"It's Gonna Be Me" Part Five: Sad Choices and Reluctant Decisions
***
Relena awoke in a gleaming white hospital room. Everything was white; the sheets, the pillows, the curtain, the floor. There was beautiful sunlight streaming through the window to her left. She remembered being attacked by a wolf after running from Heero. What is today? Ooh, when I get my hands on Heero... Oh no! Heero! Suddenly everything came rushing back to her. Heero saving her, the bite on his hand, the tears in his eyes as he knelt over her to -- to what? Relena didn't know what he was going to do. But that didn't matter. She also remembered a guard shooting Heero in the side. "Paegan! Doctor! Quatre! Ms. Noin! Nurse! Guards! Someone, please answer me!" she yelled. To meet her request, everyone she had called for came barging into the room at once. It was a jumble of "Are you all right?" "Are you okay?" "How are you feeling?" "Can I get you anything?" She sat open mouthed at all the commotion. "Stop!" she cried, exasperated. "Paegan, how long have I been unconscious?"
"Nine days, Miss Relena." he answered. He looked on her with the carrying eyes of a would-be father.
"Thank you. I'm all right Paegan." Relena said, she couldn't help but smile at his sincere concern. "Quatre, where is Heero?" Everyone was quiet. Time seemed to stand still. Everyone looked at the ground, except Ms. Noin. Ms. Noin looked sadly at Princess Relena Peacecraft through the fringe of navy blue hair tossed in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Relena. Heero Yuy is in intensive care. The shot wound in his side is deep. When he hit the ground, he gave himself a good concussion. Possibly amnesia, we're not sure yet. He's in a coma at the moment. I'm so sorry my men were so clumsy." explained Ms. Noin, bowing her head in apology.
Relena looked at the people gathered around her in stunned silence. "He's in a coma?" she repeated, not believing the words she heard. The doctor and the others all nodded their heads in affirmation. There were murmured yeses and apologies. "No... No... No! This can't be true! This can't happen! It's not supposed to happen this way! He's not supposed to die because he saved me! NO! NO! NO!" she cried. She slumped back in her bed and sobbed, wrenching the hearts of the ones watching. They turned away and filed out, one by one, until the only ones left were Paegan, Quatre and Ms. Noin. Noin shut the door and guarded it against intruders. No one was going to interrupt Ms. Relena's grieving. Paegan sat beside her, murmuring worthless words of comfort, holding her in his arms like a protective father. Quatre sat on the side of her bed, crying, murmuring along with Paegan.
Ugh, Quatre thought sadly, love hurts like hell.
***
Relena progressed in health over the next few weeks, while Heero stayed exactly the same. He slept with no waking time in sight. Oh Heero, Relena thought one hot July morning, please wake up. Come back. I want you here with me... she trailed off in thought as her doctor came to lead her back to her room, explaining that she could leave soon, thinking that that would cheer her up. Before she left, Relena laid a gentle kiss on Heero's lips. For love, and for good-bye if I never see you again...
***
Relena was asleep in her bed when a clatter outside her room awoke her. She sat up, startled. "Who's there?" she demanded. She was frightened, and she pulled the covers up tightly around her bare skin. The doctors had wanted her wounds to breathe so she was requested to sleep with nothing on. At light of this request, she herself had requested something. A female doctor. "If any man is to see me wearing nothing, it certainly won't be you!" she had said to the surprised doctor. The door to her hospital room opened and in it stood a sagging figure. The man leaned heavily on the door for support. "What do you want?" she asked him, utterly terrified. "I'll call the guards if you come near me!" The man swayed as if he were going to fall then stumbled into the room, catching him on the end of her bed, he shut her door, and once again the room was dark. "What do you want? Who are you? Don't touch me!" she screamed. The mysterious young man stumbled closer. He was using the bed to guide himself.
"R -- R -- Relena?" he asked. The word came out careful and labored. The young man collapsed onto the side of her bed, his head falling onto her stomach. Through the blanket, she could feel his labored breathing. "Relena?" he asked again, turning his head to face her in the dark. Through the gloom, she could just make out a tuft of wild dark hair and slim but strong arms with no shirt to cover them. He looked up at her with two round, confused eyes that reflected what little light was in the room.
"Heero?" she asked, scared that the answer would be no, or that she would wake up suddenly, lying in her hospital bed, without Heero.
"Relena..." he mumbled. He clung to her, as if for dear life. He buried his head in her chest and blankets crying, begging for comfort. Relena wrapped her arms around him, holding him, gently rocking, crying along with him, happy that he was there with her. Suddenly, as if a dam on a river had broken, he spilled everything. He told of his dream, of his heartless killing, of the slaughter of the only mother he had ever known, lovely and loving Ms. Monica Lynn. And then, taking the breath from her in horror, he said this: "Relena, you are lucky. You have retained your innocence. I have not. I lost it so long ago. Dr. J sent me on a mission when I was seven, to infiltrate and destroy an Alliance military base. I went in, I set the explosives, and I blew up the complex. I turned around and was surrounded by large, evil soldiers. They grabbed me roughly and towed me to head quarters. I was interrogated, but I said nothing. They sat me in an isolated chamber with one of their top interrogators. He was top because he would do anything to get what he wanted. I refused to talk; I refused to let out a sound, not even of pain. But, he did it. I didn't talk, but he made me scream. He hurt me, badly. He scared me, he took my innocence. I passed out, sometime during his painful 'interrogation'. I woke up in a room, with Monica sitting beside me, a worried expression on her face. She asked if I was all right and I said, 'I was raped.'" Heero stopped suddenly, sobbing uncontrollably. After a while, he began to shake and his crying stopped. "Relena, it's coming back. I'm going to go back into the coma. Relena, please, find my family, send me home." Heero passed out, his pulse slowing his breathing evening. Relena held him and cried, swearing she would do as he asked.
***
The next morning the doctors took Heero into his room. Quatre, Paegan, and Ms. Noin stayed behind to talk. Relena looked them straight in the eye and said, "This is one of the hardest things I will ever have to say and one of the most painful decisions. Noin, search all of our files, as well as Romefellar's, and the colonies' for any trace of Heero's family. Even though it will hurt me to see him leave, I want him sent home, to the colonies. I want him back with his family, just like he asked." Relena sat down and cried, thinking this the last she would ever see of her beloved Heero Yuy.
***
There comes a day
When I'll be the one
You'll see
It's gonna...it's gonna be me
***
***
Relena awoke in a gleaming white hospital room. Everything was white; the sheets, the pillows, the curtain, the floor. There was beautiful sunlight streaming through the window to her left. She remembered being attacked by a wolf after running from Heero. What is today? Ooh, when I get my hands on Heero... Oh no! Heero! Suddenly everything came rushing back to her. Heero saving her, the bite on his hand, the tears in his eyes as he knelt over her to -- to what? Relena didn't know what he was going to do. But that didn't matter. She also remembered a guard shooting Heero in the side. "Paegan! Doctor! Quatre! Ms. Noin! Nurse! Guards! Someone, please answer me!" she yelled. To meet her request, everyone she had called for came barging into the room at once. It was a jumble of "Are you all right?" "Are you okay?" "How are you feeling?" "Can I get you anything?" She sat open mouthed at all the commotion. "Stop!" she cried, exasperated. "Paegan, how long have I been unconscious?"
"Nine days, Miss Relena." he answered. He looked on her with the carrying eyes of a would-be father.
"Thank you. I'm all right Paegan." Relena said, she couldn't help but smile at his sincere concern. "Quatre, where is Heero?" Everyone was quiet. Time seemed to stand still. Everyone looked at the ground, except Ms. Noin. Ms. Noin looked sadly at Princess Relena Peacecraft through the fringe of navy blue hair tossed in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Relena. Heero Yuy is in intensive care. The shot wound in his side is deep. When he hit the ground, he gave himself a good concussion. Possibly amnesia, we're not sure yet. He's in a coma at the moment. I'm so sorry my men were so clumsy." explained Ms. Noin, bowing her head in apology.
Relena looked at the people gathered around her in stunned silence. "He's in a coma?" she repeated, not believing the words she heard. The doctor and the others all nodded their heads in affirmation. There were murmured yeses and apologies. "No... No... No! This can't be true! This can't happen! It's not supposed to happen this way! He's not supposed to die because he saved me! NO! NO! NO!" she cried. She slumped back in her bed and sobbed, wrenching the hearts of the ones watching. They turned away and filed out, one by one, until the only ones left were Paegan, Quatre and Ms. Noin. Noin shut the door and guarded it against intruders. No one was going to interrupt Ms. Relena's grieving. Paegan sat beside her, murmuring worthless words of comfort, holding her in his arms like a protective father. Quatre sat on the side of her bed, crying, murmuring along with Paegan.
Ugh, Quatre thought sadly, love hurts like hell.
***
Relena progressed in health over the next few weeks, while Heero stayed exactly the same. He slept with no waking time in sight. Oh Heero, Relena thought one hot July morning, please wake up. Come back. I want you here with me... she trailed off in thought as her doctor came to lead her back to her room, explaining that she could leave soon, thinking that that would cheer her up. Before she left, Relena laid a gentle kiss on Heero's lips. For love, and for good-bye if I never see you again...
***
Relena was asleep in her bed when a clatter outside her room awoke her. She sat up, startled. "Who's there?" she demanded. She was frightened, and she pulled the covers up tightly around her bare skin. The doctors had wanted her wounds to breathe so she was requested to sleep with nothing on. At light of this request, she herself had requested something. A female doctor. "If any man is to see me wearing nothing, it certainly won't be you!" she had said to the surprised doctor. The door to her hospital room opened and in it stood a sagging figure. The man leaned heavily on the door for support. "What do you want?" she asked him, utterly terrified. "I'll call the guards if you come near me!" The man swayed as if he were going to fall then stumbled into the room, catching him on the end of her bed, he shut her door, and once again the room was dark. "What do you want? Who are you? Don't touch me!" she screamed. The mysterious young man stumbled closer. He was using the bed to guide himself.
"R -- R -- Relena?" he asked. The word came out careful and labored. The young man collapsed onto the side of her bed, his head falling onto her stomach. Through the blanket, she could feel his labored breathing. "Relena?" he asked again, turning his head to face her in the dark. Through the gloom, she could just make out a tuft of wild dark hair and slim but strong arms with no shirt to cover them. He looked up at her with two round, confused eyes that reflected what little light was in the room.
"Heero?" she asked, scared that the answer would be no, or that she would wake up suddenly, lying in her hospital bed, without Heero.
"Relena..." he mumbled. He clung to her, as if for dear life. He buried his head in her chest and blankets crying, begging for comfort. Relena wrapped her arms around him, holding him, gently rocking, crying along with him, happy that he was there with her. Suddenly, as if a dam on a river had broken, he spilled everything. He told of his dream, of his heartless killing, of the slaughter of the only mother he had ever known, lovely and loving Ms. Monica Lynn. And then, taking the breath from her in horror, he said this: "Relena, you are lucky. You have retained your innocence. I have not. I lost it so long ago. Dr. J sent me on a mission when I was seven, to infiltrate and destroy an Alliance military base. I went in, I set the explosives, and I blew up the complex. I turned around and was surrounded by large, evil soldiers. They grabbed me roughly and towed me to head quarters. I was interrogated, but I said nothing. They sat me in an isolated chamber with one of their top interrogators. He was top because he would do anything to get what he wanted. I refused to talk; I refused to let out a sound, not even of pain. But, he did it. I didn't talk, but he made me scream. He hurt me, badly. He scared me, he took my innocence. I passed out, sometime during his painful 'interrogation'. I woke up in a room, with Monica sitting beside me, a worried expression on her face. She asked if I was all right and I said, 'I was raped.'" Heero stopped suddenly, sobbing uncontrollably. After a while, he began to shake and his crying stopped. "Relena, it's coming back. I'm going to go back into the coma. Relena, please, find my family, send me home." Heero passed out, his pulse slowing his breathing evening. Relena held him and cried, swearing she would do as he asked.
***
The next morning the doctors took Heero into his room. Quatre, Paegan, and Ms. Noin stayed behind to talk. Relena looked them straight in the eye and said, "This is one of the hardest things I will ever have to say and one of the most painful decisions. Noin, search all of our files, as well as Romefellar's, and the colonies' for any trace of Heero's family. Even though it will hurt me to see him leave, I want him sent home, to the colonies. I want him back with his family, just like he asked." Relena sat down and cried, thinking this the last she would ever see of her beloved Heero Yuy.
***
There comes a day
When I'll be the one
You'll see
It's gonna...it's gonna be me
***