Story two of the innapropriate name series- Engelbert Humperdink
Aeris-Hi darling.
Cloud-p--s off Aeris, I'm going out with Tifa.
Aeris (to Tifa)-He likes me Tifa! He's going to dump you soon!
Tifa- Wha-wha-WHAT!?
1 year later...
Aeris-Hi sweety.
Cloud-p--s off Aeris, I'm still seeing Tifa.
Aeris-Rats. (She is suddenly attacked by a troupe of rabid Chu-Chus.)
In hospital...
Aeris- (With wings and a halo) Tifa, it's so nice of you to come and see me here. My back hurts
quite a bit right now. Doh the pain! Doh the pain!
Tifa- Actually, Ijust wanted to borrow your new dress. Cloud's having a party tonight, and I want
to borrow it.
Aeris- (sprouting horns and a tail) Fine, you just go and have fun at his party then, you two gil
ho!
Tifa- Okay. (leaves.
At the villa,
Cloud- Party at my house tonight everyone, and you're all invited! Except for you Sephiroth, for
you are an evil b-----d
Sephiroth- Curses! (To himself) I know! I'll blow them all up with this atomic bomb! (Produces an
atomic bomb from inside his cloak, sets it, sniggers and leaves.)
Night falls ten seconds later.
Cloud- Alrighty then, let's get started!
Yuffie- (on the Playstation) Like, just like, one minute,like, or something.
Tifa- Wow, that video game character is cute! Can I have his number?
Cloud- Hurry up Yuffie! We're off to the Gold Saucer for jolly good fun with lashings of ginger
beer.
Yuffie- Just like, a few more like, days. Gawd!
Cloud- (sighs) just catch up, okay?
Yuffie- Like, totally. Whatever. GAWD!
Cloud- Right.
2 miles away...
Sephy- I shall now blow them up. (presses detonator)
Detonator- KABOOM!!!!
Sephiroth- Yes, yes I did it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
Cloud, followed by everyone-Hi Sephy.
Sephiroth- Ack! You're alive!!!
Cloud- You blew up my house, b---h! And Yuffie was still in there!
Sephiroth- She was? Yes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!
(a large, Yuffie shaped shadow appears.)
Cloud- Oh my god...
Tifa- You genetically mutated Yuffie with the radiation from the
atomic bomb, turning her into Mecca Yuffie again!
Vincent-...
Cid- You b-----d! More soup please.
Yuffie- (picks up sephiroth, and is about to rip his head off when-)
Aeris- (flies up to Yuffie's head, winged again) Spare his life! Sephiroth has obviously learned
his lesson! You won't be able to sleep at night, for his screams will forver torment you!
Sephiroth-Oh p--s off halo head, what the hell do you know?
Aeris-(sprouting horns and a tail) That's it, kill him!
Yuffie-(rips off Sephiroth's head)
World- Haroo!
Cid- More soup, ya $%^&in' ^&**headed pieces a &^$^in %^&*!!!!!
Red- Oh for god's sake! (Gives Cid a mug of soup with a straw)
Everyone else- (Stand mouth agape because Red actually took part in the fic when he usually says
less than Vincent because of lazy writers who can't be bothered to write lines for him even if he
is the third best character behind Sephiroth and Yuffie who are so damn cool because of their
lack of morals you're rambling again Crunchie slap
Well, that's it!
Aeris-Hi darling.
Cloud-p--s off Aeris, I'm going out with Tifa.
Aeris (to Tifa)-He likes me Tifa! He's going to dump you soon!
Tifa- Wha-wha-WHAT!?
1 year later...
Aeris-Hi sweety.
Cloud-p--s off Aeris, I'm still seeing Tifa.
Aeris-Rats. (She is suddenly attacked by a troupe of rabid Chu-Chus.)
In hospital...
Aeris- (With wings and a halo) Tifa, it's so nice of you to come and see me here. My back hurts
quite a bit right now. Doh the pain! Doh the pain!
Tifa- Actually, Ijust wanted to borrow your new dress. Cloud's having a party tonight, and I want
to borrow it.
Aeris- (sprouting horns and a tail) Fine, you just go and have fun at his party then, you two gil
ho!
Tifa- Okay. (leaves.
At the villa,
Cloud- Party at my house tonight everyone, and you're all invited! Except for you Sephiroth, for
you are an evil b-----d
Sephiroth- Curses! (To himself) I know! I'll blow them all up with this atomic bomb! (Produces an
atomic bomb from inside his cloak, sets it, sniggers and leaves.)
Night falls ten seconds later.
Cloud- Alrighty then, let's get started!
Yuffie- (on the Playstation) Like, just like, one minute,like, or something.
Tifa- Wow, that video game character is cute! Can I have his number?
Cloud- Hurry up Yuffie! We're off to the Gold Saucer for jolly good fun with lashings of ginger
beer.
Yuffie- Just like, a few more like, days. Gawd!
Cloud- (sighs) just catch up, okay?
Yuffie- Like, totally. Whatever. GAWD!
Cloud- Right.
2 miles away...
Sephy- I shall now blow them up. (presses detonator)
Detonator- KABOOM!!!!
Sephiroth- Yes, yes I did it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
Cloud, followed by everyone-Hi Sephy.
Sephiroth- Ack! You're alive!!!
Cloud- You blew up my house, b---h! And Yuffie was still in there!
Sephiroth- She was? Yes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!
(a large, Yuffie shaped shadow appears.)
Cloud- Oh my god...
Tifa- You genetically mutated Yuffie with the radiation from the
atomic bomb, turning her into Mecca Yuffie again!
Vincent-...
Cid- You b-----d! More soup please.
Yuffie- (picks up sephiroth, and is about to rip his head off when-)
Aeris- (flies up to Yuffie's head, winged again) Spare his life! Sephiroth has obviously learned
his lesson! You won't be able to sleep at night, for his screams will forver torment you!
Sephiroth-Oh p--s off halo head, what the hell do you know?
Aeris-(sprouting horns and a tail) That's it, kill him!
Yuffie-(rips off Sephiroth's head)
World- Haroo!
Cid- More soup, ya $%^&in' ^&**headed pieces a &^$^in %^&*!!!!!
Red- Oh for god's sake! (Gives Cid a mug of soup with a straw)
Everyone else- (Stand mouth agape because Red actually took part in the fic when he usually says
less than Vincent because of lazy writers who can't be bothered to write lines for him even if he
is the third best character behind Sephiroth and Yuffie who are so damn cool because of their
lack of morals you're rambling again Crunchie slap
Well, that's it!