Written by Benoit Goudreault-Emond
12. A journey in a tortured mind
The Lifestream was just as Tifa remembered it.
Covering her ears, Tifa ran in some random direction. Thousands of souls were screaming their anger. Accusing her. Condemning her. For things she had never done, never even heard of. She ignored the all as she ran, calling Aeris' name as loud as she could. She hoped to be heard over the complaints of the dead, but she knew that if Aeris did not call to her as well, she'd never find her. Tifa began to question her entire plan. There are so many things that could go wrong, she thought. Still, she kept going. Besides, what choice do I have?
Fortunately, a few seconds after those thoughts had wormed their way in Tifa's mind, she heard a faint, yet familiar, voice call her name. Hearing this, Tifa called for Aeris even louder, running in the direction she thought the Cetra's voice had come from. Pinpointing that direction proved maddeningly difficult. As she ran in one direction, where the calls were coming out stronger, Aeris' voice would become fainter as Tifa moved forward. Within a few more steps, the Cetra's voice would become louder once again. The laws of physics obviously did not apply in that place. Tifa's frustration was growing quickly.
The matter was presently settled when the ground (or whatever served as ground in the Lifestream) opened up under Tifa's feet. She did not resist the fall--she knew she had finally reached her objective. Midway through the fall, she lost consciousness.
When Tifa came to, she was standing in a very strange place that looked more like a dream than a real location. Just like Cloud's mind, she thought. She was surprised that it was just as eerie as Cloud's mind had been. She had expected something a bit more... sane, somehow. Aeris had never had Cloud's psychological problems. Well, maybe I'm reading too much in the scenery... she thought.
There was a big difference with her previous journey in someone else's mind. This time, there were people around. In Cloud's mind, several manifestations of Cloud's personality had been present. But there had been no one else.
Here, there were scores of people, all semi-translucent, ghostlike. Tifa did not know any of them. She noticed they all had brilliant green eyes, like Aeris'.
Tifa walked up to where a group of ghosts were standing. "Where's Aeris?" she asked them.
One of the ghosts walked to her. He was an old, wise-looking man with a long, snowy-white beard.
"Who are you?" he asked with an idly curious tone.
"Tifa Lockheart. Where's Aeris?" she repeated.
Another ghost walked to her. She was a young girl who looked about twelve. "Why should we tell you?" she asked suspiciously.
"I'm her friend," answered Tifa.
"What do you intend to do, once you find her?" asked the old man.
"I want to bring her back to her former self. To make her sane again," replied Tifa.
"Oh, she's very much sane," replied the ghost of a dashing young man with blond hair. "But we can't let you bring her back. If you do, the Planet will be in danger."
"If the Planet is in danger, Aeris will surely try to do something about it," Tifa assured them. "My friends and I will help her if necessary."
"It's not that simple," muttered the old man.
"Aeris doesn't agree with us," said the young girl.
"She's forgotten her heritage," completed the young man. "She thinks our ways are wrong."
"How do you know your ways are right in the first place?" snapped Tifa. Something in the young man's tone was putting her on a short fuse.
"We are Cetra. We can't be wrong," said the young girl matter-of-factly.
"Aeris is Cetra as well," Tifa pointed out.
"She's only half Cetra," said the young man, contempt dripping from his voice. The old man glared at him and seemed about to say something, but kept silent.
"I see," said Tifa, putting as much sarcasm in her tone as she could. "Since you are pure Cetra, you can't be wrong, but Aeris, as half Cetra, can be."
"That's right," said the young girl, again, matter-of-factly.
"I think I've had enough of all of you," said Tifa. "I don't care who's right, you or Aeris. You can't just hijack her mind like this!" With that, Tifa ran forward, forcing her way through the ghosts. They hastily moved out of her way.
The young man floated to Tifa's left as she ran. "Why do you care for that half-human?"
"She's my friend!" replied Tifa angrily.
"She's also your rival," the young man shot back. He conjured an ethereal image of Cloud's face.
"Maybe," Tifa admitted. "But nobody deserves what you've done to her, and especially not her. You..." She paused, not sure how to express the thoughts that were coming to her. Then, she suddenly realized the nature of those people. "You're the ones who got Aeris to try to fry me, aren't you? And you got her to summon the WEAPON, right? You're the thousand souls she said she could not fight!"
"We are," admitted the old man, who had just drifted to Tifa's right. "What difference does it make?"
"None, except that I'm even more convinced that if anyone's right here, it's not you people," Tifa replied icily. She pressed onward.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Aeris popped out. She was tied to a stake, and her face wore marks of abuse. Tifa gasped. Each of those wounds is to her mind, she thought. What kind of monster would do something like this? She ran forward and undid Aeris' restraints. She shot a glance at the young man. If he had not been already dead, Tifa's look would have no doubt killed him. She undid the last piece of rope that was holding Aeris tied to the stake. Aeris immediately collapsed to the floor, awake, but exhausted. Tifa helped her up. "What have you done to her?" she yelled.
"We wanted her to see things our way," replied the old man sadly. "We regret we had to do this to her."
"Speak for yourself," retorted the young man. "I rather enjoyed it."
Tifa saw red. Forgetting that she was not in the real world, she turned around and drove her palm in the young man's face.
The young man's ghost screamed and vanished.
The ghosts of the other Cetra stood still, not saying a word. They looked stunned by Tifa's actions. She ignored them and turned to Aeris, intent on tending to her. She gasped when she saw the Cetra's face: it was now free of the earlier wounds. Aeris stepped forward, steady on her feet now, her expression one of anger Tifa had never seen on her face.
Before Aeris had a chance to speak, the old man held up a hand. "Aeris. I regret what we've done to you," he said quickly. "But you must understand our position."
"I understand it all too well," Aeris replied hotly. "That's why I fight it. Leave me alone. Find another victim to take over."
"We can't leave," protested the old man. "Surely you know that, by now!"
"I'll make you leave!" Aeris snapped.
"You can't do that," said the ghost of the young girl.
"No, I can't. But Tifa can," Aeris replied, turning to her friend and looking at her with tranquil smile.
"It must have been because Elahim was off-guard that she managed it," the old man speculated. His voice had lost its earlier assurance, though.
Aeris looked at Tifa, eyebrows raised. The martial artist grinned. "Which one do you want me to punch?" she asked.
"The one you think deserves it the most," Aeris replied.
"From what I know of them, they all deserve it!" Tifa asserted.
Aeris shrugged. She pointed at a young man who looked like the one Tifa had attacked earlier, except that he had black hair. "This one," she said. "He tried to `convince' me the same way Elahim did."
Aeris did not need to ask twice. Tifa moved to the young man's ghost and punched him in his chest. He screamed and vanished. The ghost of a young woman who had been standing next to him tried to kick Tifa on the leg. Tifa dodged, whirled, and kicked her attacker on the side of the head. That ghost screamed and vanished as well.
"STOP!" screamed the old man. "We'll leave. But please, Aeris... take care of the Planet," he pleaded.
"You know very well that I intend to," replied Aeris hotly. "I always intended to. You have no excuse for what you did."
"Ah, but will your ways succeed?" asked the old man. "Never mind. We'll have to hope you do. I wish you could see what's at stake, here."
And with that, with no noise nor flashes, the ghosts vanished.
Aeris looked immensely relieved. Tifa put a hand on her shoulder. Aeris turned around and gave her a hesitant smile. Then, without warning, the facade crumbled and she started to cry. Tifa instinctively took the Cetra in her arms, trying to comfort her. Gradually, Aeris' sobs became less and less violent. Finally, she released Tifa and left her comforting arms. She smiled, this time with more conviction.
"They're gone," she said. "It's over."
"Had you met any of them before now?" asked Tifa.
"No. Not even while I was dead. You know, I'm not even sure they're Cetra. My mother, Ifalna, certainly never acted like this..." She stayed silent a little while, staring off at a distance. Finally, she sighed and turned to Tifa, smiling once again. "We better get out of here. Poor Cloud must be worried sick!"
Thinking of Cloud sobered Tifa up. My God, he must be a wreck! He probably thinks it's all his fault still, and he doesn't even know we're both alive! she realized. Aloud, she said, "Right. Let's get out of here."
Cloud Strife was lying on his back, staring at the rock ceiling. He didn't know what to do. He had been prepared for Aeris' death, in a manner of speaking. But Tifa's? Definitely not.
For the first time in his life, Cloud had absolutely no idea what to do next. Worse, he felt he had no reason to exist any further. Tifa's absence left a gaping hole somewhere he could not define. Why do I feel this way? Cloud wondered. When did she become so important that I can't think of life in her absence?
He did not have time to find an answer to that question. A faint sound of water dripping interrupted the flow of his confused thoughts. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked in the direction of the noise. The sound came from the edge of the cliff overlooking the Lifestream, where Cloud could see a familiar gloved hand trying to find a handhold.
At first, Cloud just looked at that hand, not quite understanding what it meant. Then, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Tifa's alive! was the only thought in his mind as he ran to the edge of the cliff. He grasp Tifa's hand and pulled hard, helping her out. Still clad in Vincent's cape, dripping wet, Tifa looked incredibly tired. She managed a weak smile as she saw Cloud. Cloud started to drag her away from the cliff, but she resisted.
"Aeris is in there. Help her out, Cloud," she told him.
Cloud just blinked. Feeling as if he was in a dream, he pulled Aeris up. She did not even look at him. She only mumbled thanks and collapsed on the stone floor, obviously even more exhausted than Tifa was. Knowing he'd get no answers to the hundred questions that pressed in his mind, he turned back to Tifa. She closed her eyes and smiled.
"Aeris is herself again. Look, I know you want to know what happened," said Tifa. "But please... I really need to sleep."
"Sure," answered Cloud. Tifa slumped to the ground and was asleep almost immediately.
Not having anything better to do, Cloud sat, back on a nearby stone wall, and tried to sort out all the emotions he could feel welling from within him. He normally would have laughed with relief, but it had been one too many shocks in a single day. First, Aeris alive, then Tifa dying, then thinking both of them dead, and then both of them alive again. All he could do now was stare at both of them with an odd expression on his face.
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Benoit Goudreault-Emond April, 9 2001