4
It's dawn. Mara traced her way through the damp forest, back to the academy. She could feel Luke's worry from miles away and decided it was time to put his mind at ease a little. He had enough to worry about; he didn't need to add her disappearance to it. Besides, she was a big worry for him already. She groaned as she remembered the night before, making passionate love to Luke. How could she have let that happen? How could she let her guard down? Luke wouldn't have been insistent if she had flat out said no. But the truth was she couldn't say no. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. She didn't care about the consequences, about the fact that any relationship with him would be disastrous, deadly even. If Leia found out…well she wasn't going to think about that.
(Luke what are we going to do?)
(Talk about it) was his simple answer, taking her by surprise. She wasn't actually reaching out for him; at least she didn't think she was. How strong was their connection anyway?
(Come back Mara. We'll figure something out.)
Mara didn't answer. She didn't want to give him the idea that she was going to listen to him. But she knew he was right. They had to talk about their actions and what affect if any it had on their relationship. Could a friendship be salvaged? (Okay farmboy. I'm on my way back.)
Twelve minutes later, Mara found him standing outside the academy waiting for her. She wasn't surprised to find a whirlwind of emotions when she probed him. She was still reeling too. That walk had done nothing to clear her head.
"Ok. You want to talk, let's talk. What the hell was you thinking last night!" Mara was suddenly angry. She was so tired of feeling guilty and afraid. He was the one that made the first move, not her. She was just responding.
Luke bowed his head. He didn't know what he was thinking. It was just the fact that he needed her at that moment and he had no where to go with those feelings but to her. "I wasn't thinking. But what about you? You weren't saying no either. You were as ready and willing as I was. If you didn't want it, then you would have said so."
"This can't happen Luke! It can't! I'm a fugitive!"
"I know that. I know that you'll be on the run for the rest of your life. But that doesn't mean that I can't care about you. You're my friend Mara."
"Friends don't sleep together," Mara turned away from him, not wanting to look at him. If she did that, she would lose all coherent thought. She had to keep her wits about her if she was going to make them both see reason.
"Well then maybe we aren't friends. Maybe we're something more. Maybe what I feel for you goes way beyond friendship."
Mara turned back to him. She noticed how stormy those blue eyes seemed at the moment. "Luke…what are you saying?"
Luke took a big breath and stared at her dead on. "I think I'm in love with you Mara. I have these feelings, stronger than I've ever felt with anyone else and I've had these for a long time. I just can't hold them back anymore."
Mara closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Those three words were the exact thing she wanted to hear from him, but strangely she didn't know how to react. He loved her, he always had. He didn't see Mara Jade the Emperors hand. He saw Mara Jade, the woman. "You think you love me or you know?"
"I know," was his quiet reply.
"Gods Luke! Great timing you have here!"
Luke smiled. "I know. Better late than never right?"
"Well at least I know last night was about more than sex," She snorted.
"Of course it was. If it was just about sex, I wouldn't have let it happen," Luke shrugged, then looked back up at her, a question in his eyes. "How do you feel about me Mara?"
Fear shone in her eyes as she looked in his. If she said she loved him, she might lose him, but if she didn't…she may lose him anyway. But then again, he wasn't hers. He would never be hers. She had nothing to lose in admitting her feelings. "I love you too Luke. I loved you for the past ten years. I would have told you but I was afraid. Then Callista was in your life, then she was gone and you needed to recover. And now I'm a fugitive from the law and I still can't be with you so no matter what I do I can't win!" Hot tears sprung to her eyes and she turned away from him.
Luke gently turned her back to face him. He gently stroked her left cheek and gazed deeply into her eyes. "You've already won Mara. Don't you know that? Can't you feel it?"
Luke slammed down his barriers as Mara began to probe his mind. Her eyes widen when she feels how deep his feelings ran for her. Tears pour from her eyes at that moment.
"Oh Luke…I…"
"Shhh, you don't have to say anything," He pulls her into his arms. "I know that it isn't safe, or wise to love you like I do, but I can't help how I feel. I love you Mara. More and More each day. I can't stop."
She reached up and gently touched his face, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I can't stop either. Gods Luke. Look at what you've done to me. Now how am I supposed to turn away when my ship is fixed?"
Luke only smiles and shrugged. "Maybe you aren't meant to leave here. Maybe we were meant to be here together for all time. Who knows what the Force has in store for us."
"So…where do we go from here?"
Luke shrugged. He had no clue. They couldn't return to just friends, and they certainly weren't enemies. There was only one direction to go. "I suppose we'll have to become lovers. Secret lovers of course, at least until I can talk Leia into dropping those charges."
Mara's eyes widened in shock. "What makes you think I want to become lovers with you Skywalker?" Her green eyes flashed with mock indignation.
"The fact that we made passionate love the night before and we just now admitted to one another our true feelings," Luke he stroked her cheek. "Mara, we're only hurting ourselves if we deny these feelings and pretend that they don't exist."
Mara sighed, looking down at the ground. Luke was right. Secret lovers was the only path they could take for right now. "Ok Farmboy. You win. But the second your sister even suspects, I'm out of here."
"Understood," Luke nodded, his eyes shining with happiness. "I love you Mara. I really do. No matter what happens from here on out."
Mara only nodded and smiled in answer. "Same for me Luke. Gods help me I love you. I think I have from the moment the Emperor showed me your picture all those years ago."
Luke only smiled down at her before kissing her passionately. Both were happy with the decision. Neither knew of the eventual heartbreak their relationship would bring not only to themselves, but to others as well.