The Blatant Self-Insertion Fic Of Doom
By Shimegami
Warnings: Extremely out of character people, random silliness and stupidity, more swearing.
Disclaimer: NOt mine. Don't sue.
AN: The next chapter. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA-ACK!! Damn pocky...
Chapter 2
"I'm bored…….." Mina squealed from hanging off Xelloss
Leri groaned, not wanting to think about it, she focused on creating coffee cups. But she already had a gabillion of them already.
."You know you can stop that. Its freaking me out."
"Shut up Amelia." Lina was calm for once.
"It's getting dark. We should stop for the night." Zelgadis observed.
"Yay!! Sleepy time!!!" Minea hugged the unconscious Xelloss even tighter.
"///_-\\……I'm not going to say anything…oh, shi-"
glomp "I think you're much more interesting than coffee cups!" //said coffee cups dissapear//
"///_O\\….uh…erk…I can't breathe…."
"Look! An inn!!" The floating Minea pointed ahead.
"YES!! I get to sleep in a warm nice oh so comfy bed!!!" Lina ran ahead. "And FOOD!!! I GET TO EAT!!!!"
"Food? Wait for me, Lina!" Gourry ran after his companion at the promise of food.
"Wait for me, Lina-san! Gourry-san!!" Amelia ran after the two.
Minea giggled. "Oh my, my dear Xel-chan is waking up!"
"Ugh…what happened…huh? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xelloss waved his arms in SD mode, screaming.
"Now, you won't get away from like that!" glomp
"What did I do…?"
thud
"Hah hah…you fell off, Leri-chan!"
"Shut up Minea." Leri glared. "FIREBALL!!!" causeing both Xelloss and Minea to unglomp and scatter.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
giggle "Not for long!!!" Minea phased in behind Xelloss and quickly pounced.
Glomp
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ||_||"
"Come on, admit that you like it! ^_^"
sniffle
"Hey! That reminds me!!" Leri said.
"Oh, no, Leri..no! GET AWAY FROM ME!! DON'T COME NEAR ME WITH THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE!!! GET AWA-ACK!!" Zelgadis turned and fled for the safety of the inn.
"Oh, no, you get back here!!!" //said members are now running towards the inn//
Long pause. "DO you think you'd be safer in THERE?!" //various screams and other sounds can be heard from the inn//
"Uh…"
"Got you! MWA HA HA HA HA!!" glomp
"CRAP! I fell for it…"
giggle
//switch to inn//
Xelloss' and Minea's Room
"Stay THERE!"
"No!" glomp
"AAH! Stop it! Get offa me!"
"No!!"
//Minea kisses Xelloss on the cheek, causing him to pass out from shock//
"Yay! My teddy bear Mazoku!!"
//Minea snuggles in bed with her unconscious Xelloss//
Zelgadis' and Leri's Room
Click. Click. Click.
Slurp.
Click Click Click.
"Ugha……."
Click Click Click
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!"
Long pause. Click Click Click.
THUD! "Zel-chan?"
"WHAT?"
"Step on this." Leri put a scale on the floor.
"///_O\\…….."
"Hmm….okay 483……thats what I thought."
"///_O\\;;;;;;;"
glomp "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
//switch to Minea and Xelloss' room//
//Hmm…sleeping peacefully. But apparently Xelloss has unconsciously snuggled to Minea and is now sleeping peacefully.
Aww, how sweet! I'm getting cavities just from thinking about it.//
//Back to Leri and Zelgadis//
"Come on, it won't break! I made it so that it can stand up to twice your weight!"
"NO! It will break! They always break!"
"Fine." Glomp //Leri drags Zelgadis to the bed and forces him down on it. Surprise!! It doesn't break! Wow.//
"///_O\\….it didn't break…? YAY! BED! ///_^\\!!!!"
glomp "Knew ya'd like it Zel-chan!"
"///_O\\….shouldn't you be on the floor?"
"No! I'm sleeping with you!"
"Oh…God…."
In Amelia's room
"Those lost people are weird…" she said thoughtfully.
"Now where's a mirror?"
"YA!" //Amelia is now playing make up on herself..//
Lina and Gourry's room
Zzzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzzzz………zzzzzzzzzzzzz………..zzzzzzzzzz……..zzzzzzzzzzzzz
//Next morning at breakfast//
Lina, Gourry, and Amelia-"SNARF GOBBLE GULP SNORT GOBBLE SNARF GULP"
Leri and Zelgadis-Coffee time.
Xelloss and Minea - ^_^
"Hey, Zel-chan?"
"Yeah?"
"Good coffee, huh?"
"…Yeah…"
"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOURRY! THAT'S MY PANCAKE!! GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE"
"So, what do you do Minea-chan? ||^_^||"
"Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^"
"I think I like you, Minea-chan ||^_^||"
"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE"
slurp "Want some bacon, Zel-chan?" Leri said nabbing some real food from the table.
"Uhhhhhhhhh no thanks!"
"But you have to eat!"
"Noo….."
"Yes, you do." Leri said sticking some bacon in his mouth.
"N-ump…" chewing
"….."
"Like it?"
"….more please?"
"So…how would like to meet my mistress, Minea-chan? ||^_^||"
"Maybe later when I'm more awake, kay? ^_^"
"Kay. ||^_^||"
"I wonder if Xelloss-san is being controlled by Minea-san?"
"No, Amelia. GOBBLE I think he genuinely likes her GOBBLE"
"Oh…GOBBLE"
Click Click Click.
"Ugh…"
//after breakfast//
"I'm stuffed, what about you Gourry?"
"LOOKIE!!!!" Minea flew over in direction dragging Xelloss with her.
"I know that look!" Leri chirped, grabbed Zelgadis' hand and starting running in same direction.
"Umm.."
"Might as well follow them." /the three remaining nodding and ran off in the same direction//
"A BEACH!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!!" Minea squealed. Unglomping for once and dragging the girls into the nearest bathroom to get changed.
"Beach beach beach beach beach beach.." Minea chanted, using her powers to change into her rather revealing blue bikini, then returning to glomp Xelloss.
Xelloss-fighting off nosebleed
Leri ran into the bathroom, changing into her green bikini. "What do you think of this, Zel-chan?"
Zelgadis-Joins Xelloss into the fight against nosebleeds
//quick rundown of outfits//
Lina-Purple one-piece
Amelia-Pink connected two-piece
Gourry-Purple swim trunks
Zelgadis-Green swim trunks
Xelloss-Blue swim trunks
Minea-Blue non-connected two piece
Leri-Green non-connected two piece
//back to the fun!//
"YOU"RE NOT GOING TO USE ME AS AN ANCHOR!"
"We're not going all the way in…" Leri said dragging him close to the reef.
THUD! "You wouldn't sit." Leri said simply while Zel-san just remained glaring.
//said girl makes drip sand castles//
"uhh.."
Drip drip drip
"Leri?"
Drip drip drip
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT????"
"And do what? Are you jealous of the sand castles, Zel-chan?"
"I'm not jealous!! They just can't have you!!"
"And you say you're not jealous."
"///_O\\….uuygh..umm..erk..uh, oh damn…"
"You ARE!! You're jealous for me?? That's so sweet, Zel-chan!!" glomp
"Damn."
//meanwhile…//
"Xel-chan! Let's swim!! ^_^"
"Uh…" //still fighting off vestiges of earlier nosebleed// "Is that…wise?"
"It's a beach! You're SUPPOSED to swim!!"
"||O_O||…" //Heh heh heh…hiding something, are we Xel-chan? evil laugh//
"Um…AAAH!" Minea grabbed Xelloss and ran full speed for the water.
Splash Splash Splash
"I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
"You can touch the bottom Xel-chan."
"Oh."
Glomp "I'll teach you, Xel-chan!!!"
//nosebleed// "Uigh..do youb dink dat woub be wize?" //Anything else you're hiding Xel? more evil laughter//
"Yes!! ^_^"
"ah..Dobkay…"
"Um..maybe we should wait until that nosebleed stops, eh Xel-chan? It looks bad.."
"No! I'lb be vine!"
"Okay!! ^_^"
Swimming Lessons With Minea!!!
"Okay, just close your eyes Xel-chan and lean back!"
"My eyes are already closed and I'm not leaning back into water!"
"Do it!"
"||O_O|| hai, hai…"
splash
"Hack…cough…splutter..You were supposed to hold me, Minea-chan!!!!"
"Heh heh…I got distracted..^_^;;;;;"
sigh
"Fine then!" grab
"ACK!! ||O_O||!!!!!"
"Now just relax, Xel-chan!"
"I'm drowning!! AAAHHHH!!!! HELP ME!!!"
smack "Calm down!"
"Hai…"
Now, take a deep breath and just lay on your back like you would on a bed."
"Oh..my…"
//Meanwhile//
"I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
"You can with those." Leri said pointing at the mechanical flippers.
being dragged further "I SINK!!!"
"hey…" //Zelgadis dog paddles around.//
"I can swim!! Yay!! ///_^\\!!!" flippers jam in his ecstatic happy dance
"Oh, shi-"
sinks like..well, a rock
"ZEL-CHAN!! NOOOO!!" grabs him and drags him to the shore
Zel-///_@\\
"Oh no!! I've killed him!!!!"
"Hack…cough…I'm…not sinking…splutter.."
"ZEL-CHAN!!!" glomp
"///_-\\"
~TBC~
AN: Stupid, utterly pointless, and no plot. Don't we love self-insertions? I still need socks...
By Shimegami
Warnings: Extremely out of character people, random silliness and stupidity, more swearing.
Disclaimer: NOt mine. Don't sue.
AN: The next chapter. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA-ACK!! Damn pocky...
Chapter 2
"I'm bored…….." Mina squealed from hanging off Xelloss
Leri groaned, not wanting to think about it, she focused on creating coffee cups. But she already had a gabillion of them already.
."You know you can stop that. Its freaking me out."
"Shut up Amelia." Lina was calm for once.
"It's getting dark. We should stop for the night." Zelgadis observed.
"Yay!! Sleepy time!!!" Minea hugged the unconscious Xelloss even tighter.
"///_-\\……I'm not going to say anything…oh, shi-"
glomp "I think you're much more interesting than coffee cups!" //said coffee cups dissapear//
"///_O\\….uh…erk…I can't breathe…."
"Look! An inn!!" The floating Minea pointed ahead.
"YES!! I get to sleep in a warm nice oh so comfy bed!!!" Lina ran ahead. "And FOOD!!! I GET TO EAT!!!!"
"Food? Wait for me, Lina!" Gourry ran after his companion at the promise of food.
"Wait for me, Lina-san! Gourry-san!!" Amelia ran after the two.
Minea giggled. "Oh my, my dear Xel-chan is waking up!"
"Ugh…what happened…huh? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xelloss waved his arms in SD mode, screaming.
"Now, you won't get away from like that!" glomp
"What did I do…?"
thud
"Hah hah…you fell off, Leri-chan!"
"Shut up Minea." Leri glared. "FIREBALL!!!" causeing both Xelloss and Minea to unglomp and scatter.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
giggle "Not for long!!!" Minea phased in behind Xelloss and quickly pounced.
Glomp
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ||_||"
"Come on, admit that you like it! ^_^"
sniffle
"Hey! That reminds me!!" Leri said.
"Oh, no, Leri..no! GET AWAY FROM ME!! DON'T COME NEAR ME WITH THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE!!! GET AWA-ACK!!" Zelgadis turned and fled for the safety of the inn.
"Oh, no, you get back here!!!" //said members are now running towards the inn//
Long pause. "DO you think you'd be safer in THERE?!" //various screams and other sounds can be heard from the inn//
"Uh…"
"Got you! MWA HA HA HA HA!!" glomp
"CRAP! I fell for it…"
giggle
//switch to inn//
Xelloss' and Minea's Room
"Stay THERE!"
"No!" glomp
"AAH! Stop it! Get offa me!"
"No!!"
//Minea kisses Xelloss on the cheek, causing him to pass out from shock//
"Yay! My teddy bear Mazoku!!"
//Minea snuggles in bed with her unconscious Xelloss//
Zelgadis' and Leri's Room
Click. Click. Click.
Slurp.
Click Click Click.
"Ugha……."
Click Click Click
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!"
Long pause. Click Click Click.
THUD! "Zel-chan?"
"WHAT?"
"Step on this." Leri put a scale on the floor.
"///_O\\…….."
"Hmm….okay 483……thats what I thought."
"///_O\\;;;;;;;"
glomp "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
//switch to Minea and Xelloss' room//
//Hmm…sleeping peacefully. But apparently Xelloss has unconsciously snuggled to Minea and is now sleeping peacefully.
Aww, how sweet! I'm getting cavities just from thinking about it.//
//Back to Leri and Zelgadis//
"Come on, it won't break! I made it so that it can stand up to twice your weight!"
"NO! It will break! They always break!"
"Fine." Glomp //Leri drags Zelgadis to the bed and forces him down on it. Surprise!! It doesn't break! Wow.//
"///_O\\….it didn't break…? YAY! BED! ///_^\\!!!!"
glomp "Knew ya'd like it Zel-chan!"
"///_O\\….shouldn't you be on the floor?"
"No! I'm sleeping with you!"
"Oh…God…."
In Amelia's room
"Those lost people are weird…" she said thoughtfully.
"Now where's a mirror?"
"YA!" //Amelia is now playing make up on herself..//
Lina and Gourry's room
Zzzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzzzz………zzzzzzzzzzzzz………..zzzzzzzzzz……..zzzzzzzzzzzzz
//Next morning at breakfast//
Lina, Gourry, and Amelia-"SNARF GOBBLE GULP SNORT GOBBLE SNARF GULP"
Leri and Zelgadis-Coffee time.
Xelloss and Minea - ^_^
"Hey, Zel-chan?"
"Yeah?"
"Good coffee, huh?"
"…Yeah…"
"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOURRY! THAT'S MY PANCAKE!! GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE"
"So, what do you do Minea-chan? ||^_^||"
"Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^"
"I think I like you, Minea-chan ||^_^||"
"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE"
slurp "Want some bacon, Zel-chan?" Leri said nabbing some real food from the table.
"Uhhhhhhhhh no thanks!"
"But you have to eat!"
"Noo….."
"Yes, you do." Leri said sticking some bacon in his mouth.
"N-ump…" chewing
"….."
"Like it?"
"….more please?"
"So…how would like to meet my mistress, Minea-chan? ||^_^||"
"Maybe later when I'm more awake, kay? ^_^"
"Kay. ||^_^||"
"I wonder if Xelloss-san is being controlled by Minea-san?"
"No, Amelia. GOBBLE I think he genuinely likes her GOBBLE"
"Oh…GOBBLE"
Click Click Click.
"Ugh…"
//after breakfast//
"I'm stuffed, what about you Gourry?"
"LOOKIE!!!!" Minea flew over in direction dragging Xelloss with her.
"I know that look!" Leri chirped, grabbed Zelgadis' hand and starting running in same direction.
"Umm.."
"Might as well follow them." /the three remaining nodding and ran off in the same direction//
"A BEACH!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!!" Minea squealed. Unglomping for once and dragging the girls into the nearest bathroom to get changed.
"Beach beach beach beach beach beach.." Minea chanted, using her powers to change into her rather revealing blue bikini, then returning to glomp Xelloss.
Xelloss-fighting off nosebleed
Leri ran into the bathroom, changing into her green bikini. "What do you think of this, Zel-chan?"
Zelgadis-Joins Xelloss into the fight against nosebleeds
//quick rundown of outfits//
Lina-Purple one-piece
Amelia-Pink connected two-piece
Gourry-Purple swim trunks
Zelgadis-Green swim trunks
Xelloss-Blue swim trunks
Minea-Blue non-connected two piece
Leri-Green non-connected two piece
//back to the fun!//
"YOU"RE NOT GOING TO USE ME AS AN ANCHOR!"
"We're not going all the way in…" Leri said dragging him close to the reef.
THUD! "You wouldn't sit." Leri said simply while Zel-san just remained glaring.
//said girl makes drip sand castles//
"uhh.."
Drip drip drip
"Leri?"
Drip drip drip
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT????"
"And do what? Are you jealous of the sand castles, Zel-chan?"
"I'm not jealous!! They just can't have you!!"
"And you say you're not jealous."
"///_O\\….uuygh..umm..erk..uh, oh damn…"
"You ARE!! You're jealous for me?? That's so sweet, Zel-chan!!" glomp
"Damn."
//meanwhile…//
"Xel-chan! Let's swim!! ^_^"
"Uh…" //still fighting off vestiges of earlier nosebleed// "Is that…wise?"
"It's a beach! You're SUPPOSED to swim!!"
"||O_O||…" //Heh heh heh…hiding something, are we Xel-chan? evil laugh//
"Um…AAAH!" Minea grabbed Xelloss and ran full speed for the water.
Splash Splash Splash
"I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
"You can touch the bottom Xel-chan."
"Oh."
Glomp "I'll teach you, Xel-chan!!!"
//nosebleed// "Uigh..do youb dink dat woub be wize?" //Anything else you're hiding Xel? more evil laughter//
"Yes!! ^_^"
"ah..Dobkay…"
"Um..maybe we should wait until that nosebleed stops, eh Xel-chan? It looks bad.."
"No! I'lb be vine!"
"Okay!! ^_^"
Swimming Lessons With Minea!!!
"Okay, just close your eyes Xel-chan and lean back!"
"My eyes are already closed and I'm not leaning back into water!"
"Do it!"
"||O_O|| hai, hai…"
splash
"Hack…cough…splutter..You were supposed to hold me, Minea-chan!!!!"
"Heh heh…I got distracted..^_^;;;;;"
sigh
"Fine then!" grab
"ACK!! ||O_O||!!!!!"
"Now just relax, Xel-chan!"
"I'm drowning!! AAAHHHH!!!! HELP ME!!!"
smack "Calm down!"
"Hai…"
Now, take a deep breath and just lay on your back like you would on a bed."
"Oh..my…"
//Meanwhile//
"I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
"You can with those." Leri said pointing at the mechanical flippers.
being dragged further "I SINK!!!"
"hey…" //Zelgadis dog paddles around.//
"I can swim!! Yay!! ///_^\\!!!" flippers jam in his ecstatic happy dance
"Oh, shi-"
sinks like..well, a rock
"ZEL-CHAN!! NOOOO!!" grabs him and drags him to the shore
Zel-///_@\\
"Oh no!! I've killed him!!!!"
"Hack…cough…I'm…not sinking…splutter.."
"ZEL-CHAN!!!" glomp
"///_-\\"
~TBC~
AN: Stupid, utterly pointless, and no plot. Don't we love self-insertions? I still need socks...