Author: Dazzling
Email: glitter_and_glam@hotmail.com
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to the genius that is Joss Whedon and he will get them back (relatively) unharmed after I'm finished with them. The featured songs are Tears of Pearls by Savage Garden and I Want You Back by *NSync.
Notes: Freshman year of college, with Buffy moping for her long lost Angel. Plus Oz never left, so Tara isn't in it, and Riley doesn't exist, cause I hate him (Die Fish Boy Die! remember, Nicky? ). One of my first Buffy fics that I ever wrote and that I only just found floating around my files, so be kind =).
Feedback: Come on... you know you want to. Please?
MISSING YOU
"Hey Buffy!" The door slammed open and Willow bounced into their room.
"Hi Will."
Willow looked at her best friend, who was doing what she had been doing ever since they started college - curled up on her bed staring into outer space with her Claddagh ring clutched tightly in her hand. Willow sighed. She'd thought that after 5 months, Buffy would at least be sort of over him. Maybe even go out on a date once in a while. There were plenty of guys who'd be more than happy to take her. But she just stayed here, with the blinds pulled down, and tears that she thought no one could see streaming down her face. She sighed again. "I gotta talk to Giles," she thought.
"Oh, Will?"
"Yeah?"
"Oz called. Said something about meeting him after practice," Buffy told her, with a sad smile on her face. Willow knew from that look, that more than anything, Buffy wanted to be with him. She didn't say anything, but smiled quickly and went out the door, shutting it quietly as she left.
Buffy sighed when she heard the door close. Willow was her best friend, but she hated the way they were around her. All pretending to be happy, like nothing was wrong. But she couldn't blame them. They couldn't know how she felt; they couldn't know the emptiness inside of her. And they couldn't possibly be expected to understand what she was going through, what she had been going through for 5 months, ever since he left her. He hadn't even said goodbye, just walked away. Buffy sighed again, wiping back a tear, and went back to staring at nothing.
***
The door to Giles's apartment was flung open, and he looked up to see Willow, Xander, Anya and Oz come inside.
"Hiya, G-man!" Xander said, much to Giles's disgrace.
"Xander, I believe I have asked you more then once never to call me that again," Giles said, as he had many times before.
"Yeah, think you did. Sorry," Xander replied, not looking it.
"Giles, we're here about Buffy," Willow told him. The expression on her face told Giles that it was more than usual, usual being vampires, demons and the forces of darkness.
"What about Buffy, Willow? Is she alright?"
"Well, um, I wouldn't say alright is the word for it. It's more like, um, barely holding on to sanity."
"Oh. Is it, is it about Angel again, then?" Giles asked, knowing that it would be. His Slayer had been a basket case ever since Angel had left, and she showed no sign of coming back any time soon.
"Who else but?" Willow said sadly. "She's like this robot, Giles. Eat, sleep, mope, eat, sleep, mope. She sits there all day long when she doesn't have classes, just staring at the wall and holding onto the ring he gave her. And when she does have classes, half the time she does the exact same thing. I'm worried about her, Giles. She's, I hate to say it, but she's almost unstable."
"To sum it up, she misses him," Oz put in.
Anya, who had been very quiet throughout this whole exchange, suddenly spoke. "Y'know, if I had my powers back, I'd curse him for her."
"Thanks, An, but I don't really think she'd appreciate that. She wants him back, not cursed more than he already is," Xander told her.
Anya shrugged. "Only trying to help. Because in case you haven't noticed, she's about to do something drastic, if not to the world, then to herself. And I don't want to be responsible for at least not trying to help her."
Giles pushed up his glasses, and sighed. "I suppose we must do something, but what? We can't exactly call Angel and tell him that his ex-lover is about to go over the edge, can we?"
Xander matched his sigh. "No I guess we can't."
But nobody saw the gleam in Willow's eye. "We may not be able to call Angel, but what about Cordelia?" she thought, and hurried away.
***
"Hello, Angel Investigations. If you're selling it, we don't want it," Cordelia's voice trilled.
"Hi, Cordy? It's Willow."
"Willow, hi." Then, being Cordy, she cut straight to the chase. "Why are you ringing?"
"Ok, it's like this. The Slayer we all know and love has been a basket case ever since your boss left her. No kidding, Cordy, she's about to do something drastic."
Being Cordelia, she kept her cool. "Oh. What do you want me to do about it?"
Willow sighed. "Drop hints to Angel or something. Anything to get him to come down here."
"I'll try, Willow. But I dunno. Have you asked Buffy what she wants?" Cordelia asked.
"Cordelia, since when have you ever cared about what Buffy wanted? And no, I haven't asked. But I think it'd be for the best."
"Ok, I'll see what I can do. Bye."
"Bye, Cordy. And thankyou." Willow hung up the phone and a half-smile came onto her face. At least she was doing something.
***
Buffy glanced up as the door opened, and saw Willow and Oz coming in.
"Hey, Buffy," Oz said, in typical Oz fashion.
"Hey," she replied, her voice toneless and her face expressionless. Willow looked at her, concerned, and decided that she needed to get her mind off him, for just one night, even.
"Buffy, you wanna come to the movies tonight? It'll be fun!"
She shook her head. "Nah, but thanks."
"C'mon Buffy, we're all going. You have to."
Buffy shook her head again, and went back to looking at the wall. "Nah, Will, but don't let me stop you. Go have fun."
Oz looked at Willow, as if to tell her 'there's nothing more we can do', and gently propelled her out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Once they were out in the hallway, she turned to him.
"I know what Giles said, but look at her. I'm ringing Angel."
"Will, you can't. Whatever we think, he thinks it was for the best and I don't want to make him do anything that will most likely upset her more, if that's possible."
"I don't care, Oz. I'm sorry, but I don't. He was the one that put her in this state, no matter what he thought, and he's the only one that's gonna be able to get her out of it. I'm ringing." And she dragged him down the hallway to the payphone.
***
"Hello, Angel Investigations. Make it quick, I'm tired."
"Cordy, it's Willow again. Any luck?"
Cordelia frowned. "None in the least. He ignores me if I even say her name."
"Put him on, will you?"
A few seconds later, Angel picked up.
"Hello?" he said.
"Angel, it's Willow. Now shut up and don't speak till I'm finished. Look, Buffy's been having a bad time recently...no, wait, why am I lying? Buffy's been in hell for the last 5 months, killing herself over the fact that you left her. Now, because I'm her friend, and because I know that you still love her more than anything, I am practically on my knees asking you to come back to Sunnydale and make it right." Willow finished her speech and took a huge breath.
"Willow, you know I can't do that."
"Why not, Angel? Why not come back and give her a proper goodbye, at least? Why say goodbye, even? Why not stay with her? Why not show her how much you love her, and I know you do," she asked him, practically begging him.
"I do love her Willow, I love her more than she or you could ever know, and I would come back in an instant and take it all back if..." he started, but Willow cut him off.
"No if's, Angel, just come. Please. Take her back. For her sake, and for yours. Because I know you well enough to know that you're probably still killing yourself over what you did, aren't you?"
Angel gave in. "Ok, I'll come. But don't tell her you did this, ok? I don't want you getting into trouble."
Willow grinned. "My lips are sealed. And thank you, Angel. For this, and for what I know you'll do."
She hung the phone up and smiled. Finally, everything was going to be all right.
***
THE NEXT DAY
Buffy rose from her state when she heard a knock at the door. Opening it, she saw Angel standing there.
"Angel," she whispered.
"And we stare each other down like victims in the grind
Probing all the weakness and hurt still left behind
And we cry these tears of pearls
We do it, oh we do it
Is love really the tragedy the way you might describe
Or would a thousand lovers still leave you cold inside"
"Hi Buffy," he said.
"What are you doing here? Y'know, after breaking my heart and leaving me and not even saying goodbye, what else could you possibly have to say to me?" she yelled, letting all the anger and hurt of the past 5 months out on him.
"Buffy, Buffy, whoa. Calm down. I didn't come here to hurt you, or anything like that," Angel said, grabbing her by the arms.
"No, cause you'd never want to do that, would you?" she asked, tears running down her face. She squirmed out of his grip and looked away.
"Buffy, just listen to me for..."
"No, Angel, you listen to me. I have been in hell for the last 5 months tearing myself up over you, ok? I have been continually telling myself that it was your fault, but I couldn't. I even seriously considered suicide, because after you left me, I had no reason to live. But I couldn't even convince myself that you were the bad guy, because I loved you. I still love you. And the thing that hurts is that you didn't love me enough to even say goodbye," she screamed at him, tears pouring down her face now.
Angel drew her towards him, managing to envelope her in a hug. "Buffy, I did love you. I still do, more than you know. Don't you think it hurt me just as much? Don't you think I was in agony about what I did for ages afterwards? Don't you think I still am? I haven't forgiven myself for leaving you, Buffy. I probably never will. Why do you think I came back?"
She leaned against his chest, her tears making a huge wet patch on his shirt. Then she looked up at him. "Why did you come back, Angel?"
"Because I love you. Because my life was empty without you. Because I didn't have a life without you by my side." He hugged her to him fiercely; not wanting to ever let her go again. Willow had been right, he realized. He loved her and he belonged with her, and he had just been too blind to see it. He leaned down to her and kissed her, a long, deep kiss that told her everything. She stood on tiptoe, trying to get as close to him as she could. Then she broke it off.
"Angel? Stay with me?"
"Forever," he replied, bringing his head back down to kiss her again, his arms wrapped tightly around her. And he knew that this was right. He knew that this was where he belonged.
"You're all I ever wanted
You're all I ever needed
So tell me what to do now
Cause I want you back
It's hard to say I'm sorry
It's hard to make up things I didn't done
A lesson I've learned to well for sure
So don't hang up the phone now
I'm trying to figure out just what to do
I'm going crazy without you
You're all I ever wanted
You're all I ever needed
So tell me what to do now
Cause I want you back"
Email: glitter_and_glam@hotmail.com
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to the genius that is Joss Whedon and he will get them back (relatively) unharmed after I'm finished with them. The featured songs are Tears of Pearls by Savage Garden and I Want You Back by *NSync.
Notes: Freshman year of college, with Buffy moping for her long lost Angel. Plus Oz never left, so Tara isn't in it, and Riley doesn't exist, cause I hate him (Die Fish Boy Die! remember, Nicky? ). One of my first Buffy fics that I ever wrote and that I only just found floating around my files, so be kind =).
Feedback: Come on... you know you want to. Please?
MISSING YOU
"Hey Buffy!" The door slammed open and Willow bounced into their room.
"Hi Will."
Willow looked at her best friend, who was doing what she had been doing ever since they started college - curled up on her bed staring into outer space with her Claddagh ring clutched tightly in her hand. Willow sighed. She'd thought that after 5 months, Buffy would at least be sort of over him. Maybe even go out on a date once in a while. There were plenty of guys who'd be more than happy to take her. But she just stayed here, with the blinds pulled down, and tears that she thought no one could see streaming down her face. She sighed again. "I gotta talk to Giles," she thought.
"Oh, Will?"
"Yeah?"
"Oz called. Said something about meeting him after practice," Buffy told her, with a sad smile on her face. Willow knew from that look, that more than anything, Buffy wanted to be with him. She didn't say anything, but smiled quickly and went out the door, shutting it quietly as she left.
Buffy sighed when she heard the door close. Willow was her best friend, but she hated the way they were around her. All pretending to be happy, like nothing was wrong. But she couldn't blame them. They couldn't know how she felt; they couldn't know the emptiness inside of her. And they couldn't possibly be expected to understand what she was going through, what she had been going through for 5 months, ever since he left her. He hadn't even said goodbye, just walked away. Buffy sighed again, wiping back a tear, and went back to staring at nothing.
***
The door to Giles's apartment was flung open, and he looked up to see Willow, Xander, Anya and Oz come inside.
"Hiya, G-man!" Xander said, much to Giles's disgrace.
"Xander, I believe I have asked you more then once never to call me that again," Giles said, as he had many times before.
"Yeah, think you did. Sorry," Xander replied, not looking it.
"Giles, we're here about Buffy," Willow told him. The expression on her face told Giles that it was more than usual, usual being vampires, demons and the forces of darkness.
"What about Buffy, Willow? Is she alright?"
"Well, um, I wouldn't say alright is the word for it. It's more like, um, barely holding on to sanity."
"Oh. Is it, is it about Angel again, then?" Giles asked, knowing that it would be. His Slayer had been a basket case ever since Angel had left, and she showed no sign of coming back any time soon.
"Who else but?" Willow said sadly. "She's like this robot, Giles. Eat, sleep, mope, eat, sleep, mope. She sits there all day long when she doesn't have classes, just staring at the wall and holding onto the ring he gave her. And when she does have classes, half the time she does the exact same thing. I'm worried about her, Giles. She's, I hate to say it, but she's almost unstable."
"To sum it up, she misses him," Oz put in.
Anya, who had been very quiet throughout this whole exchange, suddenly spoke. "Y'know, if I had my powers back, I'd curse him for her."
"Thanks, An, but I don't really think she'd appreciate that. She wants him back, not cursed more than he already is," Xander told her.
Anya shrugged. "Only trying to help. Because in case you haven't noticed, she's about to do something drastic, if not to the world, then to herself. And I don't want to be responsible for at least not trying to help her."
Giles pushed up his glasses, and sighed. "I suppose we must do something, but what? We can't exactly call Angel and tell him that his ex-lover is about to go over the edge, can we?"
Xander matched his sigh. "No I guess we can't."
But nobody saw the gleam in Willow's eye. "We may not be able to call Angel, but what about Cordelia?" she thought, and hurried away.
***
"Hello, Angel Investigations. If you're selling it, we don't want it," Cordelia's voice trilled.
"Hi, Cordy? It's Willow."
"Willow, hi." Then, being Cordy, she cut straight to the chase. "Why are you ringing?"
"Ok, it's like this. The Slayer we all know and love has been a basket case ever since your boss left her. No kidding, Cordy, she's about to do something drastic."
Being Cordelia, she kept her cool. "Oh. What do you want me to do about it?"
Willow sighed. "Drop hints to Angel or something. Anything to get him to come down here."
"I'll try, Willow. But I dunno. Have you asked Buffy what she wants?" Cordelia asked.
"Cordelia, since when have you ever cared about what Buffy wanted? And no, I haven't asked. But I think it'd be for the best."
"Ok, I'll see what I can do. Bye."
"Bye, Cordy. And thankyou." Willow hung up the phone and a half-smile came onto her face. At least she was doing something.
***
Buffy glanced up as the door opened, and saw Willow and Oz coming in.
"Hey, Buffy," Oz said, in typical Oz fashion.
"Hey," she replied, her voice toneless and her face expressionless. Willow looked at her, concerned, and decided that she needed to get her mind off him, for just one night, even.
"Buffy, you wanna come to the movies tonight? It'll be fun!"
She shook her head. "Nah, but thanks."
"C'mon Buffy, we're all going. You have to."
Buffy shook her head again, and went back to looking at the wall. "Nah, Will, but don't let me stop you. Go have fun."
Oz looked at Willow, as if to tell her 'there's nothing more we can do', and gently propelled her out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Once they were out in the hallway, she turned to him.
"I know what Giles said, but look at her. I'm ringing Angel."
"Will, you can't. Whatever we think, he thinks it was for the best and I don't want to make him do anything that will most likely upset her more, if that's possible."
"I don't care, Oz. I'm sorry, but I don't. He was the one that put her in this state, no matter what he thought, and he's the only one that's gonna be able to get her out of it. I'm ringing." And she dragged him down the hallway to the payphone.
***
"Hello, Angel Investigations. Make it quick, I'm tired."
"Cordy, it's Willow again. Any luck?"
Cordelia frowned. "None in the least. He ignores me if I even say her name."
"Put him on, will you?"
A few seconds later, Angel picked up.
"Hello?" he said.
"Angel, it's Willow. Now shut up and don't speak till I'm finished. Look, Buffy's been having a bad time recently...no, wait, why am I lying? Buffy's been in hell for the last 5 months, killing herself over the fact that you left her. Now, because I'm her friend, and because I know that you still love her more than anything, I am practically on my knees asking you to come back to Sunnydale and make it right." Willow finished her speech and took a huge breath.
"Willow, you know I can't do that."
"Why not, Angel? Why not come back and give her a proper goodbye, at least? Why say goodbye, even? Why not stay with her? Why not show her how much you love her, and I know you do," she asked him, practically begging him.
"I do love her Willow, I love her more than she or you could ever know, and I would come back in an instant and take it all back if..." he started, but Willow cut him off.
"No if's, Angel, just come. Please. Take her back. For her sake, and for yours. Because I know you well enough to know that you're probably still killing yourself over what you did, aren't you?"
Angel gave in. "Ok, I'll come. But don't tell her you did this, ok? I don't want you getting into trouble."
Willow grinned. "My lips are sealed. And thank you, Angel. For this, and for what I know you'll do."
She hung the phone up and smiled. Finally, everything was going to be all right.
***
THE NEXT DAY
Buffy rose from her state when she heard a knock at the door. Opening it, she saw Angel standing there.
"Angel," she whispered.
"And we stare each other down like victims in the grind
Probing all the weakness and hurt still left behind
And we cry these tears of pearls
We do it, oh we do it
Is love really the tragedy the way you might describe
Or would a thousand lovers still leave you cold inside"
"Hi Buffy," he said.
"What are you doing here? Y'know, after breaking my heart and leaving me and not even saying goodbye, what else could you possibly have to say to me?" she yelled, letting all the anger and hurt of the past 5 months out on him.
"Buffy, Buffy, whoa. Calm down. I didn't come here to hurt you, or anything like that," Angel said, grabbing her by the arms.
"No, cause you'd never want to do that, would you?" she asked, tears running down her face. She squirmed out of his grip and looked away.
"Buffy, just listen to me for..."
"No, Angel, you listen to me. I have been in hell for the last 5 months tearing myself up over you, ok? I have been continually telling myself that it was your fault, but I couldn't. I even seriously considered suicide, because after you left me, I had no reason to live. But I couldn't even convince myself that you were the bad guy, because I loved you. I still love you. And the thing that hurts is that you didn't love me enough to even say goodbye," she screamed at him, tears pouring down her face now.
Angel drew her towards him, managing to envelope her in a hug. "Buffy, I did love you. I still do, more than you know. Don't you think it hurt me just as much? Don't you think I was in agony about what I did for ages afterwards? Don't you think I still am? I haven't forgiven myself for leaving you, Buffy. I probably never will. Why do you think I came back?"
She leaned against his chest, her tears making a huge wet patch on his shirt. Then she looked up at him. "Why did you come back, Angel?"
"Because I love you. Because my life was empty without you. Because I didn't have a life without you by my side." He hugged her to him fiercely; not wanting to ever let her go again. Willow had been right, he realized. He loved her and he belonged with her, and he had just been too blind to see it. He leaned down to her and kissed her, a long, deep kiss that told her everything. She stood on tiptoe, trying to get as close to him as she could. Then she broke it off.
"Angel? Stay with me?"
"Forever," he replied, bringing his head back down to kiss her again, his arms wrapped tightly around her. And he knew that this was right. He knew that this was where he belonged.
"You're all I ever wanted
You're all I ever needed
So tell me what to do now
Cause I want you back
It's hard to say I'm sorry
It's hard to make up things I didn't done
A lesson I've learned to well for sure
So don't hang up the phone now
I'm trying to figure out just what to do
I'm going crazy without you
You're all I ever wanted
You're all I ever needed
So tell me what to do now
Cause I want you back"