FOR ALL MY PAST SINS
(Warriors of Destiny and Fate
Saga)
Written by: Twinstar
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss
In this universe Riley and Tara
do not exist.
This is the first part of my
Warriors of Destiny and Fate series.
This is Angel's POV. He and Buffy have to work together so that
they can try to stop the "End of Days." They don't realize that there will be heartache and pain along the way
to achieve ultimate happiness.
This accompanies my stories My
Heart's Desire and Towards The Sun.
Please send me feedback at twinstar_dust@hotmail.com
Enjoy!
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The day has finally arrived,
when my fate and destiny are determined. I have been waiting for it to come for so long that I don't really know
how to comprehend it all.
Doyle
had one of his visions from the Powers and instead of a blinding headache he
was put into a trance. Usually all
three of us; Doyle, Cordelia and I, are present in the room when the message
arrives. This time the Powers made sure
that the message was for my ears and my ears alone.
"Warrior. The final day has shown itself. Prepare yourself. All your strength and courage are needed. You must join with your other half and
together conquer the evil that is rising up to take supremacy of the
earth. The demons are gathering
together to take back the realm that once was theirs to rule. All humans are in grave danger and only the
two destined ones can save humankind."
"What
am I to do? Please tell me. None of your cloaked innuendoes I can't
spend wasted time trying to decipher your intentions." I answer back to them.
"You
warrior must go back to where you came from, back to her, back to
Sunnydale. Once you are there then you
will know your tasks. We must warn you,
there will be tests of your strength, courage, character, and your bond with
the slayer. There will be a moment of
darkness that you must face and make a monumental choice. The only help we can offer, is that at your
most hopeless hour, look into the light and your path will be made clear. There will be pain and sorrow but the end
result will be your redemption. Go now
and tell the others to make preparations for your journey back to hell."
I'm
huddled back in the back seat of my convertible with the top up. Doyle and Cordelia are taking turns
driving. I couldn't take the chance to
wait for sundown, every minute counted. We are heading back to everything that
I ran away from. Will things be
different? I haven't laid eyes on her
face since that day that was taken back. She looked so angry and I had no words to explain, to comfort and to
make right what she had forgotten. Does
she still love me? Will she put aside
her feelings so that we can work together? Can I be near her and not hold her in my arms and beg for her to
remember?
I must
be strong, focused in my goal; all our lives depended on it. I cannot waste this opportunity to get back
all that I've lost. This could be my
redemption for my past sins. I have a
chance to be in the sun with her again, she is my salvation.
We
just passed the sign "Welcome To Sunnydale" and Cordelia is telling Doyle all
about the sites we come across. I take
a deep breath and at once I feel alive. That must be a strange thing for a vampire to think about. But whenever I am near Buffy my soul seems
to be reaching out to her. I feel
tormented that I can't be with her but I also feel at peace because I can feel
her presence.
We
head over to Giles, Buffy's Watcher's house to try to explain why we are
here. I knock on the door and Giles
answers. When he sees us he looks at us
with recognition and says, "I knew you would come." I look perplexed that he wasn't surprised that we showed up at his
door. Cordelia and I introduce him to
Doyle and then we start to explain why we were there.
"I got
a message from the Powers That Be that we are needed here in Sunnydale" I
started off saying.
"Well
yes, I can see that. We have been
experiencing a lot of demon activity recently" Giles says in his usual rambling
voice.
"Can
you tell us if anything else unusual is happening or why there is more
activity?" asked Doyle trying to assess the situation.
"They
seem more restless. Like as if they are
waiting for something to happen. We do
have a problem at the moment. A being
named Glory is searching for the Key. We have no idea why. Recently
the council gave us some information about Glory because she seems to be very
powerful that even Buffy is having a hard time. Apparently she is some God. We are trying to research some weaknesses that we can use against
her. So far we have not found any."
I
think to myself, that this must be serious for them to go back to the
council. Giles got fired and Buffy quit
when she didn't want to do the council's bidding. They promised each other that
they would never go back to them. Them
asking the council for help is not a good sign. This Glory must be the instrument of the "end of days" that the
Powers described and he must help Buffy fight her.
"I'll
go over to the dorms to talk to Buffy about the situation. I don't know how to stop her but I think I
know why she wants the Key."
Giles
interrupted by saying that Buffy moved back home to be with her mom, who
recently had an operation to remove a tumor from her brain. She wanted to be close to her mom and her
sister Dawn if they needed anything. Why didn't she contact me about her mom? Is she still mad at me? Does she not think I would care? Dawn, her sister, how come that sounds alien to me?
I'm so
close to seeing my beloved again. The
short walk to the house door seems like it's taking forever. I hesitate for a moment and I then I knock
on the door. The door slowly opens and
Buffy started saying something, which got stuck in her throat.
"Angel...what
are you doing in my neck of the woods. No pun intended."
I look
at her face and just stare. I have a
hard time finding the right words. I
want to tell her that I came because of her and that I was never going to leave
her again. Instead I tell her that we
had work to do and we had to do it together.
Later
at Giles' the gang is gathered around the table exchanging ideas and occasional
laughs. I look around and it's like old
times. Willow (a practicing witch) in
her soft shy demeanor trying to explain some spell that might help that she
read in a book. Oz, her steady
boyfriend who happens to be a werewolf holding her hand to give her added
confidence. Zander, the joker in the
group making comments usually at my expense by calling me "deadboy". Anya his girlfriend, who is an ex-revenge
demon, saying things that usually go unsaid but I remember she's still learning
human tack. I was surprised to see
Spike in the group but as Buffy informed me that since he got de-fanged he has
been hanging around them like a lost puppy and occasionally helping out. If I think about it, the whole Scooby Gang
is weird. So me being a vampire with a
soul and in love with the Slayer shouldn't be a surprise.
While
the others were talking I would occasionally glance at Buffy and when our eyes
met I would quickly turn away like a schoolboy. I better get a hold of my feelings or I will hamper this volatile
situation instead of helping it. We
decided if we were all going to work as a team again all the cards should be
placed on the table. Buffy informed me
that the Key that Glory was looking for was in the form of her sister
Dawn. She thought I would be surprised
at this revelation, but it explained why I got a funny vibe from her
earlier. In turn I tell her about what
the Powers told me. How we, Buffy and
I, are the chosen warriors and that we must save the world from becoming a demon
domain once again.
"No
biggie. We have saved the world
countless times before, this will be a piece of cake." Buffy responded while
twirling Mr.Pointy in her hand.
I wish
I could be that carefree about what we were about to do. Instead I act like I always do,
straightforward with some brooding mixed in. I think that's why Buffy and I go well together as a couple and as a
team. We complement each other's
attributes; we are each other's better half. I have to smile to myself. This
is what I truly miss, the feeling of wholeness when she is by my side. I want to tell her about the promise the
Powers stated if we complete this task. I stop myself because it's going to be hard enough without adding the
burden of her knowing that my humanity is at stake.
While
the others are doing research to find any weaknesses that Glory might
have. Buffy and I patrol the graveyard
to reacquaint our fighting skills with each other. It also kept us busy so we don't dwell on the task ahead of us in
trying to fight a God. We have fought
all kinds of demons but never a God before. How are we going to defeat her? I was just finishing that thought in my head when who should
miraculously appear?
"Hey
Buf, who's the hunk you have there? Is
he another pretty face or does he have other qualifications?"
I turn
my head towards a seemingly sweet normal girl and put on my game face.
"I
gather you must be Glory. Do you like
my face now?
"Oooo,
I'm shaking in my boots. This is
interesting. A Slayer keeping company
with a vampire of all things, isn't there a rule against that in the Slayer
handbook? You have an incredible sense
of fashion for the un-dead. I think you
are on the wrong team my boy. You are a
demon therefore you belong with me, my handsome one. Do you want some time to get here, over to the winning side?"
"No
thank-you. I'm content where I am
now. By the way I think I am on the
winning side."
I give
the first blow and Glory doesn't even flinch. She starts laughing and touches my face.
"Is
that the best you have to offer? Maybe
it is a good idea that you stay with Buf. I do not like any losers on my team."
I
shake off her hand and land a few more blows. I realize that she's toying with me and that I'm not hurting her one
bit. Buffy tries her stuff and nothing
happens either except more laughter from Glory.
I
remember the Powers saying that the strength of the two will defeat the "end of
days" which apparently comes in the form of Glory. I signal to Buffy that we have to work as a team. We both landed a forceful kick that sends
her flying through the air. Glory just
gets up and laughs and I have a foreboding feeling that we were in
trouble. We didn't hurt her one bit,
not even a tiny scratch.
"Now
it's my turn little kiddies. I'm going
to make you pay for ripping my dress. This is an original and now I have to throw it out. It took me a long time to find this
outfit. You are now in the big
leagues. Let's have some serious fun!"
We
were losing the fight fast. Buffy was
bloody and bruised and I wasn't in great shape either. I was lost; I had no knowledge how we were
going to win or even get away alive. It
cannot happen this way. I sacrificed my
humanity so that Buffy didn't have to die and here I am helping her but I still
didn't make a difference. How can this
be? Were the Powers and Fates wrong? Did they plan all along that we get
beaten? Is this happening entirely just
for their amusement? Are we just pawns
in their sick little game?
Just
as I thought we were done for, Glory stops fighting and gloats, "I'm having
loads of fun here but the time is not right yet. Go home and lick your wounds I'll be coming after you two
soon." Like a queen dismissing her
subjects she says no more but just walks away.
Buffy
clings to me due to a combination of fatigue and wanting some emotional support.
"Angel…I'm
scared. We pulled all the punches and
we still had no effect on her at all. I
thought you fighting with me would make a difference but it hasn't. You better leave and go back to L.A where
you will be safe."
I
caress her bruised cheek and answer back, "I'll never leave your side
again. If anything happens I want us to
be together. I could never live without
you. You are my heart and you create a
purpose to my being on this earth. As a
team we can accomplish anything so I'm staying right here with you."
"I'm
glad you feel that way because I'm never going to let you go again. We tried our best to stay away and we both
were miserable. I know in my gut that
we are meant to be together."
I take
her hand in mine and we walk back to Giles' to report our news to the rest of
the gang. We better find out Glory's
weakness and soon.
I'm
alone doing my meditation exercises in the mansion that I once called
home. This is the place where Buffy
sent me to hell and this is also the place where I came back to heal. I need time alone to think and re-focus on
things. Glory is stronger than I
thought. I didn't want to worry Buffy
but when we were losing that fight with Glory I was getting scared. The thought of Buffy paying for my past sins
rattled my centre. I cannot shake from
my thoughts that Glory being here is due to the Powers and Fates. I cannot bear if anything happened to my
beloved. Whatever sins I committed in
the past are my sins and no one else's. I have a feeling that it will get a lot worse in the days ahead. I hope I am strong enough to face the
challenge. I must protect Buffy with
all my might and even if it leads to my death I cannot let anything happen to
her. The Powers are playing a game with
my "life" and with the lives of people I care about. I will not trade Buffy's life even for my being human again; I
would rather walk in eternal damnation. It has to stop; I will not let anyone pay for my past sins…
To be
continued.