Written by Benoit Goudreault-Emond
2. Reaching out to an old friend
Cloud was standing in front of the young woman with long, braided brown hair. His sword was raised to strike. He heard Tifa gasp and Cid curse. He tried to snap out of it.
He failed. The sword swung towards the young woman as she opened her eyes and smiled for a moment. It severed her neck neatly.
Screaming, Cloud woke up, shaking badly. Third night in a row he had this nightmare. He held his head in his hands, trying to pull himself together. The nightmares had started two years after Sephiroth had met his demise at Cloud's hands. They had been going on for a month now, getting steadily worse and worse, and always one point in common: Aeris' death. As a result, Cloud was getting less and less sleep, which probably made the nightmares even worse. A very ugly vicious cycle.
Knowing, from having tried for a month, that there was no way he could fall asleep again, he got dressed and went out for a walk. His Chocobo was sleeping peacefully next to his tent. Cloud resisted the urge to scratch it between the ears, not wanting to wake the bird up. He slowly made his way to the nearby stream, and splashed some of the clear, pure water on his face, trying to clear his mind. He gazed at his reflection in the water. He really looked awful: face gaunt and dark circles under the eyes. He felt awful too, not just physically. He had taken off to a spot in the middle of nowhere to try to get some quiet, hoping it would take his mind off Aeris and allow him to sleep.
Unfortunately, it wasn't working, and he could feel himself deteriorate rapidly. If he didn't get some solid sleep soon, his life may be in actual danger. He was tough, but a full month without proper sleep was a lot.
Suddenly, a branch cracked to Cloud's right. Despite being incredibly tired, he was on his feet immediately, sword in hand. Cautiously, he moved towards a nearby bush from where the sound had originated. He used the tip of his sword to move some leaves out of the way and peered inside the bush.
Predictably, out came a monster. Some bizarre, two-headed reptilian freak with lots and lots of teeth. It lunged at Cloud, who dodged the beast with ease. It lunged again, roaring. The noise woke up Cloud's Chocobo, who emitted a cacophony of squawks and, panicked, fled in some random direction. Cloud muttered a curse under his breath, and with a single sweep of his sword, chopped off one of the monster's hideous head. The monster's roar changed to a high-pitched, ear-drilling whine. The effect on Cloud was immediate: instinctively, he sliced at the beast again, taking off the other head and driving his sword deep into its body.
The whine became a plaintive whimper, and then silence as the beast expired.
Cloud sheathed his sword. Had he been in his normal state, he would have spun it over his head before putting it back to express his triumph, but he was too exhausted to even consider it. With a weary sigh, he went off after the Chocobo.
The sun was high in the sky when he finally reached the bird. He called to it, and it obligingly trotted towards its owner. However, when Cloud tried to mount it, it refused to stand still, twittering angrily.
"It's gonna be one of those days..." sighed Cloud. He took the Chocobo's bridle and dragged it behind him, walking back towards his tent.
He made it without further incident. When he finally came in view of the pole he had planted close to the tent to mark his position, he could perceive the smell of good food being cooked. A somewhat familiar smell... which he couldn't quite identify. Intrigued, he hurried on, and immediately recognized the smell as soon as he saw the cook. Obviously, Tifa Lockheart hadn't lost her touch in the kitchen.
Despite feeling horribly exhausted, a smile appeared on Cloud's lips as he approached her as furtively as possible. Tifa did not notice him. She was obviously concentrating on peeling something Cloud could not see from his viewpoint. After watching her work for a short time, he got closer.
"Figures it's you. Only person able to make something edible out of that thing," he said loudly.
Tifa gasped and turned around, startled, knife still in hand. Then, dropping the knife, she gave him a smile that would've melted an iceberg. She ran to Cloud and hugged him.
`Cloud! I'm so glad you're still here!" she said. "I thought you had already moved on!"
Cloud was returning the hug, but rather awkwardly. Tifa realized something was not quite right with him. She drew back, wondering why he was so tense, and gasped again, this time in horror. His face was so gaunt, the circles under his eyes so dark, and his eyes... he looked exhausted, mentally as well as physically.
"Cloud... You look awful!" Tifa blurted.
"I know," Cloud replied, sadness heavy in his voice.
"It hasn't gotten any better?"
"It's gotten worse," said Cloud softly.
Tifa looked at him in silence, concerned. It had been three weeks since Cloud had taken off. Before, he had been irritable, difficult. He had left without a note, after a shouting match with Tifa. She had wanted to follow him in the woods. He felt she would only annoy him. They argued. He left. She was furious. The normally cheerful Tifa had brooded for three days. She had gone as far as snapping at Vincent, who had been kind enough to drop by for a short visit to her bar in Kalm. Vincent had not complained at the treatment, but he must have had enough eventually, because he told her, "Tifa, being angry won't bring him back. Just give him time. Don't hurt yourself like that."
Vincent always had a knack to come to the point. In one instant, she realized how badly she missed Cloud, and that her anger at him was really anger at herself for driving him away. She broke down and cried. Vincent just took her in his arms and let her, comforting her without saying a word. Finally, her sobbing ebbed and, realizing how much her reaction had revealed of her feelings for Cloud, she blushed and looked away.
"Don't worry," Vincent had said, as if he could read her thoughts, "I won't tell a soul."
"Thank you, Vincent," she had replied softly.
"Although I don't think this will make much difference," Vincent had warned. "I believe everyone knows how you feel about him."
"Is it that obvious?" she had asked weakly.
Vincent had nodded. "Barret believes that he doesn't deserve you."
She had looked up sharply. "And what do you think?" she had asked, a hint of venom in her voice.
Vincent had shrugged. "He's brave, noble, but he's incredibly dense. We all wish he'd realize what everybody else does. But it's not our job to tell him; it's yours."
Tifa had sighed. "I know," she had said. "It's much more difficult than you would think..."
Vincent had left the following day, promising to keep in touch. Later the same day, a pigeon had brought a letter from Cloud. It read:
Tifa,After reading the letter, she had felt better, seeing that he at least had some inkling of how much he had hurt her by leaving so abruptly. Courageously, she had decided not to run to him, despite being worried about his note on how he still could not get any sleep. She resolved to wait for him to send her another letter. But a phone call from Reeve had forced her to rejoin Cloud prematurely.I'm sorry I snapped and yelled at you like that. Lack of sleep has taken a heavy toll on me. I hope you understand that I need to be alone for this. I have to purge myself of the daemons in my soul, of my guilt at failing my duty towards Aeris. I hope being isolated for some time will help me; however, so far, it has not.
In any case, should something bad happen, like some maniac wanting to take over the Planet again, it would be best if you could reach me, as I foolishly forgot to return you some of the Materia I had in my sword. I'd bring it back, but I'd rather try to sleep; doing so is becoming increasingly difficult, and I don't want to risk losing even more to a couple of orbs unless there's an emergency. I am next to the tiny stream a couple of kilometers north east of Kalm.
I hope you will understand that I ask you to refrain from rejoining me. I'd enjoy having you here with me, but this is something I can only do alone.
Please forgive me from having been such a jerk. I realize that is no way to treat a friend, and my lack of sleep is a poor excuse. When I feel better, I'll try to make it up to you.
Cloud.
"Tifa?" asked Cloud, bringing her back to the present.
"Huh?"
"Where were you just now?" inquired Cloud, a puzzled expression on his face.
"Three weeks ago..." replied Tifa, drifting off on the last word.
"Ah." said Cloud, simply. "Well, again, I'm sorry, Tifa... I was really not myself at that point."
"I understand, Cloud." replied Tifa, softly.
"Seems like I spend my time apologizing, heh?" said Cloud, the beginnings of a smile showing on his lips. "Well. What brings you here," he continued, seriously.
"Well..." Tifa hesitated. Should she really burden him with that? He didn't look in very good shape, and the news she brought might require him to go in combat.
"Come on, out with it," urged Cloud. Then he stopped, sniffing the air. "Uh, I think your lunch is burning..."
"Damn!" exclaimed Tifa, turning back to Cloud's portable stove that she was using to cook her meal. Indeed, black smoke was coming out. She turned the stove off, and looked darkly at the food. Luckily, it was only slightly charred. Still, in her professional opinion, it was ruined.
"Hm. I had thought I'd share with you if you were around," she told Cloud, who was trying to conceal his amusement, much to her annoyance. "But I'm not sure that's such a good idea now."
"Are you kidding? Tifa, you'd make a piece of charcoal taste good. Of course I want to share it!"
"All right. Grab a piece," she told him, presenting him the pan. Cloud took a nearby plate and she placed a piece of meat in it. She then took her own share of the food, and sat down on the grassy ground, looking up at Cloud, inviting him to sit besides her. He plopped down. Tifa took her first bite, and grimaced slightly; it was far from being up to her standards. Cloud did not seem to mind as he took a big bite out of it.
"Thanfs, Tifa--if's delifious," he said, mouth full.
"I'm glad you think so, Cloud," she replied absently, taking another bite reluctantly. That one wasn't so bad.
"So, anyways," Cloud said clearly this time, having swallowed, "are you going to tell me why you came here?"
Tifa hesitated again, buying time by taking yet another bite. Cloud knew, of course, that she would not speak with her mouth full. She considered. He looked bad, but he had seen worse and still fought on. Possibly, getting his mind off Aeris would make things better. Besides, if he didn't want to come, he could just say so. Right. She should tell him.
"Well, there's trouble..." Tifa begun. Cloud immediately scowled, and Tifa stammered the rest, "...somebody is claiming Shinra is still alive and plans to retake Midgar." Midgar had just been rebuilt, although what was left of its Mako reactors was, thankfully, unused.
Cloud did not appear surprised. He looked downright calm. He was frowning very heavily, looking out in the distance. "I guess that means AVALANCHE is being reassembled?" he said after an unnerving pause.
"That's right." Tifa replied quickly.
Another pause. "OK. I'll get my stuff."
"Are you sure about that?" asked Tifa, concern evident in her voice. "You're so tired..."
Cloud looked her straight in the eye. Her breath caught. Such intense blue eyes. "I'm going," he said simply. He nodded, to emphasize his point. Then, he shouldered his sword, and got to work disassembling his tent.
"Oh! Let me help you with that," said Tifa, wolfing down the last of her lunch. Between the two of them, the tent was brought down and folded away very quickly. By the time they left, it was not even noon yet.
This document was generated using texi2html
Benoit Goudreault-Emond April, 9 2001