OKAY, SORRY THAT THIS PART TOOK SO LONG... SPRING IS CRAZY, SEMESTER'S DRAWING TO A CLOSE, I'M BUSY WITH SOCCER... WHAT CAN I SAY? ANYWAY, THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS... PLEASE LEAVE ONE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! AND THANKS FOR READING!
Monica stood staring at Chandler's closed apartment door, debating about whether or not to go in. He had told her that he just wanted to be alone with Jackson -- a request that she understood, but at the same time she was worried about him. He'd just been told that he had to give up his son, the son that had changed his entire life in six short months, and he'd holed himself up in his apartment with Jack. Monica stayed where she was, hesitant to go in, but her concern for Chandler eating away at her. She wanted to walk inside and wrap her arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be all right, but at the same time she knew that there was no way he'd believe her, and she couldn't blame him. How could she make him believe that everything would be all right when he'd had his heart broken? She sighed and resignedly stepped up to the door, knocking lightly. When there was no answer, she pushed the door open gently and scanned the dim apartment. Realizing that, given the hour, Jack was probably asleep, she walked quietly toward his bedroom and peeked inside. Chandler was sitting next to Jack's crib watching him sleep, unaware of Monica's presence. "Hey, you," she whispered after a moment. Chandler looked at her and said nothing, simply nodding and returning his gaze toward his son. Monica's heart went out to him in the moment he looked at her, as she could see the pain that was clearly written across his face and that filled his eyes. She wordlessly went over to stand behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders and looking at the baby. As she lightly rubbed his shoulders, she felt him take a shaky breath, and she bent down and kissed the top of his head lightly. He suddenly turned and wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, burying his face in her stomach. She rubbed his back, wishing that there was some way that she could ease his pain, but knowing that there was only one thing that would make him happy, and that possibility had been ripped away from him only hours before. She noticed a moment later that he was shaking slightly, and she tightened her grip around him. As his shaking turned to quiet sobs, she realized that she had never seen Chandler cry, and she couldn't for the life of her figure out what to do to comfort him. "Shh," she said gently, running her hands through his hair and rubbing his back.
"Holidays," he whispered shakily. "How am I going to live with just seeing him on holidays?" Monica sighed, recognizing it as one of the many questions that she knew she couldn't answer and simply held him tighter. He eventually pulled away and looked up at her. As she looked down into his eyes, the pain that filled them almost made her cry. She'd seen Chandler with a broken heart before when women had screwed him over, but she knew just by looking at him that all of those so-called "broken hearts" had been nothing compared to this one. He gazed back up at her, not knowing what to say. He'd known when he asked her the question that she wouldn't have an answer, because he was painfully aware of the fact that there WAS no answer. He couldn't live with just seeing Jackson on "odd holidays." He suddenly stood up and kissed Monica deeply, trying to erase the pain he was feeling, because he knew that if he wallowed in it for much longer, he would lose his mind. Monica was surprised at his sudden action, but did nothing to stop it. Although she knew exactly what he was trying to do, she could come up with no better suggestion, so she wasn't about to stop him. His kisses were different from the ones she had become accustomed to -- while they were usually slow and gentle, which was one of the many things that she loved about him, they were suddenly different. There was a sense of urgency behind them, almost a sense of desperation. Chandler once again wrapped his arms tightly around her and pressed her body to his own, deepening the kiss. Monica allowed him to pick her up and carry her into his bedroom without a word. As he laid her down on his bed and continued to kiss her, running his hands up and down her body, Monica found herself wondering if she was doing the right thing by letting him channel his grief, but yet again she found that she had no other suggestion, so she pushed the doubts out of her head and let him slip her shirt over her head and off of her arms. He hastily removed his own white t-shirt and kissed her again. After a few moments, he broke the kiss and looked down at her, his head spinning. He felt like a whirlpool of emotion, and suddenly they were all in one jumble, unable to be identified separately. He quickly moved away from Monica and sat on the edge of the bed, resting his head in his hands, feeling his eyes burning once again. Angrily, he ran his hands over his head and gripped his hair, closing his eyes. He felt Monica's small arms wrap around him as she pressed up against his back, resting her chin on his shoulder. He began to shake and she gently removed his hands from his head and turned his shoulders so that he was facing her. He looked at her helplessly, as though he were nothing more than a child. Not knowing what to say, Monica simply pulled him back into bed with her and wrapped her arms around him as he laid next to her and silently cried.
"You pack his blanket?" Monica asked gently as Chandler sat at the countertop with Jackson held tightly in his arms. He nodded dully.
"In the baby bag," he replied, monotone. She simply nodded, wishing that she could think of something comforting to say to him. He bowed his head and rested his lips against Jack's head, breathing in the familiar baby scent that he had become so fond of in the past months. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and fought back the tears that he knew weren't far. Regardless of how much this was killing him and how his heart seemed to break a little more with every passing moment, he refused to cry. He didn't want Kathy to show up and see him looking like a wreck. If he cried after she left, then so be it, but he wasn't about to cry in her presence. He glared at the bags that he had packed with Jackson's things that sat by the door, waiting. The apartment seemed so empty without the usual clutter of toys and stuffed animals, and he suddenly hated it. Those babyish accessories that he had once been embarrassed about filling his apartment with were suddenly the same things that he longed for. He tried to imagine what his life was going to be in the coming months, but found that he couldn't picture it. He knew that he'd never go back to the immature, responsibility-avoiding bachelor-type that he'd been before Jackson's arrival. He was thankful that he still had Monica, and he glanced at her as she silently zipped up one of the bags after putting a sweater inside. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Chandler inadvertently tightened his grip on Jackson protectively. Monica stared at him for a moment before going to open the door. Chandler wanted to call out to her not to open it, just to let her knock and knock. If he didn't open the door, she couldn't take Jack away. He could keep him. At home. With him. Where he belonged. But he found that, regardless of the desperation that filled him, he couldn't utter a sound, and as Monica's hand reached out for the doorknob, he felt as though the seconds were flying by. On the other side of that door stood the person who was going to take his son away, and as soon as it opened, she would be there. It would never just be he and his son again. She would walk out of his apartment with Jack, and Chandler would be left with nothing. "Well," he thought bitterly, "until the holidays, anyway." He silently willed Monica not to open the door, but her telepathic abilities were either non-existent or switched off, because she opened the door slowly to reveal Kathy standing on the other side. She noted that she looked much like she had the first day she'd shown up: nervous and uncomfortable.
"Hello, Monica," she said quietly.
"Hi," Monica replied coldly, not even attempting to mask the hatred in her voice or to cool the glare that she shot at her. Kathy shifted her weight uneasily and averted her gaze.
"Is, uh... is Chandler home?"
"No," Monica answered shortly. "He flew to Peru this morning. To go and kidnap someone else's child. I guess he wants to be like you." Kathy flinched slightly as her words stung and she looked at her uneasily. Monica continued to glare at her until Chandler appeared at the door with Jackson held firmly in his arms. When she saw her son, Kathy felt her heart skip as she stared at him. He barely resembled the infant she had left behind months before, and she wondered if he did, in fact, remember her at all. She looked at Chandler and recognized the hurt in his eyes. She had seen it before, but somehow it seemed so much stronger now. She looked at her son once more and took a deep breath.
"Chandler, can we talk outside for a minute?"
"I have nothing to say to you," he said coldly, and she was surprised at how angry his voice sounded. She'd heard him annoyed when she'd cheated on him, but she noted that his tone was the closest she could ever remember having come to pure hatred.
"Please?" she asked quietly, pleading with her eyes. Chandler continued to glare at her, and then wordlessly turned and handed Jack to Monica. Kathy noted enviously the way in which Jackson seemed so comfortable in her arms, and Chandler's comment that Monica was practically his mother suddenly sprung to mind. She suddenly found herself in the hallway with Chandler, the door closed behind them. She tried to avoid his fierce look, but she knew that she'd hurt him yet again, and was almost willing to admit that she deserved whatever he dished out.
"What more do you want?" he demanded bluntly.
"Chandler, please--"
"No. You don't get to ask anything of me," he said angrily. He knew that this was probably one of the only times he'd get to tell her what he was feeling, and he wasn't about to pass up the chance. "You broke my heart once, but I forgave you. Then you dumped your son into my lap, and at first I was angry, but then I fell in love with him, and I forgave you. Hell, I was GRATEFUL to you. You gave me this great gift, and I was thankful that you did. Then suddenly you show up and take it back, and rip my heart out all over again. The pain of losing him is a thousand times worse than losing you, and maybe that's because he's not CHOOSING to leave me. You're stealing him."
"Chandler, I'm not stealing him," she began, but was interrupted by Chandler scoffing.
"Oh, right. Then what would you call it? Reclaiming him?"
"No, I mean I'm not taking him." Chandler was suddenly confused and the way he stared at her told her so.
"What?" He almost let himself hope that he wouldn't lose Jack, but he was too afraid of hoping. He knew that if he allowed himself to believe that there was hope and then that hope was crushed, he might never recover. Kathy took a deep breath and looked at him nervously.
"I want my son," she said quietly, "but I also want my son to be happy." When Chandler said nothing, she continued. "You have no idea how much I want to raise him and watch him grow up. But for me to take him away from his home, a place where he is obviously so happy... that would be selfish, and although I know you think I'm selfish, I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was making my son unhappy. Monica was right, he doesn't really know who I am, and I might be hurting him by moving him."
"When did you speak to Monica?" Chandler asked, confused.
"She came to see me," Kathy replied simply. Chandler stared at her as her words swam around his head.
"So... you're saying... what you mean is..." He looked at her warily, not sure of what to say.
"I'm leaving Jackson with you," Kathy finished for him, the sadness evident in her voice. "He's obviously happy, and that's the most important thing." Chandler continued to stare, and was suddenly filled with a desire to do a thousand things at once. He wanted to hug her for not taking Jack away from him. He wanted to yell at her for putting him through this. He wanted to hug Monica for interfering. He wanted to hold Jackson so tightly so that he could never be taken away. He found, however, that he could do none of those things. Instead, he stood rooted to the spot and looked at her, dumbfounded.
"Thank you," he managed with a whisper. Kathy nodded.
"Take care of our son?" she requested quietly, her eyes filling with tears. Chandler nodded quickly.
"You, uh, you want to see him?" he asked nervously, afraid that if she did see him, she'd change her mind. Kathy was obviously thinking the same thing and she shook her head sadly.
"No," she murmured, and she stared at him for a moment before turning wordlessly and walking away. Chandler remained in place for a few moments before he turned around and walked back into the apartment. Monica was seated on the couch and had Jackson in her lap. As he entered, she stood up and looked at him sadly. He had an unfamiliar expression on his face, and Monica wondered what Kathy had said to him. It was then that she noticed that he'd closed the door and Kathy wasn't with him.
"Where'd the bitch go?" she asked coldly.
"California," Chandler replied quietly.
"Huh?"
"She's gone," Chandler murmured as he took Jack from Monica's arms and held him tightly. "It's just us now. Just us."
**SIX MONTHS LATER**
"It was good, but I would much rather eat something you made... any day," Chandler said with a grin as he held open the cab door for Monica. They had celebrated their one-year anniversary as a couple at a fancy restaurant and had decided to head back to Chandler's apartment for a night alone, since Ross was watching Jack for them.
"Yeah, well... what can I say? It's hard to rival a gourmet chef," Monica replied playfully.
"That it is," he agreed as he helped her out of the cab and paid the fare. As they climbed the stairs to their hallway, Chandler wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and sighed, basking in the contentment that had surrounded him in the past months. "Finally fits," he murmured.
"What?" Monica asked, not hearing him. He shook his head and gently kissed her on the shoulder. As they walked into his apartment, Chandler turned and smiled.
"How about a dance, since there wasn't a dance floor at dinner?" Monica grinned.
"Sounds like a plan," she said warmly. He smiled again and went over to his stereo to find the disc he had planned on playing. Once he'd located it, he turned and walked toward Monica, a loving look on his face and a tiny smile playing on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and as the music began to play, she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly.
We were strangers starting out on a journey,
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through,
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you.
No one told me I was going to find you,
Unexpected, what you did to my heart.
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me,
This is the start.
And life is a road and I wanna keep going,
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.
We were strangers on a crazy adventure,
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true,
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future,
At the beginning with you,
And life is a road and I wanna keep going,
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.
I knew there was somebody somewhere,
Love in the dark
Now I know my dream will live up,
I've been waiting so long,
Nothing's gonna tear us apart,
And life is a road and I wanna keep going,
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.
She pulled away and grinned up at him as the song died down, but her smile faded slightly when she noticed a thoughtful look on his face as he gazed into space. "Sweetheart?" she ventured, almost feeling guilty when he snapped back to reality with a start. He smiled down at her reassuringly and she felt comforted by his familiar smile. He gently took her hand in his and led her toward the barcalounger. "This is different," she said with a smile as she sat down obediently. "Usually I'm led to the bedroom." He smiled, still saying nothing, and stood in front of her for a minute. She began to wonder what was going on with him when he didn't say anything, and she eventually decided to ask him. "Chandler, is everything okay?" She looked at him intently as he took a deep breath and slowly lowered himself to one knee. She gasped and wondered if he was actually about to do what it looked like he was about to do.
"I love you, Mon," he began in a low voice as he once again took her hand in his. He swallowed nervously and continued. "I prided myself on never really needing anyone. I always thought that if you opened yourself up to that, you were just opening yourself up to pain and heartache. And then you came into my life, and blew my world apart, because you were the first. The first person I ever allowed myself to need. Nothing was real until I had told you about it. Monica, I want to spend forever with you. I want to wake up next to you each morning and go to bed each night with my arms wrapped around you. I want to laugh with you when you're happy and be the solace you seek when you cry. I always believed that true love was a romanticized idea that people came up with to make the world a little more optimistic. I never dreamed that it really existed, let alone that I would find it. But I did. I found it in you." He took the tears that shone in her eyes as a good sign and continued. "I love you. I want to spend forever loving you. I want to make Jackson all over again with you. You are my world, my everything, and I will love you forever." He gently reached up and wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks. "Monica," he said as he reached into his pocket and took out a small velvet box. "Will you marry me?" As she gazed at him, and at the ring, and let his words sink in, Mon felt as though she could explode, so strong were the emotions that swam within her. The love she felt for him was so powerful that she felt like she was lost in it.
"Yes," she managed with a whisper. "Yes, Chandler, I'll marry you." He smiled, almost relieved, and slid the ring onto her finger. He leaned in toward her and kissed her deeply, feeling like he was on top of the world.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear as she hugged him tightly.
"And I you," she answered, smiling as he scooped her up and carried her into his room.
OKAY, THAT'S A WRAP! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK... THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE REVIEWED!! IT'S MUCH APPRECIATED!!! BY THE WAY, THE SONG IN HERE IS BY DONNA LEWIS AND RICHARD MARX AND IT'S CALLED "AT THE BEGINNING." I HOPE YOU LIKED IT... PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS!! THANKS!!!! :)
Monica stood staring at Chandler's closed apartment door, debating about whether or not to go in. He had told her that he just wanted to be alone with Jackson -- a request that she understood, but at the same time she was worried about him. He'd just been told that he had to give up his son, the son that had changed his entire life in six short months, and he'd holed himself up in his apartment with Jack. Monica stayed where she was, hesitant to go in, but her concern for Chandler eating away at her. She wanted to walk inside and wrap her arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be all right, but at the same time she knew that there was no way he'd believe her, and she couldn't blame him. How could she make him believe that everything would be all right when he'd had his heart broken? She sighed and resignedly stepped up to the door, knocking lightly. When there was no answer, she pushed the door open gently and scanned the dim apartment. Realizing that, given the hour, Jack was probably asleep, she walked quietly toward his bedroom and peeked inside. Chandler was sitting next to Jack's crib watching him sleep, unaware of Monica's presence. "Hey, you," she whispered after a moment. Chandler looked at her and said nothing, simply nodding and returning his gaze toward his son. Monica's heart went out to him in the moment he looked at her, as she could see the pain that was clearly written across his face and that filled his eyes. She wordlessly went over to stand behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders and looking at the baby. As she lightly rubbed his shoulders, she felt him take a shaky breath, and she bent down and kissed the top of his head lightly. He suddenly turned and wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, burying his face in her stomach. She rubbed his back, wishing that there was some way that she could ease his pain, but knowing that there was only one thing that would make him happy, and that possibility had been ripped away from him only hours before. She noticed a moment later that he was shaking slightly, and she tightened her grip around him. As his shaking turned to quiet sobs, she realized that she had never seen Chandler cry, and she couldn't for the life of her figure out what to do to comfort him. "Shh," she said gently, running her hands through his hair and rubbing his back.
"Holidays," he whispered shakily. "How am I going to live with just seeing him on holidays?" Monica sighed, recognizing it as one of the many questions that she knew she couldn't answer and simply held him tighter. He eventually pulled away and looked up at her. As she looked down into his eyes, the pain that filled them almost made her cry. She'd seen Chandler with a broken heart before when women had screwed him over, but she knew just by looking at him that all of those so-called "broken hearts" had been nothing compared to this one. He gazed back up at her, not knowing what to say. He'd known when he asked her the question that she wouldn't have an answer, because he was painfully aware of the fact that there WAS no answer. He couldn't live with just seeing Jackson on "odd holidays." He suddenly stood up and kissed Monica deeply, trying to erase the pain he was feeling, because he knew that if he wallowed in it for much longer, he would lose his mind. Monica was surprised at his sudden action, but did nothing to stop it. Although she knew exactly what he was trying to do, she could come up with no better suggestion, so she wasn't about to stop him. His kisses were different from the ones she had become accustomed to -- while they were usually slow and gentle, which was one of the many things that she loved about him, they were suddenly different. There was a sense of urgency behind them, almost a sense of desperation. Chandler once again wrapped his arms tightly around her and pressed her body to his own, deepening the kiss. Monica allowed him to pick her up and carry her into his bedroom without a word. As he laid her down on his bed and continued to kiss her, running his hands up and down her body, Monica found herself wondering if she was doing the right thing by letting him channel his grief, but yet again she found that she had no other suggestion, so she pushed the doubts out of her head and let him slip her shirt over her head and off of her arms. He hastily removed his own white t-shirt and kissed her again. After a few moments, he broke the kiss and looked down at her, his head spinning. He felt like a whirlpool of emotion, and suddenly they were all in one jumble, unable to be identified separately. He quickly moved away from Monica and sat on the edge of the bed, resting his head in his hands, feeling his eyes burning once again. Angrily, he ran his hands over his head and gripped his hair, closing his eyes. He felt Monica's small arms wrap around him as she pressed up against his back, resting her chin on his shoulder. He began to shake and she gently removed his hands from his head and turned his shoulders so that he was facing her. He looked at her helplessly, as though he were nothing more than a child. Not knowing what to say, Monica simply pulled him back into bed with her and wrapped her arms around him as he laid next to her and silently cried.
"You pack his blanket?" Monica asked gently as Chandler sat at the countertop with Jackson held tightly in his arms. He nodded dully.
"In the baby bag," he replied, monotone. She simply nodded, wishing that she could think of something comforting to say to him. He bowed his head and rested his lips against Jack's head, breathing in the familiar baby scent that he had become so fond of in the past months. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and fought back the tears that he knew weren't far. Regardless of how much this was killing him and how his heart seemed to break a little more with every passing moment, he refused to cry. He didn't want Kathy to show up and see him looking like a wreck. If he cried after she left, then so be it, but he wasn't about to cry in her presence. He glared at the bags that he had packed with Jackson's things that sat by the door, waiting. The apartment seemed so empty without the usual clutter of toys and stuffed animals, and he suddenly hated it. Those babyish accessories that he had once been embarrassed about filling his apartment with were suddenly the same things that he longed for. He tried to imagine what his life was going to be in the coming months, but found that he couldn't picture it. He knew that he'd never go back to the immature, responsibility-avoiding bachelor-type that he'd been before Jackson's arrival. He was thankful that he still had Monica, and he glanced at her as she silently zipped up one of the bags after putting a sweater inside. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Chandler inadvertently tightened his grip on Jackson protectively. Monica stared at him for a moment before going to open the door. Chandler wanted to call out to her not to open it, just to let her knock and knock. If he didn't open the door, she couldn't take Jack away. He could keep him. At home. With him. Where he belonged. But he found that, regardless of the desperation that filled him, he couldn't utter a sound, and as Monica's hand reached out for the doorknob, he felt as though the seconds were flying by. On the other side of that door stood the person who was going to take his son away, and as soon as it opened, she would be there. It would never just be he and his son again. She would walk out of his apartment with Jack, and Chandler would be left with nothing. "Well," he thought bitterly, "until the holidays, anyway." He silently willed Monica not to open the door, but her telepathic abilities were either non-existent or switched off, because she opened the door slowly to reveal Kathy standing on the other side. She noted that she looked much like she had the first day she'd shown up: nervous and uncomfortable.
"Hello, Monica," she said quietly.
"Hi," Monica replied coldly, not even attempting to mask the hatred in her voice or to cool the glare that she shot at her. Kathy shifted her weight uneasily and averted her gaze.
"Is, uh... is Chandler home?"
"No," Monica answered shortly. "He flew to Peru this morning. To go and kidnap someone else's child. I guess he wants to be like you." Kathy flinched slightly as her words stung and she looked at her uneasily. Monica continued to glare at her until Chandler appeared at the door with Jackson held firmly in his arms. When she saw her son, Kathy felt her heart skip as she stared at him. He barely resembled the infant she had left behind months before, and she wondered if he did, in fact, remember her at all. She looked at Chandler and recognized the hurt in his eyes. She had seen it before, but somehow it seemed so much stronger now. She looked at her son once more and took a deep breath.
"Chandler, can we talk outside for a minute?"
"I have nothing to say to you," he said coldly, and she was surprised at how angry his voice sounded. She'd heard him annoyed when she'd cheated on him, but she noted that his tone was the closest she could ever remember having come to pure hatred.
"Please?" she asked quietly, pleading with her eyes. Chandler continued to glare at her, and then wordlessly turned and handed Jack to Monica. Kathy noted enviously the way in which Jackson seemed so comfortable in her arms, and Chandler's comment that Monica was practically his mother suddenly sprung to mind. She suddenly found herself in the hallway with Chandler, the door closed behind them. She tried to avoid his fierce look, but she knew that she'd hurt him yet again, and was almost willing to admit that she deserved whatever he dished out.
"What more do you want?" he demanded bluntly.
"Chandler, please--"
"No. You don't get to ask anything of me," he said angrily. He knew that this was probably one of the only times he'd get to tell her what he was feeling, and he wasn't about to pass up the chance. "You broke my heart once, but I forgave you. Then you dumped your son into my lap, and at first I was angry, but then I fell in love with him, and I forgave you. Hell, I was GRATEFUL to you. You gave me this great gift, and I was thankful that you did. Then suddenly you show up and take it back, and rip my heart out all over again. The pain of losing him is a thousand times worse than losing you, and maybe that's because he's not CHOOSING to leave me. You're stealing him."
"Chandler, I'm not stealing him," she began, but was interrupted by Chandler scoffing.
"Oh, right. Then what would you call it? Reclaiming him?"
"No, I mean I'm not taking him." Chandler was suddenly confused and the way he stared at her told her so.
"What?" He almost let himself hope that he wouldn't lose Jack, but he was too afraid of hoping. He knew that if he allowed himself to believe that there was hope and then that hope was crushed, he might never recover. Kathy took a deep breath and looked at him nervously.
"I want my son," she said quietly, "but I also want my son to be happy." When Chandler said nothing, she continued. "You have no idea how much I want to raise him and watch him grow up. But for me to take him away from his home, a place where he is obviously so happy... that would be selfish, and although I know you think I'm selfish, I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was making my son unhappy. Monica was right, he doesn't really know who I am, and I might be hurting him by moving him."
"When did you speak to Monica?" Chandler asked, confused.
"She came to see me," Kathy replied simply. Chandler stared at her as her words swam around his head.
"So... you're saying... what you mean is..." He looked at her warily, not sure of what to say.
"I'm leaving Jackson with you," Kathy finished for him, the sadness evident in her voice. "He's obviously happy, and that's the most important thing." Chandler continued to stare, and was suddenly filled with a desire to do a thousand things at once. He wanted to hug her for not taking Jack away from him. He wanted to yell at her for putting him through this. He wanted to hug Monica for interfering. He wanted to hold Jackson so tightly so that he could never be taken away. He found, however, that he could do none of those things. Instead, he stood rooted to the spot and looked at her, dumbfounded.
"Thank you," he managed with a whisper. Kathy nodded.
"Take care of our son?" she requested quietly, her eyes filling with tears. Chandler nodded quickly.
"You, uh, you want to see him?" he asked nervously, afraid that if she did see him, she'd change her mind. Kathy was obviously thinking the same thing and she shook her head sadly.
"No," she murmured, and she stared at him for a moment before turning wordlessly and walking away. Chandler remained in place for a few moments before he turned around and walked back into the apartment. Monica was seated on the couch and had Jackson in her lap. As he entered, she stood up and looked at him sadly. He had an unfamiliar expression on his face, and Monica wondered what Kathy had said to him. It was then that she noticed that he'd closed the door and Kathy wasn't with him.
"Where'd the bitch go?" she asked coldly.
"California," Chandler replied quietly.
"Huh?"
"She's gone," Chandler murmured as he took Jack from Monica's arms and held him tightly. "It's just us now. Just us."
**SIX MONTHS LATER**
"It was good, but I would much rather eat something you made... any day," Chandler said with a grin as he held open the cab door for Monica. They had celebrated their one-year anniversary as a couple at a fancy restaurant and had decided to head back to Chandler's apartment for a night alone, since Ross was watching Jack for them.
"Yeah, well... what can I say? It's hard to rival a gourmet chef," Monica replied playfully.
"That it is," he agreed as he helped her out of the cab and paid the fare. As they climbed the stairs to their hallway, Chandler wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and sighed, basking in the contentment that had surrounded him in the past months. "Finally fits," he murmured.
"What?" Monica asked, not hearing him. He shook his head and gently kissed her on the shoulder. As they walked into his apartment, Chandler turned and smiled.
"How about a dance, since there wasn't a dance floor at dinner?" Monica grinned.
"Sounds like a plan," she said warmly. He smiled again and went over to his stereo to find the disc he had planned on playing. Once he'd located it, he turned and walked toward Monica, a loving look on his face and a tiny smile playing on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and as the music began to play, she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly.
We were strangers starting out on a journey,
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through,
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you.
No one told me I was going to find you,
Unexpected, what you did to my heart.
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me,
This is the start.
And life is a road and I wanna keep going,
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.
We were strangers on a crazy adventure,
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true,
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future,
At the beginning with you,
And life is a road and I wanna keep going,
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.
I knew there was somebody somewhere,
Love in the dark
Now I know my dream will live up,
I've been waiting so long,
Nothing's gonna tear us apart,
And life is a road and I wanna keep going,
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.
She pulled away and grinned up at him as the song died down, but her smile faded slightly when she noticed a thoughtful look on his face as he gazed into space. "Sweetheart?" she ventured, almost feeling guilty when he snapped back to reality with a start. He smiled down at her reassuringly and she felt comforted by his familiar smile. He gently took her hand in his and led her toward the barcalounger. "This is different," she said with a smile as she sat down obediently. "Usually I'm led to the bedroom." He smiled, still saying nothing, and stood in front of her for a minute. She began to wonder what was going on with him when he didn't say anything, and she eventually decided to ask him. "Chandler, is everything okay?" She looked at him intently as he took a deep breath and slowly lowered himself to one knee. She gasped and wondered if he was actually about to do what it looked like he was about to do.
"I love you, Mon," he began in a low voice as he once again took her hand in his. He swallowed nervously and continued. "I prided myself on never really needing anyone. I always thought that if you opened yourself up to that, you were just opening yourself up to pain and heartache. And then you came into my life, and blew my world apart, because you were the first. The first person I ever allowed myself to need. Nothing was real until I had told you about it. Monica, I want to spend forever with you. I want to wake up next to you each morning and go to bed each night with my arms wrapped around you. I want to laugh with you when you're happy and be the solace you seek when you cry. I always believed that true love was a romanticized idea that people came up with to make the world a little more optimistic. I never dreamed that it really existed, let alone that I would find it. But I did. I found it in you." He took the tears that shone in her eyes as a good sign and continued. "I love you. I want to spend forever loving you. I want to make Jackson all over again with you. You are my world, my everything, and I will love you forever." He gently reached up and wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks. "Monica," he said as he reached into his pocket and took out a small velvet box. "Will you marry me?" As she gazed at him, and at the ring, and let his words sink in, Mon felt as though she could explode, so strong were the emotions that swam within her. The love she felt for him was so powerful that she felt like she was lost in it.
"Yes," she managed with a whisper. "Yes, Chandler, I'll marry you." He smiled, almost relieved, and slid the ring onto her finger. He leaned in toward her and kissed her deeply, feeling like he was on top of the world.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear as she hugged him tightly.
"And I you," she answered, smiling as he scooped her up and carried her into his room.
OKAY, THAT'S A WRAP! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK... THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE REVIEWED!! IT'S MUCH APPRECIATED!!! BY THE WAY, THE SONG IN HERE IS BY DONNA LEWIS AND RICHARD MARX AND IT'S CALLED "AT THE BEGINNING." I HOPE YOU LIKED IT... PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS!! THANKS!!!! :)