Just playing with my heart...
A/N: I hope
the story isn't too confusing. This chapter is a bit depressing.
First chapter is Ginny's POV:
I can't believe it. Harry Potter is on his way to my Graduation Ceremony. Why?
Sure I know Ron has invited him, because we had become close friends over the years, but I don't want to see him. Not since..
Flashback:
When
I was in the 5th class
my brother Ron has
fallen in love with Hermione. The
whole day they were running trough school with a goofy smile. First it was
funny to watch them and make fun of them, but then I became jealous.... I
wanted some company... I wanted him... Harry Potter. But he was dating somebody
else Cho Chang.
I really
hated it I was the youngest Weasley,
the only girl and madly in love with my brother's best friend. I often thought:
„Please Harry, just recognize me, as a girl..."
And then it
happened: Cho Chang broke up with Harry because she thought that it would never
ever work. Harry looked so lost in his world, so sad, and so hurt. Ron and
Hermione tried their best to cheer him up. But Harry only told them:" Oh it
really help hearing from two `lovebirds that I will get over it! You are happy
you don't know what loneliness is.."
One day I
couldn't bear it any longer. I started yelling:" But I know what loneliness
means Harry. I'm lonely since I'm at Hogwarts. Since everybody refuses to talk
to me because of the chamber of secrets! I AM LONLY, and I SWEAR YOU WILL GET
OVER IT!" After that I saw Harry's shocked face and Ron's confusion. Ron never
knew about this. Nobody did and now every single Gryffindor knew. I turned
around realizing what I just said, feeling the tears running down my cheeks. It
didn't matter. I was running like hell... out of the common room to the
forbidden forest. I broke down and cried for hours.
In the
bottom of my heart I hoped for an angel. For Ron or Harry anybody...
Nobody came
for rescue me.
It was
midnight when I returned. I didn't want to see anybody. I told the fat Lady the
password
and entered
the common room. But as soon as I entered I was surrounded by a few Gryffindor.
In fact there was Hermione Ron and Harry. I wanted to run to my dorm, but I
knew they wouldn't let me.
„What" I
snapped. I was really angry.
„Why..
Ginny , you never told me, neither Mom I have checked it. Everybody thought you
are happy. Why didn't you tell me?.." Ron asked concerned... and I felt knew
tears welling up.
But I started fighting. I wouldn't show them how
hurt I was.
„ That's
the problem brother! Nobody really knows me. But I don't blame you.. Just let
me alone.. I'm really tired.." I started to make my way to the staircase when I
felt a hand around my wrist.
„No wait, I
want to know, who you are Ginny. I want to understand what you are thinking...
I want you as a friend...as my friend" a soft voice told me.
„Harry, I
don't need your pity" I started arguing hotly.
„Ginny
I want you as a friend., because I know
that you are a nice and funny girl.
Because you are smart and because I don't want to watch Ron and Mione`s make
out sessions. This has nothing to do with pity." Harry told me with an
incredible sweet grin
„Really?
You mean it?" I couldn't believe it.
„Really!"
and then Harry took me by surprise, he hugged me tightly and my stomach made
some flip-flops.
From this
day Harry and I were seen everywhere together . At lunch, Quidditch practise
and so on. We went to Hogsmeande together. Most time with Ron and Hermione, but
some days only the two of us. It was so wonderful. Sure I was in love but I
knew: Harry only wanted friendship. And I respected his wish for then...
------------
End Flashback
„Gin, come
on ...We have to go. Graduation starts in five minutes!" Lu another seventh
year shouted .
„Coming" I
yelled back, even if I don't want to go. I will have to. I will have to smile
for my family for my „boyfriend" Collin Creevey. I don't love him and he knows
.. I only love him: Harry Potter... and probably ever will, but he has broken
my heart. The last time I ever talked to him was last year...
While I'm
remembering I walk down. My heart hurts me. How can I look into his eyes? What
should I do? What will he say? I'm confused. I want to run back to my dorm. I
need no NEWTs-diploma! I need to be alone....
Two floors
only left.
„Gin,
what's up?" Lu asked.
„ Nothing
just thinking about... something!" I'm thinking of him. What is he thinking? I
want to know.
Flashback
It was
three weeks before the Graduation ball. This ball takes place every year, only
for 6th years and Graduation class.
Harry and I
were joking about Snape, when a Ravenclaw girl was coming up. She was a medium
high, blond hair blue eye. She was gorgeous I thought to myself. When she came
up I glanced at Harry and he was blushing! `Oh no Harry please don't do this to me. Please God. Let
it be a nightmare `
„Harry I
know this is ridiculous but I wondered if you'll go to the ball with me... I
mean if you had no other plans."
„Oh no
Sarah" Harry gasped" this would be wonderful!"
They
started smiling at each other, before both said: "See you!"
I thought I
would die, right now. There was no escape so I had to stay with Harry the whole
dinner. I don't know what Harry told me during the rest of the meal. When
dinner was over I ran to my dorm. The first time for years crying.
„ Oh Harry
why have you done this?" I yelled. I was lying on my bed unable to go
downstairs.
The girls
in my dorm asked me what happened but when I refused to answer they went down
unable to see my vulnerability.
Ginny
Weasley was back again: The lonely girl. The outsider.
Then I heard
a knock on my door.
„Go away" I
told the person, but the person refused to go.
`Could it
be Harry` I thought. With this I jumped up from my bed, running to the door. I
felt my heart beating so fast, it almost hurt.
I unlocked
the door and then he stood there.
„Colin" I
started sobbing again „what do you want?"
„Oh Ginny
what happened?" he asked shyly.
„Nothing"
my voice was iron. I didn't want to discus my problems with him.
„What do
you want?" I asked for the second time
He blushed
furiously `the same way Harry blushed` I `thought `oh God please NOO
`
„I want to
ask you if you would go to the ball
with me?"
I didn't
want. I wanted to slam the door but I couldn't.
I knew that
I had to go because of Harry and Ron and Hermione.
So I told him „Sure would be great!"
The
following weeks were horrible. Wherever
I walked Colin appeared. I barely spoke to Harry because I couldn't be near
him.
One evening
the four of us sat together by the fireplace.
When Colin
came in I froze. He blushed when he started speaking.
„Gin, would
you come with me for a walk?" he asked.
But I
refused, because of everything.
He was so boring at the evening of the
Graduation ball. And when the Weird sisters played the last song he tried to kiss me. Harry looked at Colin with disgust, and for a
while I was sure that he felt more for
me then friendship
But I was
wrong! So wrong one single person could be…
When Colin
left us I heard somebody say:
"I think,
somebody has a little crush on my `sister`"
I started
with "Ron I don't think…" when I realized the most horrible thing! It wasn't
Ron who had called me sister… but Harry.
"Harry,
what did you call me?" I asked praying that I didn't hear him right.
"oh Ginny…
I called you sister" he blushed "I mean I love you as if you are my sister,
sorry…"he told me.
I jumped up
and ran to my dorm. Since that evening I never spoke to him again. I knew that if I would, I would call
him things that I never called somebody. It hurt me to see him.
He wanted
to speak with me for several times but I escaped every time unable to speak to
him. He graduated and left Hogwart along with my brother and now- sister in law
Hermione.
When he
would visit the burrow I would never be at home. At my brother's wedding I made
everything just to stay away from Harry.
I never
forgot Harry and never will.
At the
beginning of this term I started to date Colin. He was happy but I felt
incredible sad… I felt as if I was dead.
---End
flashback
And now I
will see him. I don't know how I can manage to stay away from him. I mean Mom
doesn't know that I didn't speak to Harry for over a year.
I am
entering the Great Hall. Everybody is watching me since I'm head girl. I look
at Dumbelore. He smiles… he always does, when I see him. Just a few steps more
to my seat.
"The
ceremony will start in about ten minutes." Professor McGonagell told us.
` Ginny
calm down. Maybe Harry won't come near you.`
Oh my God,
Harry is coming up to me. Oh no stay away. He smiles even if his eyes are sad.
"Hi Ginny"
"Oh ähem…
hi" I whispered.
"I have
missed you during the last year" he
told me.
I have to
say myself that I'm angry. That I am hating this boy in front of me.
"I kind of
miss you too." I heard me say.
He starts
grinning. A true smile.
"That's
good to hear Gin! Can we talk afterwards?" he asked me.
My brain
cries "Now way" but my heart and my mouth said "ähem… Sure Harry no problem!"
"Ginny you
are such a fool!" I told myself during the whole ceremony. I don't want to talk
to him. I just can't.
End
Chapter1
A/N: The
second chapter will be up in the next days. It will have Harry's POV. Oh and
yes, some Romance will come in the next chapters. I need a beta reader. If you
are interested in that job, let me hear, okay? I hope you like the story. Today
it's my birthday and I write Fan fictions… I need a life! Just read and
review.
Disclaimer: Every character belongs to J.K.
Rowling. I don't own them.