TRICK
By Morrigan Mikagami
Disclaimers: Aoshi and Misao not mine--owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki, Sony, Shueshia, etc. Song not mine either--owned by L'ArcEnCiel, written and composed by Yukihiro, sung by Haido.
(song lyrics)
--
(no sympathy boys test you)
How many times has she walked up those hundred flights of stone stairs; drawing herself out from the cradle of sleepless slumber, each early morning wanting to be there for him.
To bring his morning tea.
Yet without as much as a mere acknowledgement from him.
(no sympathy boys trick you)
How many times has she cheerfully narrate to him the nonsensical and insignificant events of the passing days; choking down his silent replies and passive response.
To keep him company.
To be with him.
She knows. She's only making a fool of herself. She doesn't mind.
And he sips his tea in silence.
(no sympathy boys watch you)
Once in a while, he'd look up at her. Cold, blue-grey eyes piercing through her soul, their emptiness sting her heart, tearing her apart.
But she would look back at him, mirroring his gaze with only the intensity of her unrequited emotions; searching for a soul that could be lost to forever, hanging on to slightest anticipation.
And he would continue to watch her, still, with the same cold, distant stare.
(no sympathy boys wake up)
How many times has she wished he'd ask her to stay? In dire hope as she pick up the tray and cups she bought and murmured her pained good-byes.
To know that he wanted her here.
To know that he doesn't want her to leave.
And with faltering footsteps, she ruefully made her way back home.
(you only stand motionless. you are making a breaking smile)
"Aoshi-sama..?"
She could feel the barrier, the distance he wanted her to feel. With every moment that would pass without a word from him felt like tiny pins that poked persistently at her skin, which left her numb, as she stood peering down at him in apprehension.
With as much enthusiasm in her voice as she could muster, she held her heart in sanguine anticipation. Once more, she would try.
"Do you need anything else?"
He raised his head slightly and looked at her with his impassive gaze and uttered the most single, comprehensive word she had wished he wouldn't say.
"No."
She shivered at the iciness of his voice. There was nothing more beyond that. Nothing more.
How foolish of her to hope.
(you try to stay in your shell, but you know, it's meaningless)
Trying not to lose her self, she simply smiled. Her heart broken into a million pieces; she smiled.
She could, at least pretend that he never meant for it. She could, at least pretend that she was all right.
And she would pretend that the iciness wasn't there. That the distance was at reach. That the barrier did not--and had never existed between them.
(test yourself you will know you will know you are incapacity)
The night wasn't different from any other. She would lie on the same futon, her eyes swelling from the same tears that she cried, from the same pain that throbbed in her heart.
'...Aoshi-sama..'
(without hesitation, boys test you)
The moon rose higher into the sky, bathing the streets with its sliver light as the whole city nuzzled into a peaceful sleep. Only the crickets could hear her silent weeping; answering with their own sorrowful song, each repressed sob.
'..naze ka..?'
(without hesitation, boys trick you)
Darkness was her only companion. It crept into the still night, inviting her to snuggle at what little comfort it could give.
'Why won't you...'
(without hesitation, boys watch you)
One thin ray reached the recesses of the window of her room to touch the small of her cheeks, as though it meant to dry the soreness that plagued her features.
'Why won't you...'
But the tears continue to fall.
(without hesitation, boys wake up)
She cannot make them stop.
'Why couldn't you...'
The tears...
(boys, boys test you)
They wouldn't stop.
'Why wouldn't you let me?'
The pain...
(boys, boys trick you)
It would always ache. It would always hurt her, exhausting her body, tormenting her soul, shattering her spirit.
No matter, she would cry. Those tears were for him. She cried, for him.
Because...
...she loved him.
She loves him... too much.
Too much.
(boys, boys watch you)
Morning light.
How many times? She stood up from the futon and arranged herself.
Another day. Another chance.
How many times? She looked at her reflection in the mirror and gazed at the girl that looked back at her with puffy eyes and a radiant smile.
Continue to pretend.
Continue to be hurt.
Continue to love.
(boys, boys wake up)
No matter how many times.
She gathered up the tea cups and some rice cake on a tray; and stepped into the glistening morning sun. With hurried little steps, she made her way to the temple.
Wanting to be there for him.
OWARI
Disclaimers: Aoshi and Misao not mine--owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki, Sony, Shueshia, etc. Song not mine either--owned by L'ArcEnCiel, written and composed by Yukihiro, sung by Haido.
(song lyrics)
--
(no sympathy boys test you)
How many times has she walked up those hundred flights of stone stairs; drawing herself out from the cradle of sleepless slumber, each early morning wanting to be there for him.
To bring his morning tea.
Yet without as much as a mere acknowledgement from him.
(no sympathy boys trick you)
How many times has she cheerfully narrate to him the nonsensical and insignificant events of the passing days; choking down his silent replies and passive response.
To keep him company.
To be with him.
She knows. She's only making a fool of herself. She doesn't mind.
And he sips his tea in silence.
(no sympathy boys watch you)
Once in a while, he'd look up at her. Cold, blue-grey eyes piercing through her soul, their emptiness sting her heart, tearing her apart.
But she would look back at him, mirroring his gaze with only the intensity of her unrequited emotions; searching for a soul that could be lost to forever, hanging on to slightest anticipation.
And he would continue to watch her, still, with the same cold, distant stare.
(no sympathy boys wake up)
How many times has she wished he'd ask her to stay? In dire hope as she pick up the tray and cups she bought and murmured her pained good-byes.
To know that he wanted her here.
To know that he doesn't want her to leave.
And with faltering footsteps, she ruefully made her way back home.
(you only stand motionless. you are making a breaking smile)
"Aoshi-sama..?"
She could feel the barrier, the distance he wanted her to feel. With every moment that would pass without a word from him felt like tiny pins that poked persistently at her skin, which left her numb, as she stood peering down at him in apprehension.
With as much enthusiasm in her voice as she could muster, she held her heart in sanguine anticipation. Once more, she would try.
"Do you need anything else?"
He raised his head slightly and looked at her with his impassive gaze and uttered the most single, comprehensive word she had wished he wouldn't say.
"No."
She shivered at the iciness of his voice. There was nothing more beyond that. Nothing more.
How foolish of her to hope.
(you try to stay in your shell, but you know, it's meaningless)
Trying not to lose her self, she simply smiled. Her heart broken into a million pieces; she smiled.
She could, at least pretend that he never meant for it. She could, at least pretend that she was all right.
And she would pretend that the iciness wasn't there. That the distance was at reach. That the barrier did not--and had never existed between them.
(test yourself you will know you will know you are incapacity)
The night wasn't different from any other. She would lie on the same futon, her eyes swelling from the same tears that she cried, from the same pain that throbbed in her heart.
'...Aoshi-sama..'
(without hesitation, boys test you)
The moon rose higher into the sky, bathing the streets with its sliver light as the whole city nuzzled into a peaceful sleep. Only the crickets could hear her silent weeping; answering with their own sorrowful song, each repressed sob.
'..naze ka..?'
(without hesitation, boys trick you)
Darkness was her only companion. It crept into the still night, inviting her to snuggle at what little comfort it could give.
'Why won't you...'
(without hesitation, boys watch you)
One thin ray reached the recesses of the window of her room to touch the small of her cheeks, as though it meant to dry the soreness that plagued her features.
'Why won't you...'
But the tears continue to fall.
(without hesitation, boys wake up)
She cannot make them stop.
'Why couldn't you...'
The tears...
(boys, boys test you)
They wouldn't stop.
'Why wouldn't you let me?'
The pain...
(boys, boys trick you)
It would always ache. It would always hurt her, exhausting her body, tormenting her soul, shattering her spirit.
No matter, she would cry. Those tears were for him. She cried, for him.
Because...
...she loved him.
She loves him... too much.
Too much.
(boys, boys watch you)
Morning light.
How many times? She stood up from the futon and arranged herself.
Another day. Another chance.
How many times? She looked at her reflection in the mirror and gazed at the girl that looked back at her with puffy eyes and a radiant smile.
Continue to pretend.
Continue to be hurt.
Continue to love.
(boys, boys wake up)
No matter how many times.
She gathered up the tea cups and some rice cake on a tray; and stepped into the glistening morning sun. With hurried little steps, she made her way to the temple.
Wanting to be there for him.
OWARI