Crash and Burn: Coping
With Death
Disclaimer: I don't,
nor I ever will, own the characters written in this story. They are the creation of Kevin Williamson
and belong to him as well as Columbia Tristar and the WB. I did not kidnap them and hold them for
ransom. Get real! This is not Air Force One! One more thing, the song "Crash and
Burn" is the brilliant work of Savage Garden.
Author's Note: It's
my first attempt at writing fanfic, so if you cannot prevent yourself from
either breaking out in hysterical laughter or tears, can you please at least
tell me what you think?
Dear Jack,
Ever since
I was a kid, I've always dreamed of being the girl in those fairy tales where
you meet a prince in shining armor, fall madly in love, and live happily ever
after. I wanted to have someone who
would love me everlastingly and would never let me go. I was pretty sure that was Dawson. And when he died, so did a part of me.
Throughout the years you filled
that hollowness in my life. You were my
family, my confidante, and my best friend. You were there at the best of times and at the worst. When I found out that I had cancer, you were
there. I guess I never thanked you for
that, so thank you.
Your continual support and love has
helped me appreciate what was left of my life and accept that I was sick. You helped me learn and grow through the
experience and for that I'm forever in debt to you. You taught me to move on and be thankful for the better things in
life.
Jack, for the longest time I have
been sick. I'm tired of being
sick. I'm sick of being sick. I don't want to fight any more. Please don't hate me.
You once said that I was a fighter
and that I would never give up. Well,
you're partially correct. I'm not
giving up, but I know that I'm not getting any better. But what you said about me being a fighter
was you. It was you all along. You fought for me.
You defended me from my demons.
When I felt alone, and the world
has turned its back on me, you were there to tame my heart. You provided me with relief and encouraged
me to share my thoughts and feelings when I felt like the walls were closing in
on me. You were the first I called. You broke my fall. You mended my broken heart every time I fell apart. And when I crashed and burned, you were
there. I wasn't alone. You were one in a million – a loyal
friend. You fought the monsters in my head
and when I felt like my hopes and dreams were far away and I didn't feel like
facing another day, you were there.
Jack, I learned a lot about true
friendship and loyalty with you and now it's time that others too can do the
same. There has always been heartache
and pain in my life and because of me you will feel a dose of it too.
I'm writing this to you in hopes
that in my passing you will not hold on to me, that you would let go. Grieve for me, but always remember that I'm
with Dawson and my mom now. I'm in a better
place where there is no pain.
I haven't seen my dad and sister
for the longest time. I remember the
places which surround the B&B in Capeside, especially the park where you
brought me on our first date. You
taught me something that night. You
taught me that two energies colliding could make a greater thing and that's
what I think we were. Two people who
shared the deepest of friendships. We
connected on every level.
Take care of Bessie, Alex, Pacey,
Andie, and Jen for me okay? Gosh, I
miss my mom so much. I remember
visiting her grave with you. I think
I'll be buried there. Please don't miss
me. I love you. You were the best friend that a girl could
have.
All my love,
Joey
P.S. We were so "Will and Grace" don't you think?