Fanatics: Seamus.
"Okay...think, Alan, think...You're stuck in Hogwarts...Voldemort's on your tail and wants to kill you...What do you do? Ah, MOMMY! DON'T LET THE BIG MEAN DARK WIZARD KILL ME!" I ran as fast as I could to the nearest dorm. "Dammit...Open sesame?"
"Sorry, that is not the password. Try again."
"Um, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is in the building, he's after me, LET ME IN, DAMN YOU, LET ME IN!"
"Sorry, that isn't the password either."
"Dammit... Ah, hey...you?"
"Yes?"
"What's your name?"
"JK..."
"Listen, I'm Alan Smithee for MTV's Harry Potter Fanatics, how'd you like to be on the show?"
"WOULD I?"
"Okay...just get me into this room to hide and I'll get you on the show. What's the password?"
"Okay... 'Meat Puppet.'" In an instant, the painting revealed the breakroom.
"Cool. Which room is this?"
"This is Gryffindor, Duh! Can't you see the colors?" JK replied.
"Oh, I thought that was just your gang stuff. Well, a deal's a deal...Hey, you! What's your name?"
"Um, Seamus..." Seamus replied.
"How'd you like to be interviewed for Harry Potter Fanatics?" I asked.
"Sounds damn cool, man!" Seamus headed over to me.
"Hi, I'm Alan Smithee for Harry Potter Fanatics, the show that brings people to meet other people in the Harry Potter universe. Today, we're having...um, JK meet up with, um, Seamus!" Yes...smooth...don't let anyone know you've got
Opening thoughts:
"Why are they just sticking me with Seamus? I mean, we are in the same house...I could talk to him whenever I wanted to, man! Eh, at least I'll be on television..."
"Cool! I get to be on Fanatics! So what if someone from Gryffindor is interviewing me, at least I'm on here...Besides, it'll hopefully get on, I hear the host of the show is in some serious trouble..."
"Seamus!"
"JK! What's up?"
"Not much, man. Well, I've got a few questions for you..."
"Fire away, bro!"
"Let's see... If you could play any Quidditch position, what would it be?"
"Ah, the eternal question to start off with, eh? Well, let's see... I'd probably take being a Chaser. Beaters and Keepers are just role-players, so I wouldn't want that. I mean, everyone wants the glory, don't they? You have to be awesome to be a Seeker, but Chasers get more chances per game to get the glory than a Seeker would. In addition, a team with great Chasers will likely beat out a team with a great Seeker, so you have to figure..."
"Cool...well...You're stranded on a desert island. What one Muggle item do you take with you?"
"Are you insane, man? I'd take me a nice boat! Get me away from that island post-haste!"
"Now we're going to have to go into the hard stuff... Who's the hottest girl in your year?"
"Actually, I think that's the main problem with Hogwarts, the fact that it's the premiere school for wizards in the United Kingdom. Did you see most of the ladies in my year? They look like they should be in Winthropshire's School for the High-Class Hag, man! I couldn't believe the places for this; most of the other wizarding schools are in places that my friends told me are famous for having really beautiful witches in abundance: France, Bulgaria, Burkina Faso, Rhode Island, and the like. What's a guy to do, man? (Though, I will say that there's some hotties here...I'd like to go up to that Divination class and see if the tea leaves reveal me getting to slip the ol' shillelagh to one of Trelawney's groupies, eh?)"
"I see... Which is better - brains or beauty?"
" Oh, Come on man. I may be a damn good wizard, but I'm still a 14 year old guy. Of course it's beauty, man! Brains may be good in the long run, but I don't see that Granger lass swamped with admirers, now do I?"
"Well, let's see here...What's your favourite Chocolate Frog card?"
"Well, they are a little overdone, but I'll bite...Definitely my grandfather's card. Apparently, he was backup Chaser for Ireland the first time they won the Quidditch World Cup back in 1926, and they put the team on a card that they rereleased in last year's set. I had to trade my Agrippa to Weasley to get it, but I don't regret it one bit."
"What's your ideal meal?"
"Eh, I'm not really big into too much eating. Mostly a sensible meal over at the Three Broomsticks is fine with me. You know, a nice sandwich, maybe a little soup, ten or twelve pints of butterbeer..."
" In Irish folk music, is the penny whistle or the fiddle better?"
Ah, the age old question....The penny whistle's easier to play...but the fiddle's the whole point to most of the style....but the penny whistle is necessary to get the proper melody for the piece...but that fiddle-playing chick in that one Muggle band is really cute...to answer your question, they're both necessary to get that sweet sweet folk groove on."
"MEAT PUPPET."
"What the hell is that?" I jumped behind a table and watched.
"HAHAHAHA! WE HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN IN! HAND US SMITHEE AND NO ONE GETS HURT!"
"INDEED..."
"What? What's Kaientai doing here?" I asked.
"YOU THINK WE ARE A JOKE? WE COME IN DUTY OF OUR LEADERS...THE YAKUZA!" Taka replied.
"INDEED..."
"Dammit...Story of my life. Whenever I'm doing fine, the Yakuza always comes in to try and stop me...Well, not this time! I've gotten past a sorceress, a sorceress's knight, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, psychotic network executives with their very own dementor, and I'm not going to stop now!"
"HA! WE HAVE JUST MET WITH VOLDEMORT! HE HAS TAUGHT US WELL!" Taka yelled.
"AVERA KEDAVRA..." Funaki chanted. Instantly, JK was struck with the Killing Curse. The other Gryffindors ran in terror.
"I think that's my cue to leave...Tune in next time when I interview...well, I don't know, I've just got to head out..."
"Wait, Alan! Take me with you!" Seamus replied.
"Why? I need to head out."
"Well, everyone needs a sidekick, and you could do worse than a Wizard to get past that whole 'Muggle' thing..." Seamus explained.
"Well, okay. Let's get out of here!" Me and Seamus proceeded to steal two broomsticks and high-tail it out of the general vicinity.
"How do you ride these things?" I asked.
"Don't worry, the magic's inside of the broomstick! Muggles who are willing to try and are lucky enough to find an enchanted one can fly without problems!" I quickly got on the broomstick and flew away.
"Okay...think, Alan, think...You're stuck in Hogwarts...Voldemort's on your tail and wants to kill you...What do you do? Ah, MOMMY! DON'T LET THE BIG MEAN DARK WIZARD KILL ME!" I ran as fast as I could to the nearest dorm. "Dammit...Open sesame?"
"Sorry, that is not the password. Try again."
"Um, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is in the building, he's after me, LET ME IN, DAMN YOU, LET ME IN!"
"Sorry, that isn't the password either."
"Dammit... Ah, hey...you?"
"Yes?"
"What's your name?"
"JK..."
"Listen, I'm Alan Smithee for MTV's Harry Potter Fanatics, how'd you like to be on the show?"
"WOULD I?"
"Okay...just get me into this room to hide and I'll get you on the show. What's the password?"
"Okay... 'Meat Puppet.'" In an instant, the painting revealed the breakroom.
"Cool. Which room is this?"
"This is Gryffindor, Duh! Can't you see the colors?" JK replied.
"Oh, I thought that was just your gang stuff. Well, a deal's a deal...Hey, you! What's your name?"
"Um, Seamus..." Seamus replied.
"How'd you like to be interviewed for Harry Potter Fanatics?" I asked.
"Sounds damn cool, man!" Seamus headed over to me.
"Hi, I'm Alan Smithee for Harry Potter Fanatics, the show that brings people to meet other people in the Harry Potter universe. Today, we're having...um, JK meet up with, um, Seamus!" Yes...smooth...don't let anyone know you've got
Opening thoughts:
"Why are they just sticking me with Seamus? I mean, we are in the same house...I could talk to him whenever I wanted to, man! Eh, at least I'll be on television..."
"Cool! I get to be on Fanatics! So what if someone from Gryffindor is interviewing me, at least I'm on here...Besides, it'll hopefully get on, I hear the host of the show is in some serious trouble..."
"Seamus!"
"JK! What's up?"
"Not much, man. Well, I've got a few questions for you..."
"Fire away, bro!"
"Let's see... If you could play any Quidditch position, what would it be?"
"Ah, the eternal question to start off with, eh? Well, let's see... I'd probably take being a Chaser. Beaters and Keepers are just role-players, so I wouldn't want that. I mean, everyone wants the glory, don't they? You have to be awesome to be a Seeker, but Chasers get more chances per game to get the glory than a Seeker would. In addition, a team with great Chasers will likely beat out a team with a great Seeker, so you have to figure..."
"Cool...well...You're stranded on a desert island. What one Muggle item do you take with you?"
"Are you insane, man? I'd take me a nice boat! Get me away from that island post-haste!"
"Now we're going to have to go into the hard stuff... Who's the hottest girl in your year?"
"Actually, I think that's the main problem with Hogwarts, the fact that it's the premiere school for wizards in the United Kingdom. Did you see most of the ladies in my year? They look like they should be in Winthropshire's School for the High-Class Hag, man! I couldn't believe the places for this; most of the other wizarding schools are in places that my friends told me are famous for having really beautiful witches in abundance: France, Bulgaria, Burkina Faso, Rhode Island, and the like. What's a guy to do, man? (Though, I will say that there's some hotties here...I'd like to go up to that Divination class and see if the tea leaves reveal me getting to slip the ol' shillelagh to one of Trelawney's groupies, eh?)"
"I see... Which is better - brains or beauty?"
" Oh, Come on man. I may be a damn good wizard, but I'm still a 14 year old guy. Of course it's beauty, man! Brains may be good in the long run, but I don't see that Granger lass swamped with admirers, now do I?"
"Well, let's see here...What's your favourite Chocolate Frog card?"
"Well, they are a little overdone, but I'll bite...Definitely my grandfather's card. Apparently, he was backup Chaser for Ireland the first time they won the Quidditch World Cup back in 1926, and they put the team on a card that they rereleased in last year's set. I had to trade my Agrippa to Weasley to get it, but I don't regret it one bit."
"What's your ideal meal?"
"Eh, I'm not really big into too much eating. Mostly a sensible meal over at the Three Broomsticks is fine with me. You know, a nice sandwich, maybe a little soup, ten or twelve pints of butterbeer..."
" In Irish folk music, is the penny whistle or the fiddle better?"
Ah, the age old question....The penny whistle's easier to play...but the fiddle's the whole point to most of the style....but the penny whistle is necessary to get the proper melody for the piece...but that fiddle-playing chick in that one Muggle band is really cute...to answer your question, they're both necessary to get that sweet sweet folk groove on."
"MEAT PUPPET."
"What the hell is that?" I jumped behind a table and watched.
"HAHAHAHA! WE HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN IN! HAND US SMITHEE AND NO ONE GETS HURT!"
"INDEED..."
"What? What's Kaientai doing here?" I asked.
"YOU THINK WE ARE A JOKE? WE COME IN DUTY OF OUR LEADERS...THE YAKUZA!" Taka replied.
"INDEED..."
"Dammit...Story of my life. Whenever I'm doing fine, the Yakuza always comes in to try and stop me...Well, not this time! I've gotten past a sorceress, a sorceress's knight, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, psychotic network executives with their very own dementor, and I'm not going to stop now!"
"HA! WE HAVE JUST MET WITH VOLDEMORT! HE HAS TAUGHT US WELL!" Taka yelled.
"AVERA KEDAVRA..." Funaki chanted. Instantly, JK was struck with the Killing Curse. The other Gryffindors ran in terror.
"I think that's my cue to leave...Tune in next time when I interview...well, I don't know, I've just got to head out..."
"Wait, Alan! Take me with you!" Seamus replied.
"Why? I need to head out."
"Well, everyone needs a sidekick, and you could do worse than a Wizard to get past that whole 'Muggle' thing..." Seamus explained.
"Well, okay. Let's get out of here!" Me and Seamus proceeded to steal two broomsticks and high-tail it out of the general vicinity.
"How do you ride these things?" I asked.
"Don't worry, the magic's inside of the broomstick! Muggles who are willing to try and are lucky enough to find an enchanted one can fly without problems!" I quickly got on the broomstick and flew away.