Not a Good Week To Be William Regal
(An episode of RAW the week after Wrestlemania. It starts out as a Regal Narrative, but then to a backstage thing on RAW. My fantasy of what should happen.
It was NOT a good day to be William Regal. In fact, it was NOT a good week to be William Regal. He had had a terrible week. First, he lost against that miserable specimen Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania. Then, on the Monday after, he failed that lovely young lady Stephanie. THEN on Smackdown not only Chris Jericho once again foiled his plans, but also the Hardy Boys and that Buxom Wench Lita. And then, that miserable boy Shane McMahon decided to foil Mr. McMahon's plans by winning at Wrestlemania, and Linda McMahon decided to be a meddlesome fool and regain her title as CEO of the World Wrestling Federation.
But, at least Chris Jericho lost his title. What a foolhardy young man.
And, at least that bloody stupid commentator "J.R." got what was coming to him. That bloody miserable specimen deserved it; he talked so badly about him and Mr. McMahon.
The door to Regal's office opened, and in came Michael Cole, another dumb-arse commentator who deserved to be beaten to a bloody pulp.
"Commissioner, there is someone on line 2 for you, sir." Cole said sarcastically, as usual.
"Oh, grand. Thank you, young man, now run along!" William said cheerfully, and gave him a fake smile and a wave.
Cole left, and William picked up his phone.
"Hello?" asked William.
"Heeloo, William?" a creaky old voice said.
"Oh, Mother, it is certainly grand to hear from you." William said, his day immediately brightened. His mother was the only woman is his life. (Author's Note: And that is sad.)
"William, I just saw Wrestlemania here, and it was terrible. That toad Chris Jericho besmirched you! How dare he, that miserable little toerag."
"Now, Mother, don't get too upset. Chris Jericho himself was besmirched last Thursday at Smackdown. My good friend Triple H beat him to a bloody pulp. Wasn't that grand, Mother?"
"I haven't seen it yet." His Mother replied.
"When you see it, it will be grand." William said.
And so the conversation went – on and on and on.
While William was talking to his mother, he didn't notice the door to his office open. How he didn't notice the huge form of Mick Foley remains a mystery, but that's who it was – Mick Foley.
Mick was carrying his ever-famous gavel, and a business sign similar to that of William's.
"Hey, Willy!!! What's up?" Mick asked, and William was so surprised he dropped his phone on its' hook.
"You miserable toerag! I was talking to my mother!" William gasped.
"Well, you'll be crying to your Mother when I'm finished with you!" Mick replied, and gave him a thumbs up. "Right here, in Kansas City, Missouri!" (The audience goes mad.)
"What are you talking about?" William asked.
"You see this sign?" Mick shoved the sign he was carrying in William's face. "This sign means that, I, Mick Foley, am once again WWF Commissioner again! And, it happened, right here, in Kansas City, Missouri!" (The audience goes even more insane than before.)
"So, William! It looks like you're besmirched once again!" Mick grinned his toothless grin, and gave another thumbs up.
(Cut to commercials.)
THE END
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