Disclaimer: I know that you don't hear this very often, but, "I AM NOT CRAIG MCCRACKEN!! DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I AM, YOU BAG OF DIVORCED FRUIT!!" Thank you.
Author's Note: This is the 2nd chapter in my fanfic series, "HIM's Heritage." Enjoy. I TOLD YOU TO ENJOY, SO ENJOY!!!
Part 2
by Brian
When we last left our deranged villain, he had just left the mayor's office with an urge to conquer the world (But he was going the wrong way because he was so happy that his plan might work). Meanwhile, the Powerpuff Girls were flying in his direction to stop a crime from being successfully committed.
HIM spotted them and slowed his speed down a little and dove behind a tree in an attempt to not be seen. But the Powerpuff Girls did see him, and went over to talk to him.
"Hey, HIM!" Blossom shouted over to him, "You alright? Looks like you took a nosedive there!"
HIM cringed in fear, then straightened up, poked his head out from behind the tree and said, "Oh, yes. I'm fine. I wasn't looking where I was going and I crashed into this bird here. See?" HIM pulled a large owl that was nesting out of the tree and presented it. The owl made an attempt to remove itself from HIM's clutches. Seeing this, HIM set it free. As soon as it was free, the owl began to circle overhead waiting for his nest to be clear of any idiots.
"If you say so," Blossom replied. "Come on girls," and they began to fly off.
"Oh, girls," HIM called after them, "where are you going in such a hurry?"
"It's nothing," Buttercup replied. "We just have to stop a stupid bank robber. See ya!"
That means that those brats will be too occupied to do anything about me, he though to himself as the girls soared off. Oooh! This is too perfect!!
Joe was walking down the Boulevard. He stopped at the hot dog stand.
"Hey, Joe," the hot dog vender called to him, "Waddaya know?"
"Well, I know that you're the hot dog vender."
The hot dog vender looked up. "Hey, what's that," he asked, pointing to a flying red object. "Looks to me like a comet."
"No," Joe said. "It's a meteor!"
George Jetson was walking by, and he said, "No, that's no space rock, it's HIM.
"Oh," the other two said, still looking at it. Realizing what they had just said, all three of them started screaming.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
It seemed that all three of them screaming together made a very annoying sound, so HIM, in turn, got quite angry. "SHUT UP!!"
The three immediately silenced themselves, but it seemed evident that it was not from fear that they did so.
In his feminine voice, HIM said, "People of Townsville!! I am just about to say my name to you. The name that strikes fear into mortal men's hearts!"
Everyone looked at him in Shock, then covered their ears in attempt to muffle out the sound. "NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! NOOOO!"
"MUERTE ALMA!"
The people of Townsville opened their eyes and stared at HIM in bewilderment. In unison, they all said, "That's not your name!"
"What?"
An old man in a cloak stepped forward and said, "We said, that is not your name."
"But my file says that my name is Muerte Alma!!"
"Your file is misinformed, as are you. You name is MORTON!"
Miles away, tame horses suddenly became spooked, goldfish that were merely bobbing up and down slowly began to dart around their tanks and blinding speeds, a souffle collapsed, lightning struck in the same place twice, and Morton (HIM) look around trying to figure out what just went on. Soon, he gave
up, and said, "Oh, well... MORTON!!" he shouted menacingly.
The people of Townsville began to scream and run around aimlessly. Only the old man in the center remained temperate.
"You will not scare me with that jargin," he said. "I know for a fact that you can't do anything to hurt me."
"Oh, is that so?!" Morton aimed a claw at the man and opened it up. Just as Morton shot a beam of energy at the man, he withdrew a large wooden wand from behind his cloak and muttered the words, "repellere!"
The beam of energy Morton deployed was coming back at him. He just barely got out of the way in time.
Morton looked down at the man and said to himself, "A wizard. This will be tricky...."
The two stood spaced apart from each other waiting for the other to make a move. Morton disappeared and reappeared behind the wizard.
"Teleportation." The wizard vanished.
Morton looked around for any trace of him. "He's gone! Where'd he--" Morton saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He leaped back, and the beam hit an innocent Townsville resident and he was trapped in a large bubble. The wizard said, "dispellos," and the Bubble dissipated into the air.
Suddenly, there was a loud "crack." The wand flew into the air, and the wizard fell to the ground.
"Now I've got you," Morton said to the fallen wizard.
"There's just one problem," he replied.
"Oh?" Morton asked, "And what's that?"
"I'm not really a wizard. Or a man, for that matter. (Morton looked shocked) I'm just another spiritual manifestation buying time." With that, the 'wizard' dissolved into smoke.
Morton looked up just in time to see the Powerpuff girls speeding towards him. In an attempt to make them break down in laughter again, he brought out a small match, flicked his finger across the sulfur to ignite it, lit his pants on fire, then began to run around screaming, "AHH! MY BUTT'S ON FIRE!!! MY BUTT'S ON FIRE!! Ooh. This feels nice. AHH! IT STINGS!!"
Buttercup wasn't about to fall for this twice, so she shouted, "Well, let me help you put it out!!" She kicked him with as much force as she could muster right in the hind area, which did extinguish the flame, but it sent Morton soaring so far that he hit the city hall head on. He crashed through the ceiling of the mayor's office and got stuck.
"Oh, hello, HIM," the mayor said in the way of a greeting. "You're just in time for cookies."
On the other side, the girls were in the process of beating Morton up, and they were using him as a heavy bag. They began to pull him out of there for the final blows.
The mayor had brought a ladder from the janitor's office and was feeding Morton the cookies. Just as the mayor was about to feed him the forth cookie, Morton slipped back out through the hole.
Buttercup began to spin Morton around, faster and faster and faster, until she flung him with all her might into the air. All three Powerpuffs let loose their eye beams on him, which, needless to say, was very, very painful. As the Powerpuff Girls stopped shooting their beams at him, Morton teleported back to the villain's secret hideout.
Morton collapsed onto the floor, beaten, battered, smoldering, and very, very unhappy.
"HIM!" Mojo called out from across the room to him, "How did it go, HIM? Did you finally defeat the Powerpuff girls once an for all? Are they now rendered non-compu--"
While Mojo was talking speedily to Morton, Morton thought to himself, That's right! My name is HIM! Morton is just a meaningless name now that it has been trashed up by those blasted Powerpuff girls... why is Mojo droning on about those brats like that? Doesn't he know that I'm not interested in hearing it right now?!? Is that a mirror? Why, yes, it is! Damn, I gotta wash this shirt.
Mojo was still talking. "... And I would like those girls to be destroyed by me, MOJO JOJO, but I cannot do this, because you have probably just defeated them, so I cannot-"
HIM had enough. "SHUT UP!! What was it you wanted to talk about earlier?"
"Oh, yes," Mojo began, "I had almost forgotten. It had almost entirely-"
"NOW!"
"Right! I just formulated a new idea that is, what I like to call, as it is the common phrase for something that has no flaws in it's design, and as it comes from the Late Latin follis and the Late Latin proba, put together to form FOOL PROOF!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
HIM had fallen asleep. "Zzzzzzzzz... chhhhhhhhAAAAA! Zzzzzzzz."
"HIM, are you listening?"
HIM woke up. "Huh? Oh. Sorry. I was bored. Contunue."
Mojo scowled at HIM and went on with his plan. "Anyway, I have a new plan that will surely defeat the Powerpuff Girls once and for all! I will defeat them, and keep them from saving the day, from then on! You might say that now and retroactively their reign of justice is no more. JUSTICE! From which they dedicate their lives, and bring peace and... ew... love... to the world. Now here's what I will do. I will-"
HIM cut him off. Angrily, he shouted, "I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF YOUR IDIOTIC JABBERING!! AUGHHHHHHH!!" And with that, HIM disappeared.
HIM teleported to his house. "Ughhhh...." He crawled, dazed and very tired to his bed, where he collapsed. It was a very tiring day. Even villains need their rest...
So, how did you like it? I don't think I'll be able to post much of anything right now... I've got a lot of school work to do... I'll be writing more, but most of it probably won't be fanfics. Maybe one more... Dunno. But keep my author name on your author alerts, because whatever I DO post, I'm sure you'll love it. (But make sure you know what it is, first)