Life, the Universe, and...Ice Cream?


It was going to be a slow day at the ice cream parlor, which was perfectly fine with Yugure. It was the panicky, insane, 20-people-standing-in-line-at-once days that you had to watch out for. But today wasn't going to be like that, was it?

Hinode burst through the door. "Hi, Yugy! I heard you were working today and I thought you might be bored!"

Yugure twitched. "Since when did you start calling me..Yugy?"

"Um, uh...well-I brought some of your friends over! Come in, guys!"

Lina, Amelia, Zel, Gourry, Filia, and Xellos walked into the ice cream store.

"Surprise, Miss Yugure!" Amelia shouted.

"Hi..." Yugure said, smiling. This can't be happening..."So, what kind of ice cream would you like?"

"Do you have Chocolate-dipped Pineapple?" Hinode asked.

"Uh...no."

"Oh. Then I'll have Blue Moon."

"Noooo!" Yugure screamed. "You can't have my Blue Moon! It's all mine! I am Sailor Haagen-Daaz, and I will punish you on behalf of Blue Moon!"

"Eep...can I just have Cookie-dough then?" Hinode asked quietly.

"Sure!" Yugure said, smiling. (It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for...)

Lina looked at the menu above the counter carefully before ordering.

"Are you...going to order anything?" Yugure asked politely.

"QUIET! This is food! You can't rush a decision about something this important!" Lina answered. Yugure sweatdropped. Lina considered her choices for a few more minutes, then announced her decision.

"I'll have one of everything!" she said. Yugure facefaulted.

"You spent all that time staring at the menu, and you're going to get everything?"

"Well, like I said, you can't rush a decision like this!"

Amelia's turn was next. "I'll have Mint Chocolate Chip, please."

"Oh, no, it looks like we're all out," Yugure said.

"What? How unjust! I will find the thief who stole the last of my favorite ice cream! I can't forgive such a crime against mint-chocolate-chip lovers everywhere! No one shall escape the wrath of my hammer of justice! I will-"

"I hate to interrupt," Yugure interrupted, "but Lina got the last of the Mint Chocolate Chip. It wasn't stolen."

"Oh." Amelia said. "Well, I guess I can't punish Miss Lina with the Hammer of Justice. I'll have chocolate."

Fortunately for Yugure, her next customer was saner. In fact, Yugure was downright happy to see him.

"Zelgadis! You should come around here more often. Like, every day."

"I'm kind of with them," he said, pointing towards Hinode and the others. "Would you really want all of them here everyday?"

"I see your point..." Yugure said.

"I'll just have coffee," Zel said.

"Um, this is an ice cream parlor-we don't have coffee. Sorry."

"Well, what about coffee-flavored ice cream?"

"Sure, we have some mocha--oh, no, someone from the villain cafe bought it all for mocha iotas--"

Zel collapsed. "Nooo...coffeeee...must have...coffee..." Yugure blinked.

"He seems to be going through coffee withdrawal," Xellos remarked.

"Poor Zelgadis," Filia said. "I told him, he should drink tea. But nooo...he HAD to have coffee." She sighed. "But I WILL convert my true love to tea!"

Yugure gave Filia an odd look. "Zelgadis is NOT your true love! He's Lina's true love! Lina and Zel forever! Lina and Zel! Lina and Zel!"

Amelia overheard their conversation. "How unjust of you to say that! Everyone knows that Mr. Zelgadis is MY true love! Miss Filia, Miss Yugure, I have to punish you with the Hammer of Justice!"

"Well, I'll punish you with my, uh, big spiky heavy painful mace!"

Zelgadis was sitting in a shadowy corner, watching the whole thing with a sweatdrop and mild amusement.

"Hey, no fighting inside! Do you know how much trouble I'll get in if you two destroy the ice cream parlor while I'm supposed to be in charge?!?!" Yugure shouted.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," Amelia said, and went to her seat to finish her ice cream.

"So, Filia, let me guess-you want tea-flavored ice cream, right?" Yugure asked.

"No, that would be silly!" Filia said. "I'll have strawberry."

Gourry stared at the rows of ice cream in fascination. "Wow...there's so many of them!"

"So which one do you want?" Yugure asked.

"What's that one?" he asked, pointing at a container of ice cream.

"Mackinaw Island Fudge," Yugure answered.

"That sounds good...but that other one looks good, too...what's that called?"

"Blue Moon."

"Oooohh...what about that?"

"Superman." Yugure's eye started twitching.

"And this one?"

"Chocolate-chip cookie dough." A vein started pulsing on Yugure's forehead.

"What was that first one again?"

"Mackinaw Island Fudge. Is that what you want?!?"

"No, I just forgot what you said it was. I want that one," he said, pointing to the Superman ice cream. Yugure scooped some into a cone before Gourry could change his mind again.

"Please, tell me you know what you want?" she said to Xellos.

"That...is a-"

"Say it's a secret and the Parrots of Doom will get you," Yugure said.

"The Parrots of Doom can't hurt me, I don't believe in them."

"Oh yeah? Well, what about..." Yugure paused dramatically.

"It's a secret, it's a secret, it's a-" Xellos chanted.

"...the Unicorn!!!!" Yugure held up a large stuffed unicorn.

"What exactly is that supposed to do?" Xellos asked

. "This," Yugure said. She closed her eyes, set the unicorn on top of her head, and began chanting "Be one with the unicorn. Be one with the unicorn."

"Does this mean I don't get any ice cream?"

**************************


The Fanfiction.net Review spiel:

Hinode: Wasn't that fun?

Yugure: If you EVER bring them in there again when I'm working, I'll write you into a fanfic being eaten alive by your Parrots of Doom!

Hinode: Don't worry, next week I'm bringing in the cast of Utena. I'll ask them not to duel inside, though.

Yugure: -_-;;;

Hinode: Well, anyway, I hope you liked the story! Please review!

Zel: And please get me some coffee!

Filia: No! Tea!

Hinode: No! REVIEWS!!