Part Two: The Sweetest Noise
* * *
Disclaimer:
Rights to Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou belong to Masami Tsuda (manga), Hideaki Anno (anime) of Gainax and Right Stuff (anime - US release).
Spoiler Warnings:
This fanfic is inspired by (what will be) Volume 11 of the tankubon.
Note:
Words and phrases in italics = thoughts
* * *
Tsubaki didn't understand why everyone in the normally cheerful Miyazawa household was somber.
"Did someone die?" She whispered to Kano.
Kano shook her head.
"Kazuma just left. Tsubasa and Yukino are in the room."
It was explanation enough.
Tsubaki wasn't sure how she would handle the situation. She had thought the problem would be solved and Tsubasa would now be packing her things and getting ready to go home.
She glanced at her watch. Good thing I decided to leave the house earlier. She was planning to meet Tonami after stopping by to check on Yukino and Tsubasa.
Tsubaki could hear Yukino's voice through the door. She could also hear muffled sobbing. She sighed and slid the door open.
"Tsubaki! Thank God you're here." Yukino could not hide her relief.
Tsubasa wiped away her tears and looked at her oldest, closest friend loom over her. "You can't make me go home."
Tsubaki resisted the urge to lecture and wag her finger at Tsubasa. It looks like this is affecting her more seriously than expected.
"I was wondering if you would like to go out with Tonami and me."
This was not what Tsubasa expected. "What did you say?"
Tsubaki walked over to the window and pulled the curtains apart. She squinted a little as the bright sun streamed into the room. "It's a beautiful day. I'm meeting Tonami in an hour. We're going to the park." She turned to Yukino. "You can call Arima and tell him to join us."
Yukino understood what Tsubaki's plan was. Why hadn't I thought of this? "Okay. I think he doesn't have kendo practice this morning."
"Invite Asaba, too. Aya and Rika can't make it, though. Aya is busy writing a novel and Rika is preparing a cake for her mother's party tonight."
Tsubaki went over to Tsubasa. "You -- take a bath and change out of your pajamas. I'm sure you brought extra clothes with you." She pulled Tsubasa up and nudged her towards the direction of the bathroom. "Hurry up. Yukinon will want to bathe too, you know."
* * *
Tonami Takefumi was planning on spending a quiet Saturday afternoon with his girlfriend. He grumbled a bit when people started showing up at his house. Tsubaki poked him in the ribs -- a silent command for him to stop grumbling. He put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her tight to keep her from poking him again.
He was glad that Tsubaki decided to help Tsubasa forget about her problem and was secretly proud of her initiative.
They had decided to go to the park to watch a skateboarding exhibition -- hoping that it would cheer Tsubasa.
Skateboarding was one of Tsubasa's favorite activities. She used to skateboard and do stunts until she got into an accident before the start of the school year. Now, she only enjoys the sport from the sidelines.
"Now, Shibahime. I don't want to see you cry today. Okay?" Arima patted Tsubasa's head, as was his habit.
Tsubasa nodded. She wasn't really paying attention to what Arima was saying. Her thoughts were elsewhere.
"Arima, worry about impressing and entertaining Yukino. I'll take care of Tsubasa." Asapin announced as he took hold of Tsubasa's hand. He winked at her and gave her his most heart-melting smile.
Arima's eyes widened at Asaba Hideaki's suggestion. He was about to shout at his friend when Yukino pulled at his arm.
"Let Asapin take care of Tsubasa today. She doesn't need to be mothered or treated like a child. Asapin will know what to do."
"You're right." Arima smiled at his girlfriend and leaned over to give her a peck on the cheek.
"Hey, not in public you two!" Tsubaki jokingly shouted. Tonami's chuckled and half-heartedly tried to cover Tsubaki's mouth with his hand, which she in turn bit.
* * *
Kazuma grumbled and cursed all the way to his house. He ignored the concerned look on his mother's face when he entered the house.
He didn't realize it, but he went straight to Tsubasa's room and slammed the door behind him.
He started to pace the length of the room. Damn her. Why is she making this so difficult for me? Only when he kicked the stuffed teddy bear did her realize where he was. How did I get here?
He breathed in the scent of the room -- a familiar scent. It was a mixture of Tsubasa's perfume and soap. He sat on the edge of her bed, afraid to disturb the stuffed animals arranged neatly on it. He breathed in the scent again. Tsubasa.
He lay back, oblivious to the squeak and thump the stuffed animals made as they fell to the floor. He closed his eyes. I need her back. Emotional exhaustion and lack of sleep from the night before set in, before he knew it, he was sound asleep.
* * *
Tsubaki sneaked a glance over to where Asapin and Tsubasa were seated. Asapin was making funny faces and giving ridiculous commentaries about the skateboarders and Tsubasa was laughing.
Tsubaki was relieved to see her friend laugh. She made a mental note to treat herself to ice cream and cake later. I did well today. She leaned her head on Tonami's shoulder and sighed in contentment.
"This was a good idea. You did well today." Tonami whispered and kissed the top of Tsubaki's head.
Tsubaki smiled and wrapped her arms around Tonami. "I was just thinking that."
"A far cry from how you helped me when we were younger." Tonami couldn't help but tease his girlfriend.
"I wasn't that bad."
"Yes, you were but I loved you anyway." Tonami placed his arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze. "And I love you now."
* * *
Tsubasa initially resisted Asaba's charms. She tried to hold in her laughter and maintain a bored look throughout the exhibition. They're not going to make me forget about my problem that easily. But after the first ten minutes in Asaba's company, she began to understand why the women liked him so much. He was very solicitous and good-natured. She genuinely enjoyed being with him.
"Hey, Tsubasa. Want some more ice cream? We still haven't tried the butter pecan."
She giggled. Earlier, Asaba had announced that they would try all 101 flavors of ice cream from the park's ice cream stand. They had already tried 50.
"I think I'll pass."
"You sure? We only have 51 flavors to go." Asaba glanced at his watch. "And we still have enough time to eat."
She shook her head emphatically.
"Well, I guess we can eat the other 51 some other time."
Somehow, the prospect of another day with Asaba didn't sound that bad. "Yeah, some other time."
They quietly watched the rest of the exhibition. Tsubasa would gasp in excitement now and then when a skater performed a daredevil stunt.
During the intermission, Yukino and Arima decided to take a walk and stretch their legs. Tonami and Tsubaki went to buy some food from the nearby convenience store.
Tsubasa and Asaba sat in companionable silence. Some girls had gathered around Asaba and declared their admiration for him. Asaba graciously accepted their compliments, but looked terribly embarrassed.
Tsubasa waited until the girls left. "Don't you ever get tired of their attention?"
Asaba gave an exaggerated groan.
"I'm serious. You do realize they only admire what they see on the surface."
Asaba hadn't known how discerning Tsubasa was. "I know." He said earnestly. He leaned back and rested on his elbows -- watched the clouds change shape and parade pass him. "But I also know how much courage it takes to admit to someone how you feel about them. I respect that, which is why I'm polite to them. I don't want to hurt their feelings, you know."
Tsubasa's eyes widened. She hadn't expected Asaba to be this deep thinking.
"And besides, how can I complete my merryland if I don't gather more women?" He gave Tsubasa a mischievous look.
Tsubasa laughed. She copied his pose and looked up at the clouds. She pointed at one of them and said, "That one looks like Yukino's dog."
"Hey, Tsubasa?"
Tsubasa turned to look at Asaba.
"I don't really know Kazuma that well, but he seems like a really nice guy. I know he honestly cares about you."
Tsubasa snorted.
"I just hope you give him time to work things out for himself. It isn't every day that opportunity like his band has been given happens, you know."
"I know." Tsubasa sat up and started wringing her hands. "But I just wish he'd pay a little attention to me. Even though I know how he feels about me, I need to hear the words, too... sometimes."
"But he does tell you."
Tsubasa gave Asaba a confused look. "How would you know?"
"He does it through his music." Asaba sat up and placed a hand on Tsubasa's shoulder. "Remember that night when we all went to their gig? If you listened closely, you'd have known he was singing to you."
"Yeah right--"
"You left before the show was over. He looked for you after and he was a little upset when he found out you had left already."
Asaba knew the exact moment Tsubasa became enlightened. He patted her on the shoulder. "You should listen more closely."
Tsubasa's eyes welled with tears. "I hadn't realized that. All this time..." She took the handkerchief that Asaba offered and started wiping the tears. She started twisting the handkerchief.
Asaba smiled and patted her on the head. "Now how about that ice cream?"
* * *
The nap had cleared his mind considerably. He left Tsubasa's room after he fixed the mess he made and went straight to his room.
It was an odd feeling to be in his room and not have Tsubasa knock on his door asking to come in. He had gotten so used to having her around him. Like air.
He looked at his calendar and realized his band had a gig that night. Somehow, the idea of playing music didn't excite him as much as it usually did. The thought bothered him.
Tsubasa's scent still clung to his memory. He remembered the first time he saw her. He had mistaken her for someone much younger, when she was, in fact, older than he was. He smiled as he recalled her reaction.
She has always been honest about her feelings... even then, when she still didn't know me. He stared at the ceiling -- hoping that some kind of miracle or plan would fall from the sky.
He stared for a long time. Why can't I be honest about her? He frowned. He didn't know what his honest feelings for her were.
He stood up and went to his desk to take out his journal. It was his way of making sense of things -- somehow, while writing down his thoughts, things always became clearer.
Minutes later, he was still tapping the pen -- nothing came to mind. He couldn't write. I need to be near her. He went back to Tsubasa's room.
He went straight to her desk and sat down with his journal.
He looked at the pictures she inserted under the glass counter. He had never noticed them before. There was a picture of him during her school's annual cultural festival. There was a picture of them on the boat in Tokyo. He smiled as he remembered the song he and Tsubasa sang so that they could make money for the boat fare.
Tsubasa. With her in mind, he started writing -- unwittingly humming that same song they had sung together in Tokyo.
* * *
While walking home, Yukino noticed the change in Tsubasa's demeanor. She was visibly more cheerful and was animatedly chatting with Arima.
"You were so sweet to cheer her up, Asapin."
"You know me -- can't resist women and can't be resisted by them either."
Yukino reached out and gently squeezed his arm. "Thank you."
Asaba glanced down at his best friend's girlfriend. "You're welcome." He called out to Arima and Tsubasa. "Hey, Arima! Why are you in such a hurry? Treat us to some drinks. I'm thirsty! Hey, Tsubasa, why don't you leave that boring person and come here."
The empty streets filled with the laughter of three people and the playful protests of one.
* * *
"Well, princess, just let me know when we're going to eat the remaining 49 flavors. I'm looking forward to trying the banana nut."
Tsubasa leaned on the Miyazawa gate and pretended to consider the invitation. "I'll have to check if my busy schedule would permit it."
Asaba laughed. "Well, just let me know." He turned to Yukino and Arima. "Hey, lovebirds, say goodbye already. I'm hungry and Arima is going to treat me to some sushi."
Tsubasa laughed and waited for Arima and Yukino to finish their conversation. She squatted on the ground as Yukino waved goodbye to Arima and Asaba.
When they got in, Yukino's mom offered them some warm tea that they gratefully accepted.
Yukino sat across the dining table from Tsubasa. She breathed in the aroma of the green tea that her mom had prepared.
"Hey, Yukino?"
"What is it, Tsubasa?"
"I've thanked Tsubaki and Asaba for today. I haven't thanked you yet."
Yukino reached over and took hold of Tsubasa's hand. "I'm glad you're feeling better now."
"I never expected Asaba Hideaki to be so..." She searched for the right word.
"Thoughtful? Generous? Funny?"
"All of those, actually. He isn't just a handsome face."
Yukino nearly choked on her tea. "Handsome?! Asapin?!" She rubbed her chin. "I suppose you're right. Half the school seems to think so." She added more seriously. "And the other half is still ogling my Arima." She muttered under her breath.
"I wouldn't worry about that. Arima loves you very much."
Yukino smiled -- her cheeks furiously red. She scratched her head. "I didn't think you'd notice."
Tsubasa took a sip of her tea. "It's quite obvious -- as obvious as Kazuma's feelings for me."
Yukino didn't know if she should say anything. She waited for Tsubasa to continue.
"Asaba pointed that out to me. I was so blind to it." She shook her head -- as though to correct herself. "I was so deaf to it."
"So what do you plan to do now?"
Tsubasa shrugged. "I really don't know." She gently placed the now-empty teacup on the tray.
"What I do know is that I want to go home tonight."
* * *
Kazuma couldn't concentrate on his music. He kept thinking about Tsubasa -- not even by playing the new Yinyang song could he erase his worries. His bandmates all cast him worried looks as he continuously missed his cues.
After the show, each one gave Kazuma a short pep talk.
"Cheer up, man. Everything will be okay as soon as you talk to her."
He gratefully accepted their encouragement, but his performance tonight kept nagging him. I wonder why I couldn't concentrate.
He remembered their last gig. He was in his element then. It was the night Tsubasa and her friends decided to watch the show. He remembered the exhilaration he felt then when he was playing for Tsubasa and her friends. What's missing this time?
Kazuma packed up his gear and headed home. His shoulders sagged at the thought of being alone in the house.
When he arrived, Kazuma glanced at the clock. His parents had left a note to say that they had to work late. Guess I'll be making my own dinner tonight. The thought depressed him.
It had been a long time since he had to do that for himself. Tsubasa would usually prepare their meals for them.
Tsubasa.
He went to the kitchen and frowned as the smell of curry wafted through the room.
He approached the kitchen cautiously -- not sure whom he would find there. His breath got caught in his throat as he discovered who it was.
Tsubasa heard him gasp and turned to look at him. "I made curry. Why don't you go set the table for us."
Is she really here? Still-in-shock Kazuma could only nod at the request.
He waited for her in the dining room. His palms were sweaty in anticipation. I can't mess this up. He was determined to make things right between him and Tsubasa.
She came in bringing a tray of curry and rice. She placed the dishes in front of him and sat down. They ate in silence -- the clink of the chopsticks hitting the bowl echoed through the room.
When they had finished eating, he stood and cleaned up the table. She could hear the bowls and plates rattle as they were being handled by nervous hands.
She sat there, quietly waiting for him to come back from the kitchen. I can't mess this up.
He returned a few minutes later, wiping his wet hands on the towel he was holding. "I washed the dishes for you."
Silence.
"Mom and Dad won't be home until late."
Silence.
"I'm sure they'd be glad to know that you're--"
"They already know. I called them from Yukino's house."
"I'm-- I-- uh-- I'm glad you're back." He ran his fingers through his hair -- a nervous habit. "I missed you." Idiot! That sounded lame. I just saw her this morning. She was only gone for the day and yet...
He stood and walked towards her. When he was just a few steps away, he reached over and embraced her. "I really did miss you."
He had realized at that moment what it was all along. Tsubasa was the reason for his music. He had told her what was in his heart. It may have sounded silly, but it made perfect sense to him.
Hearing his words, deep inside, she knew he was telling the truth. She knew it to be true. All day long she had felt an void that couldn't be filled by any of her friend's attention. But now, in his arms, she felt the void being filled by him, by his presence, by his words.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry."
He hugged her tighter. "I'm the one who needs to apologize."
She pulled away from him. "Kazuma, there's something I want to say. I gave this a great deal of thought on my way here." She started wringing her hands in nervousness.
He saw the nervous gesture and reached out to close his hands over hers. He waited for her to speak.
"I've been very selfish. I know how much your music means to you and I promise I won't get in your way anymore."
She jerked her hands away from his and cradled his face with them. She tilted his head down so she could look him in the eye. "What matters to me is what makes you happy."
Kazuma touched her hands as they held each side of his face. This feels so right. He peered into her green eyes and marveled at the devotion and love he saw there. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
That action momentarily stunned Tsubasa.
"I wrote something for you. I want you to read it."
"Oh?"
He still held her hand as they went to her room. He led her to the foot of the bed and let her sit as he went over to her desk and got his journal.
"What is your journal doing in my room?"
"I stayed here the whole day. I wanted to be near you."
"Oh." She blushed.
"Here." He handed her his journal -- unopened. He trusts me. The realization swept through her and made her feel ... loved.
"It's the last entry. It's just a draft. Tell me if you like it. Ignore the erasures."
She giggled as he rambled. She flipped to the last entry and read.
To Tsubasa, my muse and my song
How vulnerable you allow yourself to be
loving this angel with the missing wing
Why do you look at the ground and see the sparkle of the moonlight
and think they could be stars?
Where is your bliss?
Have you given it all to me?
Is that what makes me soar, despite my one wing?
I don't deserve it.
All my roads are yellow-bricked.
You make them golden.
She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Her shoulders shook with every hiccup.
"This is so... so beautiful."
He knelt down in front of her and brushed her tears away.
"You deserve it." She managed to say in between sniffs.
She saw that he didn't understand what she meant.
"You deserve my bliss and everything else that I can't offer but want to."
"And you deserve mine."
* * *
Author's notes:
1.
Q: How can two people ingest that much ice cream?
A: I can't imagine how. =)
But Tsubasa, in the anime, seems to have a good appetite (she's always seen eating).
Q: Is there something between Asaba and Tsubasa?
A: Friendship. I know I made it look like there was something going on between them, but it's all very friendly.
Q: Kazuma and Tsubasa: Isn't that incest?
A: They aren't blood-related. I think it's possible to love someone and not be "physically" involved with him or her.
- The poem at the end is a variation of something that I wrote. I altered, deleted and added to the poem to make it suit this fanfic. (The original poem is all about optimism and hope.)
"The Maddest Noise" (last part of this fic) is coming soon! ;-)