A.N.: I saw this song in my fake book and I just couldn't resist the urge to do a Lily/Harry songfic...I'm sure it's been done before, though perhaps not with this song, but I just couldn't help myself. :-) It's to the song "Lullabye" (subtitled Good Night, My Angel), and the words and music are by Billy Joel. Please Review!
Disclaimer: I'm J.K. Rowling. I'm j/k.
Good night my angel time to close your eyes
And save those questions for another day.
Lily looked into her baby boy's little one-year old eyes. It was the last time she'd rock him to sleep, she knew. Mothers knew these things. It was one of the few things she'd actually learned in her divination "class." Mother's could tell when they were about to lose their baby -- or their baby was about to lose them.
She could still remember Professor McMillence's speech about it. "Mothers always know if something is going to happen to them or to their baby that will make them separate forever. It's ancient divination. The ancient magic such as protection by love also included the connection of Mother and Child."
She'd been skeptical about it then -- you had to be a skeptic in that class. But now she knew that it was true.
Her vision was clouded by tears as she looked at his hair. "You're so like James. But you have my eyes." She kissed the little boy on his forehead, and one of her tears fell on his tiny face. He brushed it away and looked up at her.
The eyes looked confused. Poor little baby, Lily thought. Putting her sadness after him, she whispered, "Shush, Harry, another day. Close your eyes now."
I think you know what I've been trying to say.
The little baby had been looking confused for days. He still looked like that. There was something in his eyes that told him that he didn't understand something, not a curious look, but an anxious asking one. It was a look that the baby had had for a long time. Why? he is asking. What?
She hadn't understood until now. But now she knew. He wanted to know why they felt they'd be separated. Why his time with her was limited. Why is this going to happen? He didn't understand it.
"Sweet little boy, always asking questions like your father," Lily said quietly, choking back tears that threatened to spring from the ducts of her eyes. "Why does the answer have to be so grim?"
She hadn't understand what he wanted to ask until now. But now she knew. "Dear Harry, you know life is hard for some. Some people never get their parents. I think you're about to be one of them." She knew Harry didn't talk yet, but when she looked at him, her eyes filled with the tears that held the answer, she was sure that somehow he could understand just now.
"You understand what I've been trying to say," Lily whispered to his little child.
And you should always know,
Wherever you may go,
I never will be far away.
"Harry," Lily said, the inevitable sob finally coming out, "I remember too that I said that we'd always be together. No matter what I wouldn't ever leave you. I'll never go back on that."
Harry looked at Lily, eyes almost saying, "Then why is it that you're about to go?"
"Oh, Harry," Lily ran a hand over his soft face. "I know we have separate too. But I'll still be close in your heart."
Thoughts were running amok in her head. "Why does this have to happen to us? Why can't we stay together near each other?" But she remained calm outside. "Always in each others' hearts, Harry."
And still so many things I want to say.
Harry fidgeted and opened his eyes again. He still didn't understand.
Lily heard the door and James' terrified scream. She turned white. Numb, hardly understanding, yet understanding all too well that it was what they were dreading. This was what would separate her from Harry. "Oh, Harry," she sobbed weakly, "Harry, just sleep, little angel. Sleep and be calm."
Still so much she wanted to say.
But she couldn't say it now, for He was there. Voldemort, the name that curdled the blood within her. How could Peter have betrayed them?
Right now James was handling him. Lily knew she'd have to come out soon. But now spending her last few minutes with Harry was more important. She would come when James needed it, when he called, when she knew she had to come out too. But for now, she would be with Harry. Because that was what was important.
Still, she wondered, how long would she have?
But no time now to wonder. "I still want to say so much," she whispered. "But it's time to go to sleep. Sleep, Harry, I don't want you to have to have this in your brain. Just lay your head down and you'll never remember." But Harry didn't sleep, and she couldn't say everything she was thinking.
When we went sailing on an emerald bay.
Harry couldn't speak when they first looked into each others' eyes. Of course he couldn't. He was but a few hours old. But those eyes had held such magic for Lily that she heard the songs anyway.
They both had the emeralds in their eyes. And they had stared into them, looking at the magic in them, hearing each others' songs within them. The songs were of a special, unequaled love. That was when Lily knew that there was something special, even more than Mother and Son, between them. This was definitely a special thing. How could it be anything except for that?
The last words of her silent song was spoken: "I promise I will never leave you." She knew she wouldn't.
And she whispered, "Remember that song you sang to me. And the song I sang for you. Because I love you, Harry. With all my soul."
Harry looked up and again they rode on a special emerald bay in one anothers' eyes, and they sang songs of love and of remembering each other. Love.
I'm rocking you to sleep.
Lily picked up the tiny child in her arms, still staring into his emerald eyes. They looked like a magnificent ocean.
She began to rock him like the ocean rocks a boat out on the sea. He closed his eyes but didn't sleep. "Oh Harry, I love you," she whispered again, voice choked with tears and fears.
"I love you." And he was quiet, and let her tell him, and let her rock him like the peaceful ocean rocks everything on it.
Inside this ancient heart,
You'll always be a part of me.
Lily looked into his eyes. They were gaining the deepness which hers had taken so long to gain. That was what happened when you were forced to see these things too early. You became deep too fast.
But she knew Harry would be okay nonetheless, for she'd keep him in her heart. Her heart which seemed so ancient from everything she'd seen, every fear she'd been afraid of, every tear she'd shed.
"You'll always be in my heart, dear Harry," Lily whispered as just another tear slid down her face.
And Harry's deep little eyes seemed to say that he'd keep her there too. And Lily smiled a smile that was still tainted with her sadness and fear.
And dream how wonderful your life will be.
Lily heard James and Voldemort. Somehow she knew her time was coming close. Soon she'd have to leave. "Oh, Harry," she said quietly, "Just sleep and dream your little head away with happy dreams."
She remembered how she had often dreamed about her life, and how wonderful it would be. She thought about all the wonderful things she'd do and all the happy things she'd be able to do. Now it was coming to an end, she knew. It was a numb, terrifying feeling but she couldn't do anything about it.
She hoped Harry would inherit this kind of dreaming about the wonderful opportunities of life. Even if hers could never be fulfilled, it had been so wonderful to dream about.
"Harry," she whispered sadly, "Go to sleep now. I want you to dream. Dream about how wonderful your life will be, my little angel. Sleep now, don't let what's about to happen inhibit your dreams."
She wondered where he'd go if he was an orphan. Good? Bad? She didn't know. "Harry," she whispered, "No matter where you go, no matter how bad things are, remember to dream. Remember to dream about how wonderful your life will someday be. Just dream."
But he stayed awake, and Lily wept.
And if you sing this Lullabye
There will always be a part of me.
She looked at her baby boy. Someday he would probably have a little baby just like she had him. She would stare at him, into his eyes, at every little detail. And he would cry, just like Harry cried sometimes.
Whenever Harry cried she sang him her Lullabye. It was her, part of her, something connecting. She couldn't explain why, or how, she just knew that it was. That was how life was.
"If your baby cries," said Lily, tears now freely streaming down her still young, still half-innocent, face, "Sing it the lullaby I sing to you."
As Harry turned up his face to look at her, she felt the string within her connecting him and her, still strong, still there. "And then there will always be this part of me."
Harry looked peaceful, if still awake.
They never die, that's who you and I will be.
She heard James: "Lily, it's him!"
"Harry, I have to leave now," Lily said. "I must be gone."
Everyone would leave, she realized. Eventually we all will. Soon she would. She no longer felt terrified, somehow, but only said and wondering why and wishing something could happen to make it all stop, to stop the world.
"But no matter what, Harry," Lily whispered as she prepared to leave, "this Lullabye will go on and on. And we will always be together. Remember this, not what's about to happen. Just remember this Lullabye, and all the love we ever had. Because I love you, Harry, I love you."
Then she heard James' voice: "Take Harry and go!"
And she knew that now it was the time.
She said the last thing she'd ever tell him: "I love you, Harry. I love you."
And she knew that this was something that would never die.