Diary of a Handmaiden 4–Following Protocol–Eirtaé's Diary--Entry 4

*****

<–...>Tatooine (not Tantooey) has to be the most...ugly...planet I've ever seen. Dust and rocks and dirt and sand and more sand and yet more sand as far as the eye can see. I'm glad Padmé didn't want me to go with her. I have no desire to find out what a city on this planet is like.

Of course, had she asked me, I would have gone, no complaints. But she didn't. And she ignored Rabé's urgings that she stay on the ship where she's safe. She could have sent Rabé out with the Jedi instead. But Padmé is strong-willed and this time she insisted on having her own way. She wouldn't even listen to Panaka.

I said nothing. I recognized Padmé's look as the one that means she's already made up her mind and set to work helping Rabé braid her hair. I don't blame Rabé for trying to argue with her; I wanted to beg her to stay, too. But Padmé is the Queen, and it isn't our place as her handmaidens to argue.

We're bodyguards, first and foremost–here to protect her. We also help her with her clothing, makeup, and hair. We do act as counselors, but only when she requests it. The others–Yané, Rabé, Sabé, and Saché–don't seem to quite share these views, though. It's harder for Sabé, of course, since she has to act as decoy. Saché is pretty quiet. But Rabé seems to think she can give Padmé advice just because Padmé confides in her a lot. And Yané is pretty much a hopeless case as far as etiquette goes.

I know the others say I'm bossy and that I'm a snob, but I'm not really. It's just that I was raised to believe that there were certain things you do whether you want to or not, without argument or complaint. And there are other things you never do, no matter how badly you want to. If the others listened to me rather than rolling their eyes and ignoring me, I wouldn't have to nag them or boss them.

Oh, why do I even bother trying?

I know why. Because when our training was completed and we were told we had been chosen as the Handmaidens, I was given the responsibility of being the leader. It's not like I tell everyone what to do, but I am supposed to organize us and, well, lead, when it's necessary. I've tried really hard not to act like I think I'm the boss, because I'm not, but it's tough. Not only am I older than the others, even Padmé, but I know more than everyone except Padmé about politics and diplomacy and protocol. I've been raised to this kind of life since I was born, while most of them are still pretty new to this.

Oh, well. There's not much we can do right now anyway. I wonder how Yané and Saché are faring. Have they been processed yet? And what is processing anyway? Or do I not want to know?

*****

Reviews are welcome!