a new kind of happiness into their life. The newsies were unlike any other people she had ever met, and she wanted to get to know them better, especially that Spot Conlon. And get to know them she did.

Author's Note: I know the beginning was written in third person, but I thought that the story would be better expressed in first person, and being the lazy person I am, I didn't change it for the beginning, but the rest of it will be in first person. Thanks!

"I'm tired now, do you think we could go home?" I asked my sister, Marie.

"It is pretty late. Wow! I didn't even notice it was dark already. You're right, we should be leaving," she replied, "Just let me tell Spot." And then she went to find Spot and tell him that we were going home.

This had been my best birthday party ever. I didn't really have many friends, only Hope, but I saw her rarely, and it was really nice to meet some of these Newsies. But the time the party started, I was introduced to all of them. There were the Manhattan newsies, Jack Kelly, David, Racetrack, Crutchy, Mush, Kid Blink, Boots, and the whole lot of them. There were also the Brooklyn Newsies, including Spot.

There was something different about Spot. Well, of course, I knew, he was the fearless Brooklyn leader, but there was something about him that I just couldn't get. You couldn't really tell what kind of person he was. He was acting all nice and sweet around me, and once we're around the guys, he suddenly becomes tough. I couldn't tell much of a change, really, but there was something…

"Okay, let's go home now," said Marie, "You were right, it's pretty late, and we should get going now,"

"Not widdout an escoit ye ain't" Both of us whirled around to see that Spot Conlon was watching us.

"Our house is only about two minutes away, and we know the area pretty well, so thanks, but we don't really need an escort," I answered curtly.

"No goils should be out at night alone, so say whad ye want, but I'm gonna walk ye two home," said Spot in reply.

"Oh, that's really sweet of you, Spot," said Marie. "So shouldn't we get moving?" Spot and I nodded in agreement.

We said our goodbyes to the newsies, got a couple more happy birthdays, and then left. The night was cool, but not cold and it didn't bother me. I was incredibly tired out from this afternoon, but I was happy as I had never really had a birthday party. Of course, I'd celebrate with my sister, and when Mother and Father were still alive, we used to have family gatherings, but I never really had a party with my friends, because I never really had friends. But now I knew all these Newsies, and hopefully, they would become my new friends. All of them were so nice, so sincere, I couldn't imagine them not being newsies. Oh, but I was so tired! All I needed was a good rest, and I was almost home, so I would be able to sleep soon.

It just so happened that Spot was walking beside me, and I didn't realize it, but my head fell onto his shoulder, and he put his arm around my waist to support me once again. And once again, it felt so right, so comfortable, as though I could stay that way forever. I knew I couldn't, it was just impossible. What was going on with me? Was I falling for the guy? But I hardly knew him, and besides, he hardly knew me, and he certainly didn't think of me as more than Marie's little sister, just another girl walking down the street. Or was I more than that to him?

I didn't have time to ponder that too much, and before I knew it, I was home. He said goodbye to Marie, and me and then we went upstairs to our apartment, and got ready for bed.

"Did you have fun tonight, Missy?" asked my sister.

"I sure did, Marie. Thank you so much, you don't know how much this meant to me!" I cried out.

"It's okay, it was the least I could do for my little sister," she said fondly. Although she was only a year older to me, she still thought of me as a little baby. "And I couldn't have done it without the Newsies' help. Speaking of Newsies," she started, "Spot Conlon sure has his eye on you!" she said, laughing.

"You think? I don't. I think he likes you," I added.

"I wish," she said dreamily. "I hate to admit it, but I've always told you everything I've been feeling, so this is no exception. I wish Spot Conlon really did think of me as more than just a friend."

"Well, do you think of him as more than just a friend?" I asked her.

"I don't know. I honestly think I do, but I've never been in love before! And Missy, I think I'm falling for him. For Spot. I don't know how it happened, I don't, but all of a sudden I think I feel more for him than a friend," she cried. "Oh, Missy! What am I supposed to do?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. Maybe you should tell him how you feel. I guess that's the only way to let him know." Advising people in the matters of love wasn't my strong point, but this was my sister, and I had to help her.

"But what if he doesn't feel the same way about me? I really don't want to lose our friendship!"

"Well, why don't we just sleep on it for now? You know, loss of sleep, and all this worrying will make you sick again. The last thing I want is for you to be sick again, and last time, you almost died. Maybe being friends with those Newsies isn't good for you. You're getting worried depressed."

"No, I'm glad I have the Newsies, I've never really had any friends, but now I do, thanks to the Newsies. It's just that I," she stopped suddenly.

"You what?"

"I think I'm falling in love with Spot Conlon."

"We should really go to bed now, and forget about him for the night," I answered. I wanted my sister to stop worrying, I didn't want her to get hurt. She's real sensitive deep down, and if her heart was broken, it would be my fault for not warning her and taking care of her.

"I guess you're right. Goodnight Missy!"

"'Night Marie!"

"Sweet dreams!"

"You too!"

Although I said we'd forget about Spot for the night, I couldn't. I dreamed about him breaking my sister's heart, and hurting her, and then telling me he loved me, but then breaking my heart to go back to Marie. It was confusing, but tomorrow was another day, and hopefully I could get those thoughts out of my mind.

"Melissa! Are you there?"

First thing in the morning, I heard a someone shouting my name.

"Melissa, wake up already!"

That voice was awfully familiar…

"Melissa! Don't you remember me? I know you're awake!"

And then it clicked. Hope. I turned to face my window and stuck my head out to talk to her.

"Hope! It's been so long since I last got to talk to you! What's been going on?"

"Oh, a lot of stuff. Benny's got a job now, so I won't have to do that much laundry anymore!"

"Really? What is he? You've got to tell me all about it," I yelled out the window.

"Well, he's a newsie, in Brooklyn, obviously because we live there now, but isn't that great?"

"It sure is! Hey, why don't you come up so that we don't have to yell?" I asked.

"Good idea! Wonder why I never thought of that!" she added sarcastically. We both exploded in laughter before she disappeared and a knock came on the door.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm coming," I said.

"No, you're gonna keep me waiting here until the door flies open all by itself!" Once again, we both started laughing.

"It's so nice to see you again, you don't know," I started once she was inside.

"Same here. Oh, and happy birthday," she said. "Sorry I couldn't come to your party yesterday, Marie told me about it, but I couldn't come. But Benny was there."

"He was? I didn't notice him," I said, puzzled.

"Well, you wouldn't believe how much he's changed. I mean, he's a completely difference person. He even looks different."

"Maybe that's why I didn't notice him yesterday. I didn't talk much to the Brooklyn newsies."

"Oh really? So, you got to meet all the Manhattan ones. Did you meet Racetrack?" she asked.

"Of course I did. He's quite a gambler, and he was winning all the poker games yesterday," I replied.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I have a confession to make," she started importantly, but seemed shy about it.

"You like him, don't you?" I asked laughing. She nodded meekly.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Of course not! Your secret's safe with me- Oh Marie must be home," I said as I heard knocking on the door. "Hold on, I'm coming," I yelled while I walked to the door. "Geez Marie, you should really start keeping your own key with you, I'm not always gonna be-" I stopped short because when I opened the door, it wasn't Marie on the other side, it was Spot Conlon.

"Oh, uh, hello Spot. Sorry bout that, I thought Marie would be home by now. What brings you here?" I asked.

"Oh, so she ain't here?" he said quickly.

"No," I replied, "she went out to buy a newspaper, so she says. But it really means that she's going out to meet up with you guys."

"I ain't seen 'er," he skeptically.

"What? Then where is she?" I asked frantically. If she had gotten herself hurt, it would have been my fault for not watching out for her.

"Melissa? Is everything alright?" Hope's voice came through.

"Spot, c'mon in," I said, "Let me introduce you to my friend here, and then we'll look for Marie together." So, he came in and walked back to the room where Hope was waiting.

"Hope, this is Spot Conlon, a friend of mine and Marie's. Your brother should know him," I said.

"So you're the famous Spot. Benny's said a lot about you, about all those poor people you soaked," she laughed, "But it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same te yeh. Yer Bruddah says a lotta bout youse," replied Spot.

"Now that you two know each other, we have to look for Marie," I started.

"What? She's missing? Now? Where is she?" asked Hope, her eyes wide open in worry.

"I'm sure she isn't missing, she's never just ran off anywhere, and I doubt anyone would kidnap her," I said.

"How are you so sure?" asked Hope.

"I just have this weird feeling that she's safe, but Spot hasn't seen her anywhere," I replied. Just then, I noticed that Spot had been unusually quiet.

"Spot, are you feeling alright?" I asked.

"I'm jist fine, but ise worried bout yer sista," he answered. "Dis ain't like 'er to jist run off widdout tellin' nobody."

"Exactly. That's why we're searching for her, remember? Look," I started, "I know I'm not your best friend or anything, but I can tell when people are hiding things. What are you hiding? And don't tell me it has nothing to do with Marie, because I know it has."

"Yer right, but I can't tell ya now. Not today," he said slowly.

"Well, if not today, then maybe tomorrow, but we've got to find out where she is, before she gets hurt or something, and what if she gets sick? I don't want to loose her, she's my only relative, and besides, who am I supposed to look after? This isn't good, this isn't good-"

"Melissa!," said Hope interrupting my rambling, "We're supposed to be looking for her, not scaring ourselves out of our wits."

"You're right, I really gotta get my act together. Spot, you can go with Hope back to the Brooklyn lodging house. Yes, I know it's a little far," I started, eyeing Hope's expression, "But you two will make it. I'm gonna go to Tibby's and see if anyone has seen her today." Spot's face fell slightly, but I didn't make much of it.

And with that, we separated, Hope and Spot in one direction and me in the other. I couldn't help noticing how big Spot's eyes became when he was worried. Those big eyes that seem to read you, seem to make you want to melt. What was going on with me? Why was I thinking like this? I wasn't the one who liked him, Marie was the one who was falling for him. This wasn't good.

I walked around thoughtlessly, trying to think where Marie was. Why would she leave me like this? This wasn't like Marie to just disappear off into nowhere, and she certainly wouldn't do that without telling me, or even Spot! But then I started thinking, wasn't Spot from Brooklyn? Yes, how could I forget that? If Spot was from Brooklyn, then that must mean that he really cared for Marie, because Brooklyn was farther away than I anticipated. So, that must mean that Spot did like her, so Marie had nothing to worry about! When I realized it, I jumped for joy, but then remembered that we still hadn't found Marie. In fact, I hadn't even been looking for her! So I walked to Tibby's, even though I wasn't quiet sure where it was. Oh well, I knew what street it was on, but the last time I had gone there, I had my eyes closed. Luckily, I found it without any trouble. Scanning the windows, I didn't see any sign of Marie there, but I did see Racetrack and Jack Kelly. I thought it would help if I asked them if they'd seen her.

I entered the restaurant quickly and I didn't notice that I was being followed.

"Hi Race, hi Jack!" I started pleasantly as I waking in.

"How ya doin, Melissa?" answered Race just as cheerfully, but I noticed that he seemed to be holding back something.

"I'm just fine, but I'm trying to find Marie," I started," Do you two have any idea where she is?" Race and Jack exchanged dark looks, as I wondered what might have been going on.

"She was 'ere, but she left," said Jack. That's it, he was hiding something, and it was up to me to find out what he was hiding. IT was obviously about Marie, everything was about Marie today, and everybody was hiding something about her. Why wasn't anyone telling me anything? Even Marie wasn't telling me anything today! And Marie had always trusted me, so what happened now? My face fell as I answered.

"Well, if she comes back, or if you know where she is," I shot them a dirty look, "Please tell me or Spot or Hope. We're all looking for her, and we can't find her anywhere. So if you could please help us, please do."

"Hope? How's she get in dis mess?" asked Race suddenly.

"What do you mean, how did she get in this mess? She's my closest friend, and she' also friends with Marie, so of course she's going to look for her! But unfortunately, none of us have had any luck, so I'd really appreciate it if you could help," I said expectantly.

"I'se givin' up!" said Jack finally. "Marie sayed dat she needed to talk. And she did. But we ain't tellin' what was botherin' 'er, except dat ye might want te talk te her yerself."

"Is that all? What's wrong with her today? More than that, what did I do to her? She's always trusted me, and I've always trusted her," I cried. This time, I was sincere.

"Oh, have ye? Sounds te me like yer keepin' somethin' secret, and yer sista needs te know," said Race.

"Well, I have been keeping a secret, but it isn't about Marie," I snapped.

"Den whose it about?" Geez, Newsies could sure be nosy sometimes.

"Well, should I tell you two? I'll give away a little bit," I started. Then I turned to face Racetrack. "It's about you, Race. You and-" I got cut off.

"ME! I ain't done nothin'!" he cried. I couldn't help it, I started to crack up.

"Don't worry, don't worry," I said, "It's not anything you've done wrong, it's just that somebody likes you!" I paused to laugh. Then I regained myself and continued, "The sad part is that this somebody lives in Brooklyn, where her brother is a Newsie, and she came to Manhattan to visit me today, but I think she had intentions of visiting you!" I lost control again, I laughed and couldn't stop.

"Who, who, who? Wha' goil lives in Brooklyn? Wha' goil is dis?" Race was thinking furiously trying to figure out whom I was talking about. Suddenly, Jack joined in the laughing.

"Ah, c'mon Race! How many goils do ye knows dat live in Brooklyn?" He asked. "It ain't dat hard Race."

"I don' know any goils dat live in Brooklyn!" said Race, who was positively going crazy.

"Don' ye know any goils from Brooklyn? I'se think ye do," stated Jack mischievously.

"I'se given up! Who?" cried Racetrack finally.

"I can' believe youse not knowin' dis, Race. Ye only know one goil from Brooklyn. Dat one goil is Hope." My, what a face he made then! He was shocked, but in a way, he was please but tried to hide it.

"Is something wrong?" I asked Racetrack nicely. "That's an awfully strange face you're making there!" Meanwhile, Jack was doubled over in laughter. He sure was enjoying the teasing.

"Ain't ye hoid? Race heah's got his eye on Hope!"

"Race, you like Hope?" I asked incredulously. Well, this would work out just dandy.

"Ye won' tell 'er, will ye?"

"Okay fine, I won't tell her," I promised. "But back to business. About Marie, where is she? And why is she so upset?"

"Okay, I suppose ye ain't givin' up. Marie, well, she's fallin' for Spot Conlon. Ye know, of Brooklyn," started Race.

"Yes, I know. She told me that last night. But what's that got to do with me?"

"Ye ain't hoid the half of it," chipped in Jack. "Dat's all very nice, but yer sista don' think dat Spot likes her."

"But he does!" I cried out suddenly. They both raised an eyebrow at me.

"How can ye be so sure?"

"Well, think of it this way: Spot lives in Brooklyn, which is actually pretty far from Manhattan. He really shouldn't be coming here unless he has a good reason. Visiting you guys is a very good reason indeed to come to Manhattan everyday. My logic is that Spot comes up everyday to see Marie, which he does. But why would he go this whole distance to see her if he didn't like her?" I said.

"Dat's the trouble. Wha' if Spot's not comin' heah fer Marie? Wha' if he's heah fer youse?"

"But he's not!" I objected. But what if he was? That couldn't be happening! Marie loved him, and as far as I knew, he was supposed to love her. But how did I get myself into this whole mess?

"Ye should be talkin' te Marie bout dat. Ye can find 'er at de lodgin' house," said Racetrack.

"Thanks for your help, both of you. I'm gonna go talk to Marie now," I finished and left them to their business.

"Missy! Missy!" called Hope. "We found her!"

"Yes, I know. I hope she is okay. Did Spot tell you about what was going on between them?" I said as Hope and I met up that evening. Spot had gone off somewhere, I can't recall where.

"Naw, he didn't tell me nothing. But I read the signs. Spot is falling for Marie, and he doesn't think she likes him. But as to why she ran away, I have no idea."

"She just had to talk to somebody, besides me. You see all these people are messed up. Marie in obviously in love with Spot, and everyone except Spot knows it. But here's the strange thing," I started, adding in what I heard from Jack Kelly and Racetrack. "They think that Spot is in love with me, but that can't be possible if he's after Marie!"

"Can't these people just tell each other how they feel? Wouldn't that make life easier for everybody?" asked Hope. "And I have one question for you, Missy. Do you love Spot? Tell me this honestly, you know you can trust me."

"I have to admit," I began confessing, "I have a feeling that I'm falling for him. But I'm not sure. Even if I did, I wouldn't be open about it, because it's obvious that Spot loves Marie and Marie loves Spot. I'm not getting in between those two. And Marie is my SISTER! I know her better than any of you, and I know that she can become dangerously sick if she is emotionally upset. Remember last time, Hope? She almost died, I don't want to lose my sister," I finished. I wanted to break down in tears, but I couldn't. I wasn't going to cry, not now, not here.

"I see. You people are more complicated then I thought," said Hope sadly. "I can understand what you're feeling, but shouldn't you think about your own happiness?"

"How happy can I be if I have no family? Tell me that. If Spot loved me, then Marie would be upset, and she can't last much longer than she did before. Hope, Marie isn't as strong as she seems. What am I supposed to do? Choose between Spot and Marie?" I said vehemently. "It would be better for everyone, including myself, if I just put myself out of the picture."

"Missy, you're so stubborn. You're always thinking about other people before yourself. You're gonna hurt yourself one day, and you know it," answered Hope.

"What's going to be worse? Just me getting hurt, or Spot and Marie getting hurt? You know I'll be fine, even if I am hurt, you know that it's not going to be a big deal," I cried. And now I did break down into tears. So maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. But I would survive. No one could stop me from surviving.

"I don't know, Missy. I honestly don't know what should be done here. I just want you to know that whatever happens, I'll always be there for you. You've always been my best friend, and you always will be. And I'll always be there to cheer you on, or to console you. Just remember that," said Hope soothingly. I knew that she was my true friend, I always knew that, but it was at times like these when I really needed her.

"Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for just being here for me. It seems that the only couple that's normal is you and Race."

"Me and Race? What do you mean? We're not a couple!" said Hope suddenly. "Sure, I like him, but does he like me? I don't know that!!"

"But I do!" I said mischievously. One of my flaws was my mood swing, and I was distracted very easily. So, I was suddenly happy for Hope and forgot all my own troubles.

"You do? How'd you find out?"

"Well, you're not supposed to know…"

"Tell me! Tell me! You've got to tell me! I told you, didn't I?" demanded Hope desperately.

"If you insist. Racetrack's good friend, Cowboy spilled the beans on him this morning," I said happily.

"How did it come up? You didn't tell him…" she said suspiciously.

"I didn't. but I did lead them on," I admitted. "And Racetrack wasn't guessing right, so Jack sorta told him."

"Oh, I'm gonna getcha for this!"

"Ouch, I'm so scared!" I said in a light-hearted voice. "Catch me if you can!" Then I ran off. Hope chased me up the street, and it was fun. I hadn't done anything like that in years, and I was missing the joy of simply running and playing. But I didn't watch where I was going, because the next thing I knew, I bumped into a blonde newsie with an eye patch. Kid Blink.

"Youse Melissa? Wese been lookin' all ovah fer ya!" he said seriously. Once again, my mood swing kicked in, and I was no longer light-hearted.

"What happened? It isn't Marie, is it?" I whispered. He nodded his head yes. "OH no! What happened now? What's wrong with her?"

"She's in de hoispital. Deys say dat she's very sick. Dat she ain't gonna make it," he announced sadly.

"No, that can't be, that can't be!" I thought aloud. Once again, he nodded his head silently. "HOPE!" I screamed. If there was any time when I needed her support, it was now. Instantaneously, she was there.

"Blink," I asked, "Can you take us there? I need to talk to her." Nod. And he walked the two of us to the hospital.

I looked in the window at the white sheets, and at my pale sister. My worst fears had been confirmed. He was thinking about me, not her. People were concerned about my happiness, not hers. I told Hope that if Marie was sick, it would be all my fault. What could have happened? Did Spot not love her? But I had been so sure that he loved her, he couldn't have not loved her. A nurse in a white uniform came up to me and told me quietly that I could go inside. So I did.

She looked worse up close, like the porcelain doll she was inside. It was like the strong self she would hide under was stripped away, revealing how weak she could be.

"Missy?" came her soft voice.

"I'm here, Marie. I'm here now, no need to worry," I soothed.

"Missy, I'm not going to last long. I need to tell you this before I go," she whispered. I hated the way she struggled with her words, because I knew she was speaking the truth. But I didn't want to believe it.

"No, you will get better, and we'll go home, and there will be a package from Aunt Josie with money. Everything will go back to normal. You are going to be fine," I said, more to myself than to Marie.

"I wish it was that way. But it's not. I need to tell you something," she whispered. "I need to confess my last wish to you. Can you make my last wish come true?"

"I- can- try," I said as I choked back the tears. She was leaving me, for good, and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"I know you will. I've always trusted you, you were my little sister, and I've never confided in anyone as I have in you," she began. Her breath grew shallow. "So this is what I want you to do. You see Missy, I have fallen in love," she paused for breath, and I grew more afraid every minute, knowing my nightmares were becoming a reality. "I have fallen in love, with someone who loves someone else! And I know that I have only been a burden to the person I love, because he cannot love who he wants because of me."

"That's not true," I cried, "That's not true at all!"

"Listen to me," said Marie urgently, "I don't have much time. But will you make sure, that once I'm gone, the someone he loves will love him back?" tears trickled down her white cheeks. "Please promise me this!"

"I will, Marie. I will do this for you, and just for you," I cried. A tear dropped onto her sheets. I was crying again. The nurse pulled me out of the room, and told me that my turn was over. As I went back into the lobby, I turned to sit down and grieve when I found myself face-to-face with Spot Conlon.

"Can I talk te ye?" he asked gravely.

"I suppose so," I answered. He took my hand and led me outside into the warm summer night. The sky was dotted with stars that were barely visible through the pollution.

"Marie told me te do sumthin' fer her," he started.

"And that is?" I asked.

"I don' know how te say dis, but, Melissa?"

"What?!" I said angrily, and then seeing his hurt face, I apologized quickly. "I'm sorry, it's just that people have been talking to slowly lately, it makes the pain worse."

"Ise understand. But, Melissa, I love ye," he said suddenly.

"It was YOU!" I broke out. "It was YOU who she loved, and you loved somebody else! It was bad enough that you broke her heart because you had given your heart to someone else, but now to find out that it's ME!" I thundered. "Do you know how it feels to know you're the cause of someone's death? Do you know how it feels to have someone you love give up what they love just for you? Do you know the pain? The suffering? The torture I'm going through because Marie is sick? Do you know how AGONIZING it is to know that I'm the cause of it!" I screamed.

"But-"

"Obviously you don't. You didn't love her, you said you did, but you didn't. You hurt her more than you'll ever know. And in hurting her, you hurt me more than you'll ever know."

"Do ye love me?" he asked suddenly.

"WHAT?!"

"do ye love me or not? She wanted me to ask you, and to tell her. Then she said that she wanted the one I loved to truly love me back." (Author's note: Sorry if I completely forgot about the accent here, I was too lazy to type it out! I hope ya'll will forgive me! ^_^)

"If I didn't love you, I would say that I was undecided, because I have my reasons. If I was undecided, then I would say so, because that would be the truth. But If I honestly did love you," I paused, and then continued softly, "I would say that I was undecided because I didn't want to loose a sister who meant so much to me. But I think I've already lost her," I finished. I walked away, back into the hospital, leaving Spot there to think about what I had just said.

I didn't go back to him. As much as I wanted to, I didn't go back to Spot. Something happened after Marie died, and yes indeed, she did die, but apparently she had done it to herself. But after her death, I didn't want anything to do with them, the newsies, especially Spot. Sure, I made myself some good friends, but what good were they if I couldn't talk to them? And I couldn't talk to them.

While I was waiting in the hospital shortly after Marie died, I realized, that I didn't want anything to do with him. That maybe I really might have loved Spot, but it was too soon to tell. I had rushed into it, and now my sister was dead. I thought of this over and over again, but it did not help me feel better. Or did it? I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"Missy? Are ye alright?" Hope's comforting voice found it's way through my thoughts.

"Yes, I'm alright. Just fine," I said sarcastically. "My sister just died, but I'm not mourning, I'm just dandy!" Hope looked at me with an injured expression on her face. It was obvious that she simply wanted to help me, but I was too closed off. My notorious mood swings had kicked in again, so I just didn't want to talk to anybody at the moment.

"You know it wasn't your fault, Missy," said Hope soothingly.

"If it wasn't mine, then it was Spot's. If only I had never met him!" I replied shortly. It was true. If I had never met Spot, none of this would have ever happened.

"Look, it wasn't any of your faults! What happened, happened, and it couldn't have been prevented. You've just got to learn to live with it, and with love. Because there's nothing you can do by just moping, and killing yourself over it!" Hope paused to take a breath. "You know why she died, Missy?"

I shook my head yes. We all knew why she died.

"Well, it's not the reason you think it is. You know what the doctor found in her bag?"

This time, I shook my head no. Hope held up a little translucent bottle. But the bottle was almost empty, and there were only a few unknown shapes at the bottom.

"Do you know what these are, Missy? Cyanide! Do you know what that is? Do you know how it affected Marie? Because the doctors sure do! The cyanide is what killed her, Missy. Not you, not Spot, but cyanide."

"B-but w-what is c-cyanide?" I stuttered, for annoyed as I was, I had never seen Hope as vehement as this.

"Cyanide! Don't you know? It's a poison," she said, softening up, "and it is deadly. In here," she motioned to the bottle, "are cyanide pills. One or two are enough to kill a person. I don't know where she got them, but the point is, she got them. And she took them. And she brought it upon herself."

"But why would she do that? She was my sister!" I cried.

"She must have been depressed, or something," explained Hope. "Look Missy, it wasn't your fault. It was her choice to do it. It was her decision, and there's nothing we can do about it. We don't even know why she did it, now that she's gone," Hope said sadly. Suddenly, she looked down, but I knew her eyes were filled with tears. Soon, mine were too.

"Hope, you're the best friend I've ever had," I cried, as hugged her.

As I said earlier, I left Spot. Hope had made me feel better, and told me the truth, but I had to leave Spot. Don't ask me why, I just had to. So I did. I moved down to Ohio with aunt Josie who used to send us money every month. I didn't tell her about why Marie died, she assumed it was New York, and was all too eager to have me in ohio. "Tat dreadful New York air, it never does a lady good!" she would exclaim, and I'd agree whole-heartedly. Or so she thought. But I knew my own reasons for leaving.

I was afraid to be living with love.