Title: Numerous Regrets - Second story in the 'Things Change, People
Change' series
Author: Kendra
Rating: R, bad language
Spoilers: All, I guess
Category: Michael POV
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I wish I did. The WB and Jason Katims
own everything Roswell related.
Distribution: Please email Kendra before placing it on your site.
Thanks. Unauthorized archiving/posting of this fan fiction is strictly
prohibited. Please ask first. Thank you.
Dedication: My friends at the Site Fights, and my Mom.
Wrote: March 11th,2000.
Feedback: Is what keeps this story flowing. Please don't flame me,
or tell me my writing sucks. I'll take suggestions on how to make it better,
but please don't hurt my feelings.
Beta-Readers: Christianne
Author's Notes: This takes place twenty years in the future.
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(AN: Michael POV)
Everyday, my life is horrible. I've been searching for answers for almost fifteen years, and nothing. How can I not find anything? I left Maria behind, and I find nothing? I have no good income, job, anything. My life is a bunch of bullshit. Yes, I said bullshit. I've been around the whole USA, and nothing.
I've worked every odd job you can imagine. One time I was even offered a job as a male escort, but I quickly turned that down. I used to think about Maria every minute of everyday, after I left. I thought I would get over her, but I never have. I see her perfect face everyday in my mind. I've seen some novels she wrote, who would have thought she'd become a novelist. My Maria, a novelist. Damnit, she's not mine.
I saw an interview she had given once. I think it was about two years ago. To my disbelief, she had married Alex Whitman. That shocked the hell out of me. She had gotten married, and left me behind in her past. I was no longer a part of her. Alex is a good guy, so if she had to end up with anyone, I'm glad she ended up with him.
Her oldest child, looked oddly familiar. It's weird because I can sort of see some of myself in her, and I know that can't be. The interviewer said that those were her children with Alex, but still, she could have been mine. Maybe she is. I mean, if the child, Gabrielle, is that age, that means Maria had to be involved with Alex, while I was still with her. That can't be. Why'd she become so close to Alex after I left? I'm so confused, and regretful.
My life could have been something, I could have been something. Now, look at me. I'm a washed up piece of fucken shit. That is what I am. I left my Maria behind. I didn't say good bye to her, because if I did, I would have never been able to let her go, and I had to let her go. I could have never been a good husband to her if I was still looking for my damn answers. It consumed my life. I didn't even tell Max or Is I was leaving because they would have told me to stay, and I probably would have. I just had to leave. I had to leave my life, my love, and the only family I had, behind.
I'm going to change things. I want to make amends with Maria someday, and I will. I know she won't ever love me again, but I hope she'll forgive me. That's all I want from her, Max, and Is, is forgiveness. Is that too much to ask? Someday, I'm going to go back and ask forgiveness, I just don't know when. But, someday I will.
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The End - Next Story: Living the High Life