Title: Moving On (1/1) Story 3 in the "One Night" Trilogy
Author: Melissa
Email: princessbuffy79@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned any of these characters, would I be
begging anyone to please read my stories? Sadly, Buffy and co. are
owned by Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, The WB, and whoever
else holds rights. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted
pleasure for the moment. K.O.???
Summary: Xander thinks about his life and love
Spoilers: None really, but events up to "Replacement" may be mentioned
Distribution: If you want it, go ahead. Just let me know where it's going.
Feedback: Feedback is good, very good.
It's so cold out here. I can't seem to stop shivering. But something keeps me out here, waiting. Not something, someone. Buffy. I will always wait for her. Pathetic, huh?
I see her exit the building and rush off towards the cemetery. I follow her, at a distance. She moves quickly, but I know this route like the back of my hand. I know where she's headed. She's going to hunt again for the second time tonight. It didn't take me long to figure out that she often left the warmth of her bed to hunt alone each night. We would be talking and she would mention demons or vamps that she disposed of the night before. But I had been there and could not recall the creature she spoke of. There was no way I heard her wrong. I just seemed to be the only one paying attention.
I can remember that first night I followed her. I waited outside for her. She didn't let me down. She had escaped the clutches of her beefy boyfriend into the freedom of the night. Her fighting that night had been particularly brutal. Her training was definitely paying off. The vampires didn't stand a chance.
So why was I even there? I often ask myself that very same question. It's not like I'm still in love with her. * yeah right, who am I kidding? * I still love her as much as the day I first saw her. More even, because I now know her. I've seen her evil-bitch side and still can't help from seeing the good in her. She's my best friend. I know we're meant to be together, but how long must I wait?
To be honest, I've given up hope of her ever returning my feelings. I am trying to get over her, to move on with my life. And I think I'm doing a fairly good job. I have a girlfriend who loves me. But is it fair to Anya? I'm with her, but my heart is elsewhere.
'God, Xander, you are so stupid! You are lucky to have Anya. Get over Buffy and move on.' I keep telling myself this over and over, but which is stronger? The heart or the mind? I know my answer. I'm here, aren't I?
I watch my love as she walks up to that crypt. I can't prevent the smile that appears on my face. The memories invade my mind. I remember the talk we had there, in that very dark and smelly room. She and I were so in tune with each other. She knows me better than I know myself and vice versa. But why can't she see it?
She climbs the steps but something stops her. She hesitates and my heart breaks. Obviously, the memories don't mean as much to her as they do me. I close my eyes and turn away.
My back turned, I almost didn't hear her. I listened closer and turned back toward the crypt. There Buffy sat, crying into her hands. Oh, how I long to hold her. To comfort her and tell her everything is going to be all right. But I don't. I stay where I am and watch. I am here to protect her. To watch over her. Not to interfere.
Her sobs rip at my soul. My love, why do you cry? What is wrong? Why won't you let me help you? But I know the answer to that last question. She has Riley, why would she need me? But what does he have that I don't? That answer, too, is easy. He has her.
Buffy stands up and composes herself. She is so beautiful. Even now, with tears streaming down her face. She reminds me of an Angel. But now my angel is returning to where she belongs. With him. I'm consumed with jealousy. I have wanted to be the one to hold her at night for so long, to wake up next to her in the morning. But it is not meant to be. She doesn't love me. I have to move on.
I watch as she disappears through the door. Another night that she will live to see the day. I can sleep now. She is safe. But I can't go on living this way. It's time to pick up what is left of my life and start over. Maybe I need to go somewhere else, just until the day I wake up and don't instantly think of her. That day when I can kiss my girlfriend without wishing it was her. When I can fall asleep without worrying about her. The day I have truly moved on. I need to move on. Tomorrow. But for now. . .
Author: Melissa
Email: princessbuffy79@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned any of these characters, would I be
begging anyone to please read my stories? Sadly, Buffy and co. are
owned by Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, The WB, and whoever
else holds rights. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted
pleasure for the moment. K.O.???
Summary: Xander thinks about his life and love
Spoilers: None really, but events up to "Replacement" may be mentioned
Distribution: If you want it, go ahead. Just let me know where it's going.
Feedback: Feedback is good, very good.
It's so cold out here. I can't seem to stop shivering. But something keeps me out here, waiting. Not something, someone. Buffy. I will always wait for her. Pathetic, huh?
I see her exit the building and rush off towards the cemetery. I follow her, at a distance. She moves quickly, but I know this route like the back of my hand. I know where she's headed. She's going to hunt again for the second time tonight. It didn't take me long to figure out that she often left the warmth of her bed to hunt alone each night. We would be talking and she would mention demons or vamps that she disposed of the night before. But I had been there and could not recall the creature she spoke of. There was no way I heard her wrong. I just seemed to be the only one paying attention.
I can remember that first night I followed her. I waited outside for her. She didn't let me down. She had escaped the clutches of her beefy boyfriend into the freedom of the night. Her fighting that night had been particularly brutal. Her training was definitely paying off. The vampires didn't stand a chance.
So why was I even there? I often ask myself that very same question. It's not like I'm still in love with her. * yeah right, who am I kidding? * I still love her as much as the day I first saw her. More even, because I now know her. I've seen her evil-bitch side and still can't help from seeing the good in her. She's my best friend. I know we're meant to be together, but how long must I wait?
To be honest, I've given up hope of her ever returning my feelings. I am trying to get over her, to move on with my life. And I think I'm doing a fairly good job. I have a girlfriend who loves me. But is it fair to Anya? I'm with her, but my heart is elsewhere.
'God, Xander, you are so stupid! You are lucky to have Anya. Get over Buffy and move on.' I keep telling myself this over and over, but which is stronger? The heart or the mind? I know my answer. I'm here, aren't I?
I watch my love as she walks up to that crypt. I can't prevent the smile that appears on my face. The memories invade my mind. I remember the talk we had there, in that very dark and smelly room. She and I were so in tune with each other. She knows me better than I know myself and vice versa. But why can't she see it?
She climbs the steps but something stops her. She hesitates and my heart breaks. Obviously, the memories don't mean as much to her as they do me. I close my eyes and turn away.
My back turned, I almost didn't hear her. I listened closer and turned back toward the crypt. There Buffy sat, crying into her hands. Oh, how I long to hold her. To comfort her and tell her everything is going to be all right. But I don't. I stay where I am and watch. I am here to protect her. To watch over her. Not to interfere.
Her sobs rip at my soul. My love, why do you cry? What is wrong? Why won't you let me help you? But I know the answer to that last question. She has Riley, why would she need me? But what does he have that I don't? That answer, too, is easy. He has her.
Buffy stands up and composes herself. She is so beautiful. Even now, with tears streaming down her face. She reminds me of an Angel. But now my angel is returning to where she belongs. With him. I'm consumed with jealousy. I have wanted to be the one to hold her at night for so long, to wake up next to her in the morning. But it is not meant to be. She doesn't love me. I have to move on.
I watch as she disappears through the door. Another night that she will live to see the day. I can sleep now. She is safe. But I can't go on living this way. It's time to pick up what is left of my life and start over. Maybe I need to go somewhere else, just until the day I wake up and don't instantly think of her. That day when I can kiss my girlfriend without wishing it was her. When I can fall asleep without worrying about her. The day I have truly moved on. I need to move on. Tomorrow. But for now. . .