AN INTERVIEW WITH LEE JORDAN

Well, here it is! The Hermione Granger Fan Club has chased up
an exclusive interview with the provider of everyone's favourite
one-sided, foulmouthed, loud and hilariously funny Quidditch
commentary- Lee Jordan!

THGFC- The Hermione Granger Fan Club
LJ- Lee Jordan

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THGFC: "Hi, Lee. It's a pleasure to have you with us today."

LJ: "Holy !@#$ ! What the %^&* am I doing here? I am so _+:?ed
off, I-"

THGFC: "Uh, Lee?"

LJ: "How !@#$ing- what?"

THGFC: "Could you try and tone down the language? I'm not going to
be crazy if the rating goes above PG 13."

LJ: "Sorry. When I get hyper, I start swearing."

THGFC: "We've noticed. Listen, who do you admire most?"

LJ: "Well, I USED to admire Ludo Bagman, but when he didn't pay up
to my dad, I couldn't have a new racing broom, so now the dude is
officially a !@#$%^&*."

THGFC: "But Lee, you don't play."

LJ: "It's the principle of the thing! Anyhow, now I guess the ones I
admire most are my best friends, Fred and George Weasley."

THGFC: "Awww, sweet! Do you have a girlfriend, Lee?"

LJ: "I'm keeping my options open to all those cute chicks who are dying
to go out with me. So, no, I don't have a girlfriend."

THGFC: "What are you going to be when you leave school?"

LJ: "A professional Quiditch commentator. Man, that's gonna be sweet!
I'll get to commentate without McGonagall breathing down my neck."

THGFC: "What kind of music do you listen to, Lee?"

LJ: "Eminem! And Craig David. And the Weird Sisters."

THGFC: "Yeah, from what I've heard of the Weird Sisters, they're pretty
popular."

LJ: "Damn right!"

THGFC: "What's your favourite song?"

LJ: " 'Don't Banish Me' by the Weird Sisters."

THGFC: "Could you sing a couple of bars?"

LJ: "No way, man!"

THGFC: "How would you say you look?"

LJ: "Like a younger version of Craig David."

THGFC: "What are three words that describe you?"

LJ: "Funny. Easygoing, Dead cool."

THGFC: "That's four words, prat!"

LJ: "Funny, easygoing and cool, then."

THGFC: "That's better. Got any advice for budding pranksters and/or
Quiditch commentators?"

LJ: "Be cool. Way cool. And get your own image, dude. Don't be a
tryhard."

THGFC: "Thanks, Lee. It's been great chatting with you."

LJ: "It's been !@#$ing great talking with you."

THGFC: "Lee!"

LJ: "Sorry. See ya!"

***

Watch out for more interviews and, mostly, fics by the
Hermione Granger Fan Club. R/R, and please go easy on me. Ciao!